Reader Reading Questions

Kate said...

Hi Valerie,

I have been reading to my 7-month-old son, Kayden, since he was 3 months old. I know that infants and children benefit a lot when their parents read to them. Lately, I have been thinking about whether using flashcards with Kayden is a good idea to teach him words & pictures. I have done some research on the Internet, but am pretty confused as to whether I should apply the flashcard method, as there is a controversy on this issue. I would really like to know your view on this, and whether you do anything else to enhance your children's language development, in addition to reading.

Thank you.
Kate

July 2, 2009 8:18 AM 

Plowmanators said...

Kate,

I just read and talk to my children. I am not a baby-talker, so when I talk to my kids I talk to them as I would any other adult. I don't "dumb down" my vocabulary, either. If they don't know what something means, they ask.

I think you can do flash cards, but just be careful about it. Don't go into it with pressure or expectations of greatness. If it is something you both enjoy, go for it. If it is something that stresses one or both of you out, then I wouldn't do it. I could see him really liking to look at flas cards of different pictures. Take it as a fun activity.

July 6, 2009 1:15 PM 

Reader Waking Early from Naps Questions

WAKING EARLY QUESTIONS:

• Kristen said...
  Hi!!Thank you so much for your website! I'm new to the BW method, having heard about it from friends. Our son is almost 8 weeks old (tomorrow!!) and we're wanting to start getting him on a schedule. I have a question that may be silly. Does the feeding time count as part of the "wake" period? For instance, if it takes 10 min to feed or say even a half hour sometimes, should that be deducted from the overall wake time? I have so many questions, but have been going through your site a ton to see if I can find the answer myself before bugging you! One other one, that I think I saw from December [2007] - If the baby nly sleeps for say 25-45 minutes, should we get them up and do the next feeding early? Or start the awake time then and then just try to wait till the next feeding? I think the way I understand it is if they are happy, then just wait, but if they are starting to cry, like they are hungry, then to go ahead and do it early. Is that right? Thanks for all the helpful tips!
  February 13, 2008 9:33 AM 
  Plowmanators said...
  A lot of people ask that question about waketime. The answer is yes, feeding counts as waketime. See this post: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/waketime-length-extending-and.html The method you choose for early waking is up to you. There are so many possibilities, and I think the solution lies in the baby's personality. For a baby the age of yours, I would first feed him when he wakes. That way you are sure it isn't a hunger problem. BW says if you get them up and they take a full feeding, then you know he was hungry. If not, you know it was something else. Also, if you know he isn't waking out of hunger, I would always feed by 2.5 hours if he is up. The schedule can be 2.5-3 hours, so if he is awake anyway, I would feed him at 2.5. But yes, always feed if baby is hungry. Welcome to the site and please feel free to ask questions!
  February 13, 2008 10:21 AM

Various Reader Questions/Requests Part II

MOTHERHOOD QUESTIONS

• susie said... I know this may sound selfish, but did you ever feel for your child's first 2 years staying home all day was best for your child. We are on the 4 hour schedule and so going out in the evenings is a little easier. (due to only 2 naps a day). However, my daughter at 7 1/2 months is teething and not napping well. So I just feel it is best I stay home everyday, except the 2 days I work. Did you feel this way?
  April 11, 2008 5:35 AM
  Plowmanators said... yes, but I am surprised you feel selfish about that :). Most moms feel selfish for not wanting to stay home all day, not for wanting to. Doing what you think is best for your baby is in no way selfish. :)
  April 11, 2008 2:56 PM

NIGHTTIME WAKING QUESTIONS:

