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Going to Church Without Ruining Your Baby's Sleep

Going to Church Without Ruining Your Baby's Sleep

I love church. I really do. But when you have a little one, you often spend so much time in the hall with that baby that you wonder "What is the point? Why am I here? I should just be home with my baby! There is no point to come here and walk the halls and make my baby tired." I totally get you. I would wager that 95% of mothers who have been there in those halls have thought the same thing. You aren't alone! I have heard mother after mother utter that frustration over the years. It is hard! I have been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt.

Despite the murmurings that have played around in my head and on my tongue, I do feel strongly that church is worth it, even if you are in the halls the whole time. Strongly enough that we went through all four of our children and their baby years still going to church. Church was usually exhausting. Exhausting! Day of rest? Nope! The baby got off schedule. I usually had to have Monday as a recovery day and get back on track day. But going, even amidst the difficulty, set the tone for our family. We go to church each week. That's what we do. Sidenote here, but lest I lead any of you astray and into false hope, Sunday still would not be considered "restful" to me at this point in life.

Our church is 3 hours long. We change times from year to year, starting at 9, 11, or 1. No matter the time, you run into a nap with a baby when you have 3 hour long church. We made it through, everyone remained a great sleeper, and we came out the other side better for having done it. Here are some things you can do to preserve sleep and still attend church.

1-Try to have naps at church.
In an ideal world, sleep still happens even on Sunday. If church is during a nap, do what you can to work a nap in there. Brayden slept in his car seat. It was a short nap--usually around 30 minutes--but it was better than nothing at all. You might be able to set up a pack and play somewhere. You might be able to use a sling to have a nap in. You might just be carrying your baby during a nap (side note, that makes your arm go super dead. Rest the arm holding baby up on an arm rest or on your spouse if you have no arm rest).

Going to Church Without Ruining Your Baby's Sleep2-Adjust the schedule at home.
There were times I would start a nap 30 minutes early on Sunday so we could sneak at least part of a nap in before church. On those days, I usually also woke baby up in the morning 30 minutes early that day, just so waketime length would be long enough before nap started. There were other times we went straight to nap after church on Sunday in order to catch up on sleep even it wasn't a normal "nap time." Your Sunday might be very different from your normal schedule, but that's okay. Do what you can to avoid total overly tiredness.

3-Skip the nap at church.
All three of my girls stopped sleeping at church from a young age--like 4ish weeks old. No more sleeping at church. For a newborn, 3 hours without sleep is a long time! But they wouldn't sleep, and you just can't force sleep. So I skipped the nap. Then we would come home, I would put them right down, and they would take a longer-than-usual nap to make up for it.

4-Use sleep props if needed.
Maybe you don't usually use a pacifier, but it helps your baby sleep at church. Maybe you don't typically allow nursing to sleep to happen, but it might be the ticket to get your little one to fall asleep at church or to fall asleep after church without having to cry. When Kaitlyn was a baby, we put her in the swing when we got home from church. I knew she was overly tired and the swing helped her just fall asleep peacefully.

5-Add a nap.
Your baby might typically take 2 naps a day, but on church day, you might add in a third nap. If one of the naps was skipped or shortened because of church, you can add a third nap just to keep baby from getting overly tired.

6-Be consistent other days.
Babies can handle disruptions every once in a while. Just be mindful of what your Saturday looks like and your Monday (and possibly Tuesday). A huge reason Monday is my laundry day is because from the beginning, my babies needed Monday to be a day at home. No disruptions to the routine. If I was going to be home, might as well get all of the laundry done while I was at it. Don't make long-standing commitments on Mondays if you need a recovery day. I promise it is a short time in your lifespan. Mondays won't be home days for ever and ever.

7-Get someone to watch baby. 
If you have a family member or someone you trust who doesn't have church the same time as you, you could have that person come sit with baby during nap time. Brinley was a super consistent sleeper. We would take her to church during her waketime, then bring her home for nap and my mom would be here while she napped. My mom just read a book. Brinley slept until we got home. This was a solution we used for a while during Brinley's more sensitive baby months.

8-Have someone else hold baby to sleep.
Sometimes babies just won't sleep in moms arms. They feel uncomfortable and want mom to fix it. Then they get with someone they don't know as well and they sleep. Sometimes, mom has anxiety about sleep coming. Babies totally feel that. Stranger doesn't feel worried about it, baby relaxes, and sleeps. Sometimes there are people who are just talented at putting baby to sleep in your arms