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Moving Cross Country: A Babywise Success Story

I've admitted it before, I was a Babywise quitter.  I read about the main ideas when my son was a newborn and started to implement them.  Then I read more online about what a terrible system Babywise was and quit.  Fortunately a few months later I actually read the book and learned so much.  Then we had our twins and I knew Babywise was where it was at.  I've shared that story with Valerie before, and now here we are a year later.  My son is now almost 4 and my twin daughters are almost 18 months old.

Moving Cross Country: A Babywise Success Story


This past year has had some big changes for our family.  The biggest was that we moved!  Not just moved,  we moved 1700 miles away to a place I had never been before.  My husband got a new job and we decided to go for it.  One big catch though.  He had to leave right away to start it, and I was staying behind to pack up our lives.  With three kids under three I should add.

This was a big job, and I'm not going to lie and say I did it completely on my own or without any meltdowns.  But having a schedule to work with made the whole thing so much easier.  To start out with packing with littles is tough.  My daughters were six months old, so they couldn't get into too much trouble, but my son needed to run about and play.  With set independent play times, nap times, and bed times I was able to have dedicated packing time without the kids to worry about.

My girls were only six months old and still nursing during this whole endeavor.  We already had a solid nursing schedule in place, which just made things easier.  I was used to taking time out of the day and planning around this time.  Nursing time was more than just a time to give my girls nutrients, we were able to snuggle and be close to each other.  It was also a time I could sit and talk with Ben.  Basically this time was a chance for us all to sit together, letting me really focus on just my kids.  In the middle of the chaos, we could all have a time of calm.
Moving Cross Country: A Babywise Success Story

Knowing how our day was going to play out meant we could still get out and have fun!  This was so needed.  Kids can feel the stress of moving and packing, even if they aren't doing a lot of the work themselves.  Plus I really wanted to give Ben a chance to say goodbye to some of our favorite places.  With nursing and nap times set we could get out and do all the lasts we wanted to do.  I know this helped Ben out emotionally, as he had the chance to get some closure instead of just never going back some places again.

Once we were packed up and on the road the routine worked for us again.  The girls stopping times for nursing worked out perfectly for the rest of us to stop and stretch our legs.  We had to spend two nights in a hotel during the actual drive, a first for my kids.  I admit I was a bit worried they wouldn't settle down and sleep, meaning I wouldn't sleep.  Not the case.  We did our usual bedtime routine, just in a different place, and the kids were able to settle right down.  Driving all day was so much easier since I was rested as well.

Getting to our new town wasn't the end of our adventure.  We stayed with family for about three weeks before moving into our new place.  All three kids shared a room.  And you know what?  All three slept.  Having a solid bedtime routine means we can do our bedtime anywhere and the kids know it is time to rest their bodies.  We were able to move into our new home and the kids settled in to their new rooms with no problems.

Babywise helped give me the ability to provide structure for my kids in a very chaotic time.  Consistent nap and meal times meant everyone was fed and rested.  That alone makes it easier to handle stress.  My children also knew that their needs would be met.  While they might not consciously realize this, it does provide reassurance.  Having this structure in our days also helped me prioritize what needed to be done when.  Moving isn't easy on anyone, but having a structure in place that we could take with us anywhere made it go pretty smoothly.
 

Kim is the mom of three- a 3 year old son and 17 month old twin daughters. She blogs at Team-Cartwright.com and you can follow her on Facebook and Pinterest.

Moving Tips

We have moved a few times in Brayden's lifetime. The first was when he was two weeks old. The next was when he was one year old. The last was when he was four years old. My friend, Kelli, also moved in the last few months. Here are our tips for making the move easier on yourself and the family. Please be sure to comment with your own tips if you have them!

DOWNSIZING
  • Plan Ahead. Know how much space you will have. We called ahead for actual room sizes, then taped off our rooms to get the dimensions of the space we would be moving into to make sure we could actually fit what we were bringing. (by Kelli)
  • Less Is Better. I would suggest bringing only what you think you absolutely need. Then eliminate 10% more. (by Kelli)
  • Sell What You Can. It costs so much to store furniture these days, that it is worth it to sell off unused furniture that you can part with. Local online classifieds like craigslist.com is good for this. (by Kelli)
  • Share Storage. We ended up getting a local storage locker to store a washer and dryer. The cheapest place we could find was $35 a month. We later found friends here who had extra room in there storage space. We now pay them $10 a month for a portion of theirs. It is a good arrangement all around. (by Kelli)
  • De-Junk: View the move as an opportunity to "de-junk" your stuff. We often hang on to things that we really will never use. I like to throw stuff away (or set aside for good will) as I pack. I also get rid of stuff as I unpack. Don't get rid of things you might need in the new place (that is just a waste of money!), but take advantage of this organizing opportunity. (by Val)

