How to Solve Sleep Problems for Toddlers and Preschoolers

How to Solve Sleep Problems for Toddlers and Preschoolers. Two simple ways to get your child taking great naps.

Almost every Monday, I do a live video on Facebook answering questions from readers. Almost every single week, I get questions about troubles with sleep, usually naps, for older babies, young toddlers, and preschoolers. I have on common set of questions for these parents.

How is the child's exercise? How is the child's mental stimulation?

If your child was sleeping well and suddenly stops sleeping well, there can be a variety of reasons for the sleep problems. There are many reasons for poor sleep. It could be a common sleep disruption all children face. You might need waketime length adjusted or it might be time for a nap to be dropped. 

By the time you have an older baby, toddler, or preschooler, you are quiet accustomed to considering all of these factors. When your toddler or preschooler does not sleep well, you know what to look for. You know to watch for waketime length, nap length, and teething signs. But do you consider exercise and stimulation?

No?

Add it to your list. Consider it from here on out.

Here is why.

10 Chores for 4 Year Olds

When my oldest child was four year old, he could vacuum a room well enough that I didn't feel the need to go along behind him and fix it. That is saying something because I can be particular about cleaning, especially vacuuming. He had been trying to vacuum since before he was one and I had let him help me and move to doing it on his own as the years went by.

A four year old can do some things around the house that actually contribute and help. A four year old will not have it perfect. He can't do it as well as you can, but for some things, he can do it well enough. He can feel good about contributing to the home and you can start to have some burden of the home spread out, which means more time for the family to spend together. 

Children gain so much from working with their parents. Making chore time a family affair is beneficial to your child. 

As you decide what your four year old can do, always start by building on and adding to what was done in younger years. If you haven't done chores up to this point, or want to know what could have reasonably been expected in younger years, see my post on Toddler Chores and my post on Three Year Old Chores. 

Here are the things you can add to your four year old's list of possible chores. 

• Brush teeth independently
• Make own bed (remember, it won't be perfect!)
• Start to clean room independently
• Help set the table for meals
• Clear own plate after a meal
• Learn to make a sandwhich
• Help unload the dishwasher (the things he can reach and can't be broken). He can even help with some handwashing of dishes. 
• Sweep
• Help clean bathrooms. I start with a task in the bathroom. Even something like "you are in charge of the floorboards in each bathroom" is a great first step. I slowly build on bathrooms over the years until the child can clean the entire bathroom independently.-
• Vacuum
• Outside chores. Have your child be involved in weeding, gardening, raking, shoveling, sweeping, etc. of the outside. 

These are things you want to add to your child's life as a four year old. This doesn't mean the day after his fourth birthday (because throwing chores at someone on their birthday is just mean) that you hand him this list of 10 things and expect him to master it. These are 9 tasks. Perhaps you start the first month of year four reviewing the toddler list and be sure he has those all down. Perhaps month two you review the three year old list and make sure those are good. Then in the third month, you work on teaching him to brush his teeth independently and have a goal that by the end of the month, he will be able to do that. The next month, move on to making the bed (or whatever you think is best from the list above).

Always remember you need to teach the skill before your child can even practice. Then your child needs lots of time to practice the skill before he can be good at it. 

If you are nervous about handing over teeth brushing to your child, try a compromise. When my kids first started this job, I would have him/her brush their  own teeth for one tooth brushing session each day and I would do the other(s). That way, I knew the teeth were being brushed very well at least once a day. As time goes on, you can hand over more control. You can also choose to let this be what is done in month 11 of the fourth year, so you child will be practically 5. 

See Also:

• Chores
• Chore Cards
• Chore Jar
• Chore Wheel
• Creating a "Good Helper"
• Everyone Cleans
• Getting Children Actively Engaged in Household Responsibilities
• Creating a Parenting Plan
• Making Work Fun
• Our Family Plan
• Purposes of Parenting
• Teaching Children Life Skills
• Teaching Children to Clean
• Teaching Your Child To Clean Up After Self
• Work and Responsibility
• Work: More than Economic Value

• 12 Chores Your Toddler Can Do

• 5 Steps To Teaching Your Children to Do Chores

• How to Raise Independent and Responsible Children

How To Help Your Child Have a Great School Year

How To Help Your Child Have a Great  School Year. Eight ways to help your child succeed this school year.

"The novelty has worn off, mom." My seventh grader confessed to me the the other day. "The novelty of school?" I inquired. He nodded in affirmation.

Even if your child enters the school year with full excitement, you are likely to find yourself at some point in the year faced with a child who has lost that spark and excitement. This can come for a number of reasons, and for some it is a one day thing while for others, it is an every day thing. 

