Showing posts with label service. Show all posts

Light The World This Christmas

I always try to be as done as possible with the list of Christmas tasks before December 1 hits. I want to be able to enjoy my family and enjoy the reason for the season. What better way to celebrate Christmas, the birth of the Savior Jesus Christ, than to focus on serving others in the days leading up to the celebration of His birth?

Last year, we participated in the Light the World service ideas, and we plan to do so again this year. The idea is to serve in 25 ways in 25 ways.

You can download and print the calendar here.

Here are videos and details for all of the days. These help give you ideas and ways to execute service on each day. You have loving neighbor, helping children, forgiving, feeding the hungry, giving to others, comforting the sick, focusing on things that matter...there are just so many ways to help you focus on the reason for the season and help bring light to others this season!

Watch my Instagram account to follow how we are implementing these ideas. And please don't feel like you have to do every single day of this to do it at all! Things come up, so don't let fear of "failure" stop you from doing it at all.

Fitting in Serving Others

Image Source

Included in the long list of things you feel the need to do in life is most likely serving others. When you think of serving others, you might get this little guilty feeling start to creep up because you feel like you aren't really doing much to serve. It is often hard to provide real service to people with a baby or toddler in tow, and it is even harder to get away from that baby and toddler in order to do service without them.

We need to broaden our view of what it means to serve others. We need to broaden our perspective on how much of a contribution we need to make verses what we are making. We need to accept what we can do at the time, even if that means narrowing our focus.

Last January, I talked about Guilt as a Mother. Service is a great thing to do. It is a noble way to spend our time and definitely worth our efforts to make it happen. Because of this, the adversary would naturally want to figure out ways to make us stop doing service. Satan is sneaky. He isn't going to try to get you by convincing you that service is bad. No. You are a good person who is striving to do right--he knows he can't convince you service is bad. He will use much more conniving tactics. He will likely appeal to your guilt. He will make you feel that if you can't save all of the starving children in Africa, there is really no point in even trying at all. He will tell you service close to home is nothing of value. He will make you focus on how few people you are reaching. He will try to discourage you to the point of giving up. He will convince you to procrastinate until you can do service on a grand scale.

Do not listen. This post contains affiliate links.

What Does it Mean to Serve Others?

Service is simply the action of helping or doing work for someone (New Oxford American Dictionary). We need to accept a more generous definition of serving than what we often think of. You do not need to leave your neighborhood, much less the country, in order to serve people. You really don't even have to leave your home. As a mother, you serve people ALL DAY LONG.

When you think about where you stand on serving, analyze honestly. Do you feel like you have room for improvement? When you think about that, do you get ideas for improvement, or do you think, "Well, I can't travel to help build homes in [insert third world country here] so there isn't much point in me trying"? If you are getting good ideas, go with those, no matter how small they seem. If you are feeling like you can't possibly make a contribution to the world, ignore that and think of something you can do.

How Grand Does Service Have to Be?

I am absolutely positive the Lord cares about each and every one of us individually. He cares about "the one." Your service that only impacts one person counts. It matters. It is worth your time and efforts.

I think that most if not all of us would consider Mother Teresa someone who made an impact for good on humanity. She was once questioned by a reporter and told basically that in the grand scheme of things, she was accomplishing "absolutely nothing." Her reply was that "her work was about love, not statistics." She sought to serve those within her reach even though the number out of her reach was immense (see Are We Not All Beggars?).

What you do for that one person matters. It is worthy. You never know in the moment what kind of domino affect your actions will have into the future. Service can be "small" and still be service.

Now, I don't want to say that and then have people think they don't have to do anything. We need to do all that we can. Sometimes, all that we can do is grand in the eyes of the world. Sometimes, it is seemingly small. So long as you are doing all you can, then you are on the right path.

