Showing posts with label disruptions. Show all posts

How To Maintain a Sleep Schedule Amid School Disruptions

How To Maintain a Sleep Schedule Amid School Disruptions. How to ensure your baby or toddler still gets the naps needed while balancing a school schedule.

You don't know what you have until it is gone. This phrase is true for many aspects of parenting, and one of those is the nicety of the lack of disruptions in life. Yes, it can get boring to be home all day every day with little variation to the schedule. The major perk of that, though, is that your schedule is your own. You get to set it. You get to work around baby's nuances and personality quirks. You fit your family as neatly as possible into the schedule that is the most natural fit for everyone.

Then school starts for your oldest or maybe you enroll your child in something like dance class. Suddenly, you don't get to just set the schedule. You have to work around an outside force on your schedule. Even if things are perfect right now, you might find yourself face to face with having to drive your child to school or practice right in the middle of nap time for your baby.

How can you ever maintain a solid sleep schedule with all of the disruptions going on? Can it even be done? Is it worth trying?

The answer is yes. Yes you can and yes it is worth it. Here are some tips to make it possible. Use the tips that work for you. You won't be able to use every tip, so pick and choose which make sense for you.

Sleep Disruptions You Will Face as a Babywise Mom (and how to deal with them)

As Babywise moms, we work so hard on sleep. We really believe in the benefits and importance of healthy sleep and put a lot of effort into making sure our babies and children are set up in life to sleep well. When a sleep disruption comes along, it can be very stressful and frustrating! All of that work! Was it for nothing? Will the baby ever sleep well again? How can we fix it!

Notice I said when the sleep disruption happens and not if. Sleep disruptions are a when. They will come. Spoiler alert that yes, your baby can sleep well again and yes, you can fix it. No, it won't last forever and no, it wasn't all a waste of your time and efforts. Here are some common sleep disruptions you likely will face and how to work around each of them.

1-Growth Spurts

No matter how you choose to parent, growth spurts are a part of life for babies. Growth spurts happen every 3-4 weeks, so sleep disruptions from growth spurts are super common! It is wise to check to see if hunger is the reason for your sleep disruption very first thing. An easy way to do this is to simply feed baby when baby wakes early and see what happens. If she eats, and then wants to eat again in another 2-3 hours, then it is likely a growth spurt. If not, move on to another idea. See Growth Spurts for more help on identifying if your baby is hungry or just waking early.

2-Sickness

Another disruption to sleep you will face as a parent is sickness. When a cold or any other sickness hits your child, he won't sleep as well. When your child isn't sleeping well because of sickness, then you want to just provide the comfort and relief she needs. Do not stress out about the "rules" or the "schedule." Do your best to still let him h ave sleep because sleeping helps people get better faster (when you're sick, rest is best). Do not hesitate to give comfort for your sick one. He might backtrack some once he is better, but you can work through that (and he might not backtrack!). See Comforting a Sick Toddler/Baby for more.

3-Teething

Not all babies stop sleeping well when teething and not every tooth will cause your baby to have disruptions to her sleep. It does happen, though. With my own children, I found the first tooth that ever came in caused sleep issues as well as certain molars. For Brinley, my fourth child, most teeth really bothered her. The dentist said it is because she has more collagen in her gums than the average person, so it was harder for the tooth to break through. Because of that, she had the pain and pressure longer than most do while teething.

When I suspect teeth, I always give some Ibuprofen right as I put the baby down for a nap. If it is teething, the medicine will usually get her through the sleep transition so she sleeps through her nap. If she doesn't sleep through, I check other possible reasons for the short naps. See Surviving Teething for help comforting a teething baby or child.

4-Wonder Weeks

The Wonder Weeks are predictable times when babies get fussier than usual. These times are often accompanied by disrupted sleep. A very common age for sleep issues from the Wonder Weeks is right around four months old. Another one is around ten months old. See Wonder Weeks Information for more.

5-Schedule Needs Changing

One of the harder transitions to deal with is when your baby needs a change in his schedule. Babies will stop sleeping well if they need waketime length to be different--either shorter or longer. See The Cornerstone for Good Naps for help there. Babies can stop sleeping well if they need to eat at longer intervals, like when your baby is ready to move to a four hour schedule. Babies can stop sleeping well if they need the dreamfeed dropped. See Dropping the "Dream Feed" for more on that.

6-New Skills

As your baby gets older, she will start to develop new skills. She will learn to roll over. She will learn to sit up, clap her hands, crawl, and stand. She will learn to make noises with her mouth and to clap her hands. When these new skills are new to her, she might very well start either fighting sleep when falling asleep or fighting it when transitioning mid-nap so she can practice these new and amazing skills. See New Skills and Sleep Disruptions {Rolling, Crawling, Standing, etc.} for more on this topic.

7-Activities

As tempting as it might be, you can't live your entire life confined to your house in order to avoid disruptions. Activities will disrupt sleep. Church inevitably disrupts sleep. Extended family parties and activities disrupt sleep. There are many different things that will come up that will negatively impact your baby's sleep schedule.

