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Showing posts with label time management. Show all posts

Motherhood Reality Check: Life Doesn't Get Less Busy



Hi young mother. I used to be like you. I sat and daydreamed about the future--not too far away, but far enough it seemed it might never come. The day when my little ones could do a lot for themselves, be in school, and I would suddenly have more time to get the things done that I would like to get done. Me time. Even just time to clean without being interrupted sounded amazing.

One day, when I had only a 3 and 1 year old, I sat with a group of women in all stages of life. I was the youngest among them, and I had a reality check. We were planning an event for the youth in our church. As we discussed a date, one mom with teenagers opened up her calendar. It was FULL. I mean, full.

"So...you don't get more time in your life as your kids get older?" I asked?

She chuckled, "No."

I felt surprised and confused and wondered how that could possibly be. 


When your kids are all older and in school, you aren't trading your current time with babies straight across. You don't trade your exact time with little ones for sudden free time. The older your children get, the more time they need from you. Sure, they can wipe their own behinds and grab their own glass of water. But they need you to run them to soccer practice. They need you to go sit through their piano recitals. You will find yourself attending assemblies and helping in class. 

They won't keep you up at night as they fight falling asleep or wake up to eat, but they will keep you up late needing to talk out a problem they are facing or as you wait for them to come home from a friend's house Friday night. 

You will have more time in the day to do some cleaning and cooking, and good thing you do, because you will need it! The more people you have and the bigger their clothes are, the more loads of laundry you will have each week. More people means bigger meals and more dishes. When you double a recipe, you increase the time it takes to make it. 

You won't be carrying your child everywhere, but you will be driving your child everywhere. Even if you heavily limit the number of items your child is involved in to one activity at a time, if you have four kids, that is four things you are adding to your week. Things that take practices, performances or competitions, and errands to purchase what is needed for that activity

It all adds up. 

Life only gets busier. 

Over the years, I have had several people tell me life only gets busier as kids get older. I have been counseled to take on big volunteering jobs at the school while my children were all younger because it just gets hard as kids get older (I have heeded that advice).

I  have never been told that life only gets busier like I did the day I registered Brinley for Kindergarten. Friends, teachers, and even the principal at our school told me throughout the day that life only gets busier. Getting your last child in school does not lead to tons of free time. "It never slows down until they all move out" our principal shared with me. 

So what is the point of this? Am I trying to majorly depress you? 

Not at all! 

I think this is a lesson to enjoy the moment. Do not wish your time away. Do not count away your days with young ones in hopes of having some major free time in a few years. It changes. It gets easier in some ways, harder in other ways, but never less busy. Learn to make the most of what time you have, because time is a commodity you won't have in excess for a long time. Learn to manage, prioritize, and work with the time you are given. Live in today. Seize the moment.  Enjoy what you have, because tomorrow you will have different challenges. 

How to Be Productive as a Mom

Work smarter, not harder. This is a common piece of advice given to those wanting to be more productive in life. Just how do you go about "working smarter" as a mom? The harder part seems to be part of the nature of the job as "mom." Can we be smarter? Yes indeed we can!

And we have good reason to. It is easy to say "dishes can wait," but at some point, they really can't! You have to do certain chores at some point. We also don't want to let our children's lives pass us by with us having not participated in them. If we can work smarter, we can play some. Here are eight ideas to get you going.

1. Put the Lord First
I promise, promise, promise that if you put the Lord first in your day, your day will be more productive. Make it a priority to read your scriptures and pray. You will see a difference. I do this in the morning each day. I notice a significant negative difference when I either forget or decide I am too busy in the morning and wait until later in the day to read my scriptures (especially because that usually means it doesn't happen since it is out of my normal routine). See my post on Time With God and How I Do It: Scripture Study for more.

2. Set Goals
If you don't have goals for yourself to accomplish, you will pretty much aimlessly wander throughout each day. You will be like a dog running along to fetch a ball who gets distracted by a squirrel. You will jump from task to task as it captures your attention. You might get some things done, but you will likely realize you spent times on things that weren't necessarily the priority at the time. Set some long-term and short-term goals you want to accomplish and then break those down into ways you can work on those daily. For help with goals, see Goal Tips and Making and Achieving Goals. See also:

3. Have a Plan
Once you know what you are trying to accomplish, you can make a plan to get there. Each night, I look through my to do list for the next day to see what I need to get done. I make a list and prioritize it. I know what must get done and what is just "nice" if I have the time. I find it can help if I even just visualize myself going through my day with the plan I have. It sounds corny, but doing that helps me recognize flaws in my plan so I can readjust the plan. Keep a list wherever it works best for you. I like mine on my phone. You might carry a piece of paper folded up on your pocket or write it on a huge white board in your home. You might even be lucky enough to still be able to track things in your head. So long as you can keep that list, it doesn't matter where it is. But experiment. I definitely have preferences on where and how my list is kept.