Ideas for Serving

Here are some ideas for serving others:

Pray for others. Sincerely offer prayers on the behalf of other people. Prayer is something you can always give.
Meet the needs of your family. Do not discount the service you offer to your family. Do not neglect your family in order to do service that is noticed by people outside your home. Your first priority needs to be to your family. That doesn't mean the family should never sacrifice in order for you to serve. It doesn't mean your family can't help you serve others. Most of the time, you can offer full service to your family and still have time for others.
Smile at others. Be a kind person as you go about your errands, work day, and home. Helping people be happy and in a good mood is a great service that trickles beyond that one person.
Befriend people. When there is someone new who moves into your area, get to know that person. Invite that person to do things socially.
Comfort others. Offer love and support to those who need it.
Donate money to reputable organizations. Sometimes our time is taxed, but we can find money here and there to offer.
Donate food.
Donate clothes and other items. Something as simple as donating your old baby items can be a great service to people!
Do manual labor for those who can't. You can shovel walks, weed gardens, and rake leaves, for example. These are great tasks to get children involved in.
Take dinner to someone. When someone you know has a baby, is sick, or has a tragedy in the family, take dinner to them. You can arrange dinner for a certain day and time. You can also make a freezer meal and drop that by so the person can have it when it is most needed. This works well when there are a lot of people bringing meals in or when the person isn't home much (like in the case of a sick family member). There are often times I don't necessarily take an entire meal to someone, but part of one. I will decide to make breadsticks that day. My family only eats about half of what I make. I could half the recipe, or for a minimal amount of effort I can make the full recipe and take the breadsticks to someone. I pray to know who could use them, and I always find someone who can be helped out by having the addition to their meal that night.
Notice needs of neighbors. Keep an eye out for your neighbor and be mindful of her needs. I love the quote, "...although I may not be my brother's keeper, I am my brother's brother, and because I have been given much, I too must give" (Are We Not All Beggars?)
Utilize your talents. There are things you have a unique ability for. You might be a great cook, a great singer, a great instrument player, a great sewer, a great reader, organized, fun, friendly, kind...Think of ways that you can use your talents to bless the lives others.
Volunteer in your community. You can help in the school. There might be civic opportunities to serve. You might be able to coach a soccer team. You might help clean the cemetery or clean up trash in the park or along your street.

Conclusion

Finally, give yourself grace when analyzing your ability to serve. Are you doing enough? We need to serve and give all that we have (See Mark chapter 12 and Mark 14, versus 6-8). We need to be honest in our assessment of our efforts and not make excuses for ourselves for not doing more. But we also need to balance that with giving ourselves grace and accepting ourselves all that we have. No matter the amount, when we give all that we have, it is enough. Do not let the world tell you that your efforts in your season of life are not worthwhile and not enough. "The one" matters. It matters to that one, and that is enough.

The Widow's Mite--follow this link if the video isn't working

Quotable Mondays: Giving

I thought this was a fitting quote for the Christmas season:

No-one has ever become poor by giving. -Anne Frank

During this Christmas season (and any other season), remember those who are less fortunate than yourself. Giving to others will not make you poor. Whether you want to call it karma, blessings, or just that good things happen to good people, it seems you always get something good in return when you are good to others.

It doesn't have to be money. It can be your time. It can be your talents. It can be a smile. It can be a visit. It can be a plate of treats or a home-cooked meal. It can even be the clothes your children have outgrown. We all have something we can give, and doing so certainly won't make us poor.

Want to join the fun? Share your thoughts on the quote either here in the comments or on your own blog and link up in the comments.

You can find quotes I love here: http://pinterest.com/valplowman/quotes/

Making Time For Fun

This is my Dad. My Dad is one of the best people I have ever met. You know how you use your dad to measure anyone you date against? I was lucky to have found someone who could compare to my dad; my husband is also one of the best people I have ever met. My Dad didn't make it easy for him--it was a tall measurement to stand against.

My Dad is the kind of person that I think everyone who knows him likes him. Not just in a neutral way--people really like him. He is the type to always be there to help with his time, talents, and money. Somehow, he is never too busy to help someone out.

He is also very fun. McKenna reminds me a lot of him. He is always up for a good time. He is the youngest of seven children and fits Kevin Leman's description of a youngest child well in this aspect. He loves to antagonize people and debate (I am not sure how that lives harmoniously with everyone liking him, but it does). He is a Democrat living in a highly Republican state and the only Democrat of his family. He loves to walk around the family reunion trying to spark a political debate with one of his three sisters or three brothers. I swear he is a Democrat just so he has greater opportunities for debating in life. He is the one who trained me in my debate skills.

I remember only one time in my life when my Dad raised his voice to me. Just one! And I have a good memory. The other day, my uncle who is old enough he could be the father of my Dad told me he has never in his life seen my Dad mad. He has known my Dad since he was a very young boy.

My Dad is a very stereotypical male in his interests. He loves sports. Loves. He is a self-proclaimed "superior athlete" and loves to both participate in and watch a variety of sports. He never had a son and has only one grandson. Despite his "male-ness," he has no problem sitting on the floor with Kaitlyn and playing My Little Ponies for extended periods of time.