• momto3 said...
  I am on babywise baby #3. She is 51/2 months old and started 2 weeks ago waking again at night. Any thoughts??
  March 19, 2008 8:33 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  See this post:Nighttime Sleep Issues: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/nightime-sleep-issues.html Beyond those thoughts, I would wonder if she is either 1.going through 6 month growth spurt early or 2.reaching that age where they are more aware and so they awake more fully to check out their surroundings.
  March 20, 2008 11:03 AM
  momto3 said...
  I read through the blog you recommended. None of those issues seem to apply. We are going on almost 3 weeks of the nighttime waking. When she first started it, i fed her since we were traveling. But after a week and half of that, she started waking more than once. I just can not figure it out. I have tried shortening daytime waketime, adding cereal and staying close an strict with our sched. Any thoughts???
  March 22, 2008 1:02 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Have you tried shortening daytime napping instead of waketime? At your baby's age, BW suggests shortening naptime if night wakings suddenly start for no other reason. How many naps does she have in a day? Most 5 month olds will have only 3.
  March 22, 2008 10:58 PM
  momto3 said...
  She takes 3 good naps still. The last nap ends around 5:30 or 6 and then bedtime is after her last feeding at 8:45 or 9. She then, before all this, slept till 8am.
  March 23, 2008 5:31 AM
  Plowmanators said...
  My next thought would be that perhaps you need to shorten the third nap. It is also possible that it is just a phase.
  March 24, 2008 9:37 PM
• Becca said...
  I've been trying to implement babywise strategies basically since my 10 wk baby was born. in the past 2 weeks however I feel like his night sleep has gotten worse instead of better. before, he would take 2 night feedings (and the dreamfeed) with a waketime at 7:45. he's moved up to 3 (sometimes 4!) night feedings. I don't know what happened. Our day schedule is the same...the only difference is that CIO is over and he sleeps right away. I read that by now he should be sleeping 7-8 hours at night. The best he's ever done is 5, but now it's really every 2.5 hours. He takes a full feeding each time (except possibly when he wakes up for a 4th night feeding). Any ideas on what I'm doing wrong??Thanks so much for all your input!
  June 20, 2008 1:52 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Becca,Have you treated it like a growth spurt? There is often a growth spurt around 8 weeks. I would first do that, then see how it goes. See this post: Growth Spurts: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/growth-spurts.html
  June 23, 2008 2:31 PM
  Becca said...
  Plowmanators, Originally I did think growth spurt, but he's been taking 3-4 night feedings (not including DF) for 3 weeks now. Can growth spurts last that long? If that's what this is, it looks like we'll move straight into the 3 mo. growth spurt with no break. I was hoping things would improve by now!He does still have nights where he feeds "normally" (2x), but at this point it's pretty random. Even before all of this, the 5 hr. stretch happened maybe 2x and 4 hr stretches maybe a few times per week. Generally it was every 3 hr. I'm still waiting for those days to return. I went back and read that most naturally sttn by week 12. Looks like we're a LONG way from that! I just want to make sure I'm doing everything possible to help him make it there!Thanks for your thoughts. It's always nice to be reminded that others made it through!
  June 23, 2008 4:13 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Becca,I once asked my doctor how long a growth spurt should last, and he said there is no way to predict. But my guess would be that if he has been given extra food for that long, it isn't a growth spurt.Are you breastfeeding? If so, I would check your supply. I don't want to make you paranoid or anything, but that is another possible reason for him to be hungry for that long. Also, do you use a pacifier? If so, that might be the reason he is waking often. He also might just need more time to improve his self-soothing. It will come. It is funny, on my end, 10 weeks just doesn't sound like a long time. But I remember when Kaitlyn was first born and thinking about how long it would be before she would possibly be sleeping through the night. It felt like an eternity!
  June 24, 2008 6:41 PM
• Becca said...
  Plowmanators, Thanks so much for your response to my last concerns (June 23rd); I did look into your suggestions and found that my milk supply is ok and we don't use a pacifier. The increased night wakings has never decreased and my lo is now 15 wks. I've been troubleshooting (temperature, diapers, cutting out last nap; dreamfeeds,...)using the info in your posts and just can't find the reason for his waking. I'm thinking he hit a growth spurt, I fed him and then we were in close quarters with relatives for 2 weeks so I just kept feeding him when he woke (even past growth spurt) so it eventually became routine for him to wake. I did discover that he really isn't hungry (but he will feed if I offer)... and could be comforted back to sleep w/o food...which I did all last week. So I decided to start CIO at night Sunday night. Problem is he wakes up 2-4 times at night and it's just so sad to hear him CIO so many times at night. I moved his dreamfeed back to 11 pm in hopes it would keep him full longer and I do feed him and put him back to bed if he wakes up past 5 am but before waketime at 7:30. In reading comments it seems most CIO at night only once per night...have you ever heard of CIO more often in the night? I know it's just day 3 and I probably should be tougher after succeeding CIO for naps, but it's no easier to listen to his cries. Generally he cries between 20 minutes to 1 hour at each waking (with me checking on him every 20 minutes). I know he's just exhausted. Di you think it's wrong for me to do CIO at each waking?? If there's any other solution I'm all ears. I know that he will benefit from better sleep though and will do what it takes. Thanks so much for your input.Becca
  July 30, 2008 5:04 PM
  Becca said...
  I just realized how long my last comment was...sorry about that I should have been more concise...we now have an additional hitch to CIO at night...rolling over. We were finally making improvement at night and now this. I think it's accidental since he never does it during the day. I can't imagine quitting CIO but feel bad that it's an additional thing to learn in the midst of CIO. I read "sleep disruptions" and figure I just have to wait it out; any additional thoughts?? Thanks so much!
  August 2, 2008 1:57 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Becca,It sounds like a tough situation. If you want to try soothing without CIO, I would look into the Baby Whisperer. She has a method for teaching self-soothing that doesn't require CIO. IT does require a lot of effort on the part of mom/dad, though. It might be worth a shot. Until he can learn to get back over, it will be a problem . It sounds like he just needs some consistency. This were disrupted for a long time and he needs to re-learn what things are like. Good luck!
  August 3, 2008 3:30 PM

PHYSICAL MILESTONES QUESTIONS

• Christie said... I know this is unrelated to this post, but could you give me some tips to encourage my 13 month old to walk? She is not walking yet, beginning to worry...:)
  August 25, 2008 11:12 AM
  mmonfore said... Val, I hope you don't mind me offering my advice, but sometimes I can't help myself. Christie, do not worry about a 13-month-old not walking. My older son didn't walk until 14 months and my neighbor's baby was 15 months. I didn't walk until I was 18 months. 18 months is definitely on the late side, but at 13 months I wouldn't worry at all. For us it was just that he didn't realize he could stand on his own. He fell to the floor when I put him down. One day, he stayed standing and from that day on he was walking. A little light bulb went off.
  August 25, 2008 11:27 PM
  Plowmanators said... Christie, I wouldn't worry at 13 months. If you are really worried, talk to your pediatrition. My daughter didn't take her first steps until 15 months and didn't become a real walker (where she walks basically all the time) until 16 months. With my daughter, I would have practice sessions. For her it was mental. for some reason she was afraid of getting hurt even though she never had. My efforts might have helped (and the cheering definitely helped), but really it happened when she decided she was ready. August 28, 2008 9:18 PM

SCHEDULE QUESTIONS:

• Kate said...
  I have 2 schedule questions
  
  1. My daughter is still eating ever 2.5-3 hours. If she wakes up early from a nap during a normal 3 hr feeding is it okay to go ahead and feed her at 2.5 hrs or should I try to keep the same feeding schedule every day. (of course if she acts starving and can't be calmed I feed her)
  
  2. During the first half of the day she can only be awake 1 hour before she takes a nap. If she wakes early, say 12:30 instead of 1and I still feed her at 1 is it okay to lay her down before 2 or should I try to keep to the nap time on a normal day and hold her off until 2?Thanks, hope you're having a fun trip!
  April 22, 2008 12:38 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Kate,1. It is fine for you to wait a bit after she wakes (assuming she is older than 6-8 weeks). See this post: Eat/Wake/Sleep Cycle: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/eatwakesleep-cycle.html You could do a combo of having her be awake for 15ish minutes after she wakes and then feeding her 15 minutes early. But yes, it is okay.
  