4. Relieve Your Brain
This is referred to in number three, but have things written down. You won't be as efficient if you are having to worry about remembering the next five things you need to get done. As a mom, you also likely have too many things to keep track of to be able to do so all in your head. Write things down so you can focus on the task at hand and give it the attention it needs. I  have read a great recommendation to spend 15 minutes just writing down everything that is in your head--everything on your mind. You then take all the items and group them by priority and length of time to get done. Do the things you can get done in two minutes or less (it is amazing how many "small" things we carry around on our lists. If we do them, we can relieve them from our brains!). Then make a plan with the rest. 

5. Schedule Things Out
In your planning, schedule things out in a way that works for you. How will you be most productive in your cleaning tasks? Will you do better having specific tasks you must accomplish no matter how long it takes? Or will you do better with a time limit you spend cleaning no matter what gets done? Maybe a joining of both methods--have a specific task you do and then finish up with a fifteen minute speed clean? There is no one right way for all people to do it, but there will be a best way for you to do it. For more on organizing yourself, see my post on how I do it

6. Do Dreaded Tasks First
I just find I am more productive if I do my dreaded tasks first thing. I have my tasks that have to be done because of time constraints on them (for example, my kids have to be ready for school by a certain time). Then I do my cleaning tasks of the day. I have found if I let the cleaning go until afternoon, I often find myself at the end of the day having not done it yet. I work best just getting it done and over with. I also find I need to not let my computer time start until the afternoon if possible. I can easily let the many possibilities of the computer turn into a time suck. I try to do everything I need to away from the computer before I sit down at something that sucks my time.

7. Don't Overschedule Yourself (and don't underschedule either)
I am still trying to figure out the fine balance between stretching and challenging yourself and not overextending yourself. If you have too much to do, you will never be productive (see my post We Don't Need to Live at a Frantic Pace). But I also find if I don't have enough to do, I easily waste time and get nothing done. Why move to the list when there isn't much to do? Candy Crush awaits! I try to find the perfect balance of having things to do to keep me moving and working and not having so much to do I can't do anything well.

8. Be Preventative
Slow and steady work. Do your work consistently to prevent having to put out fires later. Consistently taking a few minutes to do the dishes makes it easier for you to manage that task than ignoring them for a couple of days (or for some of you even just a day or 12 hours) and having to play major catch up. 

These are some ideas to help you be as productive as you can be. This will enable you to find greater balance in getting things done you need to and still have time to spend having fun with your family.

How To Get Stuff Done as a Busy Mom



Reality check. Life doesn't slow down. At least not in my experience. You think life will get simpler, but it really only ever gets harder. I think we live with this expectation that some day life will "return" to what it once was. What it was before something big happened that introduced some busy. Having a baby is one example. We spend our baby years believing that once our babies have gotten older, we will have more time.

HAHAHAHAHA!

Um, no.

Life seems to only succeed in getting busier as time goes on. Moms are busy. It doesn't matter if you are a working mom, work from home mom, or a stay at home mom, you are a busy! You have things to do but also want to be a part of your family's life. We want to be more than background noise in our children's memories!

A huge difficulty as a mom is to find ways to stay up on your necessary house tasks while still allowing time to be a mom in ways other than a housekeeper. This post isn't intended to give you the pep talk on "spend time with the kids, not time cleaning." Yes, we all want to spend time with our kids, but we do also have things we need to do each day, and that is okay! The trick is figuring out how to best accomplish those things so there is still time to fulfill other roles in your life. Here are some tips on getting those tasks done efficiently and with wisdom.

1-Have a Plan/Schedule

I find it very helpful to have a cleaning plan and schedule. I have certain days I clean certain things each week. I also make a plan for what additional things I want to get done during the week.

To see more details on how I manage my chores throughout the week, see this post: How I Do It: Chores. To see how I plan my meals, see this post: How I Do It: Meals.

