Showing posts with label extra curricular. Show all posts

Why You Should Let Your Child Be Bored This Summer

The benefits of boredom for children and why you should let your child be bored. Why being bored is good for your child.

Our children are growing up in a fast-paced environment. With all of the modern conveniences we have before us, we rarely have to wait for anything. We don't even need to wait for commercials before continuing on with our show. If we want to talk to someone, we can pretty consistently get a hold of them via text, cell phone, or social media pretty instantly. If we want to know the answer to a question, Google is right in our pockets. We have endless opportunities for communication and stimulation.

Because of this, our children rarely have a chance to get bored.

We also live in a world where we can compare ourselves to thousands of people very similar to ourselves (and millions of those dissimilar). While we used to only be worried about keeping up with that Jones family, we now have families all over the world we can try to keep up with. So we mothers look around on our favorite social media sites (it doesn't matter which one) and see what at least hundreds of other mothers are doing with their children. We don't look at ONE mother, we look at hundreds. Then we try to keep up with as much of what they are doing as a whole as we can. We try to take the best highlights from so many people that we completely overbook our lives with fun ideas.

Because of this, our children rarely have a chance to get bored.

Then someone writes an article about how you only have 18 summers with each child, and 18 is a very small number. We then feel a level of panic that yes, we really do need to pack these amazing things in because 18 isn't very many and time is running out!

Because of this, our children rarely have a chance to get bored.

Today I want to tell you why you should let your child get bored. Let your child get bored this summer, next weekend, and any other day of the year. It is not only okay to let your child get bored, it is good.

Boredom leads to imagination and creativity

When you have nothing scheduled to do, and you are faced with either doing nothing or creating something to do, you are going to create it. Your child will not choose to sit and be bored for long. She might try. She might stage a sit-in, proclaiming her feelings of boredom as she tries to wear you down so you will solve the problem for her or at least default to electronics. If you hold your ground, and make it clear that you don't mind if she is bored, she will find something to do. Studies have found boredom leads to more imagination and problem solving.

We do a technology fast for one week of every month, and during that week, my children are the most self-driven. They try new things. They play with each other more. They make up games. They draw. They read. They end up having a really great week!

When you are bored, you are motivated to try and solve problems. Humans are great at solving problems if they will give it a try! Boredom gives time for people to need to solve problems.

Boredom leads to interaction

Along that same thought, when my children are bored, they will turn to each other to come up with something to do. Even 12 year old Brayden will find something mutually enjoyable to do with 5 year old Brinley when it is just the two of them and they are bored. A big part of that is Brayden wanting to make Brinley happy; the interaction strengthens their relationship and bond.

Boredom forces you to face yourself

I read on Psychology Today that:

"So what boredom does, effectively, is to open the shutters on some very uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, which we normally block out with a flurry of activity or with the opposite thoughts or feelings."

I mean, I love that boredom forces us to face things. Burying thoughts, feelings, and emotions is not healthy, and if boredom helps us have to face those things, I call that a win for mental health. It is also a great way to get to know yourself. If you are forced to find something you like without another person directing your efforts, you will be more apt to find something you enjoy and get to know yourself better.

Boredom can lead to finding new hobbies

When you have nothing to do and want to find something, you will be more willing to give things a try. This might lead to you finding a new talent or new joy in life.

Boredom fosters independence

Think about it. If your child never has a moment to figure out what to do with himself, how does he learn how to function alone or independently? If your child gets bored, he has time to learn how to function on his own.

Conclusion

When your child tells you he is bored this summer, don't let yourself feel guilty. Don't run through the hundreds of things you could be doing but aren't doing. Instead think, "Good. I am glad I gave you that opportunity." Your child will develop his imagination, his creativity, hobbies, and perseverance through working through boredom. So as you plan out your schedule for this summer, leave time for boredom. Don't be afraid to keep openings in your schedules and let your children really know what bored feels like and let them work through that.

Dare to let your child get bored.

How to Balance Multiple Schedules

One of the biggest concerns parents have when they are expecting their second child is how to attend to the needs of more than one child. How do you make a schedule work for a toddler and fit in with the schedule of a baby? This post outlines how to balance schedules when you have more than one child.

When you have just one little cutie at home, it can be pretty easy to attend to the needs of that one schedule. It isn't always easy mentally (sometimes you just get so sick of schedules), but physically, it is possible to appease the one schedule most of the time.

When that second one comes along, it can get tricky. Those two schedules don't always line up and sometimes they full-on conflict with each other. While you are willing to sacrifice some of your own sanity for the schedule, you realize sometimes you have to sacrifice the baby's schedule for the older child's sanity. So how do you do this?