  2. If she can go down at normal nap time and still sleep well, then do that. If she is tired or if she doesn't nap well, put her down early. Some babies will sleep until the normal wakeup time to make up for the shortened earlier nap.
  April 23, 2008 10:50 AM
• heather said... It seems like I have seen a post before where you gave a sample of your schedule by months. I'm wondering how a day looks when you drop to two naps. Could you remind me of where to find the post on your daily schedule? Thanks!
  May 19, 2008 8:02 PM
  Plowmanators said... Here are the links Heather: Sample Schedules : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/sample-schedules.html Sample Schedules: One Year and Up : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/sample-schedules-one-year-and-up.html
  May 20, 2008 10:47 AM
• Jordan & Nikki said...
  We have a 10 1/2 week old & for some reason, I am really struggling to get a schedule with her. She is at the 95th percentile for weight, so very healthy. At 9 weeks she had a 3 to 3.5 hour schedule; so I pushed back to a 3 hour schedule to firm up the nighttime and remove that feeding. It worked for two nights - 8 hours of straight sleep. Then, for the last 3 days, she routinely wakes up at exactly a 1 hour nap - isn't really hungry, but is livid until I pick her up. Once I have her, she immediately calms down & is pleasant. I figured it was just a form of the 45-minute intruder & restarted her cycle. Then I questioned my milk supply (I BF); yet, there is still plenty of milk when she refuses to eat more. A few weeks from birth, I quickly found out that she needed to be asleep by 1 hour of waking. We've continued that, but now with the 1 hour naps, that puts us at a 2 hour cycle! After 3 days of a 2 hour cycle I am completely baffled...what in the world is going on?! The last thing I want is an inflexible, difficult child...so I am bound and determined to figure anything out now! Any and all suggestions would be appreciated...I've read the blog entries & evaluated our log...but maybe I'm missing something!
  June 9, 2008 2:16 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Nikki,It might just be one of those bumps in the road that comes along. If so, push through. I will suggest some posts that I think can help in case you haven't read them:
  Naps: Troubleshooting: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/naps-troubleshooting.html
  Waking Early From Naps/Won't Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html
  Getting a Consistent Schedule: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/getting-consistent-schedule.html
  June 11, 2008 10:16 AM
  Jordan & Nikki said...
  Thanks for the advice. I think my problem was that when her daytime schedule seemed off, I reverted to nighttime feedings and dropped "sleeping through the night." I started it anew that night & although it was a very rough first night, the next night had only one waking & she fell asleep on her own in 10 minutes. We are now back to a normal day schedule. Consistency is the key - even when there are bumps in the road! A principle forgotten, but now doubly reinforced.
  June 11, 2008 3:58 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  I am glad you got if figured out. Consistency is key :)
  June 11, 2008 10:51 PM
• The Brace Family said... hi there! getting ready to have #2 and loved reading this our children will be almost the same apart...23 months. we have a boy and are expecting a girl on the 11th of Aug. do you have the schedule for right when you get home from the hospital for feeding? pattern? eat,wake, sleep right? what about 2nd week.thanks for this!!!
  July 25, 2008 11:03 AM
  Plowmanators said... Brace Family, Kaitlyn was in the NICU, so she was on a 3 hour schedule there. She came home and continued that way for several weeks. With newborns, they are so sleepy that you basically set the schedule. I would choose what you want to do to work around the older child's schedule. It is eat/wake/sleep, but you often only have waketime long enough to feed and change diaper. For the first week, you can definitely do no more than the pattern if needed, and if you have hte luxury of help with your older boy. Good luck! It is so fun.
  July 28, 2008 11:34 AM
• Kim said...
  Hi there,My son is 19 weeks old. He has been on a 3 hour schedule for several months. His schedule is:7am- nurse8am- nap10am- nurse11am - nap1pm- nurse2pm - nap4pm- nurse5-6pm- I try to put him down for a nap but he usually will not go to sleep. So I end up just trying to get him to hold out until as close to 7 as possible.6:30-7pm - nurse7:30pm - Because he didn't have that last nap he usually is exhausted by this time so I put him to bed.10pm- nurse then straight back to bed.I have been wondering if I should start him on a 3 1/2 hour schedule. Also wondering if I should drop the dreamfeed and should I start dropping that 4th nap. If I want to do these things, should I do them all at once? Should I stagger them? And if so, which should come first? If I drop that 4th nap which seems to have already happened, how should I adjust the schedule? Is it okay that the waketime after the 6:30-7pm feeding is so short? How do I change that? I am sorry to bombard you with so many questions but I just am not sure what route to take.Thank you so much for your constant help!You are a lifesaver!
  November 2, 2008 3:21 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Kim, definitely stagger. I would do things in this order if he is ready:1-Drop 4th nap 2-Drop Dreamfeed 3-Extend schedule
  
  See the blog labels (on the left side of the page). See Dropping Naps, Dreamfeed, and Four Hour Schedule. Those should answer all of your questions.
  November 10, 2008 3:31 PM

SEPARATION ANXIETY QUESTIONS

• Charlotte said... My 6.5 month old son is recently experiencing separation anxiety and now wails every time I put him to bed. He is still sttn but cries for 30-45 minutes until I calm him down. He gets so worked up that he no longer can calm himself down. How long is this going to last and what can I do to help?
  September 26, 2008 9:10 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Charlotte, I unfortunately don't have any experience with separation anxiety. From what I have read, I don't think it will last a really long time, but could be 2-4 weeks (maybe more). I would be sure he has a long enough waketime before bed (and conversely that it isn't too long), that he has a good, predictable routine before bed, that he has independent playtime, that dad spends good, quality time with him each day and helps with his care...then just hang in there! But I would also go to perhaps babycenter.com and read up on separation anxiety and see if there are any good tips there.
  September 29, 2008 11:23 AM

Reader Newborn Questions

amanda said...