This is perhaps my Dad's greatest trait. It is one my husband and I admire and try to implement better into our lives. My Dad is never to busy or proud to have some fun with the children. When he plays ponies, he doesn't just sit there holding a pony while Kaitlyn plays around him. He plays with her. He makes it seem like there is no where else in the world he would rather be. It isn't forced or fake; it is genuine.

One day, my Dad dropped by our house for something. He had been working for several days straight and mentioned how much he had to get done that day around the house. The "to do list" is something my husband and I are very familiar with. Brayden piped in and asked him if they could go golfing that day. Without hesitation or reserve, my Dad said yes. He called and set up a tee time. We were really struck with how balanced he is. He seems to really understand that there will always be work to do and that "all work and no play makes him a dull boy."

For as helpful and willing to drop anything for fun as my Dad is, you might think he leaves some relationship lacking. He doesn't. Somehow he manages to offer enough to each of his relationships to keep it fulfilled. I don't think anyone in my Dad's life feels slighted by him. For Mother's Day this year, my grandmother requested to see him. The next morning, he was in his truck driving the 2.5 hours to go spend the day with his mom. My Mom commented that he was such a good son. Then she went on that he was such a good husband, also. I had to comment that he is also a great father and grandfather, and I know he is a great brother (I could go on and on with examples for that).

In the end, my Dad understands the important things in life. He understands material things fade. He has no attachment to his things or his money. He understands that people matter more than things and more than anything he thinks he needs to do. He has an endless supply of patience and always thinks the best of people. He does the things he does not for some reward. He does it because he cares about people.

I am lucky to have his example in life. I have learned a lot from him (my deep supply of patience no doubt comes from him--plus I learned all about football). I have a lot to learn from him still (how to put the to-do list down and take time to play more). I am grateful for him in my life and in the life of my children. Love you Dad!

Loving Others

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -Mother Teresa

One of the most effective ways, if not the most effective way, to teach our children moral character traits is to be an example of them ourselves. Most important is to not be hypocritical about things we are trying to teach our children. Teaching a child one thing while doing another will really be detrimental to that child in not only that character trait, but other traits you try to instill also.

For that reason, I wanted to talk about us loving others--us as parents. What do we do to show our love to those around us? And what do we do to feel love to others?

I love that first quote I shared. Do not judge others--when you do, it gets in the way of you being able to love them.

It is really hard to know the intent of other people. We can try to think of what we would mean if we behaved that way, but that still is not an accurate assessment of the other person's intentions. It is wise to assume the best--most people really do mean the best. President Thomas S. Monson said, "There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might do or say something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment "Judge not." "

I love this story. It really illustrates a great point on not judging others:

A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash.

“That laundry’s not clean!” Lisa exclaimed. “Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!”

John looked on but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments.

A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, “Look, John—she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.”

John replied, “Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!”

A great way to show love is through service. Do not revel in the problems of others. Horace Mann once said, "To pity distress is but human; to relieve it is godlike."

Show your love for other people by not judging, being kind, and helping them in times of need. Work on these things and your children will recognize that you have a real love for other people, and will become people who also love other people. And a person who really loves others is a person we all need in this world.

Thoughts for this article inspired by the talk Charity Never Faileth by Thomas S. Monson.

Love Language: Acts of Service

The final love language discussed in the Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman and Campbell is acts of service.

On the surface, acts of service seems simple and straightforward. You do nice things for your child and she knows you love her. It is not, however, that cut and dry.

"Don't view acts of service as a way to manipulate your children" (page 90).

"...if we parents give in to desires or even demands for too many gifts and too much service, our children can remain childishly self-centered and become selfish" (page 90).

"However, this caution should not keep parents from using the language of service and gifts in appropriate ways" (page 90).

Providing Age Appropriate Service

"You should do for your children what they cannot do for themselves" (page 91).

This means that when your child is ready for it, you teach him how and have him do it himself. You feed a 6 month old with a spoon, but a 6 year old is capable of feeding himself. A 3 year old won't be able to make her bed on her own, but an 8 year old can.

So you start life doing the service acts for the child.

Then you move on to the intermediate step. That is when you teach them how to perform acts for themselves. Does it take more time than doing it yourself? Absolutely yes. Will it be more sloppy and less efficient? Most definitely. "Parents who are too busy to teach children how to do laundry, or too perfectionistic to let them do it, are not loving those children but crippling them" (page 91).

