Enjoying the Magic of Motherhood

Basically every single week at church, a woman who has entered the stage of being a great-grandmother approaches me and tells me to enjoy the time with my children. I have always taken this advice seriously, so even on those days that are super, super hard, I try to step back and look at the big picture. On the flip-side, I do not guilt myself for having thins about young children or even motherhood that I do not like. I am positive I will not miss every single thing. There are memories we will all be happy to leave behind us. 

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a mother. I played with my dolls and was sure I would have twelve children someday. I have no doubt that I will look back in equal fondness on the magic that was motherhood, allowing time to erase the realities of what it felt like to be utterly exhausted. 

I am at a serene moment of parenting. I am still in it, but I also have some space for reflection. I look back on memories with the babies and the pudgy toddler fingers. Those were indeed good old days.

I don't want them to be THE good old days. I want all of the days to have elements I can look back on with fondness. I want the teenage years to be good old, also. I want the years they have grown and I am a grandmother to be good old. When I am a great-grandmother, I want to be able to look back on my time spent in those days with fondness and be able to sigh, "Those were the good old days."

No matter what days of my life I look back on, they have potential to be the "good old" ones. I love the song "Good Old Days" by Macklemore and Kesha. 

I wish somebody would have told me thatSome day, these will be the good old daysAll the love you won't forgetAnd all these reckless nights you won't regretSomeday soon, your whole life's gonna changeYou'll miss the magic of these good old days

I love that. All the love you won't forget. You'll miss the magic of these good old days.

There are so many things about young children that are magical. The peace that surrounds a sleeping newborn. The wonder of a toddler. The giggle of a preschooler. The first word. The first steps. The first time you have a real conversation with your child. It is all magical. 

Never thought we'd get old, maybe we're still youngMaybe we always look back and think it was better than it wasMaybe these are the momentsMaybe I've been missing what it's aboutBeen scared of the future, thinking about the pastWhile missing out on nowWe've come so far, I guess I'm proudAnd I ain't worried about the wrinkles around my smileI've got some scars, I've been aroundI've thrown some pain, I've seen some things, but I'm here nowThose good old days

This. Maybe these are the moments. Been scared of the future, thinking about the past while missing out on now. But I'm here now. 

All of these moments in life are moments we can potentially look back and miss. The great trick to life is to learn to love the moment you are in. Love that moment. Live that moment. 

See also:

• Days of Motherhood
• Guilt as a Mother: Consider the Source
• The Long, Hard Hours of Being a First Time Mom
• It's All About Perspective

Let It Go--Lessons from Frozen on Perfectionsim

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If you are like me, you have the privilege of hearing "Let It Go" and other songs from Disney's Frozen approximately a million times a day. I think a lot of people are getting sick of it, but I take a really long time to get sick of a song, so I don't mind it. McKenna (4) is full-on obsessed with these songs.

We saw Frozen in the theatre in December over Christmas break. It was McKenna's first time in a movie theatre. McKenna has a sensitive heart and she was on edge through the entire show. If you have seen it, you know it is pretty much in a state of conflict and stress the entire time. Then the emotional climax moves from stressed to emotionally-shattering. In a theatre full of children, you could have heard a tear drop. Except for McKenna's wails--she isn't a quiet person, especially not when she is expressing emotion. Her heart was broken. Her voice was what the audience as a collective was feeling. She really doesn't enjoy watching most movies because it is too intense for her. Cinderella is about her limit.

Anyway, Frozen has been hyped up beyond hype. I don't remember so much mania around a Disney show since Beauty and the Beast. I was excited. But I left the theatre feeling disappointed. Cute show? Yes. Nice story, sure. Interesting twist at the end, absolutely. Great moral lesson driven home, check. But best Disney show ever? Or even in the last 15 years? I wasn't feeling it. I didn't feel like it was any better than Tangled or Mulan. I actually felt like the character development was sorely lacking. Great potential for a great story, but it all happened too fast.

At about the 5 billionth time I heard "Let it Go," it struck me. The song has a great message, especially to perfectionists. I happen to fall into a perfectionist category. And even closer to home, I am all too familiar with the "oldest daughter needs to be perfect for the family" role. And I think the movie takes that role and allows Elsa to move past it with far too little effort. I understand, it is a movie for little kids. Extreme limitations here. But I think this is the character development I have trouble with (and I have only seen it once so I can't put my muddlings over it all to the test as I analyze it again and again). 