I am recently trying to become a babywise mom with my 2month old. I am having trouble with his routine. Sometimes he sleeps through his 3 hour feed and goes 4 hours. Should I wake him, or should I try doing a 4 hour feed schedule? He sometimes sleeps at night at 9pm or 9:45 then wakes at 7 or 8 am. How do I get him to sleep wake and or should I wake him or let him sleep. He currently takes his naps in his swing during the day, should I try to get him to sleep in his swing? How long is too long to let him cry since he is only 2 months old? Thank s for your help...

December 29, 2008 1:13 PM 

Plowmanators said...

Amanda, definitely wake him to stay on your feeding schedule. He is too young for a 4 hour schedule at this point.

I am unclear with your second question. What do you mean by "sleep wake"?

For naps, I would definitely work on getting him out of his crib and into a bed. That is likely a reason he is sleeping so long.

For CIO, see this post:

CIO Bootcamp: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/cio-bootcamp.html

January 6, 2009 4:01 PM 

Reader Schedule Questions

Returning to Schedule After Disruptions:

• Laura said...
  Hi! I really need some advice. I'm having a lot of trouble getting my 8 week old baby back into a routine. He was consistently eating/wake/sleep every 3 hours and would nap for 2 hours each cycle. Then he had his 6 week growth spurt which lasted a week - he was eating every 2 hours and his naps were unpredictable. Then the next week (last week) we went away for a week and he didn't have much routine (other than eating every 3 hours) then either. Now we're home again and he's eating every 3 hours but I can't figure out when he needs to nap. Sometimes i"ll put him down at 45 minutes and he'll sleep till the next feeding, but usually he'll wake up after an hour, which means there's still another hour before his next feeding. His naptimes are so messed up right now and I really don't know what to do. From what I've read in BW and Baby whisperer, it shouldn't be this difficult, should it? Have you written a post on getting back into a rountine? I couldn't find one. Do you have any advice? Thank you!
  October 18, 2008 3:34 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Laura, usually when they wake early it means they had too long of a waketime, but you would think 45 minutes would be short enough for an 8 week old. See these two posts for help:
  Establishing Consistency--Make Sacrifices: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/establish-consistencymake-sacrifices.html
  Getting a Consistent Schedule: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/getting-consistent-schedule.html
  October 22, 2008 12:10 PM

Sample Schedules:

• Nicole Viola said...
  I was wondering if you give a more detailed one as she's about the same age as my daughter. I've always liked to compare schedules with other babywise moms to see how they do it, plus I'm still struggling a little with her going to sleep quickly at naptime (bedtime is fine). Or maybe you have a link to a previous post that would help me out here, as I'm still relatively new to your blog.Thanks a lot! I really appreciate all your tips, etc!
  May 6, 2008 5:36 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Here are a couple of links to sample schedules: Sample Schedules : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/sample-schedules.html
  Sample Schedules: One Year and Up : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/sample-schedules-one-year-and-up.html
  
  For going to sleep quickly, that is going to be a matter of finding the right timing for her nap. You don't want too little or too much waketime. See: Waketime: Length, Extending, and Calculating: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/waketime-length-extending-and.html
  May 7, 2008 1:59 PM

Reader Nap Questions

Falling Asleep Problems

Hamilton's Blog said...

Valarie,
I just have to say a big Thank you to your blog. It has really helped me try and get this program implemented with our 10 week son Benton.
The problem that I am having this week (2nd week of doing this program) is that he DOES NOT "go down" for naps. Meaning that he will scream for over 45 minutes for at least 4 of his naps a day. I go in and try to put my hands on his belly and tell him it is ok, sometimes i even pick him up, but it seems to only make it worse. How long is too long for him to scream and when do i give up and just get him up for the next 3 hour schedule? He just seems SO upset with all of this.
This morning, i had company over so, i put him in his swing to say my goodbye's and he was OUT when i came back to get him out to put him in his crib. Should I have left him there to sleep for his nap? Because now he is just yelling from his crib from the moment I put him in it. We have not used the swing because of trying to get him to self-soothe for the past two weeks either.
I am at a loss. Will you please offer some advice to this weary mom of trying to become "babywise" because I am really frustrated.
Good new is that he does sleep about 7 hours now at night, but that means I am up rocking him around 4:30 to get him to sleep a little longer...at least until 6:00. He was only sleeping around 4 hours or so.
HELP...ok....i will stop. PLease if you have any time, i would greatly appricate your expertise in this training.
Thanks so much!
Jennie in Indiana
p.s. I don't know much about blogs and trying to find myself aroudn them...so if you need to e-mail me directly...my home e-mail is hamiltonfamily@insightbb.com Thanks again for any advice and time you give to this! :)

December 10, 2008 10:27 AM 

Plowmanators said...

Jennie,

Part of it is going to be you figuring him out. See these posts for help:

Nap Cues : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/nap-cues.html

CIO Bootcamp: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/cio-bootcamp.html

Waking Early From Naps/Won't Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html

I would have left him in his swing once he fell asleep in it. Keep working at it! You will get it.

December 17, 2008 2:30 PM 

Reader Weaning Questions

Weaning From Bottle:

• mommytoisabella said...
  For some reason I am having a problem posting this question under the appropriate title and this is the only place on the blog where I can get it to work.My question is in regards to weaning from the bottle. I read the article you posted. I was wondering at what age did you wean Brayden from the bottle to a sippy cup. Isabella will be 11 months next week and I am wondering if I should start weaning her right now. Also at what age did you stop giving your little ones milk or formula before bed?
  June 26, 2008 3:25 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  mommytoisabella,Brayden had sippys starting at 6 months with water. I weaned him from BFing at 12 months. He had a bottle until he was 13ish months, then we started to wean and took about a month. It wouldn't hurt to start weaning now. See the sample schedules post to see when I did milk before bed:Sample Schedules: One Year and Up : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/sample-schedules-one-year-and-up.html
  June 26, 2008 11:21 PM

Reader Preschooler Questions

Preschoolwise Books:

Melissa said...

Hi Valarie, I am reading your blog from the beginning. Again=)

I wanted to know when did you start Preschoolwise?

