I was just looking on Amazon.com and saw that they have On Becoming Preschoolwise on sale for a great price right now. It is $4.40 for a brand new book! List is $12.95 so that is a great deal. Check it out if you don't have it yet! Preschoolwise is definitely one of my favorite books in the -wise series. I think it is even my very favorite. It is worth the buy.
Welcome!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
In Action: Cry It Out
I recently went through Cry It Out (CIO) with McKenna and learned a few new things this time around. She was nearly three month old, so much older than my older two children were when they started CIO. Brayden started CIO at about 9 weeks. Kaitlyn started CIO at 5 days. McKenna was 12 weeks old.
The reason she had never done CIO is because she never needed it. She didn't cry at all before naps until then even though I put her down awake for every nap since 3 days old.
The first several times she cried before naps, I went to her. I assumed something was wrong since she hadn't cried in nearly three months before a nap. I found it odd. But I couldn't find anything wrong with her. She didn't cry before every nap. It was usually the third nap. Over a few days, it started creeping into other naps.
Since I was used to her going to sleep rather quickly, I worried she would become overly tired and throw off her entire day, so I moved her to the swing. One day, she started crying before her first nap. This was when I knew I needed to start CIO. I knew I had her waketime perfect for her first interval and her crying was protest crying. At nearly three months, she was getting more and more social. I figured she was not pleased with her social hour ending. I don't think McKenna hates naps like Brayden did (does), but I also don't think she has the love of them that Kaitlyn did (does). She is pretty neutral, so if something more appealing is going on, she will choose that instead.
Despite the fact that I have done this before, I found a book particularly worthwhile as I faced this situation. The book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Many of you blog readers love this book and wanted me to review it, so I had ordered it from Amazon, not knowing what it contained. It came a few days before I started CIO. This book is very helpful for doing CIO--but more on that in future reviews of the book.
One Monday morning, I mustered up my resolve and was ready to face CIO. I was not excited. It isn't fun. I had done the four S's from The Baby Whisperer from birth, though we only ever needed to use the first three. I told my husband this was not fair; I had been careful and diligent and did not want to start CIO now. He told me if anyone could, it was me. So I faced the music.
Well, she must have sensed my resolve. She didn't cry for long. It was only a few minutes. Perhaps I should have allowed her to cry a bit in the first place? By her third nap, she wasn't crying at all anymore. She did take a long time to fall asleep, though. I sat and watched her in the video monitor. I was tempted to run up and put her in the swing so she would be able to get a good nap in. I told myself no. For whatever reason, she was needing to re-learn how to fall asleep on her own. I needed to leave her be and let her fall asleep. She wasn't even crying! I needed to be patient and allow the learning process to happen.
Prior to this week, she had been taking about 20-30 minutes to fall asleep (not crying, just taking that long). Hogg says this is normal, but it really just didn't feel right to me. After this CIO process, she was going to sleep within a few minutes. Here are a few things that just clicked with the week:
The reason she had never done CIO is because she never needed it. She didn't cry at all before naps until then even though I put her down awake for every nap since 3 days old.
The first several times she cried before naps, I went to her. I assumed something was wrong since she hadn't cried in nearly three months before a nap. I found it odd. But I couldn't find anything wrong with her. She didn't cry before every nap. It was usually the third nap. Over a few days, it started creeping into other naps.
Since I was used to her going to sleep rather quickly, I worried she would become overly tired and throw off her entire day, so I moved her to the swing. One day, she started crying before her first nap. This was when I knew I needed to start CIO. I knew I had her waketime perfect for her first interval and her crying was protest crying. At nearly three months, she was getting more and more social. I figured she was not pleased with her social hour ending. I don't think McKenna hates naps like Brayden did (does), but I also don't think she has the love of them that Kaitlyn did (does). She is pretty neutral, so if something more appealing is going on, she will choose that instead.
Despite the fact that I have done this before, I found a book particularly worthwhile as I faced this situation. The book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Many of you blog readers love this book and wanted me to review it, so I had ordered it from Amazon, not knowing what it contained. It came a few days before I started CIO. This book is very helpful for doing CIO--but more on that in future reviews of the book.
One Monday morning, I mustered up my resolve and was ready to face CIO. I was not excited. It isn't fun. I had done the four S's from The Baby Whisperer from birth, though we only ever needed to use the first three. I told my husband this was not fair; I had been careful and diligent and did not want to start CIO now. He told me if anyone could, it was me. So I faced the music.
Well, she must have sensed my resolve. She didn't cry for long. It was only a few minutes. Perhaps I should have allowed her to cry a bit in the first place? By her third nap, she wasn't crying at all anymore. She did take a long time to fall asleep, though. I sat and watched her in the video monitor. I was tempted to run up and put her in the swing so she would be able to get a good nap in. I told myself no. For whatever reason, she was needing to re-learn how to fall asleep on her own. I needed to leave her be and let her fall asleep. She wasn't even crying! I needed to be patient and allow the learning process to happen.
Prior to this week, she had been taking about 20-30 minutes to fall asleep (not crying, just taking that long). Hogg says this is normal, but it really just didn't feel right to me. After this CIO process, she was going to sleep within a few minutes. Here are a few things that just clicked with the week:
- Waketime Length: I finally figured out her optimal waketime length for all but one interval (that is the last one). She goes to sleep fine for it, but takes a short nap. This might be totally normal, though, since she is old enough to be having a short fourth nap.
- Stimulation: In Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Weissbluth states to expose your child to lots of stimulation so he will be tired enough for nap time. I realized I was still trying to protect McKenna from stimulation like I had when she was a newborn. I needed to start exposing her to more stimulating activities now that she was older. This seemed to help a lot.
- Darkening: Also in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Weissbluth says to darken the room for naps. Hogg (the Baby Whisperer) also says to do this. Now, I did/do this with Brayden and Kaitlyn, but their rooms have white blinds. It darkens the room, but it doesn't make the room dark. With McKenna, we went with dark brown blinds. They really make the room dark. I didn't want her to require a dark room to sleep. However, I decided to give it a shot. I decided that she sleeps at home most of the time and if she needs a darker room to sleep, she needs a darker room! There is no logical reason to fight it like I was. This also rippled into keeping her room much, much cooler so it isn't so hot in the afternoon.