I had a few ground rules to help minimze the impact of these disruptions. One is that I wouldn't do too many in a row. Since Church was on Sunday, we stayed home on Monday so that sleep could be back to normal. If we had a family party Saturday, I made sure Thursday and Friday was super consistent so the baby wouldn't be too thrown off by having Saturday and Sunday disrupted.

I was consistent when we were home. I didn't let activities rule. I went for balance and didn't let baby's sleep nor activities be the trump card. See these posts for more:

8-Environmental Factors

As if you don't have enough working against you without adding in environmental considerations. The sun might disrupt your child's sleep--if so, get blackout curtains or blinds. It might be too hot or too cold for your baby to sleep. If so, adjust the thermostat and what he is wearing for sleep. See

Early Morning Waking and the Sun and Optimal Internal Temp=Optimal Sleep for more.

9-Traveling

10 common sleep disruptions and how to deal with them

Vacations are fun and create great memories! But if YOU get disrupted with your sleep on a vacation, imagine what it does to your baby. I don't say that to discourage you from traveling, just to make sure you face the reality that yes, traveling does disrupt sleep patterns. See Traveling Sleep Hierarchy for Babies and How To Travel Without "Un-doing" Babywise.

10-Time Change

Of all of the sleep disruptions that come my way in life, the time change the one obnoxious one for me. It often takes a few weeks to get back on track after a time change. That isn't just with babies; adults take a long time, too. See Shifting Your Schedule {Time Change, Time Zones} and How To Manage The Time Change Your Way for helps on this disruption.

Conclusion

Sleep disruptions are not exciting. They cause stress and throw you off. I promise, however, that they don't last forever and that there are things you can do to help your baby through the disruptions, minimize the negative impact of the disruption, and get back on track.

Related Posts:

The ladies of the BFBN are all talking about disruptions today. Check out these posts:

Going to Church Without Ruining Your Baby's Sleep

I love church. I really do. But when you have a little one, you often spend so much time in the hall with that baby that you wonder "What is the point? Why am I here? I should just be home with my baby! There is no point to come here and walk the halls and make my baby tired." I totally get you. I would wager that 95% of mothers who have been there in those halls have thought the same thing. You aren't alone! I have heard mother after mother utter that frustration over the years. It is hard! I have been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt.

Despite the murmurings that have played around in my head and on my tongue, I do feel strongly that church is worth it, even if you are in the halls the whole time. Strongly enough that we went through all four of our children and their baby years still going to church. Church was usually exhausting. Exhausting! Day of rest? Nope! The baby got off schedule. I usually had to have Monday as a recovery day and get back on track day. But going, even amidst the difficulty, set the tone for our family. We go to church each week. That's what we do. Sidenote here, but lest I lead any of you astray and into false hope, Sunday still would not be considered "restful" to me at this point in life.

Our church is 3 hours long. We change times from year to year, starting at 9, 11, or 1. No matter the time, you run into a nap with a baby when you have 3 hour long church. We made it through, everyone remained a great sleeper, and we came out the other side better for having done it. Here are some things you can do to preserve sleep and still attend church.

1-Try to have naps at church.
In an ideal world, sleep still happens even on Sunday. If church is during a nap, do what you can to work a nap in there. Brayden slept in his car seat. It was a short nap--usually around 30 minutes--but it was better than nothing at all. You might be able to set up a pack and play somewhere. You might be able to use a sling to have a nap in. You might just be carrying your baby during a nap (side note, that makes your arm go super dead. Rest the arm holding baby up on an arm rest or on your spouse if you have no arm rest).

2-Adjust the schedule at home.
There were times I would start a nap 30 minutes early on Sunday so we could sneak at least part of a nap in before church. On those days, I usually also woke baby up in the morning 30 minutes early that day, just so waketime length would be long enough before nap started. There were other times we went straight to nap after church on Sunday in order to catch up on sleep even it wasn't a normal "nap time." Your Sunday might be very different from your normal schedule, but that's okay. Do what you can to avoid total overly tiredness.

3-Skip the nap at church.
All three of my girls stopped sleeping at church from a young age--like 4ish weeks old. No more sleeping at church. For a newborn, 3 hours without sleep is a long time! But they wouldn't sleep, and you just can't force sleep. So I skipped the nap. Then we would come home, I would put them right down, and they would take a longer-than-usual nap to make up for it.

4-Use sleep props if needed.
Maybe you don't usually use a pacifier, but it helps your baby sleep at church. Maybe you don't typically allow nursing to sleep to happen, but it might be the ticket to get your little one to fall asleep at church or to fall asleep after church without having to cry. When Kaitlyn was a baby, we put her in the swing when we got home from church. I knew she was overly tired and the swing helped her just fall asleep peacefully.

5-Add a nap.
Your baby might typically take 2 naps a day, but on church day, you might add in a third nap. If one of the naps was skipped or shortened because of church, you can add a third nap just to keep baby from getting overly tired.