I nanny a 3 yo who has been raised on BW, TW, Growing Kids, ect.

November 14, 2008 1:20 PM 

Plowmanators said...

I read it when my son turned 2. I applied what I could for his age. It is more for 3 and up.

November 22, 2008 7:22 AM 

Reader Questions/Comments to Each Other

Four Hour Schedule

• LHS Class of 1998 said...
  Hi Heather,I was following your question a few weeks ago to Val about moving to the 4 hrs schedule. I was wondering how that was going because I am running into the same issue. My 6 month old is totally ready for the 4 hr schedule but his naps don't stretch the entire way and I end up having to entertain him for 30-45 minutes before he is ready to eat. I can't feed him at even 3 1/2 hrs because he is not interested in the least but right at 4 hrs he is HUNGRY. This is totally frustrating because our old 3hr schedule was perfect and easy, we have been doing BW since day 1. But it is so nice to know that you are not alone in this wonderful journey!Thanks! (And thanks again Val for creating this wonderful community of Babywise mommies!)Megan
  May 19, 2008 8:43 PM
  heather said...
  Megan...Yes! It's so glad to know we're not alone! :) I have to be honest and say that we're not exclusively on the 4-hour schedule yet. It really depends on her naps! The one difference between our children is that my daughter will eat anytime i offer to nurse her!!! So, whether that be at 3 hours or 4 hours, she's ready to eat! Because of that, I often give in and feed her if she wakes and it's been 3 hours. I've conditioned her so much to expecting to eat when she first wakes that it's hard to put her off for very long, which is another reason I don't make it to the 4 hour mark at times. I need to work on that! How long does your baby stay awake at a time? Just curious! We usually go around 2 hours, except for early evening is usually longer. It seems like her third nap begins/end too early. ???
  May 20, 2008 6:22 AM
  Elizabeth said...
  I also went through Megan's situation with my son (now 7 months). We moved to a 3 1/2 hour schedule at 5 months, and a 4 hour schedule at 6 months. Since then, his naps have not always perfectly ended right at the time of his next meal. At first I was nervous about this, but he was sleeping enough to wake up happy, and wasn't fussing during that "in-between" time. Consequently, I just let him play until it's time to eat, and he does great. As long as he sleeps 90 min to 2 hours, and wakes up happy, I just consider it "bonus" playtime for him (or cuddle time with mommy in the rocking chair!). The most important thing, at least in our home, is that he wakes up well-rested.We also had the 4-month nighttime troubles, even though Noah had previously been sleeping through the night since about 9 weeks. At first I would get up and nurse, and then later switched to giving him his paci instead and he would still fall back asleep once he had it. My doctor (who is a Prep for Parenting supporter) advised me to let him CIO, since he obviously didn't need the calories. He called it a "trained night crier", and that Noah just needed to learn to self-soothe. Sure enough, after about a week of CIO at night he stopped waking up, and has only had troubles since when experiencing occasional growth spurts.
  May 19, 2008 11:27 PM
  LHS Class of 1998 said...
  Thanks Elizabeth for that great perspective! Waking up happy from naps is wonderful even if before the schedule feeding- this was a major step for us because I had my fair share of the 45 minute naps with my son who just wouldn't go back to sleep (with extensive CIO) and ended up cranky.Heather, yes, sounds like we are dealing with the same issues:-) I also felt like I conditioned my son to eat right when he woke up when we were on the 3hr sch, but after a few times of waiting he was fine. He does play happily now until meal time which I was also nervous about as Elizabeth mentioned above. At 6 1/2 months he usually can only stay awake for 2 hrs - 2 1/2 hrs, except the first cycle once he get up in the morning, he can only last about 1 1/2 hrs until his first nap. I am guessing that once these can be extending his wake times and feeding times will match? Anyone else have experience/encouragement they can share?Megan:-)
  May 20, 2008 9:12 AM

Naps

• Erin Martin said...
  I started my son on BW at 5 weeks. He is now 8 weeks and doing better with napping and night time sleep, paricularly with night time sleep. We are still having troubles with naps ending too soon. I started him on mainly a 3 hr routine to start the day off and ending the day at 2 hrs. This was a suggestion made by a contact mom to help him sleep better at night. So our day starts at 7am then 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 6:30or6:45, 9pm and 11pm, 3:45am or 4am to finish the middle of th night. My son can never make it to the next feeding with the 3 hr schedule during the day but is hard to wake up to feed at 9 and 11pm after he goes down for the night around 7pm. He usually stays awake about 1 hour (including eating) during the day and then will sleep about 1- 1.5 hrs (sometimes with intermittant crying, but lessening as we go) leaving us with 1/2 to 1 hr before he's hungry. Most times I let him CIO because I know he's not hungry but rarely I will get him up. I feel bad not knowing if he's really still tired and should CIO or if he's ready to get up or if I should shorten his waketime to 45min. I've tried shortening waketime a few times but he still wakes up earlier and it may be due to us starting BW late. He will usually fuss after I get him up so I feel he's still tired, so maybe he just needs longer with CIO since he isn't hungry sooner than 3hrs or should I decrease his intake and go to 2.5 hrs and see if he's hungrier then? Maybe I should give it more time at the 3hr schedule or will I confuse him by switching to a 2.5 hr schedule of 7am, 9:30am, 12pm, 2:30pm, 5:00, 7:30, 10pm and Middle of Night feeding? I know I would be skipping a feeding in the evening but he is hard to wake for the 9pm and 11pm feeding anyways and isn't that interested in eating. I know we started BW late, but should I expect him to sleep through the night soon since he's be only getting up once during the night between 11pm and 7am since he was 6 weeks? He is also consistently waking at 3:45/4am everynight and doesn't seem that hungry at that time either and referring to the book, I feel he may be one of those babies stuck on an internal clock, but I don't want to let him CIO at night unless he's ready. He's over 14lbs now, so he's larger than most babies his age and seems to be doing many things more quickly than most babies, but I want to be realistic in my expectations. I just want to do what is right by my son. Any help you can offer is much appreciate.Erin
  October 20, 2008 7:18 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Stephanie, Jenny, and Erin, I apologize--I missed all of your comments until now! If you are still having trouble, please let me know.
  November 10, 2008 3:28 PM
  bando966 said...
  Erin Martin,I read your last post on 10/20 and was wondering how your are doing now? I'm experiencing a similar situation with my 6 week old and wanted to see if you had made any progress and if so, what worked for you?Thanks!
  November 10, 2008 8:06 AM
  Erin Martin said...
  bando966,My son is going to be 12 weeks tomorrow and doing so much better.He started lengthening his naps to stretch our 3 hr schedule and I actually have to wake him half of the time. I'm not sure if there was a trick to it. I think since we started BW late it just took a little longer to get into a routine. One thing I did do, was when he would wake early and wouldn't go back to sleep after 10-15 mins of CIO, I would just get him up and play until feeding time. I thought it might mess up our schedule but it has worked out well and like I said, he usually sleeps straight through to the next feeding. I'm glad I did not change to a 2.5 hr schedule because he does not need to eat that often. I also did not keep up feeding him at 9pm and 11pm. It got to be too much for him to eat. Our schedule is:7a, 10a, 1p, 4p, 7p, 10:30p He has also been sleeping around 7-8 hours at night for the past 2 weeks. I had to let him CIO a couple of nights since he was stuck at waking 3:45am and not wanting to eat, so I knew he was one of the babies stuck on his internal clock. I am preparing to drop his 10:30p feeding in the next few weeks after he's been STTN longer. He's usually hard to wake then and not seeming too hungry so I think it shouldn't be too difficult. BW seemed difficult to implement in the beginning but has gradually become the structure my son and I needed. Let me know how things go. Erin
  November 16, 2008 8:10 AM
  Plowmanators said...
  Erin, I am glad things have improved for you!
  November 22, 2008 4:16 PM