- Eye Contact: Before I would leave the room, I would look McKenna in the eye and tell her to go to sleep. That seemed to help.
In the end, I think it was really good for McKenna to have had the four S's from the beginning. It was an easy, gentle way to help her sleep (though keep in mind that we never had to get to the fourth S). As she got older, she didn't like being held before the nap so I stopped it. Eventually, she started crying before naps. Since she already had skill at going to sleep on her own, the crying was not prolonged once we started CIO.
One week after starting this CIO process, there were still some naps that McKenna will cry before randomly. It usually lasted only 1-2 minutes tops (it often stopped as soon as I shut her door). But the process was much faster and much more painless than it was with Brayden and Kaitlyn overall. Two weeks after starting the CIO process, she goes down to sleep without a peep and falls asleep quickly. She goes to sleep well on her own and greets me with a smile when her nap is over. I am happy to have this process over with :)
Related Posts/Blog Labels:
- CIO Bootcamp: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/cio-bootcamp.html
- CIO Responsibly: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/cio-responsibly.html
- CIO (blog label)
- in action (blog label)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Making Children Mind...Discipline is Not Instant Gratification
My favorite point in Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Dr. Kevin Leman is also the first great point of the book. Leman says that in parenting, we often desire and even expect instant gratification--we want the issues fixed immediately. He points out that parenthood is not a short-term investment, it is a long-term loan (page 14).
This point rang very true to me. I personally believe our modern society is far too accustomed to instant gratification in life. We have microwaves that can produce dinner in minutes. Often that requires too much effort, so we turn to fast food restaurants. Even many sit-down restaurants have dinner out to you in minutes. We have the Internet and 24 hour news channels. It doesn't take much effort to find information. We have cell phones so we can get ahold of people anytime, anywhere. It is common custom for people to call someone at their home, and if they get the answering machine, they immediately dial the cell phone. If that isn't answered, frustration follows. Up until recently, loans and credit cards were far too easy to attain. We want what we want when we want it. We do not want to have to save up for things.
When my husband graduated from college, we noticed a common trend with people our age. They wanted to have things as nice as their parents do at the moment. People our age generally grew up during very prosperous economic times. By the time we left home, our parents had nice homes, nice cars, and nice furniture. We wanted the same luxuries we had left! We didn't want to start out with hand-me-down furniture and old clunker cars. My husband and I thought through what our parents had gone through to get where they were. They lived many years quite poor. They drove old cars. The lived in small apartments and homes. They saved their money up to buy nice things. They started earning larger salaries after working with the same company for over twenty years. They worked hard to have the nice things they had when we left home. We understood that we would have to do the same.
All of this is to point out that we live in a society that is accustomed to instant gratification, and we naturally want the same results when it comes to parenting. If our child is not behaving, we want to know what we need to do to fix it. It needs to be a simple fix requiring minimal effort on our part, and we had better see the results instantly! As I have thought this through, I have realized that this applies to all parenting concerns. If baby isn't napping well, we want to know what to do and we want it fixed the first time we change things. Most parenting advice authors stress the need to give a certain fix several days before assuming it is not the answer.
My feeling is that in general, Babywise parents are more willing to put time and effort into their parenting. We have had to work hard to get to the toddler years, and we know that hard work is necessary and that it pays off.
We still can fall into the trap of desiring instant gratification, though. We want instant nap fixes and instant behavior problem fixes. When it comes to discipline, time and consistency are always key! The first day you start a new policy on behavior issues, don't expect things to zip on up to where you want them to be. It will take time and consistency to have your child behaving as well as he can. You might start enforcing "Yes Mommy." But he isn't going to immediately respond with his "Yes, Mommy" every time. He isn't going to be super pleased about it, either. After time and consistency, you will start to see the benefits from the work you have put in.
When you think about it, the best things in life are the things that require time and effort. The best food is food that is freshly made. A home-cooked meal tastes better and is more nutritious for you than a meal from McDonald's (sorry McDonald's, it is true). You will enjoy wearing a shirt that is paid for better than one that is costing you 10% in interest each month. You appreciate the couch you spend 6 months saving for more than the one you bought on a whim and on credit. Training your children follows the same principle. Time, consistency, and effort pays off rich rewards. In the years to come, you will be happier if you treat parenthood as an investment rather than a loan.
Related Posts/Blog Labels:
This point rang very true to me. I personally believe our modern society is far too accustomed to instant gratification in life. We have microwaves that can produce dinner in minutes. Often that requires too much effort, so we turn to fast food restaurants. Even many sit-down restaurants have dinner out to you in minutes. We have the Internet and 24 hour news channels. It doesn't take much effort to find information. We have cell phones so we can get ahold of people anytime, anywhere. It is common custom for people to call someone at their home, and if they get the answering machine, they immediately dial the cell phone. If that isn't answered, frustration follows. Up until recently, loans and credit cards were far too easy to attain. We want what we want when we want it. We do not want to have to save up for things.
When my husband graduated from college, we noticed a common trend with people our age. They wanted to have things as nice as their parents do at the moment. People our age generally grew up during very prosperous economic times. By the time we left home, our parents had nice homes, nice cars, and nice furniture. We wanted the same luxuries we had left! We didn't want to start out with hand-me-down furniture and old clunker cars. My husband and I thought through what our parents had gone through to get where they were. They lived many years quite poor. They drove old cars. The lived in small apartments and homes. They saved their money up to buy nice things. They started earning larger salaries after working with the same company for over twenty years. They worked hard to have the nice things they had when we left home. We understood that we would have to do the same.