RECOGNIZE NEED vs. DESIRE

The first thing you need to do when figuring out how to balance the schedules is to really identify what the needs are of each family member. What does each family member truly need? Look at meals, naps, bedtime, personal care, exercise, and social interaction.

Once you know needs, write down times/days these things need to happen.

Next, identify the desires/wants. What do the children want to do? With a baby, it is all about needs. A baby's needs take up the entire day. Identifying wants will be for your older child(ren), you, and your spouse. Write down the frequency, days, and times of these desires.

You will likely see some conflicts happening at this point. Something you know is what are needs and what are simply wants.

You can read more about Balancing Baby's Needs With Family's Needs here. You can also see ideas for Meeting Needs of Each Child here.

BE CREATIVE and FLEXIBLE

Now is the time you figure out how to work all of these things together. First, work in needs. Figure out how you can feed your baby and have your older children occupied at the same time. Figure out things like what to do with older children while you are putting baby down for a nap. How will you work baths for all children? When will they all eat?

Once you get the needs figured out, see how you can work in the wants. Figure out how you can work in wants without having to impact needs where possible. If you feel like your older child needs to get out of the house, consider doing so without disrupting the baby. You can get a babysitter or take your child out while your spouse is home to stay with the baby. If you do take your child out with the baby, I find it best if you let the first nap happen at home for baby. Then you can go out for a cycle and have a nap on the go and be home in time for the third nap. Another thing that works is skipping a nap later in the day. Leaving that first nap at home is super helpful to a baby.

If you do take your baby out with you, try to think of ways to allow baby to sleep. I have had my babies sleep in pack and plays in empty rooms in the church for family parties. They have slept in pack and plays on the beach while we played. They have slept in strollers or carriers, and of course the car seat. Have a way for your baby to sleep on the go. This will make it so baby is more pleasant while out.

When I had my fourth child, my three older children had activities they were involved in. I didn't want to cut those activities if I didn't have to. I worked our activities so that we carpooled with other moms. My mom helped take one of my daughters to dance and back each week. See more ideas like this here: Managing Baby Plus Older Kids' Activities.

Always remember, wants are just wants. If a want is negatively impacting another person's needs, it is time to cut the want out for a while. It isn't a bad thing for family members to sacrifice for each other. Sacrifice breeds true love. See Baby Joins a Family {AND} Family Adds a Baby.

SACRIFICE WISELY

When you do require a sacrifice of a need by a family member, do it wisely. I touched on this above, but respect the first nap of the day for baby. You will create sleep issues that will be very hard to fix if baby never sleeps at home. Your baby will be able to have a better day if you have the first nap at home. If your older child is at one nap, respect that one nap. Your child might be able to go down late or early if he/she is flexible (I have had a couple like that), but don't ask for more than your child can give unless you have to.

One time when my second child was 3 months old, we were at a family function with my husband's family where she skipped her last nap and her bedtime was late. She was up screaming all night long that night, where she previously had been sleeping almost through the night (getting up about 5 AM hour for the first time). I learned then that the sacrifice we asked of her that night did not work for her and we never repeated it with her (and frankly any other child that followed!). Once you learn what works and doesn't work for a child, respect it. They will each have their own thresholds.

HAVE PLANS DURING NEEDS

Children have a lot of needs and you can't always attend to them all at the same time. I have some posts with ideas of what to do with children.

You will also want contingency plans for when your children have needs that come up outside of normal needs. Baby is on a growth spurt and needs your attention all day, what will you do? What will you do when your baby wakes up early from a nap and you are in the middle of something with an older child? What will you do when your older child is sick and your baby needs something?

Don't drive yourself crazy and don't stress it out. These scenarios happen to everyone. You will face the ones I listed and more. Also remember, many a baby has cried in the crib because she woke early and mom was in the middle of a bath with the older sibling (and actually, this was something that taught me that many times a baby goes back to sleep when left alone for ten minutes). Many an older sibling has watched more TV than was ideal because the baby was sick or on a growth spurt and took all of mom's time, attention, and sanity that day. It will be okay!

Do your best to balance out the schedules. Respect the needs of all family members and try to meet all needs, but allow family members to sacrifice when needed. Remember, needs of children change often. You aren't facing a life sentence with any need. The needs will change and become more flexible with time. Keep the big picture in mind and you will be able to handle it all with more grace.

Quick and Easy Meals for Busy Nights

It is currently soccer season for us, and soccer season means that we have a lot of busy nights. This has never been more true than this spring since it is our first time having four children playing soccer. That means we can have 8 games a week. We have 5 practices a week (Kaitlyn practices twice a week). My husband coaches two of the teams and is the assistant with Kaitlyn's team. Oh, and did I mention we are still working on our house addition (you can see progress photos on Instagram!).

