Quotable Mondays: The Value of a Moment

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"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory."

This is something that I think we come to know is true the older we get. As we look back on life, we come to realize how valuable those small and simple moments can really be in life. As we look back at pictures, we can see something we thought was pretty mundane was really an important moment in life. 

Those everyday, seemingly simple moments can really be key building moments in life. 

Quotable Mondays: It's How You Carry the Load

That C.S. Lewis sure was a man with a gift for wisdom. "It's not the load that breaks you down. It's the way you carry it." 

Here is the funny thing. It seems Jack Sparrow also had his fair share of wisdom. He said basically the same thing:

"The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem."

Oh boy do we ever face some difficult loads in life. We face some trials. We  have some bad days. We struggle. We have a hard time doing it all. We face fatigue, loneliness, monotony, chores, death, sickness, pain...there is a lot we encounter in life. 

But it is all about perspective. It is how you carry the load. It is your attitude. 

You know the thought on laundry? You can either grumble about having to do laundry or you can be grateful that you have laundry to do. Having laundry to do means that you and your family have clothes to wear. Having laundry to do means your children are close by.

It isn't easy to face difficulties with a positive attitude. When you are having a hard time, shift that attitude around and carry that load in a different way. Change that attitude and you can find yourself facing your trials with grace and a smile. 

Follow Valerie's board Quotes on Pinterest.

Related:

• It's All About Perspective
• Positive Attitude Makes All the Difference
• Quotable Mondays: Perspective
• It's A Journey, Not A Destination

Quotable Mondays: Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

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"Every time you feel yourself getting pulled into other people's nonsense, repeat these words: Not my circus. Not my monkeys" -Old Polish Proverb

Easier said than done, right? I love this proverb. I think we have enough to worry about in life without getting caught up in the drama of other people. 

I wouldn't take this to an extreme of not caring for your neighbors and not having empathy and sympathy for those around you. I think the point is to basically mind your own business. 

This is very applicable in the world of parenting. I don't think most people like being told that they are wrong, especially when it comes to being a parent. We all need to remember there is no one right way to be a parent and it is not our place to wander our town and let everyone know what they are doing incorrectly. 

I have a friend who was once followed home in her vehicle and chewed out by a woman older than she. This woman let my friend know things she was "doing wrong" as a parent. This woman was a stranger to my friend and had made this judgement call of wrong based on a few minutes of observance.

I am sure that as a parent you have been corrected by someone, so you know how it feels. Always remember that. Other people's children are not your monkeys, and unless those monkeys come join or mingle with your circus at the time, it isn't your concern. 

And the next time you get informed what you are doing incorrectly (my grandmother once informed me that my 8 month old son would never learn to talk if I didn't talk to him more while I fed him his dinner...), you can just say (aloud or to yourself) "Not YOUR circus, not YOUR monkeys," smile, and move along. 

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Quotable Mondays: Be Thankful for All Things

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Today's quote is from Maya Angelou. She said:

"Be present in all things and thankful for all things."

I set out to find a quote that would stand as a "second witness" to the thought I shared a couple of weeks go on Being Thankful for Our Problems. I love the quote I found. I think she puts the two things together. I think when we try to focus only on the good things in life, we block out a huge portion of life. We aren't able to be present for it. How often to we bury our heads in the sand like an ostrich to protect our hearts from pain? Be present. And at the same time, be thankful. All things are life, and be thankful for it. 

On the same page I found the nice picture above, I found a great quote from Thessalonians. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18: In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

It doesn't say, be sure to give thanks for the good things. It says to give things in every thing.

No matter if you are facing the bitter or the sweet (and we pretty much face both every day, right?),  say thank you. Grow from both facets of life. 

So remember to be thankful. In all things.  

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle is the Hand that Rules the World {Quotable Mondays}

William Ross Wallace wrote a beautiful poem that outlines the significance of the role of a mother titled The Hand that Rocks the Cradle Is the Hand that Rules the World. The title of the poem says it all. Mothers have a significant positive impact on the world. Not just our individual children, but the world. 