6-Be consistent other days.
Babies can handle disruptions every once in a while. Just be mindful of what your Saturday looks like and your Monday (and possibly Tuesday). A huge reason Monday is my laundry day is because from the beginning, my babies needed Monday to be a day at home. No disruptions to the routine. If I was going to be home, might as well get all of the laundry done while I was at it. Don't make long-standing commitments on Mondays if you need a recovery day. I promise it is a short time in your lifespan. Mondays won't be home days for ever and ever.

7-Get someone to watch baby.
If you have a family member or someone you trust who doesn't have church the same time as you, you could have that person come sit with baby during nap time. Brinley was a super consistent sleeper. We would take her to church during her waketime, then bring her home for nap and my mom would be here while she napped. My mom just read a book. Brinley slept until we got home. This was a solution we used for a while during Brinley's more sensitive baby months.

8-Have someone else hold baby to sleep.
Sometimes babies just won't sleep in moms arms. They feel uncomfortable and want mom to fix it. Then they get with someone they don't know as well and they sleep. Sometimes, mom has anxiety about sleep coming. Babies totally feel that. Stranger doesn't feel worried about it, baby relaxes, and sleeps. Sometimes there are people who are just talented at putting baby to sleep in your arms. If you have someone at church who is dying to hold a cute, sleeping baby, let it happen!

Conclusion
I know church gets hard some days and the sleep disruption seems unbearable, but you can survive it! Put in the effort and give it a go. It will be worth it.

Impact of Disruptions {Poll Results Post}

Disruptions are scary simply because you have no idea if a disruption will serve to negatively impact the progress and strides made to date. It is the fear of the unknown.

Every baby is different and some babies handle disruptions more smoothly than others. I thought it would be helpful, however, to get some insight on what real-life experience people have had with disruptions. You can see original answers here. Answers were also shared on my Facebook Page.

I love the pearls of wisdom readers always throw out there when I am going through these poll results. Be sure to read through the content here.

1-How would you describe your baby/child's general personality? For example, angel, textbook, spirited, touchy, grumpy, easy-going, etc.

Angel:

Textbook: 2

Angel/Textbook: 1

Spirited: 1

Touchy: 1

Unsure (easy going but not textbook): 1

2-How did/does your baby/child handle disruptions to a daily routine? What is the result? For example, go with the flow, sleep gets messed up, increased crying, no change, etc.

Lisa said: "Harder to settle for naps following disruption/ takes longer to wind herself down/ often needs more help to settle e.g. Dummy, hand settling

She also seems to sleep REALLY long on Thursdays which I think is because she is exhausted from church on a Wednesday night. "

Katie said: "A - My oldest, a spirited to the extreme baby, seemed "messed up" all the time anyway as a baby. It was nearly impossible to get him to sleep as much as he really needed, although I tried hard! But the nice thing was that he did extremely well with disruptions, at least during the disruption. He was a very cheerful and outgoing baby. Getting him caught up on sleep after was sometimes a challenge.
B - My second, a textbook baby, was pretty textbook with disruptions. I think she would do okay with them most of the time.
C - My third, a touchy baby, just cried a lot in the first year whether things were disrupted or not. Looking back, she was probably reacting to a lot of things I had no idea about - tags in her clothes or wind on her face or whatever - whether she was disrupted or on routine."

Brittany said: "Very well, he went with the flow. I honestly rarely see an impact if we ever have a disruption to our day. I do try to always stick to normal nap times though, I'm pretty strict there."

Isobel said: "I have not noticed many issues with nap disruptions. Usually, an early bedtime can offset any extra short or mostly missed naps. However, bedtime/nightime disruptions set him back for several days. For example, this weekend we visited family 3 hours away for a Christmas gathering. He handled the various naps excellently, and was put down for bedtime at his normal time and went to sleep. We left about an hour and a half after bedtime and he slept in the car for the first two hours of the drive, but then we got caught in bad weather and he ended up waking and being up for an hour and a half. For the next three nights he reverted to 2 feedings a night and more wakings, and now he seems to have gotten back to a better night sleep. His overall temperment does not seem affected, just his sleep."

3-If your baby/child has some sort of change from disruptions, about how long does it usually take to get back on track once you get back to your normal routine?

By the end of the next nap or the start of the next day: 1

A long time: 1

Within a day: 1

3 days: 1

Weeks or a month: 1

N/A: 1

4-Is there a limit to the duration of disruptions your baby/child can handle?

No: 2

Maybe: 3

Yes: 1

5-What is your current policy on disruptions? Do you limit, do you banish, do you allow all disruptions, or do you have some combo or play-it-by ear approach?

Lisa said: "Try to tell people no if she has had a lot of disruptions recently. We pick and choose what we will do so as not to cause too many disruptions e.g. If there was something on in the morning and the evening we would choose to just do one."