I know we aren't the only ones out there with busy seasons. We all need great ideas for busy night meals. Here are some of my favorites. I would love to hear yours!

Breakfast for Dinner

Breakfast foods typically do not take a lot of time to make. Having breakfast for dinner is a great option for a busy night! Various pancakes, breakfast burritos, quiche, omelets, waffles...so many options.

Slow-Cooker

Ah the good old slow cooker. Another great, classic option for your busy evenings. I try to always have one slow cooker meal worked into my weekly meal plan. I have shared some of my favorite recipes in the past:

I have these two books below I reference often when I need slow-cooker ideas. They even include how-tos on changing any recipe you love into a slow-cooker recipe. These are both affiliate links.

Instant Pot
The Instant Pot is the new slow cooker. I have been testing the waters with the Instant Pot and it is a great way to cook something faster. It can also be used as a slow cooker, so you can have your cake and eat it to with this one machine.

One of my favorite things I have tried in the Instapot is this curry soup from Six Sisters' Stuff. Something to keep in mind when turning to the Instapot is that it takes time for it to come up to pressure. So you might think something will take 30 minutes, but it takes 45 because of the coming ot pressure time. Just keep that in mind as you are planning out what to do for dinner and when you need to start. This is the Instant Pot I have and love (this is an affiliate link):

Sandwiches
Hey some nights are going to need to be a sandwich night. My kids love these nights because I allow any kind of sandwich and they can choose what they like. Peanut butter and jelly, meat and cheese, grilled cheese...sandwiches don't have to be boring. Even fancier ones can be done rather quickly. Add some avocado or some pesto sauce to a turkey sandwich and it takes that sandwich up a notch! Don't forget about things like egg salad sandwiches, sloppy joes, and BLTs! Add some raw fruits and veggies for a fast, easy meal.

Pastas
A lot of pasta dishes can be cooked rather quickly. Even if you make the sauce from scratch, a lot of them can be done in 20-30 minutes. If I want to do spaghetti and meatballs on a busy night, I will put the meatballs in the slow cooker all day with the sauce, then I only need to cook the noodles when I get home. We love salad (which can be made ahead of time), green beans, or asparagus with our pasta dishes.

Salads
The first time I made a salad for dinner, the kids approached with trepidation. Salads are for sides, and they envisioned starvation ahead. Now they love it! Salad with some grilled chicken...some homemade dressing...delicious!

Leftovers
If your family will eat leftovers, having a busy night be leftover night is a great way to get dinner done.

Favorite Recipes
As you go about your food-making year round, take note of the recipes you like that are fast so you can turn to those on your busy nights. Beyond the general categories I have shared, some specific

recipes I like are:

Tacos
Asian Lettuce Wraps from (affiliate link -->) Our Best Bites
Chicken Salad Sandwiches. I have TONS of recipes for this and I love them all.
Stir Fry from (affiliate link -->) Our Best Bites - side note. I super love Our Best Bites. Aaanndd they have a 30 Minute Meals list on their blog. So you're welcome.

Extra Tips
If you are having a buy night, you will have so much more success with dinner if you plan ahead a bit. Make a meal plan for the week. Think through each day and take note of the ones you will need something fast for. I typically like to leave my meal plan fluid, meaning I just choose 7 meals for the week and decide as I go which I will make which day. During busy seasons, though, I assign ahead of time so I am sure I get the fast meals on the busy days.

At breakfast each day, decide what you are having for dinner and do any prep that needs to be done. That way you aren't at 3 PM realizing you needed to do a slow cooker meal that day. Oops.

What are your favorite meals to make on busy nights? I would love to hear ideas!

Extra Curricular Index

McKenna Child Summary: 7.5 Years Old

This is a summary for McKenna from 7.25-7.5 years old.

EATING

Eating is great. All is the same, which means all is well.

SLEEPING

Sleep is also great, but we had some interesting tweaks to get there. During the summer, McKenna was able to get more sleep at night, and it made a dramatic impact for the better on her disposition and attitude in the day. Once school started, she was arguing with me and grumpy. I talked last time how she was not contradictory once she was able to sleep in during summer. Well, that is fine except during school year, she can't sleep in until 8 or 9 each morning. That meant she needed an earlier bedtime.

That meant we needed to switch up the evening routine. Up until this point, we have always read family scriptures together in the evenings as part of our evening routine and before bedtime. I decided we needed to move family scriptures to the morning before school so that in the evening, we don't have to wait for the full family to come together to get the bedtime routine done. That way I can more easily put a child to bed earlier than others. This makes a lot of sense as Brayden is getting older and Brinley is still four, anyway.