While this is a sentiment dear to our hearts as humans and perhaps even something we will quote with warm fuzzies, how much is it truly believed by society as a whole?

When I was a senior in college, I had some professors who really were encouraging me to go on to get a Master's Degree. Let me say, this is without a doubt a dream of mine. I love school. I love learning. I thrived in a university setting. I was named the most outstanding graduate in my department. 

While one professor was very encouraging and respectful of my decisions, another one completely scoffed at me.You see, my goal was to be a stay at home mom. My professor made it clear that she thought I would be completely wasting my talents and abilities to "only" be a stay at home mom. 

But I believe, as Wallace did, that the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. And frankly, even if I thought I would only impact my children and no one else, I would have no problem being a stay at home mom. When I say that, I in no way am trying to put down mothers who work, I am simply saying that I do not feel I wasted my time, talents, abilities, or education by being a stay at home mom.

We mothers have enormous capability to impact the world by our influence on our children. I have heard countless stories from people in their biographies of the mother being a supreme influence in the life that person. I imagine that all people, if they were to write a biography, could pinpoint significant moments from their mothers that brought them to where they are today. 

The next time you are feeling like your role as a mother is insignificant, remember this poem. You are influencing the world. Make it a good one.

Quotable Mondays: Discipline

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Today's quote is:

"Discipline is helping a child solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solutions, not retribution." L.R. Knost

This quote is saying that rather than getting "payback," you should be using discipline to help solve a problem.

A lot of times, we get offended or our pride hurt by our child's actions. We react to their actions with anger rather than what is best for the moment. It is important to think before you act. Give yourself a time out if needed to cool off and get your head where it needs to be. 

Always remember, your child isn't out to get you. Your child is a little more selfish than that, frankly. When your child disobeys, it is to satisfy your child's own wants, not to say, "Ha! I am going to get mom good on this one!" Some actions are done to get your attention, but again, it isn't to get to you, it is to get your attention. Get you to pay attention. 

Your job is to help your child learn what was wrong and have a proper consequence to help your child remember to not do it again in the future. Remember, solutions, not retribution.

See these posts for more:

• Benefits of Teaching Consequences
• Logical Consequences Help:http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/04/logical-consequences-help.html
• Logical Consequences: What Was Mis-Used
• Considerations for Correction
• Commanding Obedience within Reason
• The "D" Word
• Discipline: Progress is a Spiral

Quotable Mondays: Prepare Children to Educate Themselves

I have often said that one of the greatest, if not the greatest, benefits I have from my college education is that I really learned how to think and how to learn while there. I think if a person can teach themselves and be a lifelong learner, he or she is set for life. Possibilities are endless for those people, especially in our modern day. With technology, we have the capability to "google," "youtube," or "pinterest" something and learn how to do it.

With that in mind, I love this quote:

"The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives." -Robert M. Hutchins

This quote can be applied to any form of education a child recieves--which is basically every realm of life. Teach your children how to improve themselves in their cooking skills, cleaning skills, gardening skills, mechanic skills, and other skills that come in handy in the home. Teach your children that no matter the age or life experience, they can learn something new. They can learn how to sew. They can learn how to bake a pie crust. They can learn how to change their own oil. Lead by example and explain with words that it is possible. 

Teach your children that new talents can be worked on and developed throughout their lives. When I graduated high school, I didn't know how to do many of the things I now do. I hadn't ever grown a garden. I hadn't cooked anything to be impressed with. I had barely learned how to sew during my senior year. I didn't do crafts at all. These are all things I taught myself to do during my 20s. I still have things I want to learn. 

My husband has always wanted to play the guitar. He has talked about it for years. This year for his birthday, I gave him guitar lessons.

Brains that continue to learn thrive and stay sharp throughout a lifetime. Our lives are so much longer than our first 18-22 years. There is no reason to think that once we graduate high school or college that we are done learning and have reached the peak of our abilities. 

