Close
Any links to Amazon are affiliate links. '
Showing posts with label PDF. Show all posts

BFBN Week: Parent Directed Feedings: How I Fed My Drug Exposed Infants



It is BFBN week again! We are talking about feeding children. This week, you will hear from:

Today, Elaine from http://www.faithfullyinfertile.com/ is posting on her experiences on feeding her adopted children the Babywise way. Elaine has very unique experience in feeding her three children on PDF. She writes:

What I want to talk about today is how to do Babywise with a baby affected by drug exposure in the womb. All three of my children are adopted and all three were exposed to drugs in the womb. All three have been affected by the drugs (different drugs for each child) in different ways. All three have greatly benefited from Parent Directed Feedings.

Elaine goes into 5 things she learned doing PDF with her three children. She has great advice and has worked so hard and tirelessly with her three babies to provide the stability they needed in life. I have to say if Elaine can do it with her three, anyone who wants to can do it.

Elaine's advice is excellent for establishing PDF no matter if your baby was born perfectly healthy or with drug addictions as her's were. Her post brings great hope and shows you that hard work does pay off. Go check it out!

Related Posts on My Blog:
No comments
Labels: ,

Parent Directed Feeding {PDF}



PDF feeding a basic point to understand when following On Becoming Babywise. So what exactly is PDF?

PDF is an acronym for Parent Directed Feeding. As Babywise puts it, "PDF is the center point between hyperscheduling on one extreme and attachment parenting at the other" (page 36).

Hyperscheduling is a feeding philosophy that basically says, "you will feed your baby every three hours." That is it. No caveats. No, "unless...." Just every three hours (or whatever time table has been set). This is done no matter what other cues are present. The clock rules the feeding schedule.

This is what many people erroneously believe Babywise to be. Babywise is not hyperscheduling. It is PDF.

Attachment Parenting is more than would fit on one post, but so far as feeding goes, you basically offer baby the breast every time baby cries, even if it has been only 10 minutes since baby finished eating. Time is of no consequence. Many attachment parents will say that they know baby isn't really eating much if it has been 10 minutes since he just ate. That isn't really the point of them offering the breast.

Back to PDF. PDF is the center point between the two. That means if falls in the middle. With PDF, parents consider both the cries of the baby and clock. That means sometimes, you will be feeding baby sooner than the "clock" says it is time. That also means you will sometimes be feeding your baby before she cries to be fed. Parents are to "use parental assessment to decide when to feed based on actual need" (page 37).

Page 39 reveals the simple equation for the PDF parent:

Hunger Cue + Clock + Parental Assessment = Feeding Time

So what does that mean in non-mathematical terms?

Parental Assessment is you. You are the parent. You analyze the situation and make an intelligent decision based on what you see and what you know. You factor in many variables. You know what? Sometimes you will be wrong. Sometimes you will think, "My baby is hungry." And when you try to feed her, she will refuse to eat. You will take that and apply it to your experience base and try to remember that the way she was acting does not mean that she is hungry. Sometimes you will think, "She isn't hungry. She is tried." And after you spend 15 minutes trying to get her back to sleep, you will come to realize she probably is hungry, so you will feed her and she will eat a full meal.

So parental assessment doesn't mean "without mistakes." You are human. You will mess up sometimes. Take it as added experience. As you get to know your individual baby better, you will get it right more often. Just correct your mistake, learn from it, and move on.

The clock is an amount of time. For a normal weight, healthy newborn, you will know she will need to eat about every 2.5-3 hours. You keep track of when she is eating and factor that in while you are making your parental assessment.

There is also the factor of hunger cues. Is she acting hungry or not? These cues include crying, waking up, and rooting. Your baby might have other cues, also.

Sometimes, you will be feeding baby sooner than the normal 2.5-3 hours. That is fine. That is 100% normal--especially during growth spurts. Sometimes you will be waking your baby up at 3 hours to eat. Again, normal for some babies. Sleepy babies might not signal for food. McKenna didn't for a long time. Other times, you will attempt to wake your baby up at 3 hours and she will refuse to wake up. Try not to stress out about it. Give her another 30 minutes and try again.

As you are assessing, keep in mind "When hunger cue is present, the clock is submissive to the cue, because the hunger cues, not the clock, determine feedings" (page 40).

RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS:


9 comments
Labels: , , , , ,

Book Review: The Nursing Mother's Companion

During my pregnancy with McKenna, my insurance company sent me The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins. I didn't really think it would come in handy for me to be perfectly honest. I had, after all, already nursed two children successfully for one year each. I had spent two of the last 3.5 years nursing a child. While that doesn't make me an expert, I thought I would have little need for a book dedicated to nursing. I didn't have one while nursing my other two and made it just fine.

Well, I have found it to be helpful and informative. Yes, there is a lot in it that I don't have need of (discussion of how to latch and different positions to hold), but I have found a lot of helpful information. It is very complete, which isn't surprising since the entire book is dedicated to nursing.

Here are some of the sections found in this book:

  • Preparing for breastfeeding
  • Ensuring milk supply
  • Survival guides by week and later month
  • Caring for breasts
  • Breastfeeding difficulties
  • Concerns about baby in various age groups
  • Nursing adopted babies
  • Relactation
  • Nursing with thyroid issues (and other special circumstances)
  • Nursing premature babies
  • Nursing multiples
  • Nursing babies with physical defects or neurological problems
  • Nutritional needs
  • Herbal supplements
  • Nursing with illnesses and medications
  • Breast infections
  • Reflux, colic, etc.
  • Pumping and storing milk
  • Biting
  • Weaning
  • Nursing toddlers
  • Nursing during pregnancy
  • Tandem nursing
  • Resource list for nursing mothers
  • Charts for determining milk needs for babies birth to 6 weeks
While I have found this to be a helpful book, take note that it is a nursing book. As you might expect, it is not a book that is positive about schedules. In fact, she has a section where she addresses Parent Directed Feedings, though she never says "Babywise." She said, "...the program teaches parents to feed babies on a rigid three to four-hour schedule and to eliminate nighttime feedings at an early age. The purpose is to relieve parental anxiety and instill a sense of order and discipline in the infant...these practices are often associated with low milk production, poor weight gain in the baby, and early weaning. Some babies subjected to this method have become dangerously thin and dehydrated" (pages 126-127).
Perhaps there are other "Parent Directed Feeding" books out there? If not, then she is referring directly to Babywise, and just plain wrong. I actually read this section first as I flipped through the book. It irritated me so much that I put the book down. I didn't want to bother with it. If she was that wrong about PDF, then how could I trust other things she said? However, I have found helpful information in the book.
I want to address some of her points. First, PDF is not "rigid." I feel like going through Babywise and counting the number of times it says to feed baby when baby is hungry no matter how long it has been. It says that a lot. That is not rigid. Also, it is not a four hour routine for a newborn. It is 2.5-3 hours.
Another point is that the parent doesn't eliminate the nighttime feeding at an early age. The infant does. If the infant doesn't do it on her own, the parent will help eliminate it if the parent feels the child does not actually need the nighttime feeding anymore. This does not typically happen until the child is close to three months old.
The purpose of PDF is NOT "to relieve parental anxiety and instill a sense of order and discipline in the infant," but rather to stabilize metabolism so the baby can eat at regular intervals and sleep at regular intervals. Baby also then takes in full feedings each time she eats, getting plenty of hind milk if she is breastfeeding. Baby is then able to take a full nap, which helps brain synapses to form and helps baby to grow well. Baby is well rested and able to make the most of her waketime. PDF is for the benefit of the baby. It also helps the rest of the family to add baby to the family, not revolve life around the family. Some parents might be fine revolving life around one child, but what do you do when you have more than one? Something has to give.
As far as "low milk production, poor weight gain in the baby, and early weaning," all I can say is that I have never had a problem with any of those things. I have an entire post refuting this sentiment (see "related posts" section below).
Okay, now that I am done with my soapbox, despite the anti-PDF sentiment (it is only a few paragraphs), this book does have its helpful points and I find it valuable as a reference book.



 RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS:
22 comments
Labels: , , ,

"Mom, not baby, decides..."

How to apply the Babywise principle of Mom, Not Baby, Decides.
Mom, not baby decides. How to apply this Babywise principle. 

I have had a question on the idea of "mom, not baby, decides...". In an email Anne-Marie Ezzo sent to me a few months ago, she mentioned that idea and pointed out that is true for all parenting philosophies. The mom (or parent or caregiver) is always deciding when the nap will end or start. The philosophies really differ in cues followed and whether or not a schedule is enforced. The mom who gets baby as soon as she makes a peep is deciding when to get the baby up, she has just decided to follow that cue. The mom who lets her newborn sleep 4 straight hours during the daytime, not wanting to wake a sleeping baby, has decided the nap won't end until baby wakes himself up. Mom always decides.

Sure. But what does that phrase mean in the context of Babywise? Well, it means much of the same. But be sure YOU decide and not let the CLOCK decide. I think parents who follow a schedule can easily fall into the trap of becoming slaves to the clock. Always keep in mind that Babywise is Parent Directed Feeding, not clock directed.

This parent directed idea can and should be applied to all ages of your child. YOU decide whether or not your toddler can have some candy, not the presence or absence of a TANTRUM. Getting this "you" deciding practice down early will make future struggles easier for you.

I can understand parents, especially first time parents, wanting some sort of outline and case-by-case scenario that tells them "if X, then Y." Yes, that would make parenting easier. It would be more like raising a tree than a human. Now, the steps to raising a tree do vary by the species of the tree as well as your climate, but at that point you can get pretty solid advice on what to do if X happens to your tree. You can tell a problem you see with your tree, ask your neighbor who has lived there for the last 50 years and he can tell you pretty definitely what to do to fix the problem. He doesn't need to know much more.

Children have environmental factors, just like trees. But they have so much more. They have personalities and tendencies. They have desires and yearnings. And most difficult for the parent, they have agency. They can choose how to act and react! This is a great gift, though many times we wish we could strip our children of their agency. When you add to the mix the parents, things get even more complicated. Parents have personalities and tendencies. They have desires and yearnings. They have agency. Then they have a schema of the world. A parent has been affected by his life experiences: childhood, friendships, schooling, successes, failures, etc.

You can easily see why there can be no "If X, then Y" equation for your children. A book couldn't possibly be long enough to cover it all. My posts on this blog alone cover over 300 single spaced, typed pages so far. Then you have the hundreds of pages of questions/answers. All of that is in addition to what is already written in the Babywise books.

This is why "Mom, not baby, decides..." is such a valuable concept for mom. Mom is smart. Yes, you make mistakes. Yes, you have to learn things, and sometimes the hard way, but you are still smart. You can take in all of the factors. You combine these variables and analyze them. You then work to problem solve.

Let's say baby usually goes down for a nap at 9:30 AM. But then baby starts showing her usual sleep cues at 9:15. What do you do? If you were the "if X then Y" mom, you would for sure keep her up until 9:30. If baby really needed to go down at 9:15, then baby would wake up early from the nap and you would be left looking for the next "Y" to solve the current "X." But this "X" could have been avoided. For the PDF mom, she thinks. Did baby wake up early this morning? Did baby have a rough night? Is baby teething or sick? Did baby go to bed early last night? Did baby miss a nap yesterday? Or simply, was that really the sleep cue? You decide to put her down right away. She sleeps her normal nap length, though she does wake up 15 minutes earlier than usual since she went down early. No big deal. That is better than an hour and 15 minutes earlier.

So mom decides. Mom looks at the variables and decides what to do. She isn't governed by outside forces, but rather cues, knowledge, and experience. Does that mean mom is perfect and gets it right every time? No. We all make mistakes. We misjudge. We then chalk that up to our experience list and move forward.

"Mom, not baby, decides" works well because mom is better able to analyze the situation than baby. Mom has more experience and more intelligence. Mom can see the big picture. Mom has better goals in mind. Toddler doesn't get candy because eating a full, nutritious dinner is important to the health and happiness of Toddler, and dinner is 30 minutes away. Candy can be considered after dinner, perhaps as dessert. Newborn Baby wants to go right to sleep after eating, but mom knows having some waketime will actually help him to nap better and longer. That will ensure he stays on his feeding schedule better. So mom works and works to keep newborn baby up for some playtime. It is exhausting for mom and baby, but mom looks past the moment and toward higher goals in the future. Mom doesn't give in to the tantrum because she knows that will make future tantrums better. She also knows child needs to learn to experience disappointments. Child needs to know that a fit isn't going to get him what he wants. She knows that giving in to the fit now will only make future behavior worse, not only tantrums.

So keep deciding. Of course as your child grows, he earns freedoms. But that is you decided if and when to allow freedoms. It is you watching the use of those freedoms and making sure he really can handle the privilege and opportunity.
How to apply the Babywise principle of Mom, Not Baby, Decides.

Related Posts:
Reader Thank-Yous/Comments:
  • Cameron Clark said...
    Yippie! This should be added to BW book. I think most people that read BW in the medical community take it at face value and love to bash it. If you can use common sense when applying BW techniques, you'll win. Problem is, we're sleep deprived parents with no experience trying to do the best for our baby -- bless our hearts. No one said it would be easy, eh? Mistakes will be made doing anything worth our efforts. We are not perfect and shouldn't read BW as the letter of the law. Right now I'm going to wake up Owen from his nap... Why? Because I know what is best.
    April 30, 2008 2:08 PM
  • Jennifer Brewer said...
    Thanks! Always refreshing to that making the decision as Mom...is the right decision.
    May 1, 2008 7:11 AM
  • Plowmanators said...
    Thanks for all the thanks. I am happy to try to help clarify any confusion that goes along with that theory.
    May 1, 2008 8:53 PM
  • atara said...
    This is so empowering to me as a first time Mom. Thank you! I currently working on getting the first feed of the day at 6:00am, but it's not a deal breaker if it happens 30 minutes before or after.
    November 15, 2008 4:35 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    You are welcome!
    November 22, 2008 7:23 AM
Reader Questions:
4 comments
Labels: , , , , ,

In Action: Adjusting Schedule as Needed

source
You probably remember that a couple of weeks ago the kids and I were very, very sick. It was bad. Both of the kids lost significant weight (and I only a little, what is that about? ;). For several days, neither child would eat much of anything. Kaitlyn nursed and Brayden drank, but only water or pedialyte.

Several days after they started to feel better, they got their appetites back. They came with a vengeance! Here is where the adjusting schedule as needed comes in. Both kids ate breakfast and lunch at normal times, though they ate extra food. The evening is where they needed their adjustment. Here is the normal schedule for us:

3:30--Kalltyn gets up and nurses and then has independent playtime. She will then eat some finger foods while I make dinner. It usually isn't much, just a snack to hold her over.
4:30--Brayden gets up.
5:00 or 5:30--we eat dinner. Kaitlyn eats food with us. Again, this isn't much--it is basically so she can practice eating, be with us at dinner, and try out "adult" food.
7:00--Kaitlyn nurses and eats baby food.

When the appetite returned for the kids, they had some serious catching up to do. Kaitlyn was down to 18.1 pounds at 11 months old. She weighed more than that at 8 months old. Brayden was down to 31 pounds. Nearly a year ago, he weighed 30.5 pounds. So that gives you an idea how much weight they lost.

Brayden would eat dinner at 5:00/5:30. He would eat a HUGE dinner. He ate about as much as I did. Then, like clockwork, at 7 PM he announced he wanted dinner. The first night he did that, I instinctively within myself thought, "no, you have had dinner." But I quickly thought it through and realized he ate a huge dinner, doesn't ask for food usually, and was likely finally hungry and trying to get his weight back. This was not a case of him not eating dinner when it was time and wanting it later. He would then eat another HUGE dinner at 7. For you LOTR fans, I referred to it as "second dinner." This only lasted 4-5 days, but he has definitely made up for his lost weight. Currently, he is still eating more at meals than he used to, but he isn't eating two meals anymore.

Kaitlyn shifted her schedule basically by having an eating marathon. She ate a lot after independent playtime. She would have a short break between that and dinner, then would eat a lot at dinner. She would then have a short break before her official dinner and eat the normal amount for it (except one night she was too full by the time we got to the last course). Nearly a week ago, she was up to 20.5 pounds, which I was so happy about. She has more make up work to do than Brayden did. She is still eating more, though maybe not as much more.

I post this to assure you that if your child needs you to adjust the schedule for sickness (or something else), you can definitely do it. You are the parent; you always control the schedule. Remember that Babywise is Parent Directed Feeding (PDF). That means that you use your intelligence to decide what is best for your baby at the moment. So don't get discourage during sickness. Sicknesses happen, and happen a lot. Some will disrupt your schedule a lot. Others will come and go with few, if any, disruptions. Don't worry, you can always go back to normal. Remember, your schedule serves you, you don't serve your schedule.
5 comments
Labels: , , ,

Combating Babywise Myths: Go 3 hours between feedings no matter what

Combating Babywise Myths: Go 3 hours between feedings no matter what. What does On Becoming Babywise say about feeding intervals? Can you feed baby early if baby is hungry?

Combating Babywise Myths: Go 3 hours between feedings no matter what. What does On Becoming Babywise say about feeding intervals? Can you feed baby early if baby is hungry?

Story time.

When Brayden (now 2.5) was a baby, I had no help when it came to my questions about Babywise.

When Kaitlyn (now 9 months) was a newborn, I had a little help in one of my good friends who had a baby 9 months after Brayden was born. We would talk things over, but not every baby goes through every difficulty, and I wondered if there were moms out there who could help me. The Internet had become more of an interactive place, so I Googled "Babywise." I was shocked at what I found.

I found site after site with negative comments about Babywise. Every negative comment I knew to be false because it wasn't true with my children. The most frustrating part about these sites to me was that there was no way for a person to offer a differing viewpoint. I had no idea BW sparked so much controversy until I found those sites.

That is ultimately what led me to start this blog. I wanted to offer moms out there a positive resource when they searched for Babywise help.

Now I will start a series of posts combating common myths associated with Babywise. Honestly, most of these myths are easily disputed if you read the book, but I think a lot of the myth-starters either don't read the book or try to implement BW and didn't read it carefully and so ran into problems and blamed the system rather than themselves.

Read more »
7 comments
Labels: , , ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)