All of this is to point out that we live in a society that is accustomed to instant gratification, and we naturally want the same results when it comes to parenting. If our child is not behaving, we want to know what we need to do to fix it. It needs to be a simple fix requiring minimal effort on our part, and we had better see the results instantly! As I have thought this through, I have realized that this applies to all parenting concerns. If baby isn't napping well, we want to know what to do and we want it fixed the first time we change things. Most parenting advice authors stress the need to give a certain fix several days before assuming it is not the answer.
My feeling is that in general, Babywise parents are more willing to put time and effort into their parenting. We have had to work hard to get to the toddler years, and we know that hard work is necessary and that it pays off.
We still can fall into the trap of desiring instant gratification, though. We want instant nap fixes and instant behavior problem fixes. When it comes to discipline, time and consistency are always key! The first day you start a new policy on behavior issues, don't expect things to zip on up to where you want them to be. It will take time and consistency to have your child behaving as well as he can. You might start enforcing "Yes Mommy." But he isn't going to immediately respond with his "Yes, Mommy" every time. He isn't going to be super pleased about it, either. After time and consistency, you will start to see the benefits from the work you have put in.
When you think about it, the best things in life are the things that require time and effort. The best food is food that is freshly made. A home-cooked meal tastes better and is more nutritious for you than a meal from McDonald's (sorry McDonald's, it is true). You will enjoy wearing a shirt that is paid for better than one that is costing you 10% in interest each month. You appreciate the couch you spend 6 months saving for more than the one you bought on a whim and on credit. Training your children follows the same principle. Time, consistency, and effort pays off rich rewards. In the years to come, you will be happier if you treat parenthood as an investment rather than a loan.
Related Posts/Blog Labels:
- discipline (blog label)
- leman (blog label)
- parenting (blog label)
- Book Review: Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours
- Making Children Mind...Random Thoughts
- Making Children Mind...Discipline Thoughts
- Making Children Mind...Encouragement vs. Reward
- Making Children Mind...Show Love
- Making Children Mind...The Super Parent
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Newborn Summary: Week Fourteen
McKenna is not officially a newborn, but she is close enough I thought I would continue the series :). This is age 13-14 weeks old, or the fourteenth week. She also turned 3 months old at the beginning of this week. This week was wonderful, though pretty uneventful. Naps were great, night was great, everything was just great.
NURSING
Things remain the same other than McKenna getting more social. She loves to pull off and chit chat with me and smile. I also had to leave the room one time because she wouldn't focus and eat--she wanted to find Brayden and Kaitlyn.
WAKETIME
McKenna's optimal waketime lengths were as follows:
1st: 50 minutes
2nd: 60 minutes
3rd: 60-70 minutes
4th: unsure. I still wasn't sure about this length. When figuring out optimal, I work from the top down, so this is my last one to figure out. I went for about 60 minutes, which worked fine, but didn't necessarily feel perfect.
NAPS
Naps were great. McKenna slept really well. She started taking a longer morning nap. Since her last nap of the day is shorter, I thought it would be good to do a combo 2.5-3.5 hour schedule and let her sleep longer in the morning.
NIGHTTIME
McKenna started extending her nights every other night. So one night she would sleep from the dreamfeed until morning waketime and the next night she would make it only about 8 hours, which then required me feeding one side, putting her down, then getting her up a couple of hours later. I am happy with the progress she is making.
ADJUSTED AGE
I have mentioned that McKenna was born three weeks early. Because of that, I like to give her some leeway in my sleep hopes. I have been reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and in it he stresses over and over that your child will meet sleeping milestones at certain ages, and those ages are to be calculated from the due date, not the birth date. I found that very interesting.
OUR SCHEDULE
Our schedule looked like this:
8:00--eat
8:50--nap
11:00--eat
12:00--nap
2:00--eat
3:00--nap
4:30--eat
5:30--nap
6:30 or 7:00--eat then down to bed
10:00--dreamfeed
Every other night, she ate between 5:30 AM and 6:00 AM. Those days, we started at 8 AM. The other days, she at between 7:00 AM and 7:30 AM. She still slept until about 11:00 AM.
OUTINGS/EVENTS
Most of our outings and events seem to not really affect McKenna because she will sleep pretty well still. I try to get her to sleep at her normal times and for the same duration, which does get harder and harder as they get older.
McKenna had her three week pictures this week. We set an appointment, and they took us 30 minutes late for it. This never fails to irritate me! I set an appointment for a reason, and that is so I can be there when my baby is alert and freshly fed. By the time the took us, it was time for her nap. However, she was still cute and smiley and we got some wonderful pictures.
We also went to a lake one day this week. We left right after her first feeding. She normally sleeps in the car, but our trip was through a windy canyon. She did not sleep at all. This threw off the day because she did not get her good morning nap (which I try my best to preserve). My husband was great and held her in the sling for her next nap and got a two hour nap out of her. He is much better at keeping her asleep in it than I am. By the end of the day, she was pretty disrupted. The next day was Sunday, which is the disruption of church. Because of that, Monday was disrupted with not ideal naps, but she had bounced back by Tuesday. This was her first Monday that was disrupted after a weekend.
HELPFUL BOOKS/WEBSITES
NURSING
Things remain the same other than McKenna getting more social. She loves to pull off and chit chat with me and smile. I also had to leave the room one time because she wouldn't focus and eat--she wanted to find Brayden and Kaitlyn.
WAKETIME
McKenna's optimal waketime lengths were as follows:
1st: 50 minutes
2nd: 60 minutes
3rd: 60-70 minutes
4th: unsure. I still wasn't sure about this length. When figuring out optimal, I work from the top down, so this is my last one to figure out. I went for about 60 minutes, which worked fine, but didn't necessarily feel perfect.
NAPS
Naps were great. McKenna slept really well. She started taking a longer morning nap. Since her last nap of the day is shorter, I thought it would be good to do a combo 2.5-3.5 hour schedule and let her sleep longer in the morning.
NIGHTTIME
McKenna started extending her nights every other night. So one night she would sleep from the dreamfeed until morning waketime and the next night she would make it only about 8 hours, which then required me feeding one side, putting her down, then getting her up a couple of hours later. I am happy with the progress she is making.