Can "letting go of perfectionism" be as easy as singing a little tune and taking some "me" time? Or is it having someone love you enough to put their needs before you own--to stop relying on you and allowing you to rely on them--even lay down their life for you? Can it really be that easy? And snap! You are moving on to your happily ever after. 

I am a strong person. I am someone people rely on and lean on. Most of the time, I can handle this role and do it well. But sometimes, I just want to rely on someone else for a change. I want to stop being the strong one and let someone else take that burden for me. I want to let it go.

And let me share there is only one situation I have ever found myself in where I have truly been able to let it go. It has been in crying to the Lord, telling Him I am not strong enough and that I need His help, and asking him to take the burden from me and help me through it. And guess what? He does! 100% of the time, my burden is lightened. 100%. And how easy was that? Pretty much as easy as singing a tune of my heart, taking some "me" time in prayer, and having someone love me enough to have put His life down for me. That is how easy it is.

And I am no more special than you are. If it is that easy for me, it is that easy for you. Put it to the test. 100% of the time, you will be received. 

Simple Life {Musical Musings}

Music is a huge part of my life. Really huge. I like most genres of music and really love the impact a good song can have on me. I think music is amazing because it touches and has appeal to people who are both right-brained and left-brained. Here are some quotes that speak to me on music:

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. Aldous Huxley

I think I should have no other mortal wants if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort when I am filled with music. George Bernard Shaw

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. Victor Hugo 

Music cleanses the understanding; inspires it, and lifts it into a realm which it would not reach if it were left to itself. Henry Ward Beecher 

I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music. Billy Joel

Its language is a language which the soul alone understands, but which the soul can never translate. Arnold Bennett 

Music can change the world. Ludwig Van Beethoven 

I also love finding songs that speak to me about life lessons. This song, "Simple Life" by Casey Abrams, is something I love especially as we approach summer. My memories of summer as a child are memories of simplicity. I love the idea of keeping summer with plenty of simple fun. I think that is one reason we love to camp as a family--we have a vacation that is simple and relaxed and involves basically nothing but time together as a family. We love to go to the mountains of Wyoming where we are out of cell phone range and just be unplugged. 

This song is great for reminding me to step back and keep things simple. We don't need to overdo it, but we easily spiral into overdoing it. I love the list of "first world problems" he talks about in this song and the irony of being constantly frustrated over these modern conveniences and material possessions we view as necessary. But they aren't necessary! 

The idea of leading a "simple life" is something I really have to step back and remind myself often. I have a playlist on iTunes for songs that talk about this message. That way I can listen to them and remind myself to evaluate life and simplify. 

Related Posts:

• A Good Woman
• Good Sacrifice vs. Foolish Sacrifice
• Being Pregnant and Being a Mom

It Happens

I love music. A whole lot. So much, that I am surprised I have not ever posted song lyrics on here that have inspired me. But that seems awfully cheesy and Jr. High-ish...so I suppose giving it a good three years before I did so was a good idea. Today, you are getting lyrics.

Again, I love music and like just about any type of music (just about). I was recently listening to Sugarland, and came across the song "It Happens." I thought the chorus was absolutely perfect for many of us moms to chant to ourselves some days:

Now it is poor me, why me, oh me

Boring the same old worn out blah blah story

There is no good explanation for it at all

Ain't no rhyme or reason

No complicated meaning

Ain't no need to over think it

Let go laughing

Life don't go quite like you planned it

We try so hard to understand it

Irrefutable, indisputable

The fact is

Psssh

It happens

As I was listening to this, it struck me that is often true. I think the most common and best fitting thing this can be tied to is a poor nap. Sometimes your baby or child will not sleep well. The reasons can range. Sometimes you can really just nail it down.

But sometimes, it just happens.

There is no good reason for it. There is no need to analyze and stress about it. Laugh it off.

Despite your best efforts and despite your sacrifices and plans, things won't always work out perfectly according to your master plan. 

And it just happens. 

Some days, your child will throw a fit for no good reason. It might even happen in the middle of the store.

It happens.

Some days, your child will eat only enough to keep a small ant alive. 

It happens. 

Some days, you are going to mess up big time. You will do something that you later realize was really a dumb move on your part.

It happens. 

So take the songs advice and laugh it off. No need to stress and agonize over something that sometimes bad occurs. Sometimes, it happens.

Related Blog Label:

• word to the weary