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Showing posts with label Family Home Evening. Show all posts

Teaching the Gospel in Your Home

If you are a religious person, chances are good that you are highly desirous to teach that religion to your children. You want them to know what you know and have a testimony of those things. Children need to develop their own testimonies--they can't (and won't) rely on and believe your testimony forever. At some point the decision will come to them--do I believe or don't I?

Let me assure you that teaching the gospel is something that requires the slow and steady approach. You need to be consistent in your small efforts daily. You don't need some grand, pinteresty event that will give your child a testimony one day and you can call it good. You need consistency in your actions. You need small and simple things. These things are not grand. You will not read these ideas I am about to give and be impressed with this new, big idea I have come up with. Think tortoise here. We parents are all tortoises in slowly building up our children's testimonies. 

1-Family Scripture Study--Daily
Your children can't know the gospel and gain a testimony of it without hearing about it. And they need to hear over and over. We are commanded to study the scriptures (see John 5:39). Reading with your children gives you the chance to teach the meaning of scriptures and thereby testify of things daily. 

To be successful at family scripture study, choose a time of day you know your family can be consistent at it. I have written on Family Scripture Study in the past, so read that post for more details on making it work.

Let me also make a note--encourage your children to study the scriptures on their own. This is of course easy for the reader, but even McKenna did this each morning thanks to easy modern technology. All it takes is an app with scriptures that will read aloud (you could also do this "on tape). 

2-Prayers--Daily
We have family prayers together each night. After we are done reading scriptures, we all kneel in a circle and take turns each night saying the prayer. This is a great time for you to be able to teach your children how to pray, through instruction and example. Don't be fooled; every family prayer is not going to be this calm, peaceful moment. We got to a point where I declared any irreverence during the prayer would mean we repeat it until everyone could get it right. The thing to remember is that as you do it consistently, the effort over time does pay off. You are slowly painting a masterpiece, stroke by stroke. 

We pray before each meal. 

I also really like to say a family prayer with my children before they leave for school, but this is an area we really can improve on. I remember about half of the time in the morning rush. 

It is helpful to teach your children to pray on their own. We teach our children to pray individually each morning and each night before bed.

Also teach your children that they can pray any time they need to pray. 

3-Family Home Evening
This is a really great thing to do to build family unity. It gives you another forum for lessons on officially teaching the gospel to your children. It is a fantastic opportunity for your children to take turns teaching. Teaching requires bearing of testimony, and bearing of testimony strengthens testimony. Read my post on Family Home Evening for full details. There are powerful benefits to having this in your life. 

4-Holidays and Special Occasions
There are many holidays that are centered on the gospel, like Christmas and Easter. Take times like these to teach the true meaning of the season. I have found singing songs that talk about the religious side of the holiday is a great gateway to children asking questions about things, and when children ask questions, they listen to the answer.

5-Mealtime
Having everyone sitting at the table together is an excellent chance to talk about life--daily life and the bigger picture of life. Every meal does not have to be a preaching session, but gospel topics can naturally come up as part of the discussion as it makes sense. See my post on Prioritizing Family Meals for more on this topic.

6-Bedtime
You can work discussion into bedtime. You can tell scripture stories as part of your bedtime stories. You can be open to answering questions as you tuck your child in. Children often are willing to talk more at bedtime (delay tactic!). Take advantage of this time that they are willing to talk. 

7-Chore Time
I have talked before about Triad Communication. Basically, when you are both focused on something else, it is easier to talk about things. Stay mindful of chances to bring in gospel topics as you are working together. You can relate experiences to the experiences of those in the scriptures (and this, of course, requires that you have a familiarity with the scriptures yourself). 

8-Private Interviews
I very recently discussed having Private Interviews with Children. See this post to learn all about it. 

9-Family Fun
Do things together as a family that are fun. Spend time with your children. Doing these things with your children will help your children feel close to you and feel love from you. They then will respect what you have to say more and be willing to come to you with questions more. Children will no doubt some day have a doubt or two (or many) about the gospel. That is a pretty normal thing for most people. You want your children to feel comfortable coming to you with those questions and not seeking sources that do not have your child's best interest at heart. 

10-Be an Example
Always, always be an example to your children. Live what you teach. Your children will have a very hard time developing a testimony of things if you are a hypocrite. Yes, you will make mistakes. That is not being a hypocrite so long as you are willing to repent and make amends for those mistakes. 