Whether you are facing uncertainty before the school year begins, a few weeks or months into it, or you simply want to prevent these feelings from coming up, I have some ideas for you to help your child have a good school year this year. These tips are applicable no matter if you send your child to school or homeschool. This works for all children in all circumstances.

9 Chores Your Three Year Old Can Do

When deciding what chores your three year old can handle, it can be hard to know what is right. It doesn't even get easier as you have more children. It can be hard to remember what your other children did at age three. When child one was three, he seemed old. When child four was three, she seemed like a baby. You can easily require too much or not enough. I am always striving to make your life a little easier and to take the guess-work out of parenting. I kept track of things, and I have for you today chores your three year old can do.

Will your three year old be perfect at these chores from day one? Nope. No way. It will take time and practice, which means you need patience. If you need some guidance on teaching your child to do chores, please read 5 Steps To Teaching Your Children to Do Chores. Nope

First, add to what your child is already doing. If your child hasn't done chores yet, see my post on toddler chores - 12 Chores Your Toddler Can Do - and start with those ones. Now, let's add to those.

A three year old has more ability to do things on his own. During this year, he starts to really dress himself, buckle himself in, and can be trusted more to clean up after himself. Here are some ideas for three year olds. Some of these things were done by my children younger than three, and others closer to four.

• Dress self
• Potty trained
• Beginning to brush teeth
• Pick up toys
• Say prayers
• Help match socks for folding
• Help care for pets
• Become more independent with chores begun as a two year old
• Start to vacuum (may need help depending on how heavy the vacuum is)

Always keep in mind that your four year old will not do these things incredibly well or fast, especially initially. If you are going to have your three year old dress herself, make sure you have allotted plenty of time for her to do so. The day you are in a rush is not the day to institute dressing herself.

Also keep in mind that as you give your child more responsibility, you do it in small steps. The day your child turns three, or the day you read this for the first time, is not the day your child needs to take on all of these additional chores and responsibilities. Choose one to add at a time. Once your child is comfortable enough with that responsibility, add another one. Things are chores to add over the course of the year as a three year old. 

This is not a long list. Remember we are adding to the list of chores we created for two year olds already. Now, when the child was two, the chores were looked at more as "helper." As a three year old, your child can start to be more independent on some things. When my oldest was three, he was able to vacuum a small room well enough that I didn't go over it later. Look over your two year old list and find things you can start to expect your three year old to be independent with. 

Related Posts:

• Chores
• Chore Cards
• Chore Jar
• Chore Wheel
• Creating a "Good Helper"
• Everyone Cleans
• Getting Children Actively Engaged in Household Responsibilities
• Creating a Parenting Plan
• Making Work Fun
• Our Family Plan
• Purposes of Parenting
• Teaching Children Life Skills
• Teaching Children to Clean
• Teaching Your Child To Clean Up After Self
• Work and Responsibility
• Work: More than Economic Value

• 12 Chores Your Toddler Can Do

• 5 Steps To Teaching Your Children to Do Chores

• How to Raise Independent and Responsible Children

The Best Things About Four Year Olds

Some four year olds can be a bit emotional. Just a bit. When you are in the middle of an emotional breakdown, open this baby up and remind yourselves of all of the amazing things about four year olds. 

1-They Can Buckle Themselves In

They can! If your four year old isn't doing this, work on it. You have to have patience to let your child practice. Brinley was a little hesitant to take on this new skill, but I told her she had to get it down before she could go to Kindergarten. That lit a fire and she had it. This is one of those skills that seems so small, but lifts a huge weight off of you. If you are reading this and have a three year old, give it a try with him/her.

2-They Think They Tell Jokes

This is a "best thing" that will last several years. If your four year old is exposed to jokes, he/she will try to tell her own. It will be quite clear to you that she doesn't really get what a joke is. That makes her made up jokes hilarious. 

3-They Talk With You

You have full conversations. Yes, you might not be able to not have a conversation, and that can get mentally draining. However, after years of isolation at home, a four year old having a real conversation with you adds life to your day! 

4-They Mostly Walk On Their Own

This can be a bit of a tear-jerker, but the back feels happy enough that it quickly pushes those tears to the side. No more stairs. You can go somewhere without a stroller if you have to. Life gets a bit more liberating. 

5-They Want to Be Helpful

They want to do things to help you. When you ask for assistance, they readily hop into action. You appreciate this a lot more when you have children older than four living in your home. 

6-They Want to Be Independent

Four year olds have a desire for some independence. They want to demonstrate that they are big. They want to go to the potty alone, brush teeth alone, buckle themselves, get dressed, walk instead of being carried, etc. 