2-Make Lists

I keep lists of things I need to get done. I have always been a list maker, and I have noticed as I have gotten more children and as my children have gotten older and busier, I really need lists just to free up some head space! I can't keep it all in my head. I used to do lists with paper, but I now use my iPhone. I put stuff in my list as soon as I think of it. I initially used my Notes on the iPhone. I now use two different apps. 

For my personal "to-dos" I use Mom's Daily Planner by Yadahome.com. I just use the free version and so far only use the "to-do list" function. It has been very helpful for me in organizing my to-dos. I can categorize and prioritize my lists. I can assign due dates and look at what is only due that day, which makes the list more manageable  I can also look at the entire list of what I have open if I need to.

For keeping the entire family on the same schedule, my favorite app is Cozi. We also use the free version of this. My husband and I have the same app, and when I put something in, it updates on his phone as well. We keep our family calendar on it. We also keep our shopping lists on it. You can also have "to-do" lists on Cozi (good place for a honey-do?). 

Lists help me keep track of everything I need to get done and where I need to be. 

3-Start with Scriptures

I find that when I start my day with scripture study, I am able to get so much more done in my day. I have found this to be true ever since I was a teenager, and I never miss an opportunity to share about it. Put it to the test!

4-Let Things Go

If you are feeling overwhelmed and like you don't have the time or means to do it all, figure out what you can let go. Sure, cleaning the blinds monthly would be great. But how much do you NEED to do that? Just think through the expectations you are putting on yourself and cut back where you can. For more on this idea, see my post Pregnancy: Think Through Abilities. It is directed to pregnant mothers, but it can easily be applied to all situations where you need to cut back. You can also see "Good Sacrifice vs. Foolish Sacrifice" and "Slow the Pace."

5-Don't Clean All Day

It took me until my third child to figure this one out. Don't clean all day! When you have young kids, you can easily spend the day following them around and cleaning everything up as they go. Then you get frustrated when a new mess is made because you just cleaned that area! One Dad I know was left to be a "stay at home dad" for a week while his wife was away. He started complaining about cleaning all day and I told him to just let it go. You will find you are a nicer parent when you pick once or twice a day to focus on picking up the house. See more on this under 9 below--Work as a Family.

Now, you want to balance this idea with the good practice of having your children clean up after themselves. With young children, you need to help them clean. So you do want to instill good habits of cleaning up after themselves, but that doesn't mean you follow them around cleaning the trail they leave behind them--that is not teaching good habits.

6-Early To Rise

This one isn't very popular, but if you can get up early, you will find you are able to get so much more done in a day! Getting up early means you are up before your children, and we all know doing things without the help of our children is much faster and easier than doing it with the help of our children :). So, even just an extra thirty minutes in the morning could do a lot for your "to-do" list.

7-Keep Things Presentable

My main goal for my house these days is just to keep things presentable--keep things in a state that if I had an unexpected visitor, I wouldn't be totally embarrassed. This is definitely easier said than done, and I have plenty of embarrassing visits, but it helps give me an end-goal that I can focus on for each day.

8-Pretend Company is Coming

I once had a friend comment on Facebook about how much faster she worked when company was coming over. Isn't that so true! If you want to clean your house in a hurry, pretend company will be there in 15 minutes. Clean like crazy for those 15 minutes.

And of course, actually inviting someone over can accomplish the same thing. Company coming is a great clutter-reducer for me :)

9-Work as a Family

When I decided a few years ago to stop cleaning all day long, I figured the best time for things to get very clean was right before bedtime. My children are all required to help clean up before bed. Everyone helps clean, then we do our bedtime routine, then the kids are put in bed, and the house is clean for about 12 hours! 

A great thing about doing this is that the children think about what kind of mess they are making because they know they will be cleaning it up. You don't have to do this before bed--you can pick any time of day.

10-Hire It Out

Sometimes you just need to hire it out. Many families I know who have both parents working find hiring someone to come in and clean 2-4 times a month well worth the investment. I "hire out" my children to help me with deep cleaning--I used deep cleaning as the jobs they can do to earn money. You might find there is something you want to hire out, whether it is a neighbor teenager, a professional, or your own children.

Conclusion
As life gets busier, work to figure out how to make it doable for you. Adjust things here and there to be able to still get chores done around the house but still be present with your childre.

Good, Better, Best


Back in 2007, before I even started this blog, I heard a talk given titled "Good, Better, Best" by Dallin H. Oaks. The opening line was "Most of us have more things expected of us than we can possibly do." I had a 2 year old and a 5 month old and that line had me hooked. I know for me in my life, that has only become more true over the past 8 years as I have added two more children and  have taken on little things like this blog, being the director of a musical each year, and currently being the president of the PTO at my children's school...so yes, things have only gotten busier. 
We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.
That is really just the plain and simple fact that we have to face at some point in life if we want to maintain our sanity. Just because something is a good thing to do does not mean we should be doing it. There are countless good things to do in life. Our world is full of rich opportunities for growth and opportunity and we just can't do it all. Our lives could take many different paths, but we can't take them all. 
Consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, or reading books or magazines. Of course it is good to view wholesome entertainment or to obtain interesting information. But not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it. Some things are better, and others are best.
Not everything "is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it." This was true in 2007, but it is even more true in 2015 and I suspect it will become even truer as time progresses. The iPhone was first released in 2007. Before the iPhone, it was not commonplace to have a computer with you at all times. I personally didn't jump on the train until 2010. Before then, I was unplugged from the Internet for most of the day. I didn't have it in my pocket, able to pull out any time I felt a tinge of boredom. Now it is there all the time. 

In March of 2015, about 700 million iPhones had been sold. This is total, so obviously that doesn't mean 700 million people have them. That is just the iPhone. Nearly two-thirds of Americans own a smart phone. That means two-thirds of us have instant access to the Internet almost anywhere we go! 

With this rise in smart phone usage, I have seen more and more parents looking for tips on how their friends control themselves with time spent on the smart phone. I have been a mom long enough to watch this shift happen. We spend a large portion of our lives pinning things we will never again look at, reading interesting articles, seeing who is offended by what on Facebook...we also pin things we will use (sometimes). We connect with friends and family through our phones. We can capture any moment with our smart phones. There are good things we can do with our devices...but is the portion of our lives we are giving to it the best way to spend that portion of time? Could we do the best things available with our phones and leave out the good parts?

We also live in a world full of rich opportunities for our children. Most parents are eager to provide their children with every opportunity possible. Sometimes we overschedule out of fear. We fear if we don't do all of the things available, our children will miss out on opportunities later in life--and sometimes that fear is perfectly justified. 

The trick is to remember the good, better, best hierarchy. If we do not have time to spend together as a family, the we are leaving out the best part for what is good or even what is better. If we can't possibly squeeze in time for family prayers and for studying the scriptures together, we are leaving out the best part. Our children also need free time. We need to have mealtime together as a family. Why?
...the time a family spends together “eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.”3 Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs.4 There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.
We, the modern day parents, are pioneers. We are raising children in a world never before seen. We do not have the benefit of wisdom of our elders to ask, "How did you handle cell phones? What age did you get cell phones for your children?" and so forth. We can certainly get opinions, but no tried and true efforts. 

That is why this idea of good, better, and best can be of utmost value to us. As you decide how to spend your time, your family's time, and allow your children to spend their time, always weigh the good, better, best. We really only have time for the best part. 

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Organizing Your Time


I love to organize. I am naturally an organized person and I have great thrill in life getting myself and keeping myself organized. Some of you may be thinking, "Eh--well I am not an organized person and could never be so, so this post is not for me." You can become better at the things you want to be better at. Heber J. Grant once said: "“That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing is changed, but that our power to do is increased." As you work at being more organized, you will get better at it. Here are some strategies for you to improve your time management.

Prioritize
Earlier this week I posted on Prioritizing Your Time. Please read that if you haven't. 

Keep a List
You really need a way to keep track of the things you need to do. You might use apps, a notebook, a planner, a sticky note, a planner...whatever works for you works. Just make sure you have a list of the things you need to get done and the places you need to be. 

Keeping a list helps keep you on task. This is a basic of goal-setting, and your usage of time each day should be essentially a goal. You want to have a goal to use your time wisely. 

You also want to outsource your brain. When you are a mom, you wear so many hats that it is challenging to keep track of everything that needs to be done. Keep your lists in your preferred method so your brain is free to focus on the task at hand. 

Baby-Steps
It is wise to take a task and break it into several manageable tasks. So let's take sewing something for an example since I am currently making Halloween costumes. You have this large task of needing to make a costume. You can break that into smaller steps. One day, your goal might be to cut out the pattern pieces. The next day, it might be to cut out the fabric. The next might be to sew the project. Another might be to hem. As mothers, we rarely have a huge chunk of time to tack a project all at once, so breaking it down into manageable tasks you can fit into your day will help you be more effective with your time and get things done. Just be realistic in your baby-steps. 

Know and Think
Now that you have your priorities and you have a list of things that need to be done, you can apply the method of knowing and thinking. Since you have outsourced your brain, you need to check in with that brain so you know what is going on. It does you no good to outsource if you never consult back. 

Early each week, go over what is going on during the upcoming week. In our family, we do this during our family home evening each Monday night. This way, we all know what is upcoming for the next week and know what to expect. 

Each evening before I go to bed, I look at the schedule for the next day so I can think through and prepare anything that I might need to prepare. It helps me hit the ground effectively the next morning so if anything needs to happen right away or if I need to be ready earlier than usual, I make sure that happens. 

Around breakfast each morning, I then review the day, my to-do list, and decide what we will have for dinner that night (from my list of meals for the week). For me, having dinner as a family each night is a high priority, so I make sure I have things prepared and ready to make that happen. See 

Prioritizing Family Meals for more on that. 


Completing Tasks
Now you are ready to actually start completing the tasks you have before you. 

Small to Big
A great strategy for paying down debt is to pay off your smallest debt first, then apply the money that went toward that debt to your next smallest, and so forth. This strategy is also effective for getting things done. Each day, you will have small and easy tasks before you and larger tasks that will take more time. I find it effective to do the easiest and fastest tasks first. This frees my mind to focus on fewer things that day. It also helps me feel motivated and good about my time spent because I get a lot of things done. If you take on the biggest project first, you might find the day ends and that is all you accomplished, and it leaves you feeling discouraged. 

Do Not Multi-Task
Women are natural multi-taskers, and sometimes multi-tasking can be your friend in trying to get things done. You can visit with a friend while you iron. That kind of multi-tasking is fantastic. Some multi-tasking can actually decrease your productivity, however. 

I am talking about when you are cleaning a room. You then take something to put it away, and while there, you see your laundry that needs to be folded, so you pause the room cleaning and do some folding. Then you take the laundry to put it away and notice your bathroom is a mess. As you are putting away the random items that were trailed into the bathroom that morning, you see an email pop up on your computer so you sit down to respond. 

This is classic "Laura Numeroff"--you know--If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and the like? You are doing a lot of things but not really accomplishing any one thing. Stay task oriented. 

Set Aside Chunks of Time
Like I said earlier, it is hard to have large chunks of time to get things done when you are a mom. I have a list of things I like to get done in a week. I have my cleaning, blogging, some crafting, and I love to have some time to read a book if I can, also. For a while, I would try to do some of each every day, and for a while, that worked for me. At some point, I realized it was no longer working. I was "Numeroffing" it. 

My current system is to have a day for things. One day of the week is my laundry day. On this day, my main goal is to get laundry done. Naturally there are other things that need to be addressed, like taking care of children and feeding the family, but the main goal of the day is laundry. If I get done early, I can do something else.

Tuesday is my blogging day. This is the day I try to get everything done for my blog that needs to be done for the week. Wednesday is crafting day. Thursday is read a book day. Friday is cleaning day/family history day. Now, if something comes up (and it often does), I can cut out doing crafts or I can cut out reading a book. I don't live and die by this, but it is a way for me to organize time and a way to dedicate times to different areas of my life I really want to focus on.  

Do Most Important First
You might have something that needs to be done in three weeks that is of high interest to you, but you need to make sure you take care of that thing that needs to be done by tomorrow first. 

Have Hobbies
You will notice I have time set aside to do hobbies. Many hobbies are for the family--any crafts I make/sew are for the kids or home. Reading is for me. 

M. Russell Ballard said: "...even as you try to cut out the extra commitments...find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children."

Having some hobbies will help you to have the mental "umph" to help your family out. 

Do Not Procrastinate
When it comes time to do tasks, don't procrastinate them. I once read a quote from Spencer W. Kimball that said procrastination is "...an unwillingness to accept personal responsibility now." I mean, ouch right? Do it now. Nothing is more stressful than having to get stuff done at the last minute. If you think ahead, you can spend the same time on tasks but do them ahead of time. 

Also, do not get in your own way. We often drag our feet while doing tasks we don't like. Just move out of your way mentally and even physically and get the task done. 

Remember Life is a Journey
Life is a journey, not a destination. Just remember as you work toward having this time management that you are working toward your journey. There will always be things to do. The to-dos will never stop. You have to make sure you are willing to be flexible and that you make time to have fun and spend time with your family. Make sure that is part of your list (plug for not procrastinating, if your tasks are not "fire" situations, you can be more flexible with them). Your point in organizing your time is to make sure you are able to focus on the essential, so do not let lists get in the way of relationships. 

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Prioritizing Your Time


The first step in time management is to prioritize your time. A lot of thought and care can and should go into this. 

Prioritize
We have only been given so much time a day. You have to prioritize the things you will devote that time to. Recognize that time spent is time gone. Be wary of certain mind-numbing activities that can easily suck your time. One such example is surfing social media sites. Social media is a fun way to connect with others. If you find it is a major time suck, you might consider setting a timer and when it goes off, you leave the social media behind you and move on to other tasks. Let's talk about ways to prioritze. 

Scripture Study and Prayer
My number one piece of advice for people who are looking to be more organized and effective with their time is to put the Lord first. If you take nothing else away from this, take this. This is the winner right here. Do your scripture study in the morning. Be sure to say your morning prayers. When I was a teenager, I remember my voice teacher once sharing with me how she had so much to do that day, but she felt she needed to make sure to put the Lord first. She did and she was able to get everything done she needed to. This has always stuck with me and I have always found it to be true in my life; when I put my scripture study and prayers first each morning, my days are much smoother. 



Good, Better, Best
When it comes to prioritizing, one of the best tools you can use is to analyze the idea of good, better, best. There are many things in life you can do that are good. Some are even better. Only few are best. Be sure you are focusing on what is best first. Then if you have time, you can add in what is better. I kind of think that as mothers, at that point we are full, but if not, choose some good things to spend time on after that. As Dallin H. Oaks put it, "...just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them." 

I also liked this thought on media, "Consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, or reading books or magazines. Of course it is good to view wholesome entertainment or to obtain interesting information. But not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it." emphasis mine

Some things may seem harmless, and they are harmless, but always think, is this worth the portion of my life I am giving to obtain it. As you choose how to spend your time, be sure you fill it with the best of your choices. 
Choose What is Essential
Along the same vein, I have recently talked about what is essential

I also wrote on how to figure out what is essential and have created some printables for you to use to figure that out. 

Optimize Your Pace
We all have different capacities. At different times in our lives, we will be able to handle different loads. Learn to be in tune with yourself and keep the pace that works for you

Dieter F. Uctdorf said: "When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be."

In determining your own pace, Uctdorf counsels that we focus on four key relationships in our lives: with God, with our families, with our fellowmen, and with ourselves. Evaluate yourself in each of these areas and see where you need to improve and where you need to cut back. 

We don't need to live at a frantic pace. Julie B. Beck once said, "A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important."

We really do yearn to do a lot as women. Being a mother changes you. It softens your heart. You want to help everyone in every way you can. But you can't do it all. Remember your time and season. Beck gave these suggestions:

  • We are doing well when we develop attributes of Christ and strive to obey His gospel with exactness. I would point out here that in order to do this, we must pray and study scriptures so we are familiar with Christ and His commandments. So make these matters a priority each day.
  • We are doing well when we seek to improve ourselves and do our best. 
  • We are doing well when we increase faith and personal righteousness.
  • We are doing well when we strengthen homes and families.
  • We are doing well when we seek out and help others in need. I wanted to point out here that you should not forget to recognize that your family, your children, are others who are in need. Do not think that this statement means you need to be out in the community each day doing massive volunteer work. Find things you can do and still attend to your small children. One thing I often do is make dinner for people who are sick, pregnant, hurt, busy, in mourning, or recently had a baby, etc. It gets to be simple after you have done it a few times. You just make extra of your dinner and you have some great service!
Make Wise Sacrifices
Being a parent means you sacrifice a lot. Organizing your time will not mean you are sitting back and sipping your favorite drink of choice with your feet up. There will be many things you do because it is what is best for your children--from feeding them to taking them to lessons.
"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for." desiringgod.org
Learn to make wise sacrifices. Don't make yourself the martyr. Dieter F. Uctdorf said, "An acceptable sacrifice is when we give up something good for something of far greater worth."  There are many times in life we can and should sacrifice for things. Those are wise sacrifices. Other times, we sacrifice things unwisely.

There isn't some laundry list of things that are good sacrifices and things that are unwise sacrifices. " Every person and situation is different, and a good sacrifice in one instance might be a foolish sacrifice in another." What is wise for you may not be wise for me. What is wise for you today might not be wise for you in six months. A huge trick is to figure out what is the wise move at the moment.

"How can we tell the difference for our own situation? We can ask ourselves, “Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?” There are so many good things to do, but we can’t do all of them." Dieter F. Uctdorf


Do Not Overschedule
In your prioritizing, a painful step will be analyzing your activities and be sure you are not overscheduled. If you are, find what you can cut. Dallin H. Oaks warned, "The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities also needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be overscheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated. 

M. Russell Ballard also discussed overscheduling. "We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, Scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, “Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.” Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together."

Prioritizing is a huge step in effective time management. Once you are spending your time on the essential things in life, it is much easier to fit them all in.

Keep a List
You really need a way to keep track of the things you need to do. You might use apps, a notebook, a planner, a sticky note, a planner...whatever works for you works. Just make sure you have a list of the things you need to get done and the places you need to be. 

Keeping a list helps keep you on task. This is a basic of goal-setting, and your usage of time each day should be essentially a goal. You want to have a goal to use your time wisely. 

You also want to outsource your brain. When you are a mom, you wear so many hats that it is challenging to keep track of everything that needs to be done. Keep your lists in your preferred method so your brain is free to focus on the task at hand. 

Baby-Steps
It is wise to take a task and break it into several manageable tasks. So let's take sewing something for an example since I am currently making Halloween costumes. You have this large task of needing to make a costume. You can break that into smaller steps. One day, your goal might be to cut out the pattern pieces. The next day, it might be to cut out the fabric. The next might be to sew the project. Another might be to hem. As mothers, we rarely have a huge chunk of time to tack a project all at once, so breaking it down into manageable tasks you can fit into your day will help you be more effective with your time and get things done. Just be realistic in your baby-steps. 

Know and Think
Now that you have your priorities and you have a list of things that need to be done, you can apply the method of knowing and thinking. Since you have outsourced your brain, you need to check in with that brain so you know what is going on. It does you no good to outsource if you never consult back. 

Early each week, go over what is going on during the upcoming week. In our family, we do this during our family home evening each Monday night. This way, we all know what is upcoming for the next week and know what to expect. 

Each evening before I go to bed, I look at the schedule for the next day so I can think through and prepare anything that I might need to prepare. It helps me hit the ground effectively the next morning so if anything needs to happen right away or if I need to be ready earlier than usual, I make sure that happens. 

Around breakfast each morning, I then review the day, my to-do list, and decide what we will have for dinner that night (from my list of meals for the week). For me, having dinner as a family each night is a high priority, so I make sure I have things prepared and ready to make that happen. See 

Prioritizing Family Meals for more on that. 


Completing Tasks
Now you are ready to actually start completing the tasks you have before you. 

Small to Big
A great strategy for paying down debt is to pay off your smallest debt first, then apply the money that went toward that debt to your next smallest, and so forth. This strategy is also effective for getting things done. Each day, you will have small and easy tasks before you and larger tasks that will take more time. I find it effective to do the easiest and fastest tasks first. This frees my mind to focus on fewer things that day. It also helps me feel motivated and good about my time spent because I get a lot of things done. If you take on the biggest project first, you might find the day ends and that is all you accomplished, and it leaves you feeling discouraged. 

Do Not Multi-Task
Women are natural multi-taskers, and sometimes multi-tasking can be your friend in trying to get things done. You can visit with a friend while you iron. That kind of multi-tasking is fantastic. Some multi-tasking can actually decrease your productivity, however. 

I am talking about when you are cleaning a room. You then take something to put it away, and while there, you see your laundry that needs to be folded, so you pause the room cleaning and do some folding. Then you take the laundry to put it away and notice your bathroom is a mess. As you are putting away the random items that were trailed into the bathroom that morning, you see an email pop up on your computer so you sit down to respond. 

This is classic "Laura Numeroff"--you know--If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and the like? You are doing a lot of things but not really accomplishing any one thing. Stay task oriented. 

Set Aside Chunks of Time
Like I said earlier, it is hard to have large chunks of time to get things done when you are a mom. I have a list of things I like to get done in a week. I have my cleaning, blogging, some crafting, and I love to have some time to read a book if I can, also. For a while, I would try to do some of each every day, and for a while, that worked for me. At some point, I realized it was no longer working. I was "Numeroffing" it. 

