Mealtime Booster Seats

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"Parents will inquire as to whether a booster seat is absolutely necessary. No, it is not. However, if a child is kneeling on an adult size chair, he usually lacks the coordination to move food from plate to mouth without creating an enormous mess. A booster seat helps reduce the mess" (On Becoming Prestoddlerwise, page 71).

Okay, so when I was a child, a "booster seat" was the largest phone book we had. Times have certainly changed, and I have changed with it! 

AGE

What age do you move to the booster seat? There is no set age that is appropriate for all ages. Here are the things I consider:

1-Mess: How messy of an eater is the child?

It is easier for me to clean a high chair than the booster seat and table, so I take into account how messy the child is.

2-Plate: Will the child use a plate?

I wait until the child can be trusted with a plate at the table without throwing it on the floor.

3-Height: Can the child reach my table in our booster seat?

Tables. children, and booster seats come in all sizes, so I wait until the child can sit in the booster seat at our table and be able to reach and eat the food.

Our Kids

Brayden and Kaitlyn were somewhere around 18-20 months when we moved to a booster seat at mealtime. With both of them, we were prepping for another baby around that age. I wanted the highchair long out of their minds so there would be no issues when baby started to use it. 

McKenna was closer to two. 

FEATURES

There are so many Booster Seats out there. Tons. So when you are buying your first, how do you decide which one to buy? Here are some features I would consider.

1-Color: Does it matter to you?

Many booster seats are designed with children in mind. Ours happens to be a nice, bright blue. If I were to pick today, I would probably go for something more neutral. It isn't a huge deal, but my preference is a bit different than it was the day we bought it. It might be the fact that we have since moved and the kitchen is attached to our great room, which is our formal room, so I have this nice bright blue booster seat in my formal area. Again, not a life-ruining thing, but if you are buying new and have the option of being choosy, just consider if color will be an issue for you.

2-Straps: Do you want them?

There are some booster seats out there that are basically just a seat that sits on your kitchen chair--really just a glorified phone book. This would be fine for the child who needs an extra boost who is close to 3 or 4, but I really think that for a child 2 or under, you really want straps.

I am talking straps not only for the child to be strapped in the seat if needed, but also to be able to strap the booster securely to the chair. Ours features both. If it did not have those straps, then McKenna would not be able to climb into the chair on her own--we would have to put her into it so it didn't fall down every time she climbed up into it.

Straps for the child--we did not need them for Brayden nor Kaitlyn--they both sat nicely. McKenna, however, has had her share of meals strapped in so she wouldn't stand up. I am glad ours has straps.

So my recommendation is that yes, you do want straps.

3-Tray: Do you want one?

Many booster seats out there come with a detachable tray. This can be nice if you have company over and you need to free some space at the table. I personally wouldn't make the tray a deal breaker, but I know for some it might be.

4-Height: Measure your table!

Our booster seat has an adjustable height so we can get it to the right size for our table. You will want to be aware of how high it needs to be and how high is too high for the child's legs to fit under the table. Our table has several inches of wood that go straight down from the table top, which means our legs can't be too high, but the child needs to be able to reach the table. 

5-Travel: Do you need it to be easily moved?

Some boosters are easier to travel with than others. We actually have a a separate travel booster that folds down compactly (The First Years On-The-Go Booster Seat). We keep it in our vehicle and if we are visiting grandparents or friends and need it, we can pull it out. 

When Brayden was a baby, we just used his booster seat to travel with (our bright blue one). It doesn't fold down at all, so it took up a fair amount of space, but with one child space wasn't an issue. It is more of an issue with our three children. 

So consider how easy it is to move and how compact it can get when moving it. 

6-Cleaning: How easy is it to clean?

Most booster seats are made of plastic, and plastic is easy to clean. Some are other materials and fabrics, though. Consider ease of cleaning as you choose--especially the "arm rest" area. That is where sticky hands touch the most. 

YOUR TURN!

What features are important to you? What couldn't you live with out? Do you have a booster seat you just love?

And, what age did your child move to the booster seat?

Related Posts/Blog Labels:

• mealtime
• baby gear
• pre-toddler 
• pre-toddlerwise
• highchairs

Mealtime Offenses (and Defenses)

Mealtime can present a wide array of problems in behavior from your child, but luckily there is plenty you can do to stop it if you have a plan in place. On Becoming Babywise Book Two dedicates an entire chapter to coaching you through this process(starting on page 65). I will encourage you as they do: consistency is key.

Some common problems that come with mealtime are: flipping plate, throwing food, screaming, blowing raspberries, standing, arching back, banging tray, and intentionally making messes (in hair, on plate, on floor, etc.). Here is what I do. My methods do vary from the methods outlined in On Becoming Babywise Book Two. Both are effective. The "how" is different, but "why" is the same.

Step One

I start with a gentle "That's a no." I usually follow that up with "we don't XYZ." For some, this will be enough. Most, if not all, will at some point continue the behavior out of curiosity over what you will do when she does so. You will continue on to step two, calmly.

If she complies, then thank her for obeying you and commend her for it. I say, "Thank you for obeying! That is a good girl to obey Mommy."

Step Two

This is a light consequence moment. Babywise suggests you remove baby to her bed, but my baby's bed is far from the kitchen. Having to go to the bed would make disciplining at this point enough of a pain I might avoid it. So, I leave baby in the highchair, but remove any  food (our highchair has a top tray, so I just remove that tray and baby still has a tray). I then tell baby, "uh-oh. Looks like you don't want to obey. Let's take a break." For a younger baby, around 6 months, I would sit there and just pause from feeding for a minute. As the baby gets older and more aware of what she is doing, I turn the baby so she can't see me (though she can see outside and that is fine). After a minute or two, we try again. If the child does the offense again, I may or may not start with step one and retry. I also might go to step three.

Step Three 

This is when I assume baby is done eating and we end mealtime. This is if it is safe to assume baby is acting out because baby doesn't want more food. I don't end it if baby is still hungry. One note, if baby is doing it to get out of the highchair, you don't want to reward the behavior. For example, Kaitlyn would sometimes push all of her food onto the floor when she was done. I definitely did not then remove her from her high chair immediately. I taught her the right way and she waited for a minute or two before she got out.

Remember Prevention

There are plenty of chances to teach your baby to obey you without having to turn mealtime into a battle ground. If your child insists on standing in the highchair, strap her in. It keeps her safe and keeps mealtime about the meal.

If your child plays with her plate, don't give her a plate (this is for babies). I don't ever give my children under age one a plate. I don't usually give them a plate until they are out of the highchair and sitting at the table.

If your baby likes to blow raspberries, practice that in the tub. The tub is a great place for raspberries. This is practicing substitution. Raspberries are a normal things for a baby to do, but that doesn't mean that baby needs to do them while eating food. You don't need to wear it and you don't need to wear a space suit to stay clean. Baby can do raspberries elsewhere and still get satisfaction from it. 

I also don't have a problem with my baby holding a toy in her hand while she eats. Our highchair came with some toys, so my babies have all held a spoon or little pan while eating. You could use a baby spoon. I don't let them put the toy in their mouth while eating (easier said than done with some). It keeps baby content to just eat, and it has never caused problems in our future. 

Apply Consequences

You can also offer consequences. If your child insists on making a mess of the food, give her one piece at a time until she can handle having a few pieces. That actually leads to a good point that you don't want to put too much food in front of your child anyway. 

If she slams her tray and won't stop, buckle her in and remove the tray. 

If she arches her back, patiently wait for her to be done before you make your next move. She is likely doing it out of frustration over something.

Practice Outside Mealtime

Remember to teach sign language (she might be screaming because she is either done or wants more). 

Also, work with her to obey at other points in the day. 

Conclusion

The mealtime issues can be easily addressed. Make a plan, prevent where you can, and eat in peace! Do you have anything unique you do in your home? Please share!

See Also:

• Baby Highchair Manners:http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/baby-highchair-manners.html
• Teaching Your Baby "No":http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/teaching-your-baby-no.html
• Throwing/Dropping Food off of the Tray :http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/06/throwingdropping-food-off-of-tray.html

How to Stop Your Baby From Throwing/Dropping Food Off the Tray

How to stop your baby from throwing or dropping food off of her tray.

Intentionally throwing food off of the tray is not something I ever experienced with Brayden. Sure, food fell off the tray while he was eating sometimes, but he never intentionally threw it off.

Then Kaitlyn came along. She is such an easy baby in so many ways, but she does have her vices. One of those is dropping food off her tray. I wasn't sure she was doing it on purpose at first, but after some observation, I came to realize she was.

She doesn't do it immediately; she signs and says "all done" first, but if I don't respond fast enough and she is feeling impatient, she starts to throw her food on the floor. I am pretty sure she has learned that I quickly respond when she throws her food. The problem here is that with two kids, I can't always immediately respond to the desires of one, so when she is done, I can't always get her out right away. Another problem I have is that she is trying to get my attention in the appropriate and polite way first, then moving on to other means.

My personal solution for this mostly lies with myself. I have made more of an effort to respond to her as soon as she asks in her appropriate way. If I can't get to her right away, I at least look at her and tell her I will be there in one minute. She is less prone to throw food if I at least acknowledge her.

If she announces that she is all done but I want her to stay in her highchair for a bit longer for whatever reason, I will immediately remove her food from her so she can't resort to dropping her food off her tray if she gets impatient.

But maybe your child is throwing/dropping without using better means of communication first. If that is the case, I would use the firm voice, "that's a no," 'mommy glare,' and then take the food away and tell her she can get out when she signs or says all done, not by throwing her food. If your child is old enough to be sitting and eating finger foods, then she is most likely old enough to communicate in some way that she is done (other than throwing food).

The first couple of meals, I would take her hands and physically sign all done for her and also say it. I would then tell her good girl and get her out. After a few times (based on age and ability), have her do it herself. When she does it, praise her for being a good girl and obeying, etc.

If you are sure your baby just can't communicate that yet, then I would say you need to watch more closely for other cues. You want to catch her before she gets to the food-throwing point. Get her out before that point. Before you get her out, ask if she is all done and sign it to her and/or for her.

What you don't want to do is have baby throw food because she wants out and you then immediately get her out. That is reinforcing the wrong behavior. That is the reason I suggest you remove the food, then have her sit and ask nicely.

If your baby is throwing food just randomly throughout the meal, then you can take the food away immediately and wait for 30 seconds to a minute. Then give it back to her and tell her she can have her food but may not throw it. At some point (up to you) you would take it away for good. You could also take her out of the highchair and tell her she can go back if she will not throw her food.

Don't underestimate the comprehension ability of your children. They understand much earlier than we realize, and much earlier than they can really show their comprehension.

Related Posts:

• 10 Mealtime Policies for Children
• Baby Highchair Manners
• Creating a "Good Eater"
• How to Teach Table Manners to Your Child
• Mealtime Offenses (and Defenses)
• Picky Eaters
• Picky Eaters: Born or Made?
• Pre-Toddler Mealtime Expectations
• Refusal of Favorite Foods
• Restaurant Manners {Dining Out With Children}
• Throwing/Dropping Food off of the Tray 
• You Don't Have to Like It, But You Do Have to Eat It

Baby Highchair Manners

To a new parent watching their child eat for the first time, every little thing is so cute. Raspberries, dropping toys, playing in food, etc. For me the second time around, I still find these things cute, but I also am better about seeing the long-term effects of what I allow to happen from a young age.

But I am not perfect about it. Here is a story that illustrates a major blunder I made with Kaitlyn regarding toys while eating.

Brayden got no toys while he was eating. He was a good, fast eater and loved food. I had fully planned on following that same path with Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn, however, was (and is) not that fond of baby food. She likes her veggies, and has grown to like her cereal, and only tolerates her fruit, but she started out just disgusted at everything other than veggies. I found if she had a toy, she was distracted and would eat. So I let her have it. She had reflux and therefore food was always a concern for me when it came to her. Then the game started.

Brayden never did play that game where they drop toys and you pick them up a million times in an hour, so I guess I wasn't really aware of what I was in for. Also, he was a boy and boys just aren't born knowing how to schmooze and manipulate the situation like girls are. :-)

At one point, Kaitlyn started dropping her toys while eating. She then stared at them, then looked at me with big, sad eyes. She then put her hands together in front of her mouth and refused to eat another bite until I picked up the lost toy. Once I gave it to her, she would eat again (that is, until she dropped it, which often took less than one second). At first I thought it could only possibly last a week until she tired of the game. Nope. It was still a huge hit after a month.

I was so tired of the game! SO TIRED! And I did it to myself. Oh how silly. One weekend, I had had it with the game. So Monday, after breakfast, she got no toys. I just stopped it right there and told her no more toys, She ate just fine, and ate well without them. She ate faster. She would sometimes look at me with this look. I knew what she was asking for. I told her no more toys while she was eating. She was fine. She accepted it with no fits or food strikes.

With Brayden, he didn't get toys while I was feeding him. Once the meal was over and I needed him in the highchair still for cleaning up, cooking, eating, or whatever, he could have them. I find that to be just fine. I moved that way for Kaitlyn, though at this age she usually wants some bread, bananas, and cheese after she is done with the yucky baby food. So I think toys in the high chair are just fine if you aren't feeding them.

I tell this story to illustrate that you have to be careful what you allow. However, if you have allowed things in the past, it doesn't mean you are stuck forever. You can make mistakes and correct them.

For things like raspberries and spitting, I just have to do my "that's a no" coupled with my mommy glare (the look moms give when you have done something wrong). Then consistency. You never allow it. They will get it. Babies don't want to do things they shouldn't. They look to you for guidance on what they should or should not be doing. Yes, they test, but once they see the rule is the same, they happily comply.

That is the reason I also do not laugh or smile when they do something they shouldn't, even when it is really cute. When I really must laugh and smile, which does happen of course, I turn my head, cover my mouth, and even leave the room. One giggle from you and baby will be working hard to repeat your reaction. They love to please. So show your pleasure when they are behaving as they should.

There are things babies like and need to do to explore and learn. That is totally fine. The problem with Kaitlyn's toy dropping was not that she did it, but when she did it. It was interfering with mealtime. She still loves to drop it and watch where it lands and have me pick it up for her, but we do it during playtime, not mealtime. It is like an example used in Toddlerwise of a baby playing in the dog's water. Playing in water isn't a bad thing, and it is fun for the baby, but the dog's water is gross (even if you keep it perfectly clean, that is gross). So you let baby splash in the tub, or take baby to a water-safe place and give him a bowl of clean, non-dog drool water to splash in. I find that babies are smart enough to make the distinction for when and where okay and when and where it isn't. Naturally, you have to apply this age-appropriately and developmentally appropriately with each child.

High Chair Features to Look For

A lot of people wonder what to look for in a high chair. There are so many possibilities out there! First, you need to decide what you want it to be able to do, your space available, and your budget.

When Brayden was ready for a high chair, we bought a booster seat that was portable, had a tray, and could recline. It turned out to not be the best thing. We did get use out of it, however, when Brayden graduated to a booster seat from the highchair at 18 months.

At 6 months (started solids at 4 months), I got a highchair. He started eating a lot more and I attribute that to the fact that the highchair was a lot more comfortable so he would sit in it longer. Shortly thereafter, he started sleeping longer for his naps. Are the two related? It is impossible to say for sure. At the time, that is what attributed the better naps to. So, here are the qualities I recommend for a highchair. It is personal preference and people like all types, but here are my opinions.

• The back of the seat is not straight across but is more like a U or smile shape--curved. This seems to prevent the baby from sliding down. The booster I got that I didn't like was straight. The old high chair I use at the in-laws is straight. Both kids are/were falling down in such things.
• If you plan to have more young babies use the chair, one that the back reclines. The need for this is dependent on the child and on the age you start solids. Kaitlyn has been sitting up straight in hers since before 5 months, but I do have friends who have had babies not be able to sit up well past 6 months old. I like the option, and I would put Kaitlyn in the high chair before she started solids so she could join us at the table for meals.
• A tray that you can put in the dishwasher (if it is one that would have a tray). Mine has a cover that you can put in the dishwasher, and some have two or more. I wouldn't mind two because then while one was being washed the other one is being used, but honestly you would only have one meal time while the one is being washed and the main tray is getting dirty, so it isn't all that inconvenient.
• An easy-to-clean seat pad. Some are fabric that can be washed in the washer, some are plastic that can be easily wiped off with a washcloth. I can see benefits to both. It is going to depend on you and your cleaning preferences, but watch for one you can easily clean. Mine is plastic coated, but I will put it in the washer at times--I just don't dry it and I wash it the same way you would wash a plastic shower curtain liner.

That is all I would find necessary. Other features are just nice bonuses that depend on how you plan to use it:

• If you live in a small space, one you can fold up compactly and put in a closet could be nice, but I would only get that if you would really fold it up constantly. I know I personally wouldn't fold it up. You are using it three times a day for meals and some babies will sit in it to play while you make dinner or whatever, so it seems inconvenient to me. If you would want to put it away for company, you could likely find a place to store the highchair while they were there. Most fold up, some just more compactly than others. My mom's is one that folds up very compactly (at the time it was the smallest on the market, I am not sure if it still is). But she honestly just keeps it out all the time. The highchair itself is not as roomy for the child so it isn't one I would recommend for long-term use, but Brayden at 2.5 can still fit in it just fine.
• Wheels are nice if you plan to move it around a lot. I think most have wheels anyway.
• Toys are nice for the child's entertainment, but you could put toys on the tray if you want them to play in the highchair. My booster had some toys on the tray, but they were things you pushed to make other things happen, and it is hard for an adult to push, much less an infant.
• Mine has a basket under the seat; I keep bibs in there. It also has a bar on the back where you can hang bibs or wash clothes...conveniences.

As I said, there are all types out there and each one is like by someone for some reason. Determine your desired uses and go from there. These are just features I personally like.
Reader Questions:

• Salina said...
  What high chair do you have that has a basket under the seat? That's a wonderful idea! I was trying to figure out a way to rig up one for mine. I have the Chicco- which I love, but I could do something with all that wasted space underneath!! I hate having to run to the kitchen or his bedroom for towels, bibs, etc.
  January 17, 2008 7:04 AM
  Plowmanators said...
  I have a Graco high chair, but I looked at their site and it looks like they don't make the one I have anymore! It doesn't look like any of their high chairs have baskets anymore. You might be able to find it if you looked on ebay or something.
  January 17, 2008 8:44 AM