As soon as we started that, McKenna was able to get more sleep and she has been great!

PLAYING

Playing is great. McKenna has a fun spot in the family where she gets to have fun with older siblings and younger. She gets to do "bigger kid" things and "little kid" things. The middle child position has a negative reputation, but this is a big perk!

SUMMER

Summer was nice for McKenna. She had fun with family. McKenna took swimming lessons and took one short dance class (four classes). She wanted a summer of a big break off of things, and she enjoyed that. I wondered if she would like it once it was in effect, and she did.

SCHOOL

Once school started, McKenna was ready to have some extra activities, also. She is taking gymnastics and dance class and has been playing rec fall soccer. She also has her piano lessons. We do swim lessons every other week during the school year, also.

READING

As McKenna has gotten to be a better and better reader, she wants to show how big she is by not having me read to her. I am not sure why she things this shows her maturity; I still read to Kaitlyn and have only not been reading to Brayden for a few months (which I don't love; I am needing to rethink that whole scenario). I told her I still want to read to her each night and told her being read to helps her brain get smarter.

DECISIONS

McKenna had a big decision this time period. She passed off all of her swimming skills and was told she could join swim team. This is two years younger than Brayden was when he joined. She was thrilled. The girl loves to swim.

The trouble for her is that she loves pretty much every sport she has ever tried. As I started to write down our fall schedule, I quickly realized that if she wanted to do swim team, she was going to have to drop gymnastics. We couldn't manage both time-wise as a family.

At first, she said swim. Then she said gymnastics. Then swim. And so on.

While she is young, I am a believer in letting my children make decisions like this for themselves. She asked me what I thought and I gave her my input. I told her I thought she should choose gymnastics. She is already able to swim at swim lessons. If she stopped gymnastics, she wouldn't have access to a gym.

McKenna is also very tall for her age. I think her days as a gymnast are numbered. I may be wrong; there are some taller gymnasts out there, and maybe she will end up being a shorty. But I think I am most likely right. She loves gymnastics so much that I think she should do it while she can. Being that she is two years younger than Brayden was, who was pretty young so far as most swimmers are when they join, her swimming years are long ahead of her.

Life would be easier for me if she went swim. Brayden is already there, and she would be on a different level of swim team, but practicing at the same time. The cost is very similar each month. So my advice was pure logic based on what I already explained.

I told her she should make a decision and then pray to know if that decision was the correct one. She did and she felt good about it. She hasn't regretted it.

McKenna will face this many times in her future. She is very athletic and she has a personality type who loves everything she does. She especially loves being active, so she loves all sports and she is good at them.

Summer Schedule:

During the days, we did chores (I increase the number of chores done during summer months since they are home more), get ready for the day, practice piano, practice reading, independent play, SSR, free play, and family time each day.

SCHEDULE

School Schedule:

7:00 AM--wake up. Eat breakfast. Get ready. Do morning chores. Read scriptures. Practice piano.

9:15 AM--school starts

4:00 PM--home from school. Homework. Then free play.

5:30 PM--Dinner. Then time with family.

7:00 PM Start getting ready for bed.

8:00 PM--in bed

GOOD BOOKS

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Choosing a Coach/Teacher...How to Find the Right Fit

I look back on it as one of my biggest parenting mistakes ever. Perhaps it is my worst mistake. At the time, I wasn't sure what was the best thing to do. As I reflect, I regret the way things panned out. I regret the path I allowed my child to take. Or the path I left my child on, rather.

Kaitlyn was in first grade. She had taken dance since she was three years old and had always loved it. While we loved the studio we were at while she was young, Kaitlyn proved to outgrow it. At the end of her Kindergarten year, we decided it was time for more challenge.

After some asking around, we settled on a studio that had been open for 30 plus years. I heard great things. Soon after starting the dance year, Kaitlyn started to express dislike for dancing. This was quite the shock since she had always loved it. I decided to hang around dance instead of dropping her off and running errands. I couldn't go in the room, but I could sit in the waiting room and from there, I could hear everything.

What I heard was shocking. The teacher was unkind, to put it mildly. She told these little six year olds things like "That wasn't good enough!" and "If you aren't good enough, you can't be on the front row!" "We will do this over and over until every person has it perfect!" These things were all said in a gruff tone. I wouldn't have been happy with the way the teacher was talking to the girls under any circumstance, but this was a recreation class of 15 six year old girls. They were not competitive dancers.

Kaitlyn is a peacemaker who does not like conflict. Her way of dealing with conflict is to avoid it. She wanted to avoid it by quitting dance.

I hoped Kaitlyn would be put on the front row so I could go complain to the studio owner about this teacher. I knew if I complained after she had been put on the back row I would look like a disgruntled parent.

The next week, the girls were placed and Kaitlyn was put in the front and middle. Hurray! But I discovered a major road block. This mean teacher was the studio owner's daughter. I felt stuck. I decided against saying anything.

And that is my moment of regret. I regret not going to the studio owner to stand up for my daughter. I was not alone. The class was full of parents who were upset and frustrated. We sat by week after week while our girls were verbally abused by this teacher. By the end of the year, only 5 of the 15 girls were willing to continue dancing at that studio. Most were unwilling to continue dancing at all. Kaitlyn was one of them.

The interesting thing is that McKenna also danced at this studio. She also had a daughter of the owner. McKenna's dance experience was very different. She LOVED her teacher and her teacher was so sweet. She loved dance.

But I couldn't risk one of my daughter's getting the mean teacher again, so we jumped studios. I apologized to Kaitlyn and promised to never leave her in a situation like that again.

I talked Kaitlyn into trying dance one more year on the condition that it would be a different studio. Within a month of being there, Kaitlyn begged to add a second dance class. This is the girl who was ready to quit dance and walk away forever. As a third grader now, she still takes dance and absolutely loves it!

The business you send your child to and the teacher/coach your child has are both HUGE contributors to the quality of experience your child will have. Those two factors will determine if your child enjoys the activity or not.

It isn't a simple thing to teach or coach a child. You need to be in control, yet have love and respect for the students. You need to expect the best from the child, but not perfection. You need to encourage and uplift. You need to believe in the child. You also need to push the child. The child will not enjoy it deeply if the child is not pushed to try harder and be better. Who your child has as a coach or teacher does matter.

Your child's teacher or coach will shape your child's view of work ethic and effort. McKenna takes gymnastics. In her gymnastics experience, she changes coaches every time she moves up a level and also each summer and each new school year. She has had coaches who pass off anything close and coaches who will only pass off perfection. Some coaches are noticeably better at getting the children to do their best and learn the most they can. She has had coaches who really seem like a waste of time and money.

The right coach or teacher is a big deal. Not only does your child learn about the sport/instrument/etc. from that person, but life lessons. So how do you find the right fit? And what do you do if the fit is not good?

1-Ask Around

Ask your friends and neighbors where they recommend. Ask people who are similar to yourself or who have children with similar dispositions. If you are type A and ask your type B neighbor, she will have a different measuring stick than you will.

2-Ask Questions

When you are considering a coach, studio, or teacher, treat it like a job interview. Ask their policies on dress, attendance, behavior, skills, etc. Ask about philosophies and goals. When Kaitlyn wanted to start playing competitive soccer, my husband talked extensively with her potential coach. After talking with him, Nate felt good about him. Nate felt the coach's values, goals, and coaching style were in line with what we wanted. We have not been disappointed!

3-Test Run

Once you have a good feel for who you might like, give it a test run. Many studios have summer camps. This is a great way to try a place out without committing to a full year. Some places allow you to try a class out before committing. Our gymnastics gym is this way. My children have been able to try a class 1-2 times before deciding if they want to do it.

4-Decide on Quitting Policy

Most things start out fun, but once the honeymoon wears off, there can be a "I don't want to!" come from your child. Most adults I know who were above-average good at something wanted to quit at one point and their parents wouldn't let them. In general, it is wise to have a "no-quitting" policy. You can reevaluate at a natural break--like in between seasons or before a new payment is due.

5-But Have Flexibility

We are big on no-quitting. What I didn't do with Kaitlyn was allow for extenuating circumstances. In retrospect, I should have looked around for a studio that would have accepted her halfway through the year (many do) and moved as soon as the winter recital was done. I knew it was a bad situation, I knew she had always loved dance, and I knew she was not being lazy or dramatic.

6-Have Patience for Volunteers

If you are having frustration with a volunteer coach for a recreational sport like soccer or basketball, have some patience for the coach. It is very easy to sit on the sidelines and criticize a coach's decisions. Being a coach means you have a lot to think about all at once and it is harder to focus on your players and the game before you while also taking a step back and think things through. If you don't like it, resolve to be the coach next time.

I actually think anyone who complains about a volunteer should step in and do the job the next time. People will usually stop complaining once they realize what it is like to do the job.

You even need to have patience for those getting paid sometimes. At our current dance studio, they have been open for only a few years. There are growing pains associated with a start-up. I have recognized they are figuring some things out, and the owners have recognized those things also. They are evolving and changing and going through trial and error. In the meantime, the dance instruction is great and Kaitlyn loves to dance, so we can be patient with things like revues that go way too long while they get it figured out.