PACKING (by Val)

  • Start Early. I personally like to start packing quite early. Even when I was in college and moving a car full of stuff, I started a month early. I know that is a bit extreme...start early enough that you can really organize things as you go.
  • Organize By Room: When you are packing your boxes, group items by room. Do it by rooms the items will go in at the new house, not where they are in the current house. Why? It makes unpacking so much easier.
  • Label: Label your boxes according to room. You can just write which room it goes in. Some readers have said they assigned a color to each room and put a colored index card on each box. Do what works for you. I labeled which room it went in as well as what was in the box. Label all sides of the box. I put the room it went in on top and each side. I then put more details on the top or sides.
  • Pack a Suitcase: Pack a suitcase (or whatever) for each member of the family as though you were going on vacation for a few days. A vacation in a tent :). Pack as though there will be no amenities (but you will have electricity). Include toiletries, clothes, pillows, toys, books for bedtime, etc.
  • Pack Important Items Together: Something I did was pack bedding for each bed in a box together, then I marked it in a very noticeable way. I knew we would need all of that for that night. Make it so noticeable that you can find it in a sea of boxes.
  • Pack Monitors In Purse: or somewhere else you can't lose it. Our first night in our new house, I easily found Kaitlyn's monitor and Brayden's monitor. I could not, however, find McKenna's monitor anywhere! I had just packed them a few hours before. Her monitors were some of the very last things I packed. I didn't find them for days. Luckily, I just used Brayden's for her. He is old enough to be able to come to us if there is a problem. If I had to do it over again, I would put the monitors in my purse and keep in on my person.
  • Pack Yourself: When we moved when Brayden was one, my husband's company paid for a moving company to pack and move us. While it was nice to have them do all the packing, and they packed everything in one day, it was really a pain to unpack. I don't think it was worth it for me. I prefer packing my things in logical (logical to me) groupings. Movers are just putting everything in boxes as fast as they can. No worries to them if the kitchen spoons are mixed in with the toilet paper. I am sure there are people out there who prefer movers. Decide what will work best for you and do that.
  • Get Free Boxes: Most grocery stores or fast food chains will give you their boxes for free. We got all of our boxes from our local Wendy's. Their boxes were very sturdy and strong.
  • Send the Children Away: If you can, have the kids visit grandma or a friend so you can get some packing done without them distracting. But do let them help with their own rooms.

PREPPING CHILDREN (by Val)

  • Talk About The Move: Tell your children you are moving. Talk about what you will take and what you won't take. At first, Brayden thought we were going to leave all of our stuff in the old house (even his toys). He was surprisingly fine with that, but very excited to learn he could take his toys with him.
  • Read Books: It might be helpful to read books about moving to your child.
  • Let Them Help: Let your children help pack, especially their own stuff.
  • Visit the New House/Look at Pictures: Since we didn't move far, we were able to visit our new house often. We would go there and show them around the house and show them their new rooms. If you can't do that, try to get pictures of the new house to show your children.
  • Have Open Communication: Talk with your children about the things and people they will miss. Tell them what will be different. Tell them what will be good. Ask what they like about the new house. Give them something positive to look forward to, but don't dismiss feelings of loss for leaving the old house.
  • Walk Through the Empty House: After a few days in our new house, Kaitlyn (2) started requesting we "go home." I decided she needed to see the old house so she could feel some closure. We went over and visited it all empty. We looked in every room and saw that it wasn't our home anymore. After that, she was totally fine with the new house. If you are moving far away, I highly recommend you do a walk through with your children before you leave your house.

TRAVEL

  • Plan Ahead: We had friends who did not book hotels and plan stops in advance, and ended up spending at least one night in a car. (by Kelli)
  • Make an Itinerary: After we mapped a route and booked hotels, we printed off an itinerary for both vehicles with local maps and information as well as contact info for truck return and landlord arrangements when we arrived. (by Kelli)
  • Bring Help: My husband drove the moving truck, and my mom did most of the driving in our car so I could devote my energies to entertaining our two boys. We would not have made it without her. (by Kelli)
  • Fly if Needed: I had a friend who flew to their new home with her 14 month old while her husband drove the moving van. The flight was much shorter and easier on her baby. (by Val)