ADJUSTED AGE
I have mentioned that McKenna was born three weeks early. Because of that, I like to give her some leeway in my sleep hopes. I have been reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and in it he stresses over and over that your child will meet sleeping milestones at certain ages, and those ages are to be calculated from the due date, not the birth date. I found that very interesting.
OUR SCHEDULE
Our schedule looked like this:
8:00--eat
8:50--nap
11:00--eat
12:00--nap
2:00--eat
3:00--nap
4:30--eat
5:30--nap
6:30 or 7:00--eat then down to bed
10:00--dreamfeed
Every other night, she ate between 5:30 AM and 6:00 AM. Those days, we started at 8 AM. The other days, she at between 7:00 AM and 7:30 AM. She still slept until about 11:00 AM.
OUTINGS/EVENTS
Most of our outings and events seem to not really affect McKenna because she will sleep pretty well still. I try to get her to sleep at her normal times and for the same duration, which does get harder and harder as they get older.
McKenna had her three week pictures this week. We set an appointment, and they took us 30 minutes late for it. This never fails to irritate me! I set an appointment for a reason, and that is so I can be there when my baby is alert and freshly fed. By the time the took us, it was time for her nap. However, she was still cute and smiley and we got some wonderful pictures.
We also went to a lake one day this week. We left right after her first feeding. She normally sleeps in the car, but our trip was through a windy canyon. She did not sleep at all. This threw off the day because she did not get her good morning nap (which I try my best to preserve). My husband was great and held her in the sling for her next nap and got a two hour nap out of her. He is much better at keeping her asleep in it than I am. By the end of the day, she was pretty disrupted. The next day was Sunday, which is the disruption of church. Because of that, Monday was disrupted with not ideal naps, but she had bounced back by Tuesday. This was her first Monday that was disrupted after a weekend.
HELPFUL BOOKS/WEBSITES
- The Wonder Weeks. (and a link to their site: http://livingcontrolsystems.com/)
- On Becoming Baby Wise
- The Nursing Mother's Companion: Revised Edition
- Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby
- The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood
- Super Baby Food
- What to Expect the First Year
- http://kellymom.com/
- Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS
- newborns (blog label)
- newborn summary (blog label)
- optimal waketime (blog label)
- Early Morning Feedings Before Waketime: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/early-morning-feedings-before-waketime.html
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Reader Questions Introduction
From time to time, I will be posting posts with questions from readers. These are questions that were asked on posts that didn't relate to the post it was asked on. I know many readers benefit from reading other reader's comments, so I thought I would put them into their own posts.
This way when you click on a blog label for a topic, you will see other questions from readers that apply to that topic that you wouldn't have seen otherwise. Hopefully this will help people in their problem solving, even if it is just so they know they are not alone :) Since summer is a big travel time, I thought I would start with traveling questions.
RELATED BLOG LABELS:
This way when you click on a blog label for a topic, you will see other questions from readers that apply to that topic that you wouldn't have seen otherwise. Hopefully this will help people in their problem solving, even if it is just so they know they are not alone :) Since summer is a big travel time, I thought I would start with traveling questions.
RELATED BLOG LABELS:
Reader Traveling Questions
These are traveling questions posted by readers on posts that didn't apply to traveling. I moved them here so others can benefit from them.
- susie said... We are getting ready to travel to the beach with our daughter. We will be going this October when it isn't soo hot and she will be 14 months. I worry about the 6 hour drive. She is a great sleeper and I thought I would travel at night, but I have never tried that and I don't know how that will go. And too, most places don't allow you to check in before lunch, so that affects the morning nap. Any suggestions?I love your blog. It has been really helpful to us!!!
June 10, 2008 5:44 AM
Plowmanators said... Susie,If it were me, I think I would stay home the night before and get the good night sleep. I would have the car all packed and ready to go so as soon as she woke you could get in the car and go. Then you would get to your hotel soon after check-in time. She might take her morning nap in the car, might not. But that way, you won't disrupt night and morning nap. You will be in a better position for a good day. But neither of my kids will sleep in the car, so that is what I would do.If she does sleep in the car, you can drive in the night. If it is only 6 hours, though, I would worry about what to do in the middle of the night. If you left at 9 PM, you would arrive at 3 AM. Then what? An option would be to leave the evening before and get a hotel for that night, but just be checking in late. So say you left right after dinner around 6 or 7. You then would arrive around 12 or 1. Maybe baby would sleep on the way. But then you would all go to bed and have the hotel for the morning nap also.Lots of options! Be sure to check out the traveling posts:
Dealing With Disruptions To Your Routine: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/dealing-with-disruptions-in-your.html Flying with a Baby : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/flying-with-baby.html Traveling and CIO http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/traveling-and-cio.html Traveling in a Car : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/traveling-in-car.html Traveling With Baby: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/traveling-with-baby.html
June 11, 2008 10:23 AM - twinsx3 said...
First let me say congratulations on the girl! Also, I wanted you to know that this blog has been a blessing to me in the past year. Thanks for continuing it even when you are not feeling well. Now on to my questions! Thanksgiving travel with my 16 mo twins was horrible to say the least! The babies slept terrible at night and for naps. Once home, we are back to CIO because they both were basically in our bed almost every night while we were gone. :( I am determined to help them learn to sleep better before Christmas travels. We also just went down to 1 nap this week since being home. How long should I let them get used to 1 nap before I start making them sleep in the pack n play in every room in my house! Seriously, how often should I change the location of naps to get them used to napping in different places. Also during Thanksgiving travel both pack n plays were in the same room as DH and I. Is there any way to for us all to sleep in the same room in our own beds?Thanks so much!
December 4, 2008 12:41 PM
Plowmanators said...