Remember as you are teaching your children, you wan to teach them to be able to figure things out and take the necessary steps to learn something if they don't know. If your child asks you a question that you don't know the answer to, say, "I am not sure! Let's look that up and find out." Then show your child how you research something to find an answer. 

Always keep this goal of teaching your child how to learn as you parent. This means allowing your child to struggle to figure something out. This means requiring your child practice. This means allowing your child to do chores you set before them (even if their work is not as perfect as yours). This means teaching them to love to read. This means teaching them to research.

This is all taught a little here and a little there over the years. If you keep it in mind as you parent, you will succeed!

Quotable Mondays: Teaching Children

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Today's quote is:

"Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I'll understand." Ben Franklin

This is a great quote for any way you are trying to teach a child. Whether it be sports, school, morals, or discipline, involving the child is what helps solidify real understanding. This is one reason the principle of Ask and Tell is so powerful. This principle involves the children in the process of what you are trying to teach them, so it helps them remember. 

Keep this in mind as you are teaching your children life skills like cooking and cleaning (see 

Teaching Children Life Skills). 

You can tell your child how to do something and you can show your child, but the real way to get your child to really understand how to do those things is to just let the child do it (though you want to have adequate teaching and showing before handing the reins over). 

As you are teaching your children whatever it is you are teaching, keep this idea in mind. Figure out how you can involve your child in the learning process.

Remind Children They Are Wonderful {Quotable Mondays}

I remember reading a book when I was in High School called What Kids Need to Succeed. I also remember that in that book, it talked about how children rise to your expectations. If you expect them to be great, they will be. If you expect them to fail, they will. That has always stuck with me. 

I found this quote on Pinterest recently, and it reminded me of the idea that children rise to our expectations:

You do not have to make your children into wonderful people. You just have to remind them that they are wonderful people. If you do this consistently from the day they are born they will believe it easily. -William Martin

Children really are amazing. They are wonderful. Perfect? No. Do they have bad days? Yes. Do they sometimes drive us crazy? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean that they are not wonderful! 

When you believe a child is wonderful and full of potential, he or she will believe it also. I have a story to illustrate.

I recently directed a musical at our elementary school. I really wanted my children to be able to have the experience and I figured if it was going to happen, someone was going to have to be willing to be in charge. So I did it. It was scary and I had no real idea what I was doing, but I had a lot of great help from a lot of amazing people and the whole thing was a success! 

We did it all with a lot less rehearsal time than is ever done for a show. Despite that, we received raving reviews. Afterward, my husband asked me what I thought was unique to what we did that made it so great. Was it organization? Good time management? 

Those things could have been it, but I figured the organization and time management just meant we could accomplish the same amount of work in a shorter amount of time. So that wouldn't be it. 

I pondered on it for a week and decided that I think what made such a difference was that I believed in those kids. I never had a doubt or worry that they would be able to pull it off. I just knew they could. If a student was personally worried, I would work with that student one-on-one and let that student know what I thought he/she could do. As I pondered this, I remembered the idea of children rising to expectations. We never had an expectation other than that it would be great. Those children had a whole team of women who believed in them. 

There is of course always a fine line to things. You can expect children to be many things that they can't be. We can put pressure on children that they aren't equipped to handle. Just like I recently wrote about, you can't expect a horse to sprout wings and fly. It is our job as parents to figure out how much expectations to have in our children. This is a very hard thing to figure out as parents. Do the best you can, apply expectations with a pure heart (don't try to live your regrets through your children), get to know your children, and always remember prayer as you traverse parenting. 

In the end, remember children are wonderful. If you believe it, your child will, too. 

Quotable Mondays: Sacrifice and Investment

Today's quote is:

"You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make."
-Gordon B. Hinckley

Do you have things in your life you are sacrificing for? There are so many right! I think we often sit and think we shouldn't have to sacrifice for things. We somehow think that sacrificing is antiquated. Not only that, it isn't fair. We feel entitled to the life we dream of and we feel entitled to it now. 