7-They Can Go Places With You and Reasonably Behave

All of our children as four year olds.

When Brinley was an early four year old, I tried taking her to my dentist appointment. I brought a stack of books and had her sit on the chair in the corner while my teeth were cleaned. She was great! She sat in the chair the whole time. Four year olds have enough self control and are obedient enough that they can come to your appointments or other events with little stress. Their self-control is very strong by this point. 

8-They Remember Everything

This might not always be a "best thing," but a four year old can remember basically everything. If you make a promise, she remembers. She remembers fun things you did. She can remind you of things you are sure to forget ("Be sure to remind me we need some pickles when we go to the store!"). 

9-They Ask Really Smart Questions

You start to see the way your child's brain works with the questions he asks as a four year old. Four year olds have larger vocabularies and are able to express themselves. This means stories have more detail and questions have more depth. We are way beyond "why." Your four year old will ask you questions you have never thought of yourself in life. You will find yourself quite impressed with her intellect. 

10-They Are the End of the "Young Years"

Four years old is the last of the young years. There is so much perfection to the age of four. There is still "baby-ish" behavior where they want to be carried at times. They love to cuddle in your lap. They also love to play with toys. They still have that zest for life and find every activity exciting. With that is a newfound independence where they can do many things on their own. It is a golden age. 

Did I miss your favorite? What do you love about four year olds?

Preschoolers and Naps

In the preschool age group, "naps" vary among the children more than any other age group. One three year old may be done napping 99% of the time while the next three year old turns into a swamp monster if the nap is missed. This post contains affiliate links. If you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (affiliate link) under preschool naps, you will see that "Years Three to Six: Naps Disappear" (page 338). Guys, that is a three year spread of when naps disappear. Remember the spread of dropping to one nap? 14-20 months of age seemed like a huge range. Instead of six months, we are talking three years. So how exactly do you navigate the naps for your individual preschooler?

What Age Will Your Preschooler Drop the Nap?

As I just said, the age of dropped naps is a three year spread. While it is normal to have the age of dropping the nap spread quite a bit, there are some very common consistencies.

• Most three year olds still nap (91 percent according to Weissbluth). 
• Half of the four year olds will still nap.
• Only about 25 percent of the five year olds still nap. 
• Most six year olds do not nap (page 338).

For most of you, your child will stop napping as a four year old. There are outliers. Some will stop at three and some will stop at 6. Four is a good anchor age, however. 

What Are Signs Your Preschooler is Ready to Drop the Nap?

Look for signs of readiness that your preschooler is ready to drop the nap time; however, always remember you are the parent. Most preschoolers aren't going to thank you for having nap time each day. Some might love it. I had one child who was that way. Some might seem kind of neutral or just resigned to understanding that is life. I had one like that, also. Many will hate it and fight with every ounce of power they have--even mentally and physically. I had two who used every ability of cunning as could be dreamed up to try to get out of naps. I say that to say, you need to lead out on when it is dropped, not your child. You are the parent and you get to decide. Decide based on your observation skills. 

• Your preschooler will stop napping altogether, or may still nap but stop sleeping well at night. If the latter is the case, you might start with shortening the nap rather than cutting it altogether.
• If you drop the nap and your child slowly gets less obedient and more grumpy, do not write it off as being a "three year old" or "emotional four year old." There is an excellent chance your child is acting out because he/she wasn't actually ready to not nap at all.

Please be wary of dropping a nap in order to add in extra-curricular activities. If your child is truly ready to drop and activities are available to do at the old nap time, that is totally fine. Do not, however, drop a nap in order to start an activity. If you can't move that nap, do not do the activity. I promise delaying the activity by a year will not prevent your child from a lifetime of happiness and achievement in that area. 

What Should You Do When Your Preschooler is Ready to Drop the Nap?

• Be aware that you will likely need to add sleep to your child's night. This might mean an earlier bedtime, and/or it might mean your child needs to sleep in later in the morning. If neither of these things is possible in your life at the moment, hold off on dropping that nap. 
• Keep a rest time. Rest time is your insurance policy to provide a time for naps to happen as needed. They also allow your child to get a mental and physical break even if not sleeping. My youngest is currently four years old, and she cannot have a skipped rest time and maintain being pleasant past 7 PM. If we have something scheduled beyond 7 PM, I am absolutely sure to get rest time in there. 

Related Posts: 

How to Organize a Playgroup

By the time your child is three or four years old, he/she will most likely have a strong interest in playing with friends. You can accomplish this through inviting a friend over for an hour or two, inviting the friend and her mom over for an hour or two, or meeting friends and parents at the park or somewhere else fun. You can also accomplish this through a playgroup.