Night Issues

• Libby said...
  Hi.I have a 4 1/2 month old who sleeps well during the day. He has a little cry, then soothes himself and straight off to sleep. But at night time he is very unsettled and doesn't want to go to sleep. At about 5 or 6 I give him a bath, then massage, and then put him down for a nap. He has a big cry, and gets really worked up. After about 40mins I go into his room and put a pacifier in and hold his hand and stroke his forehead. He takes a while to calm down but then does go to sleep till his late night feed. Why doesn't he settle himself at night? and any ideas of what to do?
  October 23, 2008 8:06 AM
  Beth said...
  Hi Libby-He may be ready to give up that late night nap. I was just looking back through my copy of Babywise and it is around 4 months that babies can go to 3 naps a day and give up the late afternoon/early night nap. It might help to try it and see.
  October 23, 2008 11:50 AM
  Libby said...
  Hi Beth,thanks for your comment. I had thought that might be the case. He is showing tired signs, unless that is normal for that time of night (eg. 5-7pm) and I need to just push through it. What time should a 4 1/2month baby be going down to sleep at night? And what routines have worked well?
  October 23, 2008 6:52 PM
  Beth said...
  Libby-My baby is 3 months old, but with my little girl who is almost 3, I did a schedule like this at 4-5 months. I nursed every 3 to 3 hours 15 minutes. I didn't move to a 4 hour schedule nursing until she started eating solids simply because I wanted to be able to keep 5 feedings a day. Some people go down to 4, I just preferred 5 and that worked well for us (I didn't start solids until 6 months). So our schedule looked something like this: 7 am nurse, 8:45 nap, 10:15 nurse, 12 nap, 1:30 nurse, 3:15 nap, 4:45 nurse, maybe a short nap maybe not, between 7:30 and 8 nurse and right to bed. She would then sleep until I got her up around 7 the next morning. When she started solids at 6 months I did 7 nurse, 9 nap, 11 nurse, 1 nap, 3 nurse, short nap around 6, 7 nurse and bedtime at 8. I offered solids at the 7, 11, and 3 nursings after I nursed. We gradually moved to a schedule more like this 7 nurse and breakfast, 9 nap, 11:30 nurse and lunch, 2:00 nap, 5 nurse and dinner, 8 nurse and bedtime and we kept that until she was 1. Hope this helps!!
  October 27, 2008 7:08 AM
  Libby said...
  Beth,Hi, thanks for the info about routines, etc.. it has been very helpful and has given me confidence with what I am doing at the moment with routines. Since holding off his sleep times late afternoon he has been going to sleep without all that crying. He still has a short sleep of about 30mins then wakes for a feed at about 7-8pm, then sleeps all night. Thanks again
  October 29, 2008 1:17 AM

Solids

• blessedwife_mom said...
  This blog is such a wonderful resource. Thank you for all of your great topics. I have a question about solids and dreamfeeds. My LO is 5 months old and has slept consistently through the night(8:30pm to 7:00am without a dreamfeed) for about 2 months. Well, a week and a half ago I introduced her to solids and ever since then she has been waking up early between 5:30am and 6:30am. So to intervene, I started doing a dreamfeed at 10:00 or 10:30. The few nights I did not do a dream feed, she woke up early. With the dreamfeed, she will sleep until 7:30am. Is this normal for a baby to wake up starving even when she is eating more now than before? I try to have her eat more during the day, but she is BF and when she stops eating, she will NOT eat more! She has 5 liquid meals a day and 2 solid meals (cereal) a day. Is there a correlation between starting solids and early waking? I don't think it's gas pains. It's hunger. Do you have any suggestions about the dreamfeed? I feel like we have taken a step backward. Also, I had planned on moving to a 4 hour feeding schedule, but I can't if she won't sleep 12 hours at night.
  October 10, 2008 4:04 PM
  Emily said...
  blessedwifemom...I know I'm not the person you asked ;) But I went through this with my second child. Solids do help some kids sleep through the night b/c their tummy is full, but solids actually have WAY less calories than breastmilk or formula. so the baby feels full b/c the solids digest more slowly, so they take less formula/bm, so then they end up getting too few calories and wake up at night!! It isn't a problem for babies who eat plenty, but for those with small appetites, like my daughter, it was enough that it caused sleep problems. SO, we ended up cutting out solids until she was about 8 months old....once she was basically able to reach off the table and get them LOL! She went back to sleeping through the night right after we dropped the solids.So I'd stick with the dreamfeed if you want to continue with solids...seems backwards I know!! But it sounds like that is the issue :)Hope you don't mind my 2 cents!!!Emily
  October 10, 2008 4:48 PM

