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Baby Whisperer: Wake Up Disposition

In keeping with her rule of respecting baby, Tracy Hogg implores parents to be gentle, quiet, and considerate when waking baby up from naps and in the morning. I always go in and say, "Good morning [insert name or nickname here]! Did you have a nice nap/Did you sleep well last night?"

But of course no matter what you do to wake baby up, he will have his own reaction. According to Babywise, your baby should wake up happy. See this post: Waking Up Happy : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/waking-up-happy.html. Tracy Hogg says there is a disposition based on your child's personality profile for waking up. The caveat here is that Hogg doesn't give an age range for these reactions. A Babywise baby wakes up happy usually starting around 5 months of age. Here they are (found on page 139):


  • Angel baby: Smiles, coos, goos...these babies are just happy. Unless they are really hungry or sitting in a soaked-through diaper, these babies wait for you to come get them. I have found this to be true of Kaitlyn. She was really happy waking from birth. Granted if she woke up and wasn't gotten as a younger baby, she would slowly start to make noise because she was hungry. I have also found this to be true of Brayden, but only after the 5ish month age. Before that, he was more like a textbook baby (see below).
  • Textbook baby: Will wake up, make little sounds with fidgeting as though letting you know he is awake. If you don't respond to that, he will start to get louder. If you still don't respond, he will go into an all-out cry.
  • Touchy baby: Almost always wake up crying. They want to be retrieved quickly.
  • Grumpy baby: This baby also quickly moves from small fussy sounds to all-out crying. These babies don't like to be wet or hungry. Hogg says these babies simply won't give you a smile first thing in the morning.
  • Spririted baby: These babies don't give you small fussy noises when they wake. They make coughlike cries--stop--coughlike cry--stop...will escalate to wailing if you don't show up.
Related Posts:

Reader Comments:

  • Rachel Stella said...
    I can't believe it! I categorized my baby as a "spirited baby" from your previous post and looked at this post and laughed. My baby wakes up EXACTLY like a spirted baby in the mornings (usually happy for naps though). Hogg really does know what she is talking about!
    September 1, 2008 10:58 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Rachel, that is funny. She is quite knowledgeable--though there are some things I ademately disagree with (like not reading to your child until they are 6 months old--no way).
    September 5, 2008 2:35 PM

Reader Questions:

  • Sarah said...
    Hi , i just had a question...My son is currently 10 months old. He's been waking up happy since he was 5.5 months old. Recently, for the past week and a half, my son has been waking up screaming bloody murder. I follow the BW model- routine nap schedule, CIO, etc. He sleeps 11.5 hours at night straight, his naps are 1.5 hours long- however without fail when he wakes he cries his eyes out. Initially I rushed to him, because it was so unlike him, but after realizing everything was okay, I tried to let him CIO. However, that was shortlived cuz soon he's almost to the point of hyperventilating. Trying to figure out why, I've come to the conclusion it could be separation anxiety. WHen i do pick him up, it takes him awhile to calm down, and if i put him down within the first 20 minutes, he'll bawl and bawl until i pick him back up. What should i do in this situation?
    September 2, 2008 10:07 AM
    Sarah said...
    oh i forgot to mention, he's a very happy baby except when i take something away from him =)
    September 2, 2008 10:09 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Sarah, are you sure there is no teething or something? This is strange. Do you do independent play? If so, is he okay for that? If not, it might help him to learn to entertain himself when he needs to.As for what to do right when he wakes up, with what you described I think I would just get him.
    September 5, 2008 2:46 PM
  • The Traveling Turtle said...
    This is the perfect post for my question of the day! And it is actually similar to Sarah's above. My 6 month old daughter is a BW baby and has been waking up very happy (babbling and playing for about 10 minutes or so before we go get her up for good). This all stopped, except for her morning wake up, this past week. Now most of the time when she wakes from her naps she is crying. I don't know why. I have some reasons that MAY be answers but am not sure if I am just grasping here. She stays with a sitter for 3 days a week and her grandmother (at our house) the other 2. I think the sitter gets her up after an hour or so if she wakes and doesnt let her CIO as long as she needs to if she woke earlier than normal. Even though I have asked her to do so on numerous occasions. I ask her to let her CIO for at least 25 minutes, knowing that around 20 she will be asleep. Since we had the long weekend this past week I could really watch her new habits. She is only sleeping for about an hour of her first 2 hour nap. then she will wake and talk for a while. The sitter would get her up then thinking the nap was over but my baby would be whiney and fussy until her next nap. she is usually a very happy and good baby so I know she didn't get enough rest if she does that. Her schedule WAS 2 two hour naps (one in the morning and one in the afternoon) with a 1 hour nap in the late afternoon before dinner. And she was fine with that. She did really well actually. Then it all went downhill. Now we let her play in the crib when she wakes up early and then let her CIO when she realizes we are not coming in to get her. Then she will cry for about 20 minutes. Maybe 25. And cry very hard. But she will go back to sleep after that. I don't know if the fact that she can now see over her bumper plays into anything. We recently lowered her matress all the way down b/c she is pulling up. So she can see over the bumper and tell that we are not in the room when she wakes. Could that be the problem and should I let her cry for a while even though the nap is over? I think she may be dealing with a little bit of seperation anxiety to be honest with you b/c now I am not able to be out of her sight when she plays in her room. That was not an issue a month or so ago. Advice please. :)
    September 2, 2008 10:48 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Traveling Turtle, There could be a lot of things at play here. Separation Anxiety could be one of them. If that is the case, be sure she is getting good time in with you each day. She should calm down with that as she gets used to the new schedule. 6 months is a growth spurt time, also, so if she hasn't had one yet, consider that as a possibility. See also:5-8 Month Sleep Disruptions : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/6-month-sleep-disruptions.html
    September 7, 2008 8:30 PM
    The Traveling Turtle said...
    One more addition to my comment earlier. I have been watching my daughter closely for a full week now (and reading her logs when she is at the sitter's during the day). She sleeps very well from 7P-7A every day. I am so thankful for that. She USED to take the 2 two hour naps with one 45-60 minute cat nap for her 4:00 nap, waking around 5:00 before her 6:30 feeding. That was great with me and seemed to be going well. Then one day she realized she could pull up in her crib and play with stuff. After that we 1)lowerd her mattress for safety reasons and 2) removed her mobile since she was playing with it in her crib during nap time. So she will go to nap time at the same times she used to, but now she wakes after an hour or so. We leave her in there to play in her crib hoping she will go back to sleep after a while. sometimes she plays for like 30-45 minutes and then will finally drift off for another 30 minutes or so. I don't know how to take it. I have read the blogs you suggested, but am wondering if it could just be her new abilities that keep her from going back to sleep. she has always been VERY aware of her surroundings and likes to really take things in. I think that is great - but am wondering if that could be the napping problem here? We have decided to let her stay in her crib and play when she wakes up and hope that one day soon she will just adjust back to her normal routine. She is about 6 1/2 months old now and has been doing this nap thing for about 2-3 weeks now. Any suggestions would be great! Thanks as always for such a wonderful blog! Thank goodness this is out here!
    September 8, 2008 6:27 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    All of my adivice for that would be in this post: Nap Disruptions: Rolling, Standing, Crawling, etc: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/nap-disruptions-rolling-standing.html It sounds like she is just fine since she goes back to sleep. If she is waking because of standing in the crib, then it most likely won't last too long. It should wear off as the novelty of the skill wears off.
    September 12, 2008 11:18 AM
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Poll Results: At what age did baby start to consistently wake up happy from naps?

Results:

3-4 months: 50 votes (42%)
4-5 months: 22 votes (18%)
5-6 months: 20 votes (16%)
6-7 months: 10 votes (8%)
7-8 months: 6 votes (5%)
8-9 months: 4 votes (3%)
9-12 months: 2 votes (1%)
12 months or older: 4 votes (3%)

Total of 118 votes
9 comments
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Waking Up Happy

Babywise says that your child should start to wake up happy around 4-6 months (see pages 133 and 134). That is the time the wake-up disposition is usually developed. There are a few rules to follow to ensure that your baby will wake up happy.
  • Mom, not baby, decides when nap will start
  • Mom, not baby, decides when nap will end
  • If baby wakes up cranky, he didn't have a good enough nap
Before you read any further, be sure you understand the concept of "Mom, not baby, decides...". Here is the link to that post: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/mom-not-baby-decides.html

Once you understand the concept of "Mom, not baby, decides..." it should be more clear as to why that is so vital for your baby's wake up disposition. This doesn't mean you say, "I know you aren't tired right now, but you are going to bed because I decided." It means that you analyze the factors to ensure your child is getting enough sleep. You say, "Hmm...you aren't tired right now even though you usually are. Maybe you are ready to extend waketime length?"

In order to "decide" as accurately as possible, you need some things. You need to know your child. I have written a post titled: Get To Know Your Child's Personality: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/get-to-know-your-childs-personality.html.

When you know your child, you know the sleep cues (Nap Cues : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/nap-cues.html), or you no there are no sleep cues and that you need to watch the clock. You also know your child's sleep needs. Does he sleep more than average? Less than average? You also know how he feels about sleep. My son doesn't particularly like to sleep. My daughter loves it, though. So if she cries after I put her down, I know something is really wrong. When you know your child, you know how disruptions affect him. You know how extra stimulation affects him. You know whether it is no big deal or if he needs to go down a bit early.

You also need to know your child's patterns. Having a consistent schedule makes this job much easier. Getting a Consistent Schedule: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/getting-consistent-schedule.html. If you have a hard time hitting things right, keep a log: Problem Solving Tip: Detailed Log : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/problem-solving-tip-detailed-log.html.