A playgroup also can double as a little preschool. For Kaitlyn and McKenna, we did playgroup the year before they did preschool, so two years before they started Kindergarten. They started the playgroup as three year olds and ended as four year olds. For Brinley, she started as a four year old. She is a late-summer birthday and I just was not ready for her to zip off to playgroup last year! Also, there were no other kids her age that year. They are all in Kindergarten right now and I didn't want her young age limit what they could do with the group of kids last year. 

Here are the details on how we do playgroup around here. This is not a "one way" type of a thing. Look at how we do it and then tweak it to work for you and your circumstances.

AGE

You can do any age you are comfortable with. I like 3-4 year olds. I personally want the children potty trained so their aren't diaper changes needed and 3-4 year olds are more social with each other than two year olds are.

FREQUENCY

We have always done once a week.

TIME OF DAY

I find the morning hours to be best. This is when kids are the freshest. Afternoons get tricky for anyone who might still need a nap or some wind-down time in the afternoon. We often start at 10 AM. 

This year, however, we are starting at 12:30. The reason for this is that three of the girls in the playgroup have a dance class they attend in the morning. So we do it right after lunch. This has worked well, also.

NUMBER OF CHILDREN

Playgroup seems to be best when you have 4-8 children. One year, there were only two and it still worked. You could probably go to 10-12 if all of the moms involved were comfortable managing that many children at once; preschool teachers do it all the time, but not everyone has the capability of managing that many little ones. It is further complicated if a mom has younger siblings at home, which is often the case. 

Another limitation to the size of the group is the space people have in their home. How many places do they have for children to sit at a work-space and color a picture? If you have 12 children but only 8 spots to color, you will have to get creative in how you manage activities. 

When we have had groups larger than the comfortable 8, we have split the group in half. In McKenna's age group, there are a lot of children her age. We split in half and still had 8 children in her playgroup. If you have a hard time splitting, you could always have a helper mom each week. So one mom would host and another would go help. 

DURATION

We do playgroup for 1.5-2 hours (it has varied from year to year). Either length works. 1.5 hours is obviously a little easier to manage, but you might want a 2 hour session in order to fit more in to each day. 

We start in September after Labor Day and end in May sometime before school gets out. 

ROTATIONS

Each mom takes turns hosting playgroup at her house. 

We started out originally alternating each week. So if we had six kids, we would go:

• Mom A
• Mom B
• Mom C
• Mom D
• Mom E
• Mom F
• Mom G
• Mom A
• Mom B

Etc.

Then we heard of another idea to take months. So Mom A would take September. Mom B would take October. Mom C would take November, etc. 

While our first way worked, I personally LOVE the second way. Here are some perks:

• You make plans based on similar themes. I had October this year. So I had all of these plans for week one. I had the plan and activities prepared. Well, we didn't get through them all. So I was able to carry some over into future weeks since I had it all in the same time of year.
• You can really reinforce skills. Since I had the kids week after week, I was able to create some activities that focused on sequencing and sorting that they could do each week. Children learn through repetition, so it helped them to practice these same skills over and over. 
• It gives the children more sense of consistency. Yes they move each month, but they have some consistency for each of those months. 
• You don't have to do playgroup in a busy season. I direct a musical at the elementary school. I am slammed with that from December-March. If I were rotating each week, I would have ended up having playgroup here several times during that time period. That would be quite stressful for me. I was able to do all of my days in October when I didn't have a lot of other stressors going on. 
• You take it on and then forget it. You don't have this job that pops up every 6ish weeks. You take it on one month, then forget it. You don't have to worry about it until your month comes up. 

If you do this way, you will probably take note that you are limited by number of months. If you are running September-May, you would need 9 children.

There are ways to work around this. If you have 8 children, you can take December off. December can be a very busy month. If you had 7 children, you could take off December and May. You could run through April and then have a final party in May. 

If you get creative, you can find a way to make it work for your circumstance. 

OBJECTIVE OF PLAYGROUP

As you and your fellow moms plan out play group, you want to talk about what the consensus is for the objective. Do you want it to be more of a preschool set-up? Do you want it more play-based? Are you okay with each mom doing her thing?

Some people really want a lot of structure at a playgroup. Those are often moms who don't play do to an official preschool.

Some people really prefer just playing.

All that matters is everyone is okay with what you ultimately decide. 

My personal feelings on this have always been that I don't care what direction the mom decides to take it when it is at her house. There are benefits to playing. Children do not get much opportunity to just socialize in our modern day. Even if all the children do is play, they are learning important social skills. 