What are some of the things we sacrifice? We sacrifice material things. We might not have as nice of a car, big of a house, or stylish of cloths as we have envisioned for ourselves. The idea of waiting to save up for something is pretty absurd--we deserve it now! Why should we have to sacrifice and save for something?

We often need to sacrifice our time in order to help others in various capacities. If we want to be in good shape, we might need to sacrifice favorite foods and precious sleep time in order to get that workout in and reach our fitness goals.

And when it comes to parenting, what don't we sacrifice! But should we really be required to sacrifice money, time, travel dreams, career ambitions, and a clean house (among very few things) in order to be a parent?

I believe we should.

I believe that sacrifice is a good thing. I believe sacrificing leads us to be better, kinder, more loving, more patient, and more content people. 

"If you don't sacrifice for what you want, what you want will be the sacrifice."

As a parent, there are many things you will need to sacrifice. Sometimes that will mean instead of cleaning up that big mess, you spend some time playing with your child. Sometimes that will mean you feel like you spend every other holiday locked up in some far off room with a baby while the rest of the family parties. Sometimes that will mean letting your child learn to sort something out herself instead of running to her rescue every time, whether sleep training a baby or listening to a child talk about a mean girl at school.

Sacrifice for what you want. If you want that good relationship with your child, put the sacrifice of time in to attain that. 

I know sometimes (often times) being a mom is hard, thankless, tiring work. Some days are really brutal. On those days (after you have had your time to get the emotion out) sit back and think about your sacrifice now and what it is doing to help you invest to your future. 

We are not creatures who "deserve" and easy life of completely fulfilled dreams, whims, and fantasies. How would that help us grow into better people? We are creatures who must toil and work and sacrifice for the things that are worth it in life. That is how we invest into ourselves for the future.

Quotable Mondays: Gratitude

Today I wanted to post about gratitude. Since it is Thanksgiving month, rather than highlight one quote, I am going to post several that I like.

It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy.

If we do not feel grateful for what we already have, what makes us think we'd be happy with more?

Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude.

Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.

Commentary on that--I fond this on Pinterest and the comment on it talked about raising four children in a one bedroom house. This idea is something I often think about. My grandmother raised seven children in a very small house with only one bathroom. There were four bedrooms--three for the kids. She also did this in Wyoming where it is real winter for about 8 months of the year...in other words, very little playing outside happening. I try to remember this when I start to think about what I "need" in my house. 

8 Important Ways That Gratitude Can Change Your Life:

1. Have a morning gratitude session
2. When you are having a hard day...make a gratitude list
3. Instead of getting mad at someone, show gratitude.
4. Instead of criticising your significant other, show gratitude
5. Instead of complaining about your kids, be grateful for them
6. When you face a major challenge, be grateful for it
7. When you suffer a tragedy, be grateful for the life you still have
8. Instead of looking at what you don't have, look at what you do have.

I thought that was a great list!

You can see all of my posts on gratitude here: Gratitude

And here are some of the best:

• Be Thankful for Everything We Do Have
• Gratitude
• Our Favorite Attitude...
• Quotable Mondays: Gratitude
• Teaching Gratitude

Doubt Your Doubts {Quotable Mondays}

What a quote! Every six months, my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) has what is known as "General Conference." This is a two day period where we listen to 8-10 hours of "church." This might not sound awesome but it is! During our latest conference, President Dieter F. Uctdorf said this quote:

"Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."

At the time this was spoken live, I said to my husband, "Did you catch that?" Because in context, this little phrase was said as part of an 18 minute long talk. That phrase was one of those phrases that is so true it pierces you to the core. 

And I was not alone! Pinterest soon exploded with various graphic versions of this quote (want to view them all? Go here: http://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=doubt%20your%20doubts%20before%20you%20doubt%20your%20faith). I actually really love this one, but it wasn't done to the point of being very readable so I didn't choose it as my main one:

Pause and think about this quote. Just ponder on it a moment.