You also need to know how long the nap should last. Then, if the nap is shorter than it should be, you can do problem solving to decide why and what to do about it.

If your child is older than 6 months old and regularly wakes up from a nap crying, then I would look into the situation to see how to change that.

Let's go over each rule with a bit more detail:

RULE #1: Mom, not baby, decides when nap will start
Like I said, this doesn't mean you put your child down when you feel like it and insist he sleep. This means you consider all factors to know when you should put him down.
  • Sleep cues are a wonderful way to know when the nap needs to start Nap Cues : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/nap-cues.html
  • Optimal waketime length will help you partner with the clock to guide the length of time until the next nap. This is knowing the perfect length of waketime for your child so she will take the right length of nap and not get overtired. Waketime: Length, Extending, and Calculating: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/waketime-length-extending-and.html. A log will also help you determine how long this should be.
  • Actual waketime length is another good indicator. Knowing when your child woke up from the nap helps you monitor the waketime. If your child wakes up and is pretty quiet, a baby monitor helps to hear those first babbles. I definitely need one for Kaitlyn.
  • Waketime activities are important to some children. If you were at a noisy place, your child might be over stimulated and need to go down earlier. This is another area where keeping a log helps.
  • Desired naptime length coupled with the next one,
  • Cycle length will help you gauge the waketime length. If you are on a 3 hour schedule and want a 1.5-2 hour nap, then you need 1-1.5 hours of waketime.
These things will all help you decide when the nap should start. When you get this right, baby will [usually] fall asleep quickly and then sleep the correct length of time. Keep in mind that 1.5 hours of sleep is good enough for many babies.
You decide when it starts. If your child protests (which many do, they want to play not sleep), you still decide. You don't say, "Oh, well I know you really should go down right now, but since you don't want to, you can stay up an extra 15 minutes and see if you change your mind by then." At that point, your child will likely be too tired and take a short nap--and therefore wake up early.
At those stages when baby is working on skills or talking and playing instead of going to sleep, you need to address that. Be sure your child is getting enough practice on the skills for waketime. Know if you should interfere or not. Maybe you need to go in and tell him it is time to lay down and go to sleep.
RULE #2: Mom, not baby, decides when nap will end
Again, you don't just say, "I have decided you will sleep for 2.5 hours even though you usually nap for 1.5 hours, so do so." No. You need to consider factors to determine how long your child should be sleeping. Many of them are similar to the previous section.
  • Desired naptime length for your cycle length and child's age will help you gauge the naptime length. If you are on a 3 hour schedule then you want a 1.5-2 hour nap. Again, keep in mind that 1.5 hours is okay. If your child sleeps that long and is happy, don't fight him to go back to sleep.
  • Child's sleep disposition will tell you which end of the range your child is at. My son was at the shorter end of averages. My daughter has always been at the longer end of averages. Know where your child is and what to expect.
  • Know when your baby actually wakes up from the nap. A monitor will tell you this. This way you will know for sure if your child woke up happy initially and then started to cry after being awake in his crib for 15 minutes, or if he woke from a sound sleep in a cry. I have to use a monitor to know this.
  • If your child wakes earlier than he should, analyze the external factors and troubleshoot the situation. Is your child teething or sick? Was the dog barking? Is your child in a growth spurt? Was he up too long? Is he cold? Really try to find the reason for the early waking so you can know both what to do about it and how to avoid it in the future. See Naps: Troubleshooting: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/naps-troubleshooting.html and Nap Disruptions: Rolling, Standing, Crawling, etc: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/nap-disruptions-rolling-standing.html
  • Be aware of transition time. 30-45 minutes into a nap is the transition time, and your child can be woken up more easily at this time. If the dog was barking during the transition and your child woke up, that is likely the reason. With Brayden, we were always quiet at his transition time. He was so curious that if he heard one sound, he woke fully. Kaitlyn likes to sleep, she doesn't seem to care what is going on while she is sleeping. This is another reason I like monitors. You then know the time your child actually fell asleep--or at least have a better idea.
  • Wake baby up if necessary. If your child is a sleeper and still asleep when the nap should be over, wake him up. This is part of your decision. Of course there are times you will decide it is better for him to sleep a little longer. Maybe his previous nap was too short. Maybe he is sick and and needs some extra sleep. Should you wake up a sleeping child? : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/should-you-wake-up-sleeping-child.html
RULE #3: If baby wakes up cranky, he didn't have a good enough nap
If your baby is well rested, he will wake up and be happy initially (older than 6 months old). He will wake up and babble or sing or whatever. Some will do that for a long time before you go get him. Others are less patient and will soon start to scream for you.
If your child is waking up early, you then need to decide what to do about it. See these posts for help in that decision:
Hopefully through this post and "Mom, not baby, decides..." you can see how everything is intrinsically connected. There is good reason for all advice I give (some things are just random advice, but those are labeled accordingly). Most things are linked and a domino effect quickly happens, for better or worse.
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