Twinsx3, oh, that sounds rough. I haven't ever had a child sleep in bed with me for that very reason--I think I would sleep on the floor first :) I have a good friend who was very sick one night, as was her 1 year old. There was a thunder storm and it was making it so her daughter couldn't sleep. She decided to take her to bed with her that night. She told me that was the biggest mistake. Not only did she not sleep well anyway because she was being kicked all night, but it took her daughter (who previously slept completely on her own with no problem) two full weeks of basic re-training. I would give them a week to get back on track before you start mixing things up again. Maybe two if needed. I don't know if there is a magic number of how often to vary locations. I only have Kaitlyn sleep in her room or my room, so we have two locations. If you think your twins are less flexible, you might want to add a couple of locations if feasible.When you set up the pack n' play, put blankets around it so they can't see out. That is what I do for Kaitlyn, then we do the same when we travel. When we camped last summer, we were all in the same camper without problem. I assume you have looked, but if not be sure to look at all of the traveling posts for further ideas.
December 5, 2008 12:14 PM
RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS
- disruptions (blog label)
- flexibility (blog label)
- Let Your Schedule Serve You: You Don't Serve Your Schedule (Don't Stress)
- traveling (blog label)
- Dealing With Disruptions To Your Routine: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/dealing-with-disruptions-in-your.html
- Traveling and CIO
- Flying with a Baby
- Camping Tips
- Traveling in a Car
- Traveling With Baby: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/traveling-with-baby.html
Monday, July 6, 2009
Play and Your Preschooler
A child's job is to play. As adults, we might think of play as nothing more than recreational fun, but for a child, it is much more than that. On Becoming Preschoolwise points out that through play, a child learns problem solving, moral skills, social skills, improved motor skills, logic, reasoning, and strategy (page 16). That is a lot of skills!
Many parents today worry about the academics and success of their children. They might also want their children to excel musically and/or athletically. Because of this, parents start flash cards with a baby and music lessons as a toddler. You can see preschoolers running up and down the soccer field with overzealous coaches and parents screaming from the sidelines.
Your child learns all of the skills listed above through play. "Play is not simply an activity that a child wants to absorb himself in, but a necessary framework of understanding his world" (page 27). You don't need to overbook your child into formal learning organizations. Your three year old would likely learn more about T-ball if his parents played with him than throwing him into a situation with a couple of dozen other three year olds who don't know what they are doing.
I am not saying organized sports or lessons are inherently bad. There is a time and season for them. The point here is to not overlook the value of play. Overbooking your child denies him the opportunity to play since he is so busy running from lesson, to practice, to games, to recitals...the list goes on.
The other end of the spectrum is allowing your child to engage in too much absorption activities like television. This is not play. I don't think television is a necessary part of life. I also don't personally think it is inherently bad. I allow my children TV time each day. I monitor what they watch. I love shows like Super Why! and Word World that actually provide some educational value along with the entertainment. Some learning can happen here, but keep in mind that children learn through play.
Preschoolwise also points out that play reveals strengths and weaknesses of your child. You can observe your child's moral strengths and weaknesses as you play a board game with him. Does he follow the rules? How does he handle losing? How about winning? Will he play a second time even if he looses?
I have found playing games with Brayden very interesting. I am a competitive person by nature, as is my husband. I try to keep that at bay (which is difficult) while playing with Brayden. At first I realized I took it too far. I let him win all the time. I try to find a balance between playing to win and letting him win. He needs to experience that others win sometimes, too.
Once Brayden started to get competitive, he would have a happy dance that included a song to the effect of "I win! I win!" Well, that might not hurt my feelings at all, but if he were to do that to a child his age, it likely would. It isn't fun to have your loss rubbed in your face. This is something that is difficult to explain to a three year old, but over time, he has gotten it.
He also didn't enjoy losing. He would be sad and tell me he didn't want to lose. I replied that I knew. People don't want to lose. But not everyone wins. Over time, we were able to build up to an attitude of happiness just to be playing. We congratulated each other when things were going well. When things didn't go well for ourselves, we shrugged our shoulders and still had fun playing.
Most board games for children are completely left up to chance. Candyland is a good example. There are still things you can do in Candyland to make it hard on yourself and easy on your child. One example might be to require yourself to go back to the candycane after you have passed the peanut, but not require that of your child. Take wisdom in how you approach these games. It isn't good to always let your child win, but you don't always want to "smoke" your kid either.
Naturally you will want some formal learning time with your preschooler each day. "Not all education comes in the form of play" (page 27). You will need to teach sitting and focusing skills. You will need to teach your child to concentrate on the task at hand. You will need to give opportunities for your child to listen and follow instructions. Through play, you can observe your child's strengths and weaknesses and work on the weaknesses during formal learning time.
If your child is younger, knowing the importance and value of play can give you added incentive to incorporate independent playtime into your child's day. You will also want to allow free playtime and other structured playtime as your child grows. Playing is not a waste of time, and the ability of a child to play on his own teaches many wonderful skills. Children need to play, so be sure that each day you provide time for it. It is not time wasted, but time well spent.
RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS
Many parents today worry about the academics and success of their children. They might also want their children to excel musically and/or athletically. Because of this, parents start flash cards with a baby and music lessons as a toddler. You can see preschoolers running up and down the soccer field with overzealous coaches and parents screaming from the sidelines.
Your child learns all of the skills listed above through play. "Play is not simply an activity that a child wants to absorb himself in, but a necessary framework of understanding his world" (page 27). You don't need to overbook your child into formal learning organizations. Your three year old would likely learn more about T-ball if his parents played with him than throwing him into a situation with a couple of dozen other three year olds who don't know what they are doing.
I am not saying organized sports or lessons are inherently bad. There is a time and season for them. The point here is to not overlook the value of play. Overbooking your child denies him the opportunity to play since he is so busy running from lesson, to practice, to games, to recitals...the list goes on.
The other end of the spectrum is allowing your child to engage in too much absorption activities like television. This is not play. I don't think television is a necessary part of life. I also don't personally think it is inherently bad. I allow my children TV time each day. I monitor what they watch. I love shows like Super Why! and Word World that actually provide some educational value along with the entertainment. Some learning can happen here, but keep in mind that children learn through play.