Young children want to be just like their parents. If they see you living the gospel, they will do it, too. If they see you praying, they will pray, too. If they see you reading your scriptures, they will read theirs too. If they see you serving others, they will serve also. I feel really strongly about example and have written on it several times:

Family Home Evening

source
I often reference our Family Home Evening, but I haven't ever dedicated a post entirely to it. I thought it was high time!

FAMILY HOME EVENING DEFINED
Simply put, Family Home Evening (FHE) is one evening a week when your family gets together to have a gospel-based lesson and spend time together. We also sing a song, pray, have family business, do an activity, and have a treat.

As you probably know, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. FHE is actually something that is asked of us to do by our Prophet. We are asked to do this on Monday nights if at all possible (having everyone do it the same night means we can have no other activities happening in the church on Monday night--Monday night is family night). This is a "why" vs. "how" thing though--the exact night is not of great importance--the importance is that it happens.

REASONS FOR FAMILY HOME EVENING (THE WHY)
Again, to start simply, it is to protect and strengthen the family. Here is a quote:

"...our dedication to this program will help protect our families against the evils of our time and will bring us abundant joy now and throughout the eternities." (True to the Faith, Family Home Evening).

We are also told:

"It can bring spiritual growth to each member of the family, helping him or her to withstand the temptations which are everywhere. The lessons learned in the home are those that last the longest." Thomas S. Monson

Our church membership was first instructed to hold Family Home Evening in 1915. They were told these blessings would come from FHE:
  • Love at home will increase
  • Obedience to parents will increase
  • Faith will be developed in the youth
  • Youth will gain power to combat evil influences and temptations
OBEDIENCE
These are all great reasons to do FHE. One that can be immediately measured is the obedience to parents. We really noticed this with Brayden when he was young. When he was a baby, we weren't great at having it. It wasn't until Kaitlyn was a baby and he was two that we really started doing this consistently. We saw a marked difference in Brayden's obedience.

Because of that experience, whenever I hear parents concerned about obedience with their children, I tell them to do FHE. So here I am telling you! And the other promises are just as great as the obedience. 

NOT EASY
So the idea is picturesque and all, but let me just warn you, this isn't easy. It isn't like your children happily trot over to the couch each Monday night with excitement in their eyes and then sit still and listen eagerly to what is taught. 

My husband and I often look at each other after we are done and just wonder what is the point? Did anyone get anything out of that lesson? A few years ago, David A. Bednar shared this at our church's General Conference:

"Sometimes Sister Bednar and I wondered if our efforts to do these spiritually essential things were worthwhile. Now and then the verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as 'He's touching me!' 'Make him stop looking at me!' 'Mom, he's breathing my air!' Sincere prayers occasionally were interrupted with giggling and poking. And with active, rambunctious boys, family home evening lessons did not always produce high levels of edification. At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected."

That is so true!

He goes on to point out that his sons (now grown) don't remember specific lessons--the lessons were not life changing, defining moments. What the remember is the consistency. He then compares these things we do as parents to creating a beautiful painting. Each prayer, scripture study, and family home evening is one brush stroke and "...our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results."

Another recent quote I love is from Jeffrey R. Holland. He said,

"So if you are trying to do the best you can--if, for example, you keep trying to hold family home evening in spite of the bedlam that sometimes reigns in a household of little bedlamites--then give yourself high marks..."

HA!

So no, it isn't a walk in the park. Know that now. But it is worth it.

And there have been times I have KNOWN my child was not listening during a lesson, but later talks about that lesson and knows what was shared. So even though they seem like they aren't internalizing, they might be.

THE HOW
It is quite simple.
  1. Choose one night of the week. Have it this night every week.
  2. Be consistent. This is like working out--consistency is what brings results. But if you miss a week, don't through it all out the window and assume there will be no benefit.
  3. Our night looks like this: Song, prayer, family business, lesson, activity, treat, closing prayer. Not every night is the exact same--some nights we don't have an activity. Some nights it is all activity.
    1. Note on family business--we each take a turn and share what we have going on for the week. I love this! I love having everyone know what the plans are for the week.
    2. Note on taking turns--we each take a turn doing each thing. So one week, Brayden is on prayer, the next he leads the song, the next he gives the lesson, the next he chooses the activity, etc. We each have a turn for each thing and all rotate.
    3. When it is 
    4. Activities can be a variety of things. You can go for a walk, play a game, do service, go through emergency preparedness things, watch a movie, etc. The idea is to have fun as a family.

CONCLUSION
There you have it! You should give it a try! It is a great way to have scheduled time as a family where you talk about moral standards and get some good quality family time in. You also have the bonus of organizing your week. And of course, being able to refer to your children as bedlamites every so often. It is all a win-win ;)