POST-MOVE (by Val)
  • Unpack Fast: Unpack your children's things quickly. When Kaitlyn started asking to go home, I thought about things from her perspective. Most of her toys were boxed up and she was living in a new house full of boxes. How fun is that for a two year old? Brayden (4) was fine with things being unsettled, but he has always been very flexible with change like that. I know it is a big job (believe me). I also know that a room like the kitchen is very important to get done quickly. But be sure to put the kids' rooms high on the priority list.
  • Send the Children Away: One option is to have the kids visit grandma or a friend for a day or two so you can really focus on packing and get things as settled as possible before they come to their new house.
  • Maintain Routine: Try your best to keep the routine the same for your children. Everything around them has been uprooted. Maintaining your routine will help them have something familiar to hold to.
  • Have Patience: Over the course of Kaitlyn's life, she has literally never protested independent playtime. Our first day in our new house, she did independent play just fine. Day two...she cried. I had her come out of independent play and didn't try again for a week. I wanted to be sure she was emotionally secure before trying it again. I used her extra time with me as an opportunity to finally hit potty training again (I had stopped when McKenna was born since she was not able to pull her pants down by herself at the time). We reintroduced it slowly, and she now does it as usual.

There are our tips. Please share your tips! I am sure there are many great ones out there.

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Baby Summary: Week 26

Things are still going really well. We moved this week and McKenna didn't seem to bat an eye. Here is a summary of our week.

NURSING
Everything remains the same. You may wonder why I say that every week :). I do it to show and assure you that milk supply is fine and she is growing fine. We are having no issues, and since "you will lose milk supply" is a common claim of the anti-babywise folks, I like to continue to point out that everything is fine.

Not only is everything fine, but everything is fine amid the stress of moving, packing, unpacking, me forgetting to eat...everything is still going well. But now that we are more settled, I am making sure to focus on eating right and drinking what I should.

NIGHTTIME SLEEP
She still slept the same. I had to wake her each morning and she slept through the night just fine. This was nice because I fully expected to have some nights of disruption due to the move (and that is totally normal), but she seems to be quite adaptable.

SOLIDS
This week, I introduced McKenna to green beans and pears. She liked both. She seems to have a special delight in pears, and who can blame her! They taste like candy when they are ripe, and'tis the season for ripe pears! I know I posted this over the weekend, but if you didn't see it, now is the time to make pears! Pears will last for one year in your freezer, so no matter the age of your baby (or unborn baby) right now, so long as your baby will reach the age of solids before one year from now, you can use them!

ROLLING
We didn't have any disruptions to sleep this week due to rolling.

DREAMFEED
We still have the dreamfeed, but we are feeding at 10:15 and moving it back. I have to wake her for it. I wanted to wait two weeks after starting the four hour schedule before dropping it fully, and I also wanted to wait a week or two after moving. Her six month appointment will be soon, along with vaccinations, so I am deciding if I should try to have it dropped before then, or if I should wait to have it fully dropped until after then. I am pondering over that right now. Either way, we are on our way.

FOUR HOUR SCHEDULE
She is still doing well with the four hour schedule. It has been nice to have long chunks of time to pack and unpack.

MOVING
I plan to do a moving tips post, but I will discuss some of our moving experience here. McKenna did really well with the move. The first day, she did cry for a couple of seconds (literally) when I put her in her bed, but other than that she was fine.

While we were moving and remodeling, she spent a lot of time at my parent's house. She didn't like sleeping there at first. She cried before naps. But she soon got used to it. Prior to this experience, she really didn't sleep anywhere other than her crib in her room. During the experience, she slept at my parent's in their crib and in their closet. She also slept in my neighbor's closet. So she got used to sleeping all over the place. I want to be sure to keep up moving her around to sleep so she maintains her flexibility.

OUR SCHEDULE

8:00 AM--wake, nurse, eat 2-3 T prunes and 1 T peaches mixed with 3 T oatmeal (3 T dry before mixed with water).
9:00-9:10 AM--nap
12:00 PM--wake, nurse, eat about 4 T green veggie and 4-8 T banana (she will eat an entire banana. She loves them).
1:15-1:30 PM--nap
4:00 PM--wake, nurse, eat about 4 T yellow veggie and 4 T pears. I then offer 2 T oatmeal and let her eat until full. She usually doesn't eat much oatmeal, but I offer it to see if she is still hungry.
6:00 PM--(sometimes she is tired between 5:30 and 6:00, in which case I put her down) nap
8:00 PM--wake, nurse, change into PJs, story, bed
10:15 PM--dreamfeed

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