Preschoolwise also points out that play reveals strengths and weaknesses of your child. You can observe your child's moral strengths and weaknesses as you play a board game with him. Does he follow the rules? How does he handle losing? How about winning? Will he play a second time even if he looses?
I have found playing games with Brayden very interesting. I am a competitive person by nature, as is my husband. I try to keep that at bay (which is difficult) while playing with Brayden. At first I realized I took it too far. I let him win all the time. I try to find a balance between playing to win and letting him win. He needs to experience that others win sometimes, too.
Once Brayden started to get competitive, he would have a happy dance that included a song to the effect of "I win! I win!" Well, that might not hurt my feelings at all, but if he were to do that to a child his age, it likely would. It isn't fun to have your loss rubbed in your face. This is something that is difficult to explain to a three year old, but over time, he has gotten it.
He also didn't enjoy losing. He would be sad and tell me he didn't want to lose. I replied that I knew. People don't want to lose. But not everyone wins. Over time, we were able to build up to an attitude of happiness just to be playing. We congratulated each other when things were going well. When things didn't go well for ourselves, we shrugged our shoulders and still had fun playing.
Most board games for children are completely left up to chance. Candyland is a good example. There are still things you can do in Candyland to make it hard on yourself and easy on your child. One example might be to require yourself to go back to the candycane after you have passed the peanut, but not require that of your child. Take wisdom in how you approach these games. It isn't good to always let your child win, but you don't always want to "smoke" your kid either.
Naturally you will want some formal learning time with your preschooler each day. "Not all education comes in the form of play" (page 27). You will need to teach sitting and focusing skills. You will need to teach your child to concentrate on the task at hand. You will need to give opportunities for your child to listen and follow instructions. Through play, you can observe your child's strengths and weaknesses and work on the weaknesses during formal learning time.
If your child is younger, knowing the importance and value of play can give you added incentive to incorporate independent playtime into your child's day. You will also want to allow free playtime and other structured playtime as your child grows. Playing is not a waste of time, and the ability of a child to play on his own teaches many wonderful skills. Children need to play, so be sure that each day you provide time for it. It is not time wasted, but time well spent.
RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS
- Index: Best Toys for Baby/Toddler
- imagination (blog label)
- independent playtime (blog label)
- learning (blog label)
- More Than Making it Through the Day (blog label)
- preschoolwise (blog label)
- Benefits of Independent Play
- television (blog label)
- Factors that Influence Learning
- The Learning Process (Toddlerwise)
- Learning Activities (Preschoolwise)
- Roomtime
- Structured Playtime
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Index: In Action
Benefits of Babywise In Action
- In Action: Benefits of Babywise : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/06/in-action-benefits-of-babywise.html
- In Action: Benefits of Babywise II : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/11/in-action-benefits-of-babywise-ii.html
- In Action: Benefits of Babywise III : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/in-action-benefits-of-babywise-iii.html
- More Benefits of Babywise : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/more-benefits-of-babywise.html
- Success Story : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/success-story.html
Dropping Naps In Action
- In Action: Dropping the Morning Nap: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/12/in-action-dropping-morning-nap.html
- In Action: Dropping the Third Nap: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/in-action-dropping-3rd-nap.html
Flexibility In Action
- In Action: Comforting Sick Children
- In Action: Flexibility and Mistakes : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/in-action-flexibility-and-mistakes.html
- Follow up: In Action--Flexibility and Mistakes : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/follow-up-in-action-flexibility-and.html
Independent Playtime In Action
- In Action: Love of Independent Playtime : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/in-action-love-of-independent-playtime.html
Learning In Action
- Learning Activities (Preschoolwise) : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/learning-activities-preschoolwise.html
- Learning Activity of the Day
Milestones In Action
- In Action: Moving to a Toddler Bed: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/03/in-action-moving-to-toddler-bed.html
- In Action: Weaning from Bottle : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/07/in-action-weaning-from-bottle.html
- In Action: Weaning from Breast : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/in-action-weaning-from-breast.html
Naps In Action
- In Action: Troubleshooting Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/in-action-troubleshooting-naps.html
- In Action: Troubleshooting Naps (Again): http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/in-action-troubleshooting-naps-again.html
Newborn Life In Action
- Newborn Summary: Week One
- Newborn Summary: Week Two
- Newborn Summary: Week Three
- Newborn Summary: Week Four
- Newborn Summary: Week Five
- Newborn Summary: Week Six
- Newborn Summary: Week Seven
- Newborn Summary: Week Eight
- Newborn Summary: Week Nine
- Newborn Summary: Week Ten
- Newborn Summary: Week 11
- Newborn Summary: Week Twelve
- Newborn Summary: Week Thirteen
- Postpartum Survival Tips
Parenting In Action
- In Action: Looking to Self First : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/02/in-action-looking-to-self-first.html
Potty Training In Action
- Potty Prep: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/11/potty-prep.html
- Potty Training and Accidents: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/11/potty-training-and-accidents.html
- Starting Potty Training: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/starting-potty-training.html
- Potty Training: First Day: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/potty-training-first-day.html
- Potty Training: Days 2 and 3: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/potty-training-days-2-and-3.html
- Potty Training: Days 4 and 5: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/potty-training-days-4-and-5.html
- Potty Training: Days 6-9: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/potty-training-days-6-9.html
- Potty Training On Hold: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/potty-training-on-hold.html
- Potty Training Success! : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/06/potty-training-success.html
Schedules In Action
- In Action: Adjusting Schedule as Needed : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/in-action-adjusting-schedule-as-needed.html
- In Action: Change Your Strategy : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/08/in-action-change-your-strategy.html
- Sample Schedules : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/sample-schedules.html
- Sample Schedules: One Year and Up : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/sample-schedules-one-year-and-up.html
- Sample Schedules: Tandem Schedules : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/sample-schedules-tandem-schedules.html
- Sample Schedules: Trio Schedules : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/05/sample-schedules-trio-schedules.html
Index: The Happiest Baby On The Block