Katie said: "Now my kids are older (turning 9, 6, and 4). I do limit disruptions still as much as needed and we still do early bedtimes as long as needed afterwards. I don't stress about it much anymore. They can cognitively understand the routine, the disruption, and getting back on track. This of course makes a world of difference."

Brittany said: "I strictly limit disruptions that will interfere with him missing nap time."

Isobel said: "I try to eliminate bedtime disruptions except for special occcasions. I do feel that during the holiday season it is more important that baby learn to adjust to the family's activities than that the family not spend time with others to preserve baby's schedule. We will do our best to get him his naps at regular times in quiet, dark places but there may be a few nights he does go down for bedtime at someone else's house and will be transferred. This is a situation in which as a family we feel baby needs to fit in to our life. So I do try to limit disruptions, and when we are out and about I do my best to maintain his schedule and consistency, but I try to keep in mind that while I need to responsibly and carefully manage his life for his good, he is a part of our family as opposed to the family revolving around him. "

6-Any words of advice for parents facing disruptions?

Lisa said: "Try keep to the timing of their schedule e.g. They sleep and eat when they are meant to sleep and eat - but don't worry too much about how. My bubs will sleep in my arms, being rocked in pram, in sling etc. when we are out somewhere. These are all things I don't do when we are at home."

Katie said: " I think in all honesty that having done CIO helped me most. Every time we had to "redo" CIO seemed easier than the last - I knew the baby knew the routine and knew what they were supposed to do, partly because we'd done it before and partly because with each disruption, they were older than the last time. In the end, looking back, my best advice is to take fun pictures if the disruption is for a positive reason (Christmas, vacation, visiting relatives, special event) because later you'll let yourself forget the misery of being disrupted or getting back on track, and you will be SO glad you have cute pictures of what can remain only fun memories! ...I never used this as the primary factor in making the decision for/against disruptions. Usually it was things like whether we needed to be somewhere, etc. Family vacations were kept somewhat limited in the early years, at least for my older kids."

Isobel said: " Don't be afraid to stand up for what you know your child needs as far as getting them down for naps on time, bedtime, etc. But I have found it helpful to remind myself not to stress too much when there are disruptions due to family gathering, social events my husband and I deem important, etc. because ultimately baby is a part of our family and not the revolving point of it, so it is okay for him to learn to adjust in select instances."

Disruptions are scary simply because you have no idea if a disruption will serve to negatively impact the progress and strides made to date. It is the fear of the unknown.

Please take a moment to answer the questions below. Doing so will help other parents now and in the future. It is very helpful for me when compiling answers if you at least number the answers you give. You can also copy the questions and answer them. If the question does not apply to you, simply put "N/A."

1-How would you describe your baby/child's general personality? For example, angel, textbook, spirited, touchy, grumpy, easy-going, etc.

2-How did/does your baby/child handle disruptions to a daily routine? What is the result? For example, go with the flow, sleep gets messed up, increased crying, no change, etc.

3-If your baby/child has some sort of change from disruptions, about how long does it usually take to get back on track once you get back to your normal routine?

4-Is there a limit to the duration of disruptions your baby/child can handle?

5-What is your current policy on disruptions? Do you limit, do you banish, do you allow all disruptions, or do you have some combo or play-it-by ear approach?

6-Any words of advice for parents facing disruptions?

Traveling Sleep Hierarchy for Babies

Traveling to see family or to go on vacations is (usually) a whole lot of fun! Great memories are made and bonds are strengthened. There is always concern, however, of how it will impact your life and your baby's life both during the vacation and after the vacation. Chances are you have made a lot of sacrifices to have your baby sleeping how she is, and the idea of negating that effort is scary.

There is also a very real, and justified, concern over how the baby will be while on vacation. Will baby sleep, or will baby be up all night crying? How will that impact the other people in the house? You don't want to keep everyone up. Will you even have fun if you are up all night with the baby (I have been on those trips that are not so fun for me because of things not going well with baby!)? Is it worth it?!? I mean, the packing list alone is enough to keep people home.

Despite those fears, concerns, and work, you have decided to go on a trip. I think that is a wise choice. At least give it a try and see how it works out. Now you are left wondering what you should do about sleep while traveling. What do you do if baby wakes early from a nap? What if baby won't even fall asleep for a nap? What about night sleep? Will all of baby's progress be totally ruined?!? Aaahhh!

Take a deep breath. Go in with a game plan. It will work out. This post contains affiliate links.

GOAL #1: Baby Sleeps When She Should

This is the same as my first goal in the Newborn Sleep Hierarchy. Your first goal when traveling is just to get baby to take a nap at nap time and go to bed at bed time. You don't want an overly tired baby. Overly tired babies have a hard time sleeping and also aren't fun. They cry a lot, which means people can't enjoy baby and you can't enjoy yourself, not to mention your poor baby who can't stop crying.

If baby will go to sleep as he usually does at home, fantastic! That is ideal, of course.