Reader Teething Questions

• Sarah said...
  Hi! It's been a while since I have posted a question but I'm always reading/enjoying this blog! My son is almost 21 months now and has always been a great eater. Last week he had a mild ear infection and wasn't feeling that well and started rejecting his favorite foods. He will load them in his mouth, and end up spitting them out. Now he is feeling better and still doing the same thing. I do think he is also teething, but he has NO problem eating treats,etc. I can hardly get him to eat chicken, ham (deli-he used to LOVE this) and also canned green beans, which he used to eat like they were yummy french fries! I am not sure how to handle this...Thanks for any advice!
  January 21, 2009 12:09 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Sarah,I have had a similar situation with Kaitlyn over the last few days. Between teething and some mysterious illness (that gave her a fever of 105.9!), she was not eating, but willing to have her potty treat ;)Teething does have an affect on how much they will eat and what. If it is molars (which I assume it is at that age), then try foods that don't require "gumming", like applesauce, yogurt, etc. He also might like something like frozen peas, which require gumming but are realy cold.Kaitlyn also isn't eating foods she normally loves. I found she will eat plain pasta with a little butter on it really well. Avoid treats. If he has little to no appetite, treats might be filling him up. I understand the desire to get calories in him in any form he will take them, but nutrients are important. He is old enough to be told he can have a treat AFTER he eats some real food, and only immediately after, not several hours. Good luck!
  January 24, 2009 3:44 PM
• The Nilsen's Journey said...
  just wondering if you have any teething advice? (couldn't find it on your topic bar & there's not a tonne on the net regarding teething after 1st year)
  February 5, 2009 9:44 AM
  Plowmanators said...
  There is this: Tips and Tricks: Teething: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/tips-and-tricks-teething.html
  February 7, 2009 6:28 PM

Reader Multiples Questions

BABYWISE AND MULTIPLES QUESTIONS


steffie said...

What's the best way to get triplets on the eat/wake/sleep cycle? They have been on a 4 hour feeding schedule since birth and I REALLY don't want to mess with that. They are gaining weight very well and are used to eating every 4 hours, not to mention with 3 babies this is just how we have to manage it. My question is about the sleeping. The times just don't add up. We feed them then let them play/cuddle/etc. and they are ready to nap after about an hour and a half. We then put them down to nap. They nap anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. That leaves at least an hour before their next feed. What do I do? I did try a week doing the 3 hour feeds and it was a nightmare. They ate less and slept less at night. I don't know how to make them sleep longer, but I cannot let them cry in their cribs for over an hour. First and foremost because they wake each other up and I have two or three screaming babies. When they wake up an hour early or more I can put them in their swings. We then feed the at the normal time and they are immediately sleepy because they've been awake for a long time. We've been doing babywise for about 5 weeks. They are almost 14 weeks, 7 weeks adjusted. They do sleep at night from 7:30-10:00, wake up and feed, 10:30-around 2:00 when they wake up and feed. I dreamfeed them in bed at that time. They then wake up at 6:00 hungry. We put them right back down and they sleep until 9:00. Any help would be so appreciated!
March 2, 2008 12:01 PM

Plowmanators said...
Have you seen this post:Waking Early From Naps/Won't Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html ? Normally, my advice would be to feed when they wake up because they have taken a good nap, but you have tried that without success. You might try adjusting waketime a bit. Often, moving the nap earlier by 5-15 minutes can make a huge difference in length of the nap. But, the longest they should sleep is 2.5 hours. If you moved waketime to an hour and fifteen minutes, they would still be up early (if they slept that long), but only 15 minutes early instead. See this post for more on that idea: Easy Nap Fix: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/easy-nap-fix.html  You have a tricky situation because you are dealing with three individuals. They won't necessarily all need the same nap length and/or waketime length. You can also easily have them waking each other. If one has a rough nap, they can all have a rough nap :)You might need to wait it out until they are old enough to stay awake longer, but some babies might take some time to get there (my 10 month old still has 1.5 hour waketime). I would take a look at the two posts I listed, try some things, and see what happens. Good luck!
March 2, 2008 9:38 PM

Reader Church Questions

Church and Eating

• Emily said...
  I was wondering what you do about solids on Sundays. My 7month DD nurses/eats 7:30(rice, fruit), 11:00, 2:00(veggies, little fruit), 5:00, 7:30(rice,veggies,fruit).We are at church from 1-4 so that falls during a solid feeding. She can eat fingerfoods (baby bisquits, veggie puffs). Should I just let her snack on those at church or should I give her solids at the feeding before or after this one?
  August 17, 2008 3:23 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Emily,I would for sure offer finger foods at church. I would most likely also do solids before church if she will eat them. That way she won't be too hungry at church.
  August 17, 2008 10:58 PM

Reader Questions About Me

• Krystal said...
  Hey, I have been wondering for awhile now if you are LDS? You said something about 3 hr. church, so that's why I was wondering. We also have 3 hr. church, and that is definently a challenging time! It is guarenteed going to disrupt naptime! :)
  April 7, 2008 12:50 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Krystal,I am! You are right, the three hour schedule always disrupts a baby's schedule. :)
  April 7, 2008 9:47 PM
• Rachel Stellaaa said...
  Krystal, I was wondering the same thing. Three hours of church is a killer for my little guy (ok, and for me too). Does any one have any tricks to help their kids who still require naps make it through church--whether that be some magical way of getting them to sleep through church,working around a skipped nap, etc?
  May 23, 2008 9:17 PM
  Plowmanators said...
  Rachel,I recently did a post on church...here is the link:
  Church: Weekly Disruption : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/church-weekly-disruption.html
  May 26, 2008 9:59 AM
• Lorri said...
  a side note having nothing to do with babywise but wondering if you were LDS?
  August 22, 2008 2:56 PM
  