I personally do playgroup with a mixture when it is at my house. We do a lot of learning activities, but we also have playtime. I like about 20ish minutes of play. Maybe 30. 

STRUCTURE OF PLAYGROUP

The way you structure will depend a lot on your goals and objectives. We have a letter for each week of playgroup. We will have a shape and color also. You can even assign themes, but you can let the person in charge come up with a theme if desired. 

• I try to have a variety of types of activities. So a letter activity, number activity, fine motor activity, gross motor activity, etc. I try to cover it all. 
• It is great to either have a coloring page or free play as children arrive. 
• I like to have various activities kids who are fast can do while others are finishing up. 
• I also like to include a few books that go along with our theme for the day.
• I usually end with free play. 

RESOURCES

The internet is FULL of ideas for learning activities! Turn to Pinterest. I have a blog with some ideas. I also have an eBook of learning activities, so you could have it all planned out for you!

CONCLUSION

Playgroup is a fun way for your child to learn and practice social skills. It can be a great way for you to get to know other moms better, also. 

Please let me know if you have questions about any of this!

How To Respond to Your Emotional Preschooler

"Mama I love it when you hug me. It makes my heart grow bigger," my little four year old told me as I gave her a good night hug. This is the sweet side of the four year old emotional roller-coaster. The high. The lows involve melting down into a puddle of hurt feelings over you asking her to put pants on. Preschoolers can be quite emotional. The lows are low, but the highs are so high.

These highs and lows can literally be from one minute to the next. Your little cutie can be laughing her head off one second, then laying on the floor crying about something you "never" let her do. Literally one minute later, she will be back up to joyful. 

It is basically a year-long ride and it goes and goes. I love thrill rides, but every so often you need a break. The ride can leave you feeling disoriented and confused and you have no idea how to respond. I have some tips for you. 

1-Empathize

I find it very helpful to empathize. I don't do it in a way that says, "Yes, you are so right. Your life IS the worst!" I do it in a way of, "Oh, are you feeling sad? I am so sorry you are sad!" Whether or not we find it justified, her favorite boots being too small for her seems like the end of her world right now. Just be happy you have raised her in an environment so far that something like that is the most upsetting event in her life. No matter how important it seems to you, it is important to her and she is trying to figure out how to deal with emotions. 

2-Label 

Help her explain how she is feeling. Upset. Frustrated. Mad. Sad. Angry. Disappointed. Help her recognize and label the feelings. These will help her understand and grasp her feelings better. 

3-Hug It Out

I find it is very helpful to wrap that child in a hug and let her be upset. I do the "sorry you are sad" and the labeling while in the hug. The way my personality is, I will hug them even if they protest. I manage to keep things light while doing this and it basically just turns in to her laughing instead of crying. If you try a hug it out with your child and that doesn't fly, abandon the hug idea.

4-Distract
The tools of distraction and substitution worked wonders for the toddler and they still can be effective for the preschooler. "You can't wear shorts when it is 30 degrees outside, but you can wear these beautiful pants! Look at these! Wahoo!" Be excited, sell the option, and your child will move out of the grump and into the fun.

5-Issue a Time-Out

Sometimes an emotional outburst will turn into an all-out tantrum. If the emotion turns to a screaming tantrum, I tell her that she needs to get control of herself or she will need a time-out. Taking a time-out when you are not in control of your emotions is just a good idea in general. This is true for adults and four year olds alike. I have her go to a time out until she has calmed down. I don't do this unless my steps above don't work and only when it has turned into the tantrum.

6-Recognize it is a Time of Learning

The wild emotions can be confusing and frustrating, but  remember that this is a time of development. Your child is developing emotions. Just like the story I shared at the beginning, that comes with good as well. That comes with greater love and the child starting to look outside of herself more.

7-Respond With Patience
Your attitude as a parent carries so much power over your children. I know sometimes you have had it and need a time out yourself. If that is the case, get your child in a safe place and go compose yourself. Do all you can to maintain control and patience with your child. If you respond to the big emotions with frustration and anger, it will not help your child break the emotional outburst. The things above can help.

Just keep some things in mind. Your child is not being emotional to get to you. Do not take the behavior personally. It isn't about you. It is about your child. Your child is feeling new feelings and doesn't know how to navigate them. Your example will help your child learn how to respond when she is feeling anger and frustration. Be gentle and patient and you can help your child turn that frown upside down quickly. Remember, roller coaster. Hang in there and you will be up on a high in no time.

You might find your child is having a hard time coming out of the bad mood. Typically with a preschooler, that ride is driving itself and you will be at a peak cheering before you have fully processed the low point, but in case the ride gets stuck, be sure to read my tips on correcting for attitude.

Should You Correct for Attitude?

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How to Know When Your Child is Ready to Stop Napping

One of the biggest mistakes parents make with napping is allowing the nap to drop to no naps a day too early. It is not uncommon for parents to say, "My child decided she was done taking naps at age two! You are so lucky your four year old is still napping!"

It might be something you fear (how will I ever get anything done?!?). It might be something you eagerly anticipate (freedom to leave when I want to!). Ready or not, the day will come when your child will no longer need a nap each day. We all know it will come. The big question is when? What age? How do you know when your child is ready?

SIGNS OF READINESS

1. Age: Age is a huge factor. Two year olds still need to have a nap each day. They might not sleep every day, and they very well might fight you on it, but nap should be a part of the normal routine. A two year old is not old enough to decide if sleep is best for him/her or not. Most three year olds should still have nap as their normal routine. A three year old will definitely not sleep each day, but still call it a nap and put her down. Do not stress when she doesn't sleep. Age four is the most common age to be read to drop one nap a day. At age four, you might start cutting out nap if your child is ready. However. I strongly recommend rest time and not just dropping naps from the daily routine (see section below for more on this). 
2. Attitude:  A huge sign to you on readiness for nap dropping is how is your child's behavior in
   
   the evening and the next day after skipping a nap? If your child is still able to be obedient and continue on with her normal disposition, then skipping nap works for her. If she becomes an emotional wreck, starts trying to annoy people on purpose, or starts disobeying you uncharacteristically, then you know she was not ready to be without a nap.
3. Sleep Patterns: Another sign to watch is the sleep patterns. Does your child sleep at nap? If so, does your child sleep well at night? If naps seem to make it so your child doesn't sleep well at night, take a log for a couple of weeks before you decide to take action. Actually write things down. You don't want to think naps are interfering, be wrong, and drop the nap. That will lead to sleep and discipline troubles. If you do think naps are trouble after a couple of weeks, start with shortening the nap and see if that is enough. 
4. Sleep Needs: Different children have different total sleep needs. Some need the lower end of normal, while some need the higher end of normal. Among my children, I have a wide range. You might assume that a child with low sleep needs will be dropping the one nap a day earlier than those with high sleep needs. That might be true, but my two low sleep needs children still napped daily at age four. Sometimes the less sleep a child is getting at night, the more he will need a nap in the day. 

WHAT TO DO

When your child is ready to drop that one nap and be nap-free, it is very wise to still have a rest time each day. In the very beginning of dropping this nap, your child slept most days and stayed awake some. As time went on, your child stayed awake most days and slept some. There will still be days a child who is no longer napping will need a nap. Those will be rough days if your child doesn't have the opportunity to sleep. 

When you have rest time, your child is in bed or a location where sleep can happen if needed. The location should be private and free from distractions. This way, if the child is tired, she can have a nap that day. Rest time should be at the same time each day and in the same location as much as possible. Rest time is a great time to allow your child to look at a stack of books. Rest time should be for 30-60 minutes. 

Please remember that you can be flexible. When your child is ready to move to rest time, you might want to take off one afternoon to go do something out of the house, even though it is over rest time. This is absolutely okay! Just like your child could miss nap some days, your child can now miss rest time some days. Just make sure if you are home, rest time happens. Also make sure that your child doesn't get to decide whether or not rest time happens. YOU are the parent and YOU decide. 

CONCLUSION

The day will come when your child is ready and able to drop to zero naps a day. Be sure your child is actually ready to do so before you drop that nap. When you do drop it, continue on a rest time in the place of nap time so your child can still have a physical and mental break each day to recharge. 

Related Posts:

• Dropping Naps: Moving to Rest Time

• Poll Results: AT WHAT AGE DID YOUR CHILD CONSISTENTLY MOVE TO REST TIME?

• Dropping Naps

Peter Pan Syndrome and Three Year Olds

"No! I won't turn four. I am free!" Brinley emphatically exclaimed. She loved being three and loved being young. And yet. Yet she wanted to be independent. She wanted to "do it myself." She could feel her dependence on me slipping away, and it both scared and excited her at the same time. I could call this "Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome," but I will instead dub it "Peter Pan Syndrome."

A three year old naturally becomes more and more independent of mom as the year goes on. The three year old can move with more ease and fewer falls. A three year old can start to draw pictures and get undressed and dressed alone. It is an exciting time!

But also a nerve-wracking time. Just like Peter Pan, these little ones often find themselves fighting against the idea of growing up. Brinley emphatically insisted she would never be anything other than three again. Also like Peter Pan, these three year olds have an imagination that is unbridled. They live in an enchanted state where deem themselves to be good at everything and can imagine whatever world they want to exist. They are carefree for the most part and literally stop to smell the roses often. 

But of course Peter Pan wasn't just all fun and games, and neither are three year olds. Every so often, Peter found himself at Wendy's window to listen to stories. There was a draw to this motherly figure of Wendy and this responsible life the Banks children lived. 

In a similar manner, three year olds have a draw to taking on more responsibility. They don't want to grow up necessarily, but they do want the privileges that come with growing up. There is a sense of accomplishment that comes with the skills a three year old develops, and it makes them feel good to reach those milestones.

You might be thinking, "That's all very nice and good. What do I do about it?"

You might also be thinking, "My child does not fight against growing up." An oldest child often won't show as much resistance to the growing up. In fact, an oldest might try to grow up too quickly. There can still be anxiety over the growing up process, however.

Back to what you do about it.

Don't Push Too Hard
If you have a three year old emulating Peter Pan and declaring she won't grow up, give her some time. If I told Brinley she was a big girl, she declared that no, she was a little girl. I backed off the big girl statements. Over time, she started wanting to do things the big girl way. I let her cruise at her pace without requiring her to embrace a "big girl" status in general, and now she often starts sentences like, "Mom, remember when I was a little girl and..."

That is a funny phrase coming from a three year old.

You Might Have to Push Some
Instead of saying push, let's say "encourage." Here is an example. A standard milestone a three year old should reach is the ability to dress and undress herself. Brinley has naturally done most of this step on her own by virtue of loving to play dress up. There is one area she was not getting, and that was taking a t-shirt type of shirt off by herself. She couldn't do it and she refused to try.

I didn't push it for a long time, but she is two months shy of four and it is really time she just do it. One day recently I told her she needed to take her shirt off by herself. She got the drama face on and said she couldn't do it. I assured her she could. I talked her through it. She was dramatic about it the whole way through, but as soon as she got it off, she burst into giggles and was so pleased with herself!

So I didn't push her to just become a big girl all at once. I let her warm up to the idea. I let her request certain things. And there were other things I have had to push. This might seem like letting the child parent, but we are talking about a three year old not wanting to grow up too quickly. You can take things slowly and let the child grow to accept and even embrace the idea of being a big kid. How do you do that?

Point Out Privileges that Come 
You get children excited about accepting growing up by pointing out the privileges that come with being a big kid. Oldest children inherently recognize those privileges and usually want to be like their parents, anyway. That is why you often don't have trouble talking an oldest into embracing "big kid" tasks. You usually have to talk them into holding on to childhood longer.

Do not allow your child the privileges that come with taking on more responsibility without taking on the responsibilities. Is it harder to take your shirt off by yourself? Yes. More effort is extended that way. So your child might not have motivation to do it.

You can use privileges your child wants as motivation to do others. "You want to drink out of a big kid cup at meals? Great! Only kids who put their pants on by themselves get to drink out of big kid cups. As soon as you put your pants on by yourself, you can drink from a big kid cup!"

Allow for Mistakes
A huge part of learning a new skill is making mistakes. There will be many spills, for example, when the big kid cup first comes out. Be smart about how much liquid you put in the cup. You might even start with just water at first. Be patient with the mistakes and mishaps as they come. If you make a big deal over them, your child can become hesitant to take on new tasks for fear of you getting upset when the inevitable mistake happens.

Conlusion
"I won't grow up" may be your child's favorite song right now, but with some patience and gentle prodding, your child will soon start sentences, "Mom, remember when I was little and..."

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Reading to Preschoolers

I have recently written on Reading to Toddlers and  Reading to Infants. Today I want to continue on with talking about reading to preschoolers. I am defining a preschooler as a 3-4 year old. You might start to apply these ideas to an older two year old and might hang on to them as your child is an early five year old.

What to Read

When I talked about Reading to Toddlers, I pointed out that usually about 2.5, your child will start to like stories that have a simple plot. By age 3, your child might have little to no interest in books unless there is a plot. Continue to read books with a plot built into it. There are countless fantastic picture books out there. I have a post on Great Children's Books. This lists a whole lot of fantastic books that would be good for preschoolers (and some for toddlers). Go with what your child enjoys reading while sometimes mixing it up with a different book to expand horizons. This post contains affiliate links.

With preschoolers, you can get more complex in your plots. In The Read-Aloud Handbook, Jim Trelease talks about the value of fairy tales (start on page 57). Fairy tales teach children that there are scary things and scary people in the world, but they also teach children that you can overcome those scary things. Ella Enchanted is a fun fairy tale book with a strong female lead.

Expand Attention Span
With the preschooler age range, you will start to expand the attention span of your child. You will go books that have one or two sentences per page to books that have paragraphs on each page, and you can even move on to books that will take you several days to read as your child builds up to it. Older preschoolers may be ready for short novels (100 pages or less). Trelease says, "Just keep in mind that endurance in readers, like runners, is not built overnight; start slowly and build gradually" (page 60).

I also want to encourage you if your preschooler has zero interest in chapter books or anything beyond a picture book. Kaitlyn, now age 8, really didn't like chapter books until first grade. It didn't have anything to do with her intelligence or ability to sit still and pay attention. Kaitlyn has a phenomenal aptitude in reading and language arts. I don't say that lightly. She was speaking full, complex, varied sentences by 14 months old. She was reading on her own by 3 years old (self taught). She has always had fantastic stamina in sitting still (definitely the best of all of my children). She would sit for an hour listening to picture book after picture book. She just didn't want to read chapter books. Today she reads chapter books with enthusiasm.

I share all of that with you because I don't want to you to worry about your child's intelligence level nor future fate as a reader is doomed if your preschooler doesn't want to read chapter books. Kaitlyn is not the only child I know of high intelligence who was this way as a preschooler and young school student. All children I know like this are highly creative and very good at art, so I have an anecdotal theory that it may be that these children enjoy looking at the art in picture books.

And as a side note, picture books are okay for every reading level. No person is too old for picture books.

Reading Methods

• Your preschooler will really become or be familiar with the favorites as you read them again and again. If it is a story your child knows well, sometimes pause and let your child fill in the blanks. You can do the same with predictable books. 
• Continue on with having a consistent time of day and place you read to your child each and every day. You can allow your child to do the page turning if she is interested in doing so.
• Say the title of the book, the author, and the illustrator before you read each book.
• You can engage your child in the book more by asking what your child thinks the book will be about or what your child thinks will happen next. 
• Use expression while reading. Keep your tone interesting as you read. Slow down when something is suspenseful. Speed up when it is exciting. 
• But in your reading, make sure you do not read too quickly for your child to follow along and know what you are saying. 
• A fun thing to do is to bring the book to life. If your child is having a favorite book, think up some activities to do along with it. If you can't think of any, Google it. "Activities for The Pout Pout Fish." Ideas will pop up. The internet is full of creative people. 
• Make sure dad takes a turn in reading to the child as well, especially to boys. You want your children to know that dad values books, too. 
• Answer the questions your child comes to you with. Preschoolers are inquisitive and want to know everything. Foster that love of learning by answering questions with patience. 

You might also like:

Reading to Toddlers

Reading to Infants

Babes, Tots, and Kids: 52 Weeks of Preschool {Giveaway}

I am very excited about this giveaway today. This is for a book that I have been working on with my friend Raegan for years (Raegan is the one who wrote the Chronic 45 Minute Naps post on this blog). Seriously years. I had no appreciation for how long it takes to create a book until we dove into this book.

Babes, Tots, and Kids is a book that is 52 weeks of preschool all planned out for you. You can visit our website at www.babestotsandkids.com. We wrote this book with multiple ages in mind. We talk about how to adjust activities to work for multiple ages. This way, you can do the same activity with your 12 month old as your 5 year old. 

There are already several “learning activity” books out there, and they are excellent. What sets this book apart from those? This book does the organization for moms already. This book ensures the basic skills are fully covered over the course of a year—and even from week to week. This book provides not only the ideas to do, but lumps them into fun themed weeks and provides the activities to do each day of the week.

It is a great book. And you can jump in any week of the year. You can get it now and start in Januray (or next week) or you can get it now and start next September. Whatever works for you. You can read more about the book here. If you would like to order a book, go to www.babestotsandkids.com. We are launching today and in celebration, are giving away a copy! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

ENTRY RULES

• You must enter the giveaway to have an entry.

• You must fulfill the rules of each entry for each entry to count. If I see the entry is not valid (did not meet entry requirements), I will disqualify your entry. Trust me, I check each winning entry to make sure it was valid.

• Entries will be accepted until 12:00 midnight December 12, 2014.

• The winner will be randomly selected through Rafflecopter.

• The winner will be announced sometime after the winner is chosen. I will email the winner.

• Once the winner is announced, you will have one week to contact me or another winner will be chosen. Be sure to check back and/or check your email. The only thing worse than not winning is to win but not realize it in time.

• I will not use your email address for any purpose other than contacting you if you are the winner (and FYI, I don't have access to the email addresses except for the winner).