My current system is to have a day for things. One day of the week is my laundry day. On this day, my main goal is to get laundry done. Naturally there are other things that need to be addressed, like taking care of children and feeding the family, but the main goal of the day is laundry. If I get done early, I can do something else.

Tuesday is my blogging day. This is the day I try to get everything done for my blog that needs to be done for the week. Wednesday is crafting day. Thursday is read a book day. Friday is cleaning day/family history day. Now, if something comes up (and it often does), I can cut out doing crafts or I can cut out reading a book. I don't live and die by this, but it is a way for me to organize time and a way to dedicate times to different areas of my life I really want to focus on.  

Have Hobbies
You will notice I have time set aside to do hobbies. Many hobbies are for the family--any crafts I make/sew are for the kids or home. Reading is for me. 

M. Russell Ballard said: "...even as you try to cut out the extra commitments...find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children."

Having some hobbies will help you to have the mental "umph" to help your family out. 

Do Not Procrastinate
When it comes time to do tasks, don't procrastinate them. I once read a quote from Spencer W. Kimball that said procrastination is "...an unwillingness to accept personal responsibility now." I mean, ouch right? Do it now. Nothing is more stressful than having to get stuff done at the last minute. If you think ahead, you can spend the same time on tasks but do them ahead of time. 

Also, do not get in your own way. We often drag our feet while doing tasks we don't like. Just move out of your way mentally and even physically and get the task done. 

Remember Life is a Journey
Life is a journey, not a destination. Just remember as you work toward having this time management that you are working toward your journey. There will always be things to do. The to-dos will never stop. You have to make sure you are willing to be flexible and that you make time to have fun and spend time with your family. Make sure that is part of your list (plug for not procrastinating, if your tasks are not "fire" situations, you can be more flexible with them). Your point in organizing your time is to make sure you are able to focus on the essential, so do not let lists get in the way of relationships. 

Related Posts:

Figuring Out What is Essential


I wrote the other day about a great quote about realizing that only a few things are essential in life. 



As I have been pondering this quote, it got me thinking that to truly put this quote into action, I needed to write these things down. So I created a page titled "What is Essential?" I then created a few categories to put things into that I do and set out about writing down the things that take my time in these spaces. 

As I wrote, I realized I really needed a page for what is important and a page for what is good as well. This way I can put down everything I am doing into one of these categories. Brayden asked if I was going to make a page on what was no good and I told him no--if it doesn't make any of my lists, I probably just don't have time for it. If I feel like I need time for it, then it should be on one of these three pages at the minimum. 

I have been filling in my pages. My plan is once I have my daily activities filled in, I will then look at my pages and plan my days. I will make sure there is time for what is essential. Once I am sure I have adequate time to accomplish the essential each day, I will add in important things. If there is time after the important is done, I will fill in with the good. 

These things don't have to all be tasks or things that take great effort. I do think that it is important to take time to rejuvenate and take time to have fun with those you love. 

Let me explain my categories a bit. I made a list of categories I think are essential in life. I then studied my chart of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and compared what I had down to the things accepted as needs in general.
  • Lord/Service: This category is pretty self-explanatory. This would be things like prayer, scripture study, service toward others, church work, etc. If you are not religious, you can still use this section to make note of the service things you do each day.
  • Health: Health is a basic need section. This would be things like food, water, sleep, hygiene, cleanliness of home, exercise, etc.
  • Relationships: Here you will put things pertaining to the relationships you have in life. This may include spouse, children, parents, siblings, family, friends, neighbors, etc.
  • Work/Education: There are things that you must attend to in these categories so they are here. You might be educating your children through homeschool. Your children might have homework. You might have work goals you need to attend to.
  • Blank: I left the bottom section blank for you to add anything you feel like must be there. You all will have a variety of things that will need to be attended to by you on various levels (from essential to good). Think about security issues (savings, food storage, emergency preparedness, home safety, etc), goals you have set for yourself in life, creative outlets you have, hobbies, and more. 
I won't presume to tell you what should go on the essential page, what should go on the important page, and what should go on good. That is for you to prayerfully contemplate and decide. I think "essential" in many cases will vary among people (though there are some I would consider essential to all). I will suggest that there should be things in each category that really are essential. 

Here are some bitmap images of the 3 files. If you click on them, it will open them in a new window and you should be able to print them from there. If that doesn't work out, I have also uploaded PDF files on my Google Drive.