Isn't that powerful? 

I think this quote has many implications. Obviously it can be applied to religious faith. I think it can also be applied to faith in other things we have stewardship over. How about faith in parenting? Do you ever doubt something you have had success with or have seen success with? I think we have all been there! Sleep training, discipline methods, trudging through chores...we all have moments of doubt. Will this work? Is the effort worth it? Should we even bother?

Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.

The obvious caveat here is that parenting methodology is seldom "doctrine." There are things the Lord has said in respect to parenting, but in large manner we are left to make our own best judgement calls. There is no manual and no one right way to parent--not for a family in general and not for each individual child within that family. So yes, there will be times you make mistakes. Sometimes things that worked for one child will not work for another. Sometimes you will find things don't actually jive with your family. 

But if you are a prayerful person and you frequently ponder and pray over how to best parent your child, you will be guided by the Lord in what to do for that child. As you move forward on what the Lord has told and inspired you for that child, doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. Trust in the Lord. And once you see your miracles, continue in the faith of what you have done rather than casting your eyes about looking for other explanations. Doubt not, fear not.

Quotable Mondays (on a Wednesday): Time with God

Today's quote: 

If you find yourself a bit irritated or overwhelmed, it's a sign that you're spending less time with God and more time with this world.

I saw this quote on Pinterest and it reminded me of my recent post on living at a frantic pace (how you don't need to do it).

And with that in mind....

Why is quotable Monday happening on a Wednesday?

Well I have four kids. And all four kids are sick. And one is cutting molars. And due to being sick and teething, it is late in the afternoon and Brinley has yet to nap today...And so my time is, well, stretched. And so I am taking my advice and not living frantically. 

And I brought this on myself, really. I was talking to Kaitlyn's teacher on the phone this morning. I told her I wished my kids would all get sick at the same time so I don't have to have a sick kid here and a sick kid there for 2 weeks straight. And my wish came true! And I think in a day or two I will be glad! But not today.

Parenting--sometimes you need to laugh at yourself {Quotable Mondays}

Laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes you are faced with situations in life where the best reaction is either to laugh or cry...and while a good cry is sometimes necessary, laughing is really my preferred method of reacting in these situations.

On my "HaHa" board on Pinterest, I have a few things pinned that are just so true, and funny because it is true, that apply to parenting. Here are some of my favorites:

Seriously! Parents still like to have fun--to go movies, stay up talking with friends, have parties...you stay up late watching a movie on Friday night...then your children still get up at the same time the next day!

Yep. You become a mom and the days all pretty much just blur together. But I have found that there is some excitement to different days of the week again once your children start school because the weekend is different.

But weekend also means church is coming, and I love church and find it to be important and all, but we all know when the phrase "Day of Rest" is applied to Sunday that doesn't apply to moms--at least not moms with young children. Maybe when they get older? I don't know. Not holding my breath.

Really just enough said.

Seriously! Let me tell you, what one child can do alone pales in comparison to a couple of them together. But I also must share, so far as my experience goes with 0-8 year olds, the most difficult age so far as messes goes is three. The three year old is mobile and strong enough to make an impact, but doesn't have the attention span that older kids do to stick to one toy--especially when you have more than one three year old playing together. 

What does this have to do with parenting? Well, it is our children who suck our capacity to remember things. That is what. 

Do you have any you love?

Quotable Mondays: You Can't Do Everything

Today's quote is: 

"You can do anything, but not everything." -David Allen

This idea has been on my mind a lot lately. I think it is because I have a fourth child and anytime you add a child to your life, you add another responsibility that takes up a lot of time. Any time you add a responsibility that takes up a lot of time, you have to find that time from somewhere. Unfortunately, there wasn't a lot of time I spent idle, so that time has to come from something I was doing that I wanted to be doing and felt I needed to be doing.

Where do you take it? What has to give? Do you drop something all together or do you give a little less to multiple things and hope they all work out?