  Plowmanators said...
  Yes, Lorri, I am :)
  August 28, 2008 7:54 AM

Reader Swaddling Questions

Zasha said... Hi there,It's me Zasha again (with a 4 week old son)Thanks for giving me this link. It is a relief to know that there are other babies who cry for 2 hours when put down for a nap and not just mine!What's your take on swaddling for naps ad night sleep? Do you think it would help my baby to self-settle better? I notice that his arms/hands are constantly moving when he's crying it out! His eyes are shut while he's crying but he seems to be disturbed by his own (arms/hands) muscle movements. What do you think? I could be wrong.Thank you again!
May 27, 2008 3:15 AM 
Plowmanators said... Hi Zasha,I swaddled my daughter, and most people do swaddle for at least a short time. I think if your baby will tolerate swaddling, do it. You are right that the "startle" reflex wakes them up. The swaddle helps prevent that. See these posts for more about swaddling: Swaddling: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/swaddling.html Swaddling: When to Stop? : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/swaddling-when-to-stop.html
May 27, 2008 10:54 PM

Lauren said...

My son has always slept swaddled, and I know it helped him sleep better. He is 5 1/2 months now, and his sleep is frequently disrupted when he comes out of the swaddle, both and night and during naps. I think we're ready to wean. I've experimented with leaving one arm out, then the other, and even both arms. I don't know if any makes the difference. I think it's just going to take some CIO. I know it is also interfering with night sleep, so do you think I should still only do naps first, or just drop it altogether? When CIO, he can and often does cry through the entire nap. We're on the 4 hour shedule, so that is a long time. Also, it seems like if he ever does eventually tire enough to fall asleep after crying, it ends up being very close to time for the next feeding and then I absolutely hate waking him when he's only rested for such a short time. I have been known to go 4 1/2 to 5 hours when this has happened just to allow him to get that sleep he so desperately needs. Is this what you would do, or go ahead and wake him, even if he's only just fallen asleep?

December 6, 2008 2:06 PM 

Plowmanators said...

I might drop night first since he would be more tired anyway. Either way is acceptable; you will just have to decide what you think is best for him.

With the 4 hour schedule, I think I would let him nap one transisition that wake him. That means you would wake him after sleeping about 45 minutes. It is just too hard to make up that time to fit all of your feedings in when you are on a four hour schedule. Be sure to check out the blog label CIO for help through the process.

December 11, 2008 4:15 PM 

CE said...

When we tried to drop the swaddle at night, our daughter woke up every hour for 5 hrs. So, I decided to try the nap first. However, her startle reflex ALWAYS wakes her up and then prevents her, I think, from getting back to sleep. I have been trying 1 arm out, both arms out (with trunk still swaddled), but she still startles herself. I haven't been fully swaddling her at naptime, because she is working on self-soothing and sucks her fingers to fall asleep.

Are there any other ideas to help diminish the startle (waking her up) without the swaddle (1 arm or otherwise)?

December 12, 2008 2:18 PM 

Plowmanators said...

None that I know of. That is what the swaddle is for, so she might still need it right now.

December 18, 2008 3:22 PM 

Lana said...

I am curious as to what you use when you no longer swaddle. Do you use a sleep bag or something else? Also, I just started using the Kippopatamus Swaddle Me as you suggested and was wondering if you find it's better to take them out at night to feed them (I breastfeed) or leave them swaddled? Also at what age did you move your kids up to the large size of the Swaddle Me. Thanks so much and God bless!

June 24, 2009 2:09 PM 

Plowmanators said...

Lana,

When I stopped swaddling Kaitlyn, I still wrapped the blanket around her torso. It really was for my peace of mind more than anything. Eventually, I went to those sleep bags that have long sleeves and zip up made by Carters for nighttime and nothing special for naps.

When I stop swaddling McKenna, I plan to go straight to the bags and will likely use them for naps because she absolutel does not like to feel a chill on her skin. She is like me :)

July 17, 2009 8:53 PM 

Linda said...

I have a Miracle Blanket that I swaddle our 10-week old daughter in at night which keeps her fro being startled. Is it ok to keep her in that for 10 hours straight from 8PM to 8AM? I do not unswaddle her for feedings. Also, her naps are all over the place. Should I swaddle her for naps? Thank you very much!

October 22, 2009 11:59 AM 

Plowmanators said...

Linda, I can't speak specifically for the miracle blanket since I don't have one. I have heard they have warnings on how long to swaddle with it. I swaddle my babies all night long, but I use something different, so I am not sure if that matters or not.

I would swaddle for naps for sure. That might improve things.

November 23, 2009 11:43 AM 

babylove said...

My little girl is 6 weeks old today. She has been working her arms out of the swaddle for a week now (we started BW/Baby Wise at week 5). Naps are especially wiggly, she breaks her arms and legs free. I am concerned because she pulls the blanket over her face as she is getting her arms out. I usually sneak in and pull it down. She is able to fall asleep on her own, but not every time. She does much better at night. Once she does get her arms out she keeps herself awake with her arms. She will doze off and then flail. She also usually fights 1-2 naps each day. By fight, I mean she will either sit quiet in her crib awake or playing the doze/wake game; or she will sleep for a very short time and wake up fussy. Both scenarios start with wiggling her arms/legs out of the swaddle. Any thoughts?

September 15, 2010 9:31 PM 

Plowmanators said...

I would try a swaddle blanket. The miracle blanket I have heard good things about. I used the SwaddleMe blanket and really liked it. It is quite inexpensive, also. The swaddle blankets are a lot harder for the baby to get out of than normal blankets.

September 27, 2010 12:59 PM