BABYWISE AND MULTIPLES QUESTIONS
steffie said...
What's the best way to get triplets on the eat/wake/sleep cycle? They have been on a 4 hour feeding schedule since birth and I REALLY don't want to mess with that. They are gaining weight very well and are used to eating every 4 hours, not to mention with 3 babies this is just how we have to manage it. My question is about the sleeping. The times just don't add up. We feed them then let them play/cuddle/etc. and they are ready to nap after about an hour and a half. We then put them down to nap. They nap anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. That leaves at least an hour before their next feed. What do I do? I did try a week doing the 3 hour feeds and it was a nightmare. They ate less and slept less at night. I don't know how to make them sleep longer, but I cannot let them cry in their cribs for over an hour. First and foremost because they wake each other up and I have two or three screaming babies. When they wake up an hour early or more I can put them in their swings. We then feed the at the normal time and they are immediately sleepy because they've been awake for a long time. We've been doing babywise for about 5 weeks. They are almost 14 weeks, 7 weeks adjusted. They do sleep at night from 7:30-10:00, wake up and feed, 10:30-around 2:00 when they wake up and feed. I dreamfeed them in bed at that time. They then wake up at 6:00 hungry. We put them right back down and they sleep until 9:00. Any help would be so appreciated!
March 2, 2008 12:01 PM
Plowmanators said...
Have you seen this post:Waking Early From Naps/Won't Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html ? Normally, my advice would be to feed when they wake up because they have taken a good nap, but you have tried that without success. You might try adjusting waketime a bit. Often, moving the nap earlier by 5-15 minutes can make a huge difference in length of the nap. But, the longest they should sleep is 2.5 hours. If you moved waketime to an hour and fifteen minutes, they would still be up early (if they slept that long), but only 15 minutes early instead. See this post for more on that idea: Easy Nap Fix: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/easy-nap-fix.html You have a tricky situation because you are dealing with three individuals. They won't necessarily all need the same nap length and/or waketime length. You can also easily have them waking each other. If one has a rough nap, they can all have a rough nap :)You might need to wait it out until they are old enough to stay awake longer, but some babies might take some time to get there (my 10 month old still has 1.5 hour waketime). I would take a look at the two posts I listed, try some things, and see what happens. Good luck!
March 2, 2008 9:38 PM
Showing posts with label multiples. Show all posts
Babywise and Triplets {Guest Post}
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As you all know BW has a multiples chapter, written by a mother of triplets (I'm sure most of you just skipped over this chapter with relief), but we followed it to the T and are happy to report that it worked wonderfully. Our kids are sleeping better and are more cheerful than most singletons we know. As it says, first and foremost, do not try and do it alone. It is necessary to have an extra set of hands, at least in the beginning. At no time in the first 3 months did I do a single feeding alone. My husband had to go back to work after 2 weeks. My mother stayed with us during the week nights and helped during the afternoons also. Various friends also chipped in.
After staying in the hospital as long as we could (five days), we were lucky enough to take all 3 babies home with us. That first feeding at home was daunting. We did not have anything set up, and professional help was suddenly gone. In retrospect, we adjusted quickly, but we were both feeling a bit overwhelmed at the time. Anyway, the nurses put the babies on a 3 hour schedule (6am, 9am, noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, midnight, 3am) which we simply continued. The lactation consultants' lessons on breastfeeding held pretty well, but we still called them a number of times, and we took advantage of their offers to visit and help us (four times). In the hospital, we had been using donor breast milk, but at home it was pumped milk (my milk finally came in). I began nursing one baby at a time, while the other two were being fed from a bottle. I would nurse and then immediately pump for the next feeding. And, amazingly I made much more milk than we needed. Yes, it was tiring and I had my moments, but it was clearly better then having all three kids on different schedules. It really doesn't matter if you're using breast milk or formula, that is just what worked for us.
We also kept a schedule on a whiteboard (like those in the back of BW). We kept track of who ate from the bottle (B) and who ate from which breast (L or R). We'd also keep track of their pees and poos, and anything else that seemed important (like questions for the doctors or nurse practitioners). There is no way we could have just remembered this info and keeping track of it was a HUGE help.
Not until 6 weeks did I begin to nurse two at a time, while the third was being fed breast milk from a bottle. At this point, I did a few feedings a week on my own, and I would nurse two at a time, while the other played under the play gym or was in the swing, then I would feed the third baby after. I made sure the babies got full feedings from the get go, but just as BW suggests, I never let them feed for longer than 30 minutes. We would make sure to keep them awake, with cold wash cloths, etc.
Then at 2 months, we dropped the 3am feeding. Only one of the boys woke up around 4am-ish for the next two nights and I think we fed him once but the next night he just cried a bit and fell asleep. Just two weeks later we dropped the midnight feeding as well. The 9pm feeding was a dream-feed (the babies had been sleeping since 6 or 7 p.m., and were more or less unconscious for this final feeding). But we pushed it forward to around 11pm, and then, little by little, we took it back to 9pm. So at 2.5-3 months, the babies were sleeping from 9 p.m. to 5-6 a.m. (my husband goes to work early, so in order for him to help on the first feeding, we set it at 6:00 a.m., which is where it remains today.) Then around 4 months we dropped the 9pm, although I think we could have done it much earlier. We were a little nervous, but mainly we just loved the dream-feed because they were so sleepy and cute and the schedule just worked for us. At this point I also began feeding all 3 from me. I would just rotate.
Oh, and though the babies were not feeding as consistently, I still would wake up around 3am-ish and pump to keep up the supply, and to keep it coming (not fun). I did that until the end of the 5th or 6th month. Nevertheless, at around 5 months, I wasn't making enough milk and so we began to supplement with a couple of ounces of formula in one bottle per feeding. Then around 6 months I decided (--I had had enough of breastfeeding--rotating three babies never felt especially intimate) to begin weaning the babies. Two of the boys drank from the bottle easily and they it did not matter for them if it was breast milk or formula. I kept going with the girl for another couple of months, but by 8 months I went cold turkey, which took her until the last feeding of the first day to totally accept. I just couldn't breast feed anymore. I was exhausted. She was totally fine and took to the bottle and formula well thereafter.
I think around 8 months we also went to a 4 hour schedule. We probably could have done this earlier also, but the 3 hour schedule was working well for us. The new schedule was 6am, 10am, 2pm, and 5:30pm. They had been sleeping 6pm-6am since 4 months and, honestly, we got up in the middle of the night only once for one of the boys who was teething, not including the first and second nights of shots, which were sad nights).
For the most part they stayed on schedule but every once in awhile we had to feed a baby a little earlier than planned. We also used the pacifier earlier on if they woke up early just to try and get them a bit closer to the 2.5-3 hour mark, but never as a sleep prop, of course. Now, one of the boys sucks his thumb a bit, but I can't remember the last time we even saw a pacifier.
They all slept in the same crib until they were about 4 months old. Then they got too big and we brought in another crib. Just a few weeks later we brought in 3 cribs. They do not wake each other up with their cries. I plan to keep them in the same room for a few years at least. We adhered to the feed, wake, sleep cycle and still do. We put them down awake in their cribs and never rocked them to sleep (except, again, on the first night of the shots). We consulted our BW bible multiple times a day and stuck with it. The Chronicles has also proved very helpful, especially for schedule shifts. What to Expect in the first year was also a great reference for us for specific ailments and the like. There were some trying times but I truly think by following BW the whole family is well rested and happy.
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Thank you Suzy! I had to laugh at "I'm sure most of you just skipped over this chapter with relief"--I know I skipped it the first few times I read Babywise :).
RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS
BW and Triplets Success
Here is a story from a mom of triplets!
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I just want to let you know that BW has been a COMPLETE success with my triplets. I had spontaneous triplets last August and we've implemented BW from day 1. My sister used BW with her last 2 kids and they are awesome, so we decided we wanted to follow in her footsteps. I hear many parents of multiples say "we have 2 different kids and they're just on different schedules..." My response would be we have 3 kids on the same schedule and they're totally different from one another. Had we not followed BW i think we'd be pulling our hair out but actually we've had a great 10 months so far. The kids are so healthy and happy and so are we. They've been sleeping through the night since they were 2.5 months old. I have literally gotten out of bed in the middle of the night ONCE since then. They go to bed at 6pm and begin talking anytime between 5:15 and 5:45 but we don't get them out of bed until 6am. They are taking 2 good naps during the day.
Anyone that comes over to our house, especially those without children yet, are totally sold on BW. They always talk about how happy they are and that they never cry, even when we put them down for naps. Well, that's not totally true. We still get some good cries but if I had triplets again tomorrow I would do the exact same thing.
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I just want to let you know that BW has been a COMPLETE success with my triplets. I had spontaneous triplets last August and we've implemented BW from day 1. My sister used BW with her last 2 kids and they are awesome, so we decided we wanted to follow in her footsteps. I hear many parents of multiples say "we have 2 different kids and they're just on different schedules..." My response would be we have 3 kids on the same schedule and they're totally different from one another. Had we not followed BW i think we'd be pulling our hair out but actually we've had a great 10 months so far. The kids are so healthy and happy and so are we. They've been sleeping through the night since they were 2.5 months old. I have literally gotten out of bed in the middle of the night ONCE since then. They go to bed at 6pm and begin talking anytime between 5:15 and 5:45 but we don't get them out of bed until 6am. They are taking 2 good naps during the day.
Anyone that comes over to our house, especially those without children yet, are totally sold on BW. They always talk about how happy they are and that they never cry, even when we put them down for naps. Well, that's not totally true. We still get some good cries but if I had triplets again tomorrow I would do the exact same thing.
Babywise and Twins
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"The biggest complication to doing Babywise with twins, I think, is when one baby wakes up early or gets tired early, because it is pretty important to keep them on the same schedule. For instance, with the '45 minute intruder', the book says to try to feed the baby to see if its a hunger issue. But I feed them at the same time and don't want to wake the other baby early just to see if the first is hungry. So I usually hold off the early waker until either her sister wakes up or has at least had a decent nap.
Similarly with going to sleep. One of my girls gets fussy really quickly when she's tired; it's impossible to miss her sleep window. And she falls asleep very fast. Then I get her sister, who seems to be still be wide awake. I often regret having to put her down for a nap because the first one was tired. So in a way, having the two forces me to stick to the schedule a little more. I've had friends who said they had trouble doing Babywise because they couldn't bring themselves to wake a sleeping baby; I'm constantly waking a sleeping baby because if I didn't, they would be on separate schedules." drbc
And here is the second mom:
"We are basically on separate schedules. I have a full time nanny so that helps. With our medical complications there was no way I could keep them on the same schedule. Hannah had to eat every 2 hrs and I was trying to keep Noah at every 3 hours. We started Babywise late, too. (6 months old, 3 months corrected age---before that they just did Babywise naturally as that was the NICU routine but it didn't involve any CIO b/c all they basically did was eat and sleep). I wish I could have kept them on the same NICU 3 hr schedule from the beginning but that didn't happen. [Last month], they began to naturally conform their schedules (even their naps!) to about 15 minutes. I put them to bed at the same time but they often wake at different times and need their naps at different times. Noah stays up longer in the morning whereas if I miss Hannah's window, I'm scr**ed.
They are also on different eating schedules because of size. Hannah only eats 4 (sometimes 5) oz every 3 hrs. Noah eats 6-8 every 4 hrs. But they both only stay awake 2 to 2.5 hrs in between naps. Both are still at 3 naps. I try to keep in mind that they are individuals and have different sleep/activity needs. Noah sleeps more but can stay up longer; Hannah eats more frequently and takes shorter naps. If I have to go anywhere I wait until Hannah wakes up from her nap, regardless of what Noah is doing b/c Noah can eat/sleep in the car whereas Hannah refuses to do either in the car or anywhere but home. So I try to do the Babywise thing with them individually." Lauren
And mom number three:
"There are definitely some challenges with twins. The thing that helped me the most was actually following more of a clock schedule because otherwise you end up trying to decide if you should wake one baby to eat just because the other one woke early, etc. Since my girls are big and healthy, at 3.5 months I knew they could go 3 hours between feedings. Since their afternoon naps are short, we end up with wake time before and after the feedings, but this seems to be working all right for us. They are definitely fussy and higher maintenance than when we fed them whenever they woke up, but then our schedule would spiral into short little cycles."
I applaud all mothers who have twins. It would not be easy. These are some tips from moms who have twins, although they all gave some different advice. Hopefully you can get something from one or all three and apply to your own situation.
One reason I see twins being hard is because of what Lauren said. Each baby is an individual. You have to figure out two little strangers at the same time.
Something drbc said is so true to me. She said she needs to stick to the schedule in order to care for both babies. I have found that true with my two children. It is more important for me to have Kaitlyn follow her outlined schedule because I have two to care for. There is some flexibility available, and definitely more for me than a mom of twins simply because Brayden is older and can wait for things if he needs to.
Kudos to all moms of twins out there. Don't forget to refer to the chapter in On Becoming Babywise on twins. Good luck in your endeavors!
And please, if you have good tips for moms with twins, post them in the form of a comment.
*Note that the comments have been edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling if neccessary.
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