Offering Service

This is where the line gets harder--where things aren't so cut and dry.

You want your children to learn to be self-sufficient. You want them to learn to do things for themselves. But you don't want to lean so far in that direction that you offer no service to your children.

So make sure you offer service and help to your children when they need it while still balancing the teaching of self-sufficiency.

Serving With Love

When you perform acts of service, be sure it is in your heart that you are serving. Do so with love. I know things get mundane. Changing another diaper gets old. Filling up that cup of milk for the fifth time before you have even had a chance to take a bite of your own dinner can be frustrating. Try to keep the proper perspective. If you serve grudgingly, your child will feel that, and any love that could be communicated through the service will be negated by your negative attitude (see page 94 for more).

"When parents serve their children with a spirit of resentment and bitterness, a child's physical needs may be met, but his emotional development will be greatly hampered" (pages 94-95).

And don't feel bad if you have ever offered service grudgingly. I would venture to say all of us have. Have you ever entered that nursery at 3 AM in a bad mood because you are up in the night? You are not a lone. As Chapman and Campbell point out, "Because service is so daily, even the best parents need to stop for an attitude check now and then, to be sure their acts of service are communicating love" (page 95--emphasis added).

Meaning of Service

As you serve, you teach your children to serve. As you serve your children, neighbors, and spouse, you show them how to serve.

Showing Love Through Service

If your child's love language is service, here are some ideas to show love in this way:

Help child with sports practice
Help child with homework
Make snack for child--especially a favorite when the child is having a bad day
Carry child to bed and/or tuck in bed (rather than just sending them to bed)
Make meals for children
Serve others together
Help your child get ready
Take special care of your child when he is sick
Choose a special way to always provide service. For example, always making sure the special stuffed animal is in their bed before bedtime
Help fix broken toys

Related Posts Blog Labels:

Finding/Teaching Positive Behavior

"Mommy, I'm going to go do some service at [the neighbor's]." This is the magical phrase I heard from Brayden (4.5) two days ago. We were out shoveling snow in our driveway (already service to Daddy since he had surgery on his foot and couldn't do it). He decided to go shovel the neighbor's driveway, as well.

How do we teach our children to love service? How do we teach them to love any positive attribute? On Becoming Preschoolwise has a great idea (starting on page 185). Basically, you make a chart that includes positive attributes you want to see your preschooler develop (faithfulness, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, etc.). Each time you see your child display one of these attributes, you point it out. You tell your child what happened and how it relates to this virtue. You then have your child put a sticker on the chart. For some, this might be enough of a reward. For others, you can have a special treat for every 10 stickers.

What does this activity do? How does it help? For one thing, it forces you, the parent, to focus on the positive. This takes us back to looking to ourselves and changing our behavior. Instead of chiding our child for every misstep, we will be acknowledging the many good things our child does throughout the day.

Another good thing is that the child feels happy when he does something right, and he knows that you recognize more than his mistakes. This happiness will encourage him to try to do right things more often.

Another thing it does is help your child recognize what is good behavior. By you explaining what he did and how that displayed a certain virtue, he will come to understand the meaning of that virtue better.

I am sure some of you out there are feeling skeptical at this point. You might be thinking, "I want my child to be kind because it is what he should do, not because he gets a sticker for it." Yes, that is true. That is what you want. But you have to work up to it. Your child is moving from believing the world revolves around him and not understanding morals to realizing other people have feelings and that there are moral standards.

This activity helps teach your child what the moral standards are, and it gives him motivation to practice it. The first step before you can have a change of heart is to try. For an adult, perhaps we can try just because we know we should. But for a child, extra motivation might be needed. As you get your child excited about, understanding of, and in the habit of doing the right thing, he will start to do it because it is who he is. He will do it because he loves, not because he gets a sticker.

This month, we have been doing the Straw Bed For Jesus activity I described on the Children's Learning Activities Blog. When we first started, the children were excited to think about the service they had done that day. Over the next few days, I would drop hints like, "That would be nice service if you went and helped Daddy with that right now." As the days have gone by, they have started to recognize opportunities themselves and have sought them out. They are starting to love service (one note, this is much more true for Brayden than for Kaitlyn, who is 2.5).

Hopefully I have convinced you. If not, just try it and see what happens :)

RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS