Cutting Chocolate when Breastfeeding

Okay. Here is the sad, hard truth. Sometimes when you are nursing a baby, you will have to cut the chocolate. I know there are people out there who say you don't have to cut things when breastfeeding a baby, but those are people who obviously have never experienced what it is like to have a baby who cannot tolerate certain foods. 

Kaitlyn had silent reflux, and for the year that I breastfed her, I could not have chocolate. Oh people! I know how hard this can be for the choco-holics out there! I know it! I love my chocolate. Chocolate pie, chocolate cake, hot chocolate, plain old chocolate...I love it all. But if I had chocolate, Kaitlyn had flare ups with her reflux. Then she was miserable. As much as I loved my chocolate, I loved my baby more and it was something I could give up for a short while. And hey, it doesn't hurt your waist line. 

There was one time when Kaitlyn was a few months old when we went to a birthday part at my in-laws. There was chocolate cake there, and in the moment, I completely forgot my chocolate restrictions. I ate it. 

Later that night, Kaitlyn was very upset. I went through the day to try to figure out what could have happened to make her so upset...oh yes. The chocolate cake! How could I have forgotten!!! After that night, I did not forget again. 

When Brinely was born and we were in the hospital, I enjoyed the second best chocolate pie I had ever had (first best is the French Silk Pie recipe from the Pioneer Woman). I know, that amazing of food in the hospital? It was true. And I could have it with any meal I wanted. And I did. I even took one home with me, which was really necessary since my husband had us booking it out of there at the 24 hour mark. 

Then I noticed something. A few hours after my indulgence, Brinley would get extremely fussy. I did some experimenting and, sure enough, found that Brinley was a no chocolate baby. Once again, I faced a year with no chocolate (and funny thing, I actually came out of this one not liking milk chocolate at all--only dark chocolate). 

There are two ingredients in chocolate that can really bother babies. One is caffeine. The other is theobromine. Theobromine, like caffeine, can cause sleeplessness, tremors, restlessness, anxiety, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, and withdrawal headaches. Both can affect the central nervous system.

Not all babies will be bothered by chocolate. I had two babies who did not have any negative issues when I ate away at my chocolate. But if you have a fussy newborn, consider the possibility of chocolate. Cut it for a few days and see if things improve. If so, cut it out entirely and explore the other flavors of desserts in the world :) 

Fussy Newborns and Mom's Diet

I hold a special place in my heart for chocolate. Very special. And never has chocolate been more special to me than since I became a mother. Imagine my sadness when my little Kaitlyn (now 7) was born with reflux. Caffeine can really aggravate reflux, even amounts as small as chocolate, and it really caused problems for Kaitlyn if I ate it. As special as chocolate is in my heart, my kids are even more special. I survived that year of nursing without eating chocolate.

When Brinley (now 2) was born, they had the most delicious chocolate pie at the hospital. Seriously amazing. I soon noticed Brinley starting to have fussy times similar to what I remembered with Kaitlyn's chocolate aversion. I cut chocolate and she was fine. I added some back in and we had fussy times. So I once again went a year without chocolate (sidebar, interesting thing here is after Brinley, I didn't like chocolate so much. I actually don't like milk chocolate at all anymore. I do, however, like dark chocolate). 

So what is my point? 

I recently posted tips on Surviving Witching Hour. One reader commented and said to consider mom's diet if you have a fussy baby. She said she cut chocolate and her baby stopped having witching hour. She said she got the idea from one of the posts on this blog. It was such a great point from this reader I decided it needs its own post.

If your baby is fussy, consider your diet. There are a variety of foods that can cause a baby to be fussy. Some might cause your baby to have more gas, which can lead to fussiness. Some can cause your baby to spit up more, which can lead to fussiness. Some might even be foods your baby is intolerant of or allergic to. 

• Chocolate
• Coffee
• Dairy
• Soy
• Wheat
• Peanuts
• Corn
• Eggs
• Broccoli (usually raw)
• Garlic 
• Whey
• Onions (usually raw)
• Green peppers  (usually raw)
• Cabbage  (usually raw)

If you think your baby is more fussy within about 4-12 hours after you eat a certain food, you can try to eliminate it from your diet. It can take a while for the food to completely leave your system (1-2 weeks), but you should see improvement within a few days. For Brinley and chocolate, her most adverse reactions were within 3-12 hours. Then she was okay. 

Diet is definitely worth looking into if you have a fussy baby. I know it is hard--I went two years without chocolate! And I know I am not alone. I know many mothers go without a variety of foods because they cause problems in their baby. You can survive! I promise you can do it. And really, if you can't survive cutting the foods your baby needs cut, consider formula feeding. I know that isn't a popular recommendation with all people, but you have to do what is best for the whole family as a big picture. I have a friend who is a rock star who breastfed a year without eating dairy. I am not sure I could manage that (I once went two weeks when breastfeeding Kaitlyn and realized how much dairy I eat!).

Food is a wise thing to consider if you have a fussy baby on your hands. 

Wonder Weeks

As you travel among social groups on the Internet discussing parenting issues, you might come across the term "wonder week." Something I have found interesting over the years is that certain ideas are more catching to some groups than others--even among Babywise moms. Different groups online will lean more heavily on some ideas than others. Wonder Weeks is something widely discussed and mentioned in my Chronicles Google Group.

So what is a wonder week? The Wonder Weeks is a book written by Plooij and Rijt (translated by Sonderegger). Here is the info on the book:

The Wonder Weeks describes in easy-to-understand terms the incredible developmental changes and regression periods that all babies go through during the first 20 months of their lives. 

Age-related fluctuations and the need for body contact and attention are all related to major and quite dramatic changes in the brains of children. These changes enable a baby to enter a whole new perceptual world and, as a consequence, to learn many new skills. 

Wonder week by wonder week you’ll discover the dates in the first 20 months when all babies take ten major development leaps. Learn how to encourage each leap forward. Help your baby with the three Cs’ of fussy behavior: Cranky, Clingy and Crying. Recognize the on-set of stressful times and join your children in coping with them.

Based on the scientific- and parental-world-changing discovery of a phenomenon: all normal, healthy babies appear to be more fussy at very nearly the same ages, regression periods, and sleep less in these phases, The Wonder Weeks will help your baby, and you, get the most out of these developmental phases.

In other words, there are predictable times your baby will be fussy. All babies are more fussy than usual during each "developmental leap." Why is this? Because baby is learning a new skill--the world is changing for your baby. Some are more dramatic (like when baby gains depth perception). This book outlines when these changes happen, what is happening, and what you can do to help ease your baby through the transition.

I find the information incredibly helpful when my baby is fussy for "no reason." When you have a baby who is normally quite happy and content and suddenly is clingy, it can be really disconcerting! But then I go to the book, and sure enough! Developmental leap happening! Baby will snap out of it as fast as she snapped "into" it. And she will come out knowing how to do more! It is helpful because if fussiness, poor eating, and/or poor sleep are due to wonder week, you don't want to be changing up waketime lengths, dropping naps, changing how often baby eats, etc. You want to ride it out.

With Brinley and McKenna, any time they had a significant Wonder Week I included that info in their baby summary. You can see these in my posts with a label Wonder Weeks.

The argument has been made of "what about self-fulling prophecy?" In other words, when you are expecting your baby to be fussy at 19 weeks old, then won't you see fussiness? I think that is a valid consideration. However, I personally only have a few memorized. Every time one of my babies was upset and acting "off," I would consult and see yep, it is a wonder week. And the reason I have for my few memorized weeks is that those are the weeks I consistently get the most questions about. 

The books is about 20 on Amazon. The Kindle edition is about 10. And something I think is really cool that they have done is they have broken up the chapters so you can buy just one "week." So if you are on your last baby who is 15 weeks old and you don't think you want to buy the book for your last baby, then you come up on Wonder Week 19 and think "Ack! I need help!" you can spend $2 and buy the Kindle version for the chapter for that week. In't that awesome? It also means you could try a chapter before committing to the whole book.

Now here is what you have to be careful of. Sometimes growth spurts and wonder weeks line up. Sometimes a baby will be sick at the same time as a wonder week. While often a wonder week can explain behavior, you want to still think through and be sure there isn't something else going on. Sometimes you only know by trial and error. Is it a growth spurt? Try feed and see if baby is hungry. If not, you ruled it out. So use Wonder Weeks as a tool and as a comfort, but still take into account other possibilities.

Related Posts/Blog Labels:

• Wonder Week Information
• Book Suggestion: The Wonder Weeks
• Wonder Weeks blog label

Poll Results: DID YOUR CHILD (AGE 0-12 MONTHS) GET FUSSY IN THE EVENING

Results:

Yes	404 (87%)
No	61 (12%)

Votes so far: 465

RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS:

• Poll results
• fussiness

Reminder: You can leave comments on poll results posts if you would like to add to the poll after it has closed. This would be helpful for those who have more than one child, those whose children have reached certain ages after a poll closed, and those who didn't visit the blog while that poll was open. To find closed polls, click on the poll results link above

Witching Hour

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It is not uncommon for baby to be fussy during the evening hours. This evening fussiness is often between 6-10 PM. It might not last that entire time, or might last longer. This time is often referred to as the "Witching Hour." Not all babies experience the witching hour; Brayden and Kaitlyn didn't (at least, Brayden didn't once we started Babywise). McKenna, however, did.

At first, I didn't know what was going on. She had previously slept so peacefully. It hit her around two months old. She just stopped sleeping in the evenings. It was like she was a different baby. It was quite the shock.

WITCHING HOUR TIMELINE
This fussiness is supposed to start around 2-3 weeks old, peak around 6 weeks old, and end sometime between 3-4 months old. You are supposed to take into account baby's due date and not just the birth date.

McKenna didn't follow this timeline exactly. She started at 8 weeks and ended sometime between 3-4 months old.

WITCHING HOUR CAUSES
There is no real known cause of the witching hour. There are, of course, many theories. Theories include low milk supply and an immature nervous system. Both of these theories have flaws; formula fed babies can also experience the witching hour and not all babies experience the witching hour. If it was a nervous system issue, you would think all babies would get it. So the real answer is that no one knows for sure.

WITCHING HOUR FIXES
You can't make the witching hour go away, but you can minimalize the difficulty of it on you and your baby.

• Cluster feed cluster feeding (blog label)
• Put baby in a sling
• Put baby in a swing or other soothing item (like a bouncer)
• Go outside
• Massage

Do not try to fix the witching hour by supplementing with formula. Remember, formula fed babies experience this, too. If you supplement with formula you will only hurt your milk supply in the long run.

WITCHING HOUR AND BABYWISE
If your baby is experiencing the witching hour, one of your biggest worries is likely starting a bad habit. Your baby is laying in her crib crying, but you don't want to get her and reinforce crying in order to get out of bed.

Let me just tell you, don't worry about it. If your baby is sleeping well for all other naps, you are not going to ruin anything by getting her during the witching hour. You do not want to leave her in her crib during this time to just cry. Cry it out is a process to teach self-soothing; having her cry when she just can't sleep is not teaching her. It is just causing stress on the entire family.

WITCHING HOUR IN ACTION
I have discussed our witching hour process in my newborn summary posts, but I thought I would summarize it here. Anyone experiencing this doesn't want to wade through three months of newborn summary posts to get the story :)

As I said, it started when McKenna was two months old. My husband and I were out on a date and I thought that it was just her reacting to me leaving the house (she always woke up when I left the house). Four days later, she did it again. I was home this time and found it odd. I didn't know it was the witching hour at this point.

Since she just never cried (unless I left the house), I went to her room to comfort her. I tried rocking her to sleep. No luck. I tried giving her a pacifier in her bed. No luck. She stayed awake for two hours. At that point, I decided to feed her, confident she would at least fall asleep nursing. No luck. Still wide awake.

My husband took turns with me over the next two hours. Finally, it was time for the dreamfeed and I fed her again. She then peacefully went to sleep in her crib. Happily, she didn't cry that entire time--only if she was not in the company of someone. Also happily, that was the worst night of our witching hour.

Over the next week, she didn't have the witching hour every night. Some nights she did, some she didn't. I could really sense if she was having it or not. If she was, I did what it took to put her to sleep or at least keep her happy. If she wasn't, I put her to bed. Her witching hour was just after her 6 PM feeding. After the 8 PM feeding, she would sleep in her bed.
Here is a list of my personal solutions to get through the witching hour. These things didn't negatively affect her other daytime naps:

• Cluster Feeding: Previous to the witching hour, McKenna would not cluster feed. She wouldn't eat if it was sooner than three hours. Once she started witching hour, I started cluster feeding, and she started sleeping longer stretches at night.
• Errands: Our family would just go out and run errands or visit friends rather than try to put McKenna down for a nap. This was nice because we got to do things over the summer months. McKenna would just fall asleep in her carseat or in my arms for a catnap.
• Rock: Sometimes, if I could, I would rock McKenna to sleep and then put her in her bed.
• Pacifier: She liked to suck on a pacifier at this time.
• Swing: Previous to the witching hour, McKenna would not sleep in her swing. We had purchased a new swing before she was born. One day after the witching hour, I had the thought to try our old swing. It worked! She would fuss a bit in it, but she would go to sleep in it for a short nap. This was helpful since her witching hour was around bedtime for Brayden and Kaitlyn.

As time passed, the witching hour was not every day. Sometime between 3-4 months old, the witching hour ended. She now goes to sleep just fine in her bed each night.

A note, if McKenna were my only child, I wouldn't have a problem holding her for her short catnap to get her through the witching hour. Having two older (but young) children made it necessary for me to turn to something like the swing so I could still attend to my older children.

WITCHING HOUR ENCOURAGEMENT
If your baby is experiencing the witching hour, don't stress out. It will not last forever. Also, don't be afraid to comfort your baby. It does not go against Babywise to do so. Trust me on this; I communicate with the authors :) They do not advocate leaving a baby crying and helpless in bed. A baby experiencing the witching hour is not going to benefit from a cry it out session.

Do what it takes to keep baby happy during this time. Do what it takes to get baby to sleep during this time so she doesn't get overly tired and overstimulated. It will all be okay :)

RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS

• witching hour (blog label)
• sleep problems (blog label)
• cluster feeding (blog label)