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/happiest-baby-on-block.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: Causes of Colic: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/happiest-baby-on-block-causes-of-colic.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: 5 S's : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/happiest-baby-on-block-5-ss.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: Shhh...: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/02/happiest-baby-on-block-shhh.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: Side/Stomach : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/02/happiest-baby-on-block-sidestomach.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: Swaddling : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/happiest-baby-on-block-swaddling.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: Swinging : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/02/happiest-baby-on-block-swinging.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: Sucking: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/02/happiest-baby-on-block-sucking.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: The Cuddle Cure : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/03/happiest-baby-on-block-cuddle-cure.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: Other Colic Remedies : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/03/happiest-baby-on-block-other-colic.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: Sleep : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/03/happiest-baby-on-block-sleep.html
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: Conclusion : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/03/happiest-baby-on-block-conclusion.html
Index: Four Hour Schedule
- Four Hour Schedule: More Thoughts: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/4-hour-schedule-more-thoughts.html
- Poll Results: What Age Did Your Baby Move to a 4 Hour Schedule: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/poll-results-what-age-did-your-baby.html
- When to Move to a 4 hour Schedule: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/when-to-move-to-4-hour-schedule.html
Index: Flexibility
- Adjusting for Context: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/adjusting-for-context.html
- Change Your Strategy : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/change-your-strategy.html
- In Action: Adjusting Schedule as Needed : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/in-action-adjusting-schedule-as-needed.html
- In Action: Flexibility and Mistakes : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/in-action-flexibility-and-mistakes.html
- Follow up: In Action--Flexibility and Mistakes : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/follow-up-in-action-flexibility-and.html
- Let Your Schedule Serve You: You Don't Serve Your Schedule (Don't Stress): http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/let-your-schedule-serve-you-you-dont.html
- The More You Do It, The More Your Child Will Get Used To It : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/03/more-you-do-it-more-your-child-will-get.html
Index: Feeding
Discipline and Feeding:
- Baby Highchair Manners: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/baby-highchair-manners.html
- Creating a "Good Eater": http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/creating-good-eater.html
- Picky Eaters: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/picky-eaters.html
- Throwing/Dropping Food off of the Tray : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/06/throwingdropping-food-off-of-tray.html
Dropping Feedings:
- Dropping a Feeding : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/06/dropping-feeding.html
- Dropping the 4th Feeding : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/07/dropping-4th-feeding.html
- Early Morning Feedings Before Waketime: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/early-morning-feedings-before-waketime.html
Feeding Cycle:
- Eat/Wake/Sleep Cycle: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/eatwakesleep-cycle.html
Feeding Supplies:
- Highchair Features: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/highchair-features.html
Finger Foods:
Making Babyfood:
- Book Recommendation: Super Baby Food : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/book-recommendation-super-baby-food.html
- Making Babyfood : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/making-babyfood.html
Newborns and Feeding:
- Baby Whisperer: Feeding a Sleepy Newborn : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/08/baby-whisperer-feeding-sleepy-newborn.html
- Sleepy Newborns: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/sleepy-newborns.html
Nighttime Feedings:
- Early Morning Feedings Before Waketime: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/early-morning-feedings-before-waketime.html
Self-Feeding:
- Feeding Your Pre-Toddler: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/feeding-your-pre-toddler.html
Sippy Cups:
- Introducing a Sippy Cup: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/non-bw-introducing-sippy-cup.html
- Juice vs. Water: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/juice-vs-water.html
Snacks:
Toddlers:
Friday, July 3, 2009
2 Year Old Sleep Problems
A month after Brayden turned two, he started taking a long time to go to sleep at night. At the time, I attributed it to several factors. One is that a month after he turned two, it is the longest day of the year where we live. The sun goes down quite late. As I have mentioned, Brayden is a sun riser. I figured it was hard for him to go to sleep since the sun was still up. Another possible factor was that he had a new baby sister. Another possible factor was that he was in a new room and his bed was right by the window, which looked out onto the road. Brayden has always loved to watch cars go by. At this time, he didn't cry or put up any sort of fuss about going to sleep. He didn't get out of bed. He just sat in his window and talked to himself.
Over the last couple of years, I have often seen moms post questions about their two year old suddenly taking a long time to go to sleep at night. After several of these questions, I started to wonder if there is something about a two year old that makes it hard for them to sleep. I wondered what would happen with Kaitlyn.
Kaitlyn, most of you are aware, is and always has been a great sleeper. Kaitlyn loves to sleep. She doesn't mind naptime or bedtime. Despite this, Kaitlyn also started taking a long time to fall asleep after she turned two.
Kaitlyn had several of the same factors. She had a new sister. She had a new bed. It was the longest time of the year again. She was in the same room, however, and didn't have a window. But Kaitlyn is not one who needs anything to entertain her; she has a very vivid imagination even as a two year old.
One day I was talking with a friend about McKenna (unrelated topic) who told me her pediatrician says children need to learn to fall asleep about five times in their lives. She couldn't remember exactly. She knew one was at two months. One was at one year. One was at two years. She thought another was at 6 months and at 18 months. Then she couldn't remember the other. I have no idea where he came to this conclusion from, but I found it interesting. I often get questions about a 6 month old or one year old who is suddenly not sleeping well. There could be some truth to this.
Kaitlyn also doesn't cry and doesn't protest going to bed at all. She is also really quiet, but sometimes as I go to get McKenna for her dreamfeed, I hear Kaitlyn singing in her room!
So those of us with a two year old know that this is fairly typical, based on observation. The question is, what do you do about it?
There are a few ways to go about it, and your answer is going to depend on your child's personality. By this point, you know your child well. You know if your child responds well to you re-entering the room or not. Here are some options for this situation:
Over the last couple of years, I have often seen moms post questions about their two year old suddenly taking a long time to go to sleep at night. After several of these questions, I started to wonder if there is something about a two year old that makes it hard for them to sleep. I wondered what would happen with Kaitlyn.