Not all babies will do that, however. The house might be super noisy and make it hard for your baby to sleep. Your baby might not be as flexible of a personality type and might find it hard to sleep in a new environment. You might be out and about and not have a bed available for your baby to sleep in.

So you might find baby sleeping in a car seat, in the arms of someone, or even in a swing. When Kaitlyn was a baby, we literally brought her big old swing with us to Nate's family's house when we went. It was super noisy and she wasn't used to sleeping with noise. A swing was a way for us to make sure she could fall asleep when needed. Side note, I had dreams of a travel swing after Kaitlyn, but it turned out my next two babies both hated the swing, so we never traveled with a swing again.

We have been known to bring a pack and play, bassinet, or pea pod with us so our baby can sleep. Once I discovered white noise, I also brought that along with me to help block out noise. I have often nursed a baby back to sleep in the night who has previously been sleeping through the night with no feedings for months.

If you are out and about, see if you can get baby to fall asleep at nap time in the carseat, in your arms, or in your baby carrier.

Even if your baby only takes a 45 minute nap, it is better than zero nap.

The point is, you often have to do what it takes to get your baby to sleep while on vacation. Doing those things is better than your baby not getting sleep. That doesn't mean you will face zero consequences when you get home. Just because you had to doesn't mean it won't take some retraining once you get home. Just do not be afraid to do what your baby needs to get the sleep she needs. Sleep is most important here.

GOAL #2: Baby Sleeps in a Bed When She Should

If you are able, a nap in a bed is always preferable to a nap on the move. It is more restorative. It will help keep your baby on track so that when you go home, you don't spend 1-3 weeks trying to get back to where things were before you left.

Goal #1 is the most important for traveling and sleep. You might not even broach goal #2 at all, and that is okay. This is your call and you will make it based on a whole myriad of factors. Some trips are short and you might choose to not worry so much about sleep while on that trip. Some might be weeks and you want to keep things as normal as possible so life isn't so disrupted when you get home. Some babies are flexible and adaptable while others just aren't. Some can be tired and still content while others will scream. Sometimes you are visiting family that you might only visit once in a very great while. Decide what is best overall based on your unique travel situation.

Know your child and be an advocate for your child. If you baby is more flexible, you might allow her sleep to be disrupted to give family more time with her. If your child is not flexible, however, make sure you do what she needs you to do as her parent. I always say, baby's needs come before adult's wants.

What To Bring

Over-packing with a baby is a very easy thing to do. The struggle is real! You don't want to take more than you need, but you also don't want to be left without something you really need! So far as sleep goes, keep these things in mind:

Place to sleep (pack and play, bassinet, pea pod, moses basket...a place your baby would ideally sleep on her own while you are traveling).
Back-up sleep location (sling, carrier, swing...what are your back-ups at home? You might like something on the road).
Normal sleep attire. Swaddle blanket, lovie, types of pajamas, socks, pacifier...whatever your baby normally sleeps in and with, have it with you.
Alternative sleep attire. Also, have an alternative to what your baby is sleeping in at the moment. When Kaitlyn was a baby, we traveled to my grandmother's funeral. At the time, it was July and Kaitlyn's room at home was very hot. We traveled to a state where the nights even in July are often in the 30s. We ended up sleeping in my aunt's basement. Kaitlyn woke up a couple of times that night because she was cold. We should have brought warm pajamas, not just the light pajamas she was sleeping with at home.
Stimulation blockers (sound machine, something to cover a window, something to block you at night from eyesight...).

What to Expect When You Get Home

People often worry that they will negate all forward progress by going on vacation or having some disruption of some sort. That is not the case. Like I said, different babies respond differently. Some get home and slip right back into the normal routine. Some take a day or two of fussiness to get back to normal. Some might take a couple of weeks. No matter how long it takes, it won't negate everything you had previously achieved. Plan on taking a few days to be super consistent when you get home so your baby has the best chance at bouncing back quickly.

Helpful Reading Material:

Managing Disruptions to the Routine

We clearly had no concept of the importance of consistency. We didn't understand the benefits and the positive impact a little consistency could have in life. Brayden's first summer was spent here, there, and everywhere. The only thing consistent was that there was no consistency. As our girls came along, we were very careful about consistency. We had learned what inconsistency did and seen what could happen when there was consistency for a baby.

Despite the benefits of consistency, disruptions will come. Sometimes disruptions even have their benefits. While the family can and will make sacrifices for baby, sometimes baby needs to make sacrifices for the family (see Balancing Baby's Needs With Family's Needs, Baby Joins a Family {AND} Family Adds a Baby).

Summer is coming, and with summer comes disruptions. So when the time comes to have those disruptions, how do you manage them? This was my latest "managing" question on Facebook. Here is what you had to say:

Stay Close to Home

Christina said: This will be a new experience in a way for me because I will have a four-year-old and a newborn this summer (he's due May 12). We will most likely do a stay-cation this summer, but I am planning to bring my new baby boy with us outside whenever possible so that my daughter can play in a swimming pool or sandbox and get as much sunshine and outside time as she can. I'm also hoping to take both of them to the park for short visits here and there (we don't live very far). Everything will be timed around nap time once our schedule is set. If there is one thing I wish I'd done a bit differently with my daughter, it would have been to get outside with her even more. Evening and morning walks will be a must with our routine!

smile emoticon

Have Flexible Plans in Place

Alyssa said: We will plan one outing a day (usually the morning) and a walk or park trip in the afternoon. I like having days set aside for various outings (Thursday's are library days, Friday's are the pool, etc). I have a list of events locally and we rotate enjoying them. It's a different routine than our school schedule, but we still get out in the day, come home for lunch and room time, sibling play/movie time, and then enjoy outdoors. I also have a back log of crafts and experiments we can enjoy at home whenever we are getting bored. When we travel we usually follow a similar pattern because the kids need some down time midday and it seems to work out pretty well. This will be our first summer with my oldest two not needing naps, but new baby is coming, so that should shake things up. Hoping this one will take good naps in the ergo!

Disrupt Wisely

Shseena said: Mine is to try and have a more specific time to get out..a time where i know its ok to sacrifice a nap..like around3pm i know its okay if my 5 month old takes that nap while out because is always short anyway

Plan Around Schedule

Kristen said: I usually just fit in our fun around our normal everyday schedule! For instance when my daughters were young and still napped, I usually didn't plan anything unless we could do it first thing in the morning to be back by nap or later in the afternoon after nap and be back by dinner. I'm a real stickler for sticking to a schedule and routine with little ones! Now that the kids are older it doesn't matter as much because they don't require naps or have any other things they have to do. But now we have a baby in the house so we're back to scheduling our lives around nap time and bedtime, lol! It'll be interesting to see if we can get much of anything done this summer!!!!

Do Not Stress

Erica said: I live abroad and go home to the USA for summer, which means a super long flight and crazy jet lag! In my experience, the key is to get the kids back on schedule as quickly as possible, understanding that there will be a transition time of a few days. It's hard for me but I have to force myself to be more flexible. You just have to relax about it as much as possible--things do back to to normal once you are back home, I promise!

Adjust for Personalities

Katie said: Disruptions come in all shapes and sizes. When we take a long family vacation, we don't do a ton to minimize disruptions. It is a special and different time and requires adaptability on all parts, and there is usually a lot less sleep involved for everyone. We get back to normal in a strict way when we get home.

But the rest of the time, I work hard to add activities to our lives without disrupting routines (mostly sleep routines), especially for younger kids. I watch each kid to see how they are doing with disruptions and when they need a break. Their personalities determine a lot of what each can handle. As they get older, it's easier - mornings can be really fun and different every day and they do well with this. Special evenings can occur more often although I watch carefully to see if this is creating more fun or more overall chaos. And we try to use the summer to work on their coping/adaptability skills on how they can let me know appropriately when they're overwhelmed, or what to do when they need some down time.

For more information from me, see these posts:

Other Posts in the "Managing" Series:

Feeding/Napping Away From Home

There will definitely come a day when you want or need to go somewhere and it will interfere with baby's normal routine. Just because baby is away from doesn't mean baby won't need to eat or sleep, you will need a game plan for while you are out. I had a reader request I write about how to have baby eat and sleep when you are away from home. Let's go over some various scenarios and what I try to do.

Scenario 1: Away from home, but still in a home
There will be times you are away from your home, but still in somebody's home. No matter the age of the baby, in this situation, I have baby sleep and eat at regular times.

If you are breastfeeding, you can breastfeed where and how you and those around you are comfortable with. I would at times nurse in the room with others with a nursing cover (I have also seen people use a blanket or something). I have also gone to another room to nurse. All three of my children got to a point where it was just easier and faster to leave the room. My kids wanted to see what was going on if they heard people talking, so it was just less frustrating for me to leave for 10-15 minutes.

If you are formula feeding, bring along everything you will want or need. You might be one who likes a certain type of water--if so, bring it along with you. Make sure you have a burp rag or something you can use to make sure any formula escaping baby's mouth doesn't get on your host's couch, chair, or floor.

So far as solid foods go, bring along what you need for your baby. Some people might have a highchair. If not, I find carseats to work well. If my husband is around, one of us plays highchair and the other feeds. Some people own travel booster seats. You could also sit baby on the floor on a towel. Be sure to bring the bibs, spoons, bowls, etc you need unless you know the person you are visiting has the items that you can borrow.

Now for sleeping. Here comes the point when it requires you to act in faith. Now, if the baby is still young and not consistent about falling asleep on her own, I usually will put her in a sling or hold and rock her or something to help her fall asleep and stay asleep. But once baby sleeps well on her own at home, I put her in a bed just like we are at home. When Brayden was young, I always hauled the pack and play around with me. During Kaitlyn's first while, we hauled her bassinet because that was easier. Now, I like the pea pod.

Bring a lovey, doll, blanket, or whatever your child will need to sleep away from home. If things will be noisy, consider bringing along a sound machine or humidifier to help block out the noise. Find an empty room or large closet to put baby in for the nap.

Remember when I said it was an act of faith? I remember one time when we were visiting friends when Brayden was a baby. They had a son two weeks older than Brayden. It came time for Brayden to take a nap. We hadn't planned on staying during nap time, but were enjoying our visit. Our friend's offered their son's crib. The room was right next to the room we were visiting in, and we didn't know if he would sleep or not, but we put him in bed and he went to sleep perfectly and slept as usual.

Now, there may be times and there may be babies who will only take a 45 minute nap. At the transition, they will wake up and some will be concerned over the new place. That is fine. A 45 minute nap is better than no nap at all. For the younger babies, you might need to have the next nap time come early. For babies 6 months and older, you might be best off to just wait for the next normally scheduled nap.

In a simple summary, when I am visiting at a friend's house, I keep feedings and sleeping times the same and just adjust as necessary for the house we are at.

Scenario 2: Away from home with no place to put baby
Sometimes you will be away from home and unable to put baby somewhere to sleep. Situations we have faced like this have included family reunions and shopping trips. And church is like this weekly! Exactly what you do will depend a lot on baby's age. Newborns are typically a lot easier to handle in this situation than an older baby. Pre-toddlers can be difficult because few will sleep in arms and they get cranky. Then they get more flexible over time once they hit about two or so.

If you breastfeed, my advice is the same as above. Feed where you feel comfortable, baby is comfortable, and those around you are comfortable. I believe you can be respectful to mom, baby, and everyone else. I again try to feed as closely to the normal feeding time as possible. If baby is hungry earlier (which often happens if baby doesn't sleep well), I feed early. If baby is sleeping and it is time to eat, I might wait another 30 minutes because you never know if the next nap while you are out and about will be as good.

Formula feeding is the same as above as well; bring what you need and feed baby.

Sleep is where the difficulty arises. I again try to keep nap times as close to when they should normally happen as possible. Here are some different things we have done.

We often used a sling when McKenna was a newborn. At church, at family reunions, at the store...it was a great place for her to sleep while we were out and about.
When Brayden was a baby, we used the carseat often. You have to be careful with a sleeping baby in a car seat. Keep baby right by you, and I don't suggest you strap baby in. There is a strangling risk (yes, it has happened to people before).
Another thing we did often with Brayden was put him in our stroller. It would lay flat like a mini bed. Brayden was the type who hated to be held while he slept, so we had to find solutions for him so he could sleep on his own.
One time when we were at the beach, we put 14 month old Kaitlyn in the pack and play. We put it under our pop-up shade, put blankets and towels around the edge, and told her to go to sleep. She took a short nap, but it was better than no nap at all.
Some babies will sleep in your arms. McKenna would do this if I brought along her swaddle blanket and swaddled her up first.
There will come a day when your child is able to skip a nap without life coming to a stop. When your child has reached this point, you can let him skip the nap. There are some things to keep in mind. If your child has a tendency toward aggression, being tired will magnify that. As the parent, it will be your responsibility to keep an extra eye on your child so she doesn't start terrorizing other children.Your child will also be more whiny and less obedient. Be patient with your child. My kids are also hungry when they should be sleeping. I will offer them snacks to help keep them happy. Ideal? No, but better than meltdowns and appropriate in the context of the situation.

Other tips: don't skip more than one nap in a row. And, you might need to get the child in bed early that night if sleep was missed that day.

Scenario 3: Breastfeeding, but can't feed in the situation
You might sometimes find that you are unable to breastfeed in the situation you are in. If you find yourself in this situation, offer a bottle. You can either pump or give formula. For those eating solids, you can also offer extra solids instead for one meal. I wouldn't do it for more than one meal, but for one meal, your baby will be fine. You might try offering a sippy of water after the solids are eaten to keep baby hydrated.

Conclusion
I think that kind of covers in a generic way all the situations you would encounter. As a summary, here are the basic tips I do:

Try to feed baby as close to normal feeding time as usual. There will be times you need to feed sooner or will feed later, and that is fine. Just make sure you get the minimum amount of feedings in for the day.
Try to get baby to sleep when she should. Bring along a bed, use a sling, use your arms, etc. Getting some sleep is most important here; don't worry about "starting bad habits" or "ruining your work." Yes, it is possible you might find yourself retraining when you get back home, but that is worth it to get the sleep baby needs.
Be sure to check out the posts on "disruptions," "flexibility," "context," and "traveling" as linked below for further information on this topic.

RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS

Disruptions Are Good

Disruptions are good. Yep, you read that right. I would even say that disruptions are necessary. Now, I am not saying to disrupt every nap or even to disrupt every day, but I think disruptions on occasion are good for the whole family.

Living a consistent schedule or routine can get to be quite monotonous. Mom will go crazy if she never leaves the house. Children will learn to bounce back, and sometimes disruptions will help reset things to be back in the proper order.

What are some of the ways we get disrupted in life? And how do we deal with them? Here it is.

Church
For my husband and me, church is very important. Our church is three hours long, so even though it is a mere five minute drive at most, it is always a disruption. I have a post entirely dedicated to church and how we deal with the disruptions it brings. For the purposes of this post, know that we go each week. Know that it is over one of McKenna's naps and she doesn't sleep there. And know that it is over Kaitlyn's entire afternoon nap. It isn't an easy thing, but it is important to us so we go each week.

Playdates
Sometimes, naps will get disrupted due to playdates with friends or visits to the park with friends. My exact tolerance for disruptions caused by this varies based on age and ability of the child. We have a large group of friends that go to the park weekly when the weather is nice. Here is how we have handled it.

When Brayden was a pre-toddler (ages 12-18 months), he couldn't handle late naps. He needed his naps on time. The latest we would ever be for naps due to these activities was 30 minutes--and that is if I was being lenient and he was being good.

When Brayden was a two year old and Kaitlyn was a baby, he could handle a bit more disruption, but not a lot. We would sometimes stay out until 2. I would try to get Kaitlyn to sleep at the park for a nap. If Kaitlyn was having a rough day, we wouldn't go. We also didn't necessarily go every week. As she got older but was still a baby, we went less often because she just wouldn't sleep unless she was in bed.

When Brayden was three and Kaitlyn was a pre-toddler, we could stay longer. Brayden could handle later naps and so could Kaitlyn. We would do 2-2:30.

When McKenna was a newborn, we handled things similarly to when Kaitlyn was a baby. McKenna would fall asleep easier at the park and for longer than Kaitlyn did.

This year, McKenna will be pre-toddler age. She still takes 2 naps and her second nap doesn't start until 2:30. I imagine this year we will stay until 2-3.

Weekends
I think for many families, a lot of structure goes out the window when Dad is home. It is that way for us. When Dad is home, we have meals on time. Naps tend to start around the same time-ish. But things like independent playtime and such are typically non-existent unless Dad is really busy with something.

Holidays
By holiday I am meaning when Dad is home for an extended period, which for us happens around holidays. For us, holidays are basically one long weekend. If behavior starts to get bad, I re-institute independent play, but otherwise we just relax and don't worry about it.

Vacations
I try to keep naps as consistent as possible on vacations. I find when I do, the children last a lot longer in a happier state. But we allow flex as the child is able to handle.

Random
You might have some random visitors or a random lunch that lasts longer than expected. I remember one time when McKenna was 8 months old. We had lunch with family in town, then went shopping. She ended up being three hours late for a meal! She had been fine and happy the whole time. It is the only time in her first year she was more than 30 minutes late, but she survived just fine and wasn't fussy about it in the least.

Factors To Consider
No matter the disruption, there are factors to consider as you encounter them:

Ability of Child: Some children handle disruptions better than others. Brayden and Kaitlyn didn't (and don't) do well if a meal is late. Brayden couldn't have late naps or bedtime. Kaitlyn can and could. McKenna can and could. Take the abilities of your children into consideration as you work around disruptions. More touchy children like Brayden are harder to work around, and you basically just have to "suck it up" and deal with that. It won't last forever.
Frequency: When dealing with a disruption, consider the frequency of it. There are routine, weekly disruption that you need to learn to just work around. If a child will be disrupted Sunday for church, it is probably best to make Saturday and Monday as consistent as possible. I don't make appointments or anything on Mondays. I make sure sleep is full on Saturdays.
Needs of Family: The whole family needs to get out sometimes. Getting out into the world and visiting places and people just rejuvenates your psyche. It makes remaining consistent easier.

Conclusion
If you have any questions about disruptions that you encounter, please feel free to ask away! Don't be afraid of disruptions. Yes, you want to establish consistency, but once you do, you can all handle disruptions. You will all benefit from it! Be sure to look through the related posts below.

RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS:

Church: Weekly Disruption: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/church-weekly-disruption.html
Flexibility
Adjusting for Context: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/adjusting-for-context.html
Adjusting for Context: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/01/adjusting-for-context.html
The More You Do It, The More Your Child Will Get Used To It : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/03/more-you-do-it-more-your-child-will-get.html
Disruptions
Dealing With Disruptions To Your Routine: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/dealing-with-disruptions-in-your.html
Going Out : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/going-out.html

How To Maintain a Sleep Schedule Amid School Disruptions

Sleep Disruptions You Will Face as a Babywise Mom (and how to deal with them)

Going to Church Without Ruining Your Baby's Sleep

"Flexible-izing" a Baby

How to Have a Routine for Your Baby and Still Have a Life

What is a Sleep Transition (and How Does It Impact Naps)

Wonder Weeks Information

The Cornerstone for Good Naps

How To Calculate Waketime Length

Optimal Waketime Lengths

How to Have a Routine for Your Baby and Still Have a Life