Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Love Our Work
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| image source |
I used to be able to do all of the laundry in one day. When we were first married, Friday was laundry day for me. After Kaitlyn was born, I moved that to Monday. It has since grown into a two day event and has encroached itself on my Tuesday as well.
And you know how things are just harder when you are pregnant? If you think I dislike laundry when I am not pregnant, you should talk to me about it when I am pregnant. Bending over is about the most monumental task you can give me right now. I have some good little helpers, though, and they love to help with the laundry, so they do lots of bending on my behalf.
Back to the laundry growing. I am hoping it is just because I am pregnant and not as efficient when I am pregnant, but laundry is starting to creep into Wednesday. Wednesday! Three days of laundry! Why, I wonder. I thought about this and realized something. These people living in my house (also known as children) are just getting bigger. They get bigger every day, and as they get bigger, their clothes get bigger, which means the loads of laundry get bigger! And we are about to add another person to this mix--a whole other closet full of clothes to wash! And then she will just get bigger.
This was my line of thinking last Monday. Tuesday morning as I studied my scriptures, I came across this quote:
"Learn to like your work. Learn to say, 'This is my work, my glory, not my doom.' God has blessed us with the privilege of working. When he said, 'Earn thy bread by the sweat of thy brow,' he gave us a blessing. Men and women have accepted it. Too much leisure is dangerous. Work is a divine gift." David O. McKay
Don't you just love (and by love I mean hate) when that happens? There you are reveling in your own self-pity--even if it is with a healthy dose of amusement--and the Lord leads you to something like this to, well, put you in your place?
So I need to learn to like the work of laundry. And I really should--because these kids are only getting bigger! This work of laundry is only getting more monumental (and yes, you had better believe that as soon as they are old enough they will be in charge of their own laundry). I don't know why it is so hard for me to learn to like laundry. In general, I really enjoy work. I am a hard worker and get great satisfaction out of cleaning. The laundry thing is just my personal battle. Maybe it is because I can't just do it and get it over with? I have to sort it, then wait while the machine washes it (and yes, I am grateful I have a machine to wash my laundry), then wait for it to dry, then fold it, then put it away, and there is always this large chunk of time that it is taking up space in my "to-do" list of my brain.
I am sure we all have our own personal battles. Whatever yours may be, you might want to join me in learning to like that work. I know it isn't an easy battle, but I do believe it can be done. I just need to figure out how to like this never-ending task of laundry.
Work: More than Economic Value
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| image source--a great article on work |
Or am I?
Sure...if it is just me doing work around my house I would love a folda. It isn't just me, however. Nor is it just my husband and me. We have three little people in our home we are in charge of raising, and I think work is an essential part of our raising plan.
"People who see only the economic value of family work miss what some call the 'Invisible Household Production'--the potential of family work to transform lives, to forge strong families, to build strong communities" (The Parenting Breakthrough page 18).
I was reflecting on why I love this above quote so much. Why is it I value hard work so much and believe it does more than just "get things done." Sure, I like a clean house, but I can get a clean house in a lot of easier ways than involve my children in the process. And if it was just about a clean house, I could even hire out the cleaning. It isn't about the end product--the economic value. It is about what children learn along the way. Here is my short list for why I work with my children:
1. Help them learn how to do these things--achieve independence
2. Spend time together
3. Stay out of trouble
4. Learn that things of value take effort
Learn How
One basic reason I work with my children is so they learn how to do work. Some day, they will move out of my house and into their own residence. They need to know how to take care of their home--and they need to know how to do it frugally. Yes, I could pay someone to come clean my house, but how long (if ever) will it take my child to get to that point financially?
Yes, I have my iRobot Roomba, but you know what? As much as I adore that thing, we mostly sweep. Why? Because I think my children should learn how to sweep. So each night after dinner, two members of the family sweep the floor.
Basics. I want my children to be able to do these things for themselves. I don't want them leaving my home unsure how to get their own home clean.
Spend Time Together
I have noticed that the more quantity time I spend with Brayden in a row, the more he talks to me about things that are of importance to him--things of his heart. We have three bathrooms. When I have Brayden help me clean bathrooms, it isn't until the third bathroom that our conversation turns to something of more substance. I just have to spend that time with him and wait for him to be ready to talk about it.
I fully plan to wash dishes side by side with my children if I feel like they need some talking.
There is a theory in the study of communication...I can't remember the name off the top of my head. Some day I will have a post just on that alone. The theory states that people communicate more openly if they are focused on a task. It is like a triangle. You, the other person, and your task. A person is more comfortable talking about things when there is something else to focus on while you are doing it. This seems to be especially true for males.
This is why work is so valuable. As you work, you think. As you work side by side with your child, those thoughts will come to the forefront of the conversation.
Stay Out of Trouble
The Parenting Breakthrough quotes the old saying, "An idle mind is the devil's workshop" (page 18). That is what reminded me of this good reason for including work in your child's life. I kind of think the old saying says it all.
Learn About Value of Work
It seems to me that anything of value in life takes work. Anything that comes the easy way is hardly worth your time. A good marriage takes work. Bearing children takes work. Raising children takes work. Saving money takes work.
When we work for something, we appreciate it more. When we work for something, we take better care of it. When we work for something, we understand how much work other people put in to doing things for us. As my children get older and are able to do different chores, I see that they take better care of the house in general. They put more effort into keeping things nice because they know what it takes to get it that way.
I believe it is important to know that in life, you have to work for what you want. I think working around the home helps a person understand that concept better than if he did not work around the home.
Conclusion
I have to point out, because I know someone who hates Babywise will run from this post with this idea, that I am not saying we need to work all.the.time. I am saying work has its value, and that value is not only in what it actually gets done. Children learn a lot from work, and we learn a lot while working with our children. It definitely takes work to teach your children to work, but just like anything else of value, the payout will be well worth your efforts.
Related Posts/Blog Labels:
- Book Review: The Parenting Breakthrough
- Dump The Guilt: http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/06/dump-guilt.html
- The Ever-Changing Child
- "I Do It Myself!"
- Parenting Tip #1: Never Say Never
- Purposes of Parenting
- The All-Important "Why"
- Chores
- Chore Cards
- Chore Jar
- Creating a "Good Helper"
- Let's Make a Plan: http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/02/lets-make-plan.html
- Making Work Fun
- Our Family Plan: http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/04/our-family-plan.html
- Parenting Lesson from The Biggest Loser
- Work and Responsibility
- Parenting breakthrough
- chores
- work
- work ethic
Work and Responsibility
Work, work, work. Does it seem like that is what you do most of the time? Yeah, I know it. Life is full of various kinds of work. Work to earn a living. Work for food. Work at raising children. Work at keeping a home. Work at relationships...like I said, work, work, work.
But work is necessary, and work is good for us. Anyone religious likely has a belief in work; the commandment of "six days shalt thou labor" is a point for keeping the Sabbath holy, but also for laboring--for six days. Looking to examples in the scriptures, we see people who worked.
Before I delve too deeply--I feel the need to first recognize that life isn't all about work--there should be play and leisure, also. Yes, we need to relax. Yes, we should recreate. But we shouldn't be idle.
We are often looking for ways to make our work easier on ourselves, and I don't think that is inherently bad. Because of such thought, we have things like dishwashers, washing machines, and roombas
. We can definitely become more efficient in our work. But not in order to turn to the television more often.
. We can definitely become more efficient in our work. But not in order to turn to the television more often.My feeling is that you readers are okay with and accepting of work in general, so I won't spend this time convincing you to be hard working. I think you already are. You are the type of people who accept your personal responsibility and are willing to put the work in to accomplish it. You don't expect anyone other than you to do things like raise your children.
But I am sure many of you struggle with loving your work. Yes--loving. I am someone who is a bit odd and loves work, and I know I struggle with loving certain jobs. Jobs like folding laundry...oh folding laundry. I do not love doing that at all. What is a job you dislike greatly? Sweeping? Bathrooms? Poopy diapers? Dishes? Running errands?
How do we change our attitude so that we learn to love our work--even the monotonous and the mundane? I have five ideas, and perhaps you have some you can share of your own. I think this is something that will take time to accomplish, but hopefully we can make great improvements quickly and work toward loving our work.
1-Make it fun
"Work" is not another word for "boring." I think a trick to enjoying work is to making it fun for yourself. There are lots of ways to make it fun. Challenge yourself. Maybe you could time yourself to see how long it takes you or maybe you could challenge yourself to be done with a certain chore by 10 AM.
Many of the tasks we so dread really don't take that long to do--when we put it off and think about how much we will dislike it, we really drag out the misery for longer than we need to :) But this post is not about shortening misery, it is about learning to love it, so let's keep thinking of that.
Something I love is music. When I put on music while I work, it makes it even that much more enjoyable for me. So think of something you enjoy and add that. Maybe you love to talk to your Mom. You could make doing the dishes time a time to call your mom.
2-Be grateful
One friend I have said that when she feels like complaining about doing the dishes, she thinks about how grateful she is she has food to eat. That is a great perspective--rather than complaining I have so much laundry to fold, I should be grateful we have clothes to wear!
3-Keep end goal in mind
Sometimes having a goal can make you excited to do the work. Think about how nice it will be to have all of it clean and done. Keep the goal in mind and be excited for what you are going to accomplish.
4-Share the load
Even the heaviest load is lighter when two people share it rather than one. Enlist the help of people as appropriate. Spouse, children, friends...all depending on the "work" you are doing.
5-Focus on the serving
Ultimately, I think number five is the thing that will get me to the point of loving the work I hate. There I said it. Hate. I have a story to illustrate:
"A traveler passed a stone quarry and saw three men working. He asked each man what he was doing. Each man's answer revealed a different attitude about the same job. "I am cutting stone," the first man answered. The second replied, "I am earning three gold pieces per day." The third man smiled and said, "I am helping to build a house of God."
Now, is folding laundry as grand as building a house of God? Definitely not in the eyes of the world. But I honestly think it can be in the eyes of God. The point of this story is the attitude of service when doing work. The third man viewed his work as a service to God. When I serve my family by folding laundry for them, I am serving God. "Inasmuch as you have done it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me."
No matter your spiritual beliefs, if you view your work as a service and display of love to your family, you will view it differently. Rather than a "chore" it is something to show love. Does the job change? No. Get easier? Not physically. But the chore was never hard physically in the first place. It is a mental issue, so that is where the change really needs to happen. Sure, a "folding laundry robot" would make that job easier, but the most realistic way for me to improve on that chore is to look at it as service and a way to show love.
So whether you are potty training, vacuuming, changing a diaper, balancing the budget, planning out your meals, weeding, cooking, wiping noses, etc.....view it as a display of love and an act of service, and hopefully some day, you can grow to love and cherish it rather than procrastinate and/or dread it.
Now I need to go fold laundry. Yay! (that was fake, but maybe in a few months, it will be sincere).
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