Kaitlyn, most of you are aware, is and always has been a great sleeper. Kaitlyn loves to sleep. She doesn't mind naptime or bedtime. Despite this, Kaitlyn also started taking a long time to fall asleep after she turned two.
Kaitlyn had several of the same factors. She had a new sister. She had a new bed. It was the longest time of the year again. She was in the same room, however, and didn't have a window. But Kaitlyn is not one who needs anything to entertain her; she has a very vivid imagination even as a two year old.
One day I was talking with a friend about McKenna (unrelated topic) who told me her pediatrician says children need to learn to fall asleep about five times in their lives. She couldn't remember exactly. She knew one was at two months. One was at one year. One was at two years. She thought another was at 6 months and at 18 months. Then she couldn't remember the other. I have no idea where he came to this conclusion from, but I found it interesting. I often get questions about a 6 month old or one year old who is suddenly not sleeping well. There could be some truth to this.
Kaitlyn also doesn't cry and doesn't protest going to bed at all. She is also really quiet, but sometimes as I go to get McKenna for her dreamfeed, I hear Kaitlyn singing in her room!
So those of us with a two year old know that this is fairly typical, based on observation. The question is, what do you do about it?
There are a few ways to go about it, and your answer is going to depend on your child's personality. By this point, you know your child well. You know if your child responds well to you re-entering the room or not. Here are some options for this situation:
- Leave Her Be: One option is to just wait this period out. It doesn't last forever. Currently, Brayden goes to bed soon after he gets there.
- Go Stop Her: She might benefit from you going in and telling her to go to sleep. You want to be careful with this, though. She might start to figure if she stays up, she gets extra visits from Mom. These visits will likely include extra kisses and hugs, perhaps even one more song. So she might start fighting sleep in order to get some more face time with her parents. Also, if this is an issue of learning to fall asleep again, then your visit will disrupt the learning process.
- Tweak Bedtime: I think it is possible that many two year olds are going to sleep a little too late. Going to bed too late can lead to it taking time for a person to fall asleep. I have seen that even with myself currently. Be sure bedtime isn't later than your child needs it to be.
- Combo: My guess is that most families would benefit from a combo of these suggestions. Fix bedtime. For the most part leave her be. If she is getting rowdy or getting out of bed, go in and gently tell her to go back to bed, but try to be unemotional about it. Just be firm and matter of fact. Don't be mad and don't be extra sweet and lovey. Watch the results of you going in closely. If it seems she is staying up even more, don't go in.
In the end, don't stress out about this. Over some time, she will be back to going to sleep soon after her head hits the pillow.
Related Posts/Blog Labels
- bedtime (blog label)
- sleep problems (blog label)
- toddlers (blog label)
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Making Children Mind...Show Love
In Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours, Dr. Kevin Leman discusses 6 tips for showing your children you love them.
- See Your Children As God Sees Them: Children are a blessing in our lives. Yes, they are often challenging. Yes, they often bring us the greatest fatigue and frustration we have ever known. Conversely, they bring us the greatest joy. Have you ever loved anyone with such ease? Your child is a child of God. Keep that eternal perspective in mind when your 2 year old tells you, "No! I do it myself!"
- Childlike Attitude: Leman says to not take yourself too seriously. Play with your children. I am very familiar with the desire to get things done. I am task oriented and a work-before-play sort of gal. Those aren't bad qualities, but the reality is that there will always be work. No matter how many times you do the dishes, they are going to get dirty again. I am not saying we should let things go, but we can relax. We can take time with our children. After we eat lunch, my children go outside to play. I always want to clean up the kitchen before joining them. A few days ago, I decided I would put away the perishables and then go play with them. We had a lot of fun and the kitchen didn't complain at all about being dirty a couple of extra hours. My little sister is so great with kids. Kids love her because she gets down and plays with them, and she enjoys it! She isn't sitting there thinking of all the other, more important things she can be doing. She is just enjoying her time playing with the kids. She has fun. I have never met a child that didn't love my little sister.
- Direct Eye Contact: I of course have to add my cultural caveat here. If direct eye contact isn't appropriate in your culture, insert a culturally appropriate item here. For the average person living in the USA, eye contact is very important to show your interest. This might sound easy, but it gets to be challenging. Your child will approach you while you are working on something and want to talk. You will have to tell yourself to look at your child and give him your attention. Eye contact is an important non-verbal cue that tells your listener that you are interested and engaged in the conversation.
- Physically Express Love: Give hugs and kisses. Cuddle as your read your bedtime stories. Pat the back when he has done something right. Have fun and tickle. Show your child physical affection.
- Be A Good Listener: Remember the eye contact. Be prepared to listen to the same thing over and over. Respond to what they are saying, and try to be more creative than, "Really?" "Mmmm." "Uh-huh." For young children, it helps to repeat back what they just said. It makes them happy to see that they can communicate to you. Don't interrupt and don't habitually be too busy for your child.
- Spend Time: Time spent together doesn't have to be extravagant. It can be sweeping the kitchen floor, going for a walk, praying, eating, etc. When I was pregnant with McKenna, I was sick a lot. I had to wake up before Brayden and Kaitlyn in order to eat breakfast before I fed them. They didn't like it when I didn't eat with them. At first I tried to make my time useful by doing the dishes while they ate, but I found they were much happier if I sat at the table with them while they ate food and talked with them. I am reminded of a country song that talks about a father being too busy for his son. Eventually, the father is old and wants to spend time with his son, who is now too busy for him. Your children are only highly interested in your time for so long. Then they start being highly interested in friends and other activities. Take advantage of the time you have while they really want to be with you. You can then build a bond and set a precedent. You can't expect your teenager to sit and eat meals with the family if you haven't done so in the past (not to say you can't start new traditions or habits, but it will be harder).
You are going to want your child to grow up feeling loved and grow up feeling comfortable spending time and talking with you. These six tips can help you show love to your child--though it definitely isn't an exhaustive list. It is just a good starting point :)
RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS
- Love Languages -- Not Babywise
- love (blog label)
- love language (blog label)
- leman (blog label)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