7-Do Address Problems

Like I said, I regret not sticking up for Kaitlyn when she was in that situation in dance. I did what I thought was best at the time. I view that teacher as a bully and often bullies make life harder on whistle blowers. I didn't want her making things even more miserable for Kaitlyn because her mom complained.

Since then, however, I have not hesitated to go to an authority over a teacher if I feel the teacher is out of line. It has only happened once since then and the outcome was positive. Don't let every bad look ruffle your Mama feathers. Your child isn't perfect and neither is your child's teacher. Only address real problems, not every time an ego is hurt.

8-Recognize Growing Opportunities

In life, we deal with difficult people and difficult situations. Learning to deal with those can be a great time to help your child grow. Don't rescue your child from every teacher or coach who isn't perfect. Give the situation a fair shot and only take action when your child is being negatively impacted in a long-term way. Children need to learn who to handle personality conflicts. If your child is in a short-term activity, like a sport that lasts two months, I would recommend just sticking it out unless you think it is really super damaging.

9-Assess Regularly

After each session of whatever you are doing ends, evaluate the situation. Is your child's piano teacher still a good fit? If not, find a new one. Like I said, we initially loved Kaitlyn's first dance studio. It was a great studio for a young dancer. She got to the point, however, that she outgrew it. She needed more of a challenge.

Conclusion

In the end, you want a teacher or coach who will inspire your child to love the activity. You want your child to learn and grow, but you don't want your child pushed so hard that your child loses a love for the activity. Do your homework and trust your gut.

Today the ladies from the BFBN are talking about different aspects of trusting your children in the care of others. Go visit their blogs to read more!

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Follow Babywise Friendly Blog Network.'s board Sports, Dance, and Athletics on Pinterest.

Going to Your Kids' Games Prepared

This wasn't exactly the vision I had in mind. Most things in the real life of parenting aren't, but this almost seemed insane. My feet were soaked. My bones were cold. Here we were, grown adults, sitting in a downpour, huddled under umbrellas maybe. Some were just in coats. Then you looked at the children!

The children were running around in the rain, feet splashing along, shoes getting more and more wet with each step. Their hair was matted to their heads. Unlike their parents, however, they were having a grand time.

This is spring soccer in Utah.

And that is just one aspect of spring soccer. We can have bright, hot sun at Saturday's game and a snowstorm during Tuesday's game. We experience the full spectrum of the seasons during our soccer game experience. Fall soccer is usually more mild overall, but still offers a full range of weather.

As a novice spectator, you spend your games pretty cold or hot. You go home and take 3 hours to defrost or you go home suburnt. It is always an adventure. As you attend these games and look around, you start to notice something. There is a handful of people who come and go from the games unscathed. These people are pros. It is obviously not their first soccer season as a spectator. These people are prepared.

We have been soccer spectators as parents for seven years now. I think we have finally figured out the best of the best for spectator equipment at games. We really solidified this after Kaitlyn joined a competative soccer team. That's when you get your best schooling. Suddenly, soccer runs spring through fall, not spring and fall. If we thought an 80 degree noon game in April was hot...oh just enter the July tournament when the days are at 100 degrees. 20 degrees can make a big difference.

When you see 90% of the parents watching these competitive games have the same types of items to protect themselves, you know they are legit. This is what we use to protect ourselves while watching outdoor sports. This post contains affiliate links.

Sport-Brella

The Sport-Brella Umbrella is everything it is cracked up to be. You can have it tipped (as shown in the picture. When it is this way, we can fit my husband and me in front. We can also fit 2-3 kids sitting in the back of it on their small camp chairs. This works well for the storms--from rain to wind to snow. It can also work well for just a sunny day. You can also leave it up just as an umbrella. This way works well for sticking in the ground and giving yourself some shade. This is the number one most common item parents have who watch sporting events outside. I was a little hesitant at first to get this just because it is about $50. That isn't a TON of money, but a lot for an umbrella! It has been handy in many cases, though. We have taken it to the water park, to parades, to countless games, camping, to the beach...once you have it, it is very handy in your life. We used to use our Quik Shade before getting the Sport-Brella. The Sport-Brella protects better, is easier to carry around, and can be set up by one person. Definitely better.

Umbrella Stand

If you get an umbrella, then you will like an umbrella stand. It helps get the umbrella solid in the ground. It is especially helpful in dry months because the ground is much harder.

Blankets

We keep a few blankets in our vehicle at all times in case of emergencies. Blankets are very helpful for those cold games! You might also find something like an Outdoor Blanket handy. This is a weather proof blanket for putting under you. It can be nice for sitting on damp or dirty ground. Outdoor blankets are easy to clean. We use our outdoor blanket more at the park or beach than at sports games, but we always have it in our vehicle and pull it out when the need arises.

Chairs

You will want to have some chairs to sit on. We always just use our camp chairs. We can use these camping, at a myriad of sporting events, swim meets, in the yard, at parades, at fireworks...We like these chairs best and it is the type of chair I see way more than any other. I think most people camp around here, so people tend to own them already. They fold up compactly and are easy to port around.

Sunscreen

Sunscreen is wise to have on hand whenever you are out in the sun. Of course it is best applied before you leave home, but better late than never.

Layers

You want to dress in layers and you want your player in layers (unless it is really hot!). Wear rain

coats, winter coats, wind breakers....He a long-sleeved shirt on, a sweat shirt...keep your shoes appropriate for the weather. Hats and gloves might be necessary. For my players, if it is a cold day, I really like Under Armour under the jersey. It helps keep them dry and warm. It wicks moisture away and dries quickly.

Squirt Bottle

In the heat, a simple squirt bottle can go a long way. You can cool your players and spectators down with a nice spritz.

Water

Very little is more annoying than a thirsty child. Oh the whining! Of course we usually think to bring water for the player. Bring water for the spectators, too! If not, you will either be giving your player's water to the other children or listening to some incessant complaining.

Food

We don't do "all day snacking" at our house. We actually rarely snack at all. I am all for having snacks at games, though. It keeps kids happy while sitting and watching a sport they have little interest watching.

Extra Balls

If the game will be in a location that allows it, bring along extra balls for your other children to play with. Just know, odds are you will one day lose a ball. We lost two basketballs this past season even with our name and phone number on the balls. A game gets over and people just pick up balls and go. You have to be willing to take that risk if you take a ball. Your payoff is entertained children.

Team Treats

If your child is on a team that has parents bring treats (which I really don't love, but it is the reality of life), I have found it to be wise to just put some treats in your vehicle at the beginning of the season. It is no fun to arrive at a game and realize it was your day to bring treats. We have also had situations where the person whose turn it is forgot and we have had our treats on hand to pass out for them.

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Good, Better, Best

Back in 2007, before I even started this blog, I heard a talk given titled "Good, Better, Best" by Dallin H. Oaks. The opening line was "Most of us have more things expected of us than we can possibly do." I had a 2 year old and a 5 month old and that line had me hooked. I know for me in my life, that has only become more true over the past 8 years as I have added two more children and have taken on little things like this blog, being the director of a musical each year, and currently being the president of the PTO at my children's school...so yes, things have only gotten busier.

We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.

That is really just the plain and simple fact that we have to face at some point in life if we want to maintain our sanity. Just because something is a good thing to do does not mean we should be doing it. There are countless good things to do in life. Our world is full of rich opportunities for growth and opportunity and we just can't do it all. Our lives could take many different paths, but we can't take them all.

Consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, or reading books or magazines. Of course it is good to view wholesome entertainment or to obtain interesting information. But not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it. Some things are better, and others are best.

Not everything "is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it." This was true in 2007, but it is even more true in 2015 and I suspect it will become even truer as time progresses. The iPhone was first released in 2007. Before the iPhone, it was not commonplace to have a computer with you at all times. I personally didn't jump on the train until 2010. Before then, I was unplugged from the Internet for most of the day. I didn't have it in my pocket, able to pull out any time I felt a tinge of boredom. Now it is there all the time.

In March of 2015, about 700 million iPhones had been sold. This is total, so obviously that doesn't mean 700 million people have them. That is just the iPhone. Nearly two-thirds of Americans own a smart phone. That means two-thirds of us have instant access to the Internet almost anywhere we go!

With this rise in smart phone usage, I have seen more and more parents looking for tips on how their friends control themselves with time spent on the smart phone. I have been a mom long enough to watch this shift happen. We spend a large portion of our lives pinning things we will never again look at, reading interesting articles, seeing who is offended by what on Facebook...we also pin things we will use (sometimes). We connect with friends and family through our phones. We can capture any moment with our smart phones. There are good things we can do with our devices...but is the portion of our lives we are giving to it the best way to spend that portion of time? Could we do the best things available with our phones and leave out the good parts?

We also live in a world full of rich opportunities for our children. Most parents are eager to provide their children with every opportunity possible. Sometimes we overschedule out of fear. We fear if we don't do all of the things available, our children will miss out on opportunities later in life--and sometimes that fear is perfectly justified.

The trick is to remember the good, better, best hierarchy. If we do not have time to spend together as a family, the we are leaving out the best part for what is good or even what is better. If we can't possibly squeeze in time for family prayers and for studying the scriptures together, we are leaving out the best part. Our children also need free time. We need to have mealtime together as a family. Why?

...the time a family spends together “eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.”³ Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs.⁴ There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.

We, the modern day parents, are pioneers. We are raising children in a world never before seen. We do not have the benefit of wisdom of our elders to ask, "How did you handle cell phones? What age did you get cell phones for your children?" and so forth. We can certainly get opinions, but no tried and true efforts.

That is why this idea of good, better, and best can be of utmost value to us. As you decide how to spend your time, your family's time, and allow your children to spend their time, always weigh the good, better, best. We really only have time for the best part.

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Planning Lessons/Sports/Activities--Choose the Right Time of Day

Let me tell you a little secret. The time of day you schedule activities such as lessons or sports really does matter. The time of day will have a huge impact on your child's enjoyment and ability to participate well as well as the flow of the family at home and how stressful this added activity is or isn't to the family.

My husband always tells me there is no way we would be able to have the kids do what they do without my planning ability. I want to share some things I do to make sure the kids can do their activities without it taking over every single minute.

Do NOT Plan:

Too Late

If you are a person who has a consistent bedtime for your kids, you do not want a time that is too late. Kaitlyn once had a dance class that got over during bedtime when she was in first grade. It was the only time offered at the studio. I really should have just went to a different studio (hindsight). She was too young to handle being up late. She did not like dance at all that year. A huge part was the teacher, but a little part was also that she was just tired there.

This year, her dance class is again at bedtime (different studio). However, she is now old enough that it isn't a problem for her. If I had to take all of my kids along with me, I wouldn't have stayed at the studio, but the other kids can be at home getting ready for bed so it works out.

If you have a younger child, like I do with three year old Brinley, make sure you avoid scheduling things right around nap time. I did her dance class at 10 am so that she is fresh and happy.

During Dinner

Any time your child is doing an activity during dinner, you need to be very aware and make accommodations for this. You either need to have a good snack before the activity or move dinner up that day so your child can eat before the activity. This happens for us often during soccer season. A game will be during dinner and the child will run out of steam fast because it is dinner time. Instead of eating, the child is expending energy.

During Free Play

Be sure your child's free play each day is not taken up with organized activities. Free play is very important for children.

Do Plan:

When Someone is Already Nearby

My husband works right next door to the gym where McKenna takes gymnastics and this year cheer. I always schedule her gymnastics class so she is ending right when my husband gets off work. This way I just drop her off and come home. My husband picks her up on his way home from work. Then I am home making dinner so when they get home, we are ready to eat. Try to think of when you could plan things for when your spouse, a grandparent, an aunt, or yourself is already in the area to help with drop-off or pickups.

Overlapping

For any activity where it is a practice type of situation, I like to try to plan things as overlapping as possible. It might make sense at first glance to keep things one after the other, but I like them to be at right about the same time (assuming I can get each kid there in time). That way we are all busy at the same time and we can all be together as a family at the same time.

Before Family is All Home

My favorite time of day for activities is right after school before my husband is home from work. That is time our family isn't all together anyway, so any time I can get those activities in before he is home, I do it.

Before School

This year we are trying something new. We are doing our piano lessons before school rather than after school. I have always done piano right after school. We are able to get them done by the time my husband gets home, so it fits that criteria. However, it was something that interfered with a day when they could just come home from school and have free time. In an effort to have more free play during the week, we decided to try piano lessons before school.

So far, it has worked well. Our school doesn't start until 9 am, so with a 7 am wakeup time, we have plenty of time to work this in. The downside is instead of one day of piano, we have two, but that has been okay. I scheduled the lesson to start so my husband drops Brayden or McKenna off on his way to work. So I am utilizing the advice for already being in the area. Then I pick up Brayden and drop off Kaitlyn. We then pick Kaitlyn up on the way to school--again, already in the area. I am already driving my kids to school each morning, we just take a little pit stop this day.

With Carpool Friends

This year, McKenna is taking gymnastics at the same time as kids in two different families in my approximate neighborhood. We take turns and drive just every 3 weeks. This is a fantastic way to go about activities. It doesn't impact our family as strongly when she is driving with someone else. I am able to give my time and attention at home.

Conclusion

Not all activity times can be chosen. This is what makes seasonal sports more stressful--you can't control game times and if you have more than one child playing, you can have games at the same time in two different cities. That is especially why it is helpful to be wise in any activity you do have control over. That makes the others more doable.

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Boredom leads to imagination and creativity

Boredom leads to interaction

Boredom forces you to face yourself

Boredom can lead to finding new hobbies

Boredom fosters independence

Conclusion

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