I don't have the answers. I have the basics--the "whys"--and that is an important place to start. Here are some posts I have written on the whys of this dilemma:

• A Good Woman
• Slow the Pace
• 10 Ways to Save Your Sanity
• Good Sacrifice vs. Foolish Sacrifice
• It's A Journey, Not A Destination
• Motherhood: Some Uplifting Words (again)
• Increasing Our Capacity

I think an important first step is accepting that you cannot do everything. And that is so hard! The problem is, like this quote says, you can do anything. You can! Anything you want to do, you can do it. And because of that, you can want to do everything! You can want to be an excellent cook, impressive cleaner, fun mom, wise mom, gardener extraordinaire, fitness guru, on-time scrapbooker, splendid seamstress, PTA president, queen of service, and one of those people who actually does 1% of what she pins on Pinterest...But you can't do everything. You can't do it all. You just don't have time for it. 

And so you have to figure out what the best things are for you to be doing and start there. You can add in other things if there is time after the best and most important things (but of course it seems like there isn't!). And so I love this quote. 

You can do anything.

But you can't do everything.

So pick what your anythings are and sit back and enjoy those who choose the other anythings to focus on. 

And as a side note, this quote also applies nicely to the activities our children participate in. We all have talented children who have a whole future ahead of them. They have the ability to do anything! They have so many options and opportunities! But they can't do everything, either. 

Quotable Mondays: Baby Changes Life

Today's quote is:

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for." -Unknown

Isn't this so true? And it is just a taste of how a baby changes life.

In what ways has baby changed your life?

Want to join the fun? Share your thoughts on the quote either here in the comments or on your own blog and link up in the comments.

You can find quotes I love here: http://pinterest.com/valplowman/quotes/

Quotable Mondays: Hang On!

Happy President's Day!

Today's quote is:

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."

-Thomas Jefferson

I love Thomas Jefferson. 

We have all been there right? And we all will be again. At the end of our rope.

I like that thought--tie a knot and just hang on there. The next time you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on there!

Quotable Mondays: Perspective

Today's quote is:

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."

-Abraham Lincoln

I love this thought. It is a great way to simply put the power of perspective. Many years ago, I wrote a post on this:

It's All About Perspective

How has your perspective changed with experience? Or how has your perspective you have taken changed your mood?

Quotable Mondays: Wisdom

Today's quote is: 

"Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain."

Ah this is so true! We gain wisdom through our experiences. This quote is quite meaningful to me since I just finished reading The Giver by Lois Lowery. If you have read it, you know why. If not, I recommend it. It is quite though provoking. 

This is true in parenting. Moms who are able to give you advice to help solve your problems have either a) read enough information to know what good solutions are or (and most likely) b) have been through the difficulties themselves to know how to help you solve those difficulties. "B" is true of myself. I am able to give advice on how to solve a myriad of issues because I have been through it and know what worked for us to solve those issues. 

So the next time you envy the wisdom of someone you know, recognize the "pain" required to help her achieve that wisdom. And the next time you are going through your own pain, try to hold strong, knowing that this pain will bring you wisdom.

Want to join the fun? Share your thoughts on the quote either here in the comments or on your own blog and link up in the comments. 

You can find quotes I love here: http://pinterest.com/valplowman/quotes/

Quotable Mondays: Faith to Try

Happy Civil Rights Day--or Martin Luther King Jr. Day-- to you!

Today's quote is:

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. 

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

This quote is definitely applicable in any case in life. It is very applicable in parenting. We take many first steps that are full of faith. Even the decision to become a parent is a step of faith. I also like this idea in line with the idea that "progress is a spiral." With our children, we are taking steps up this winding staircase. We don't see the entire staircase and we don't even always see our progress, but we have faith that we are moving in the right direction.

What have you don't recently that required faith?

Want to join the fun? Share your thoughts on the quote either here in the comments or on your own blog and link up in the comments. 

You can find quotes I love here: http://pinterest.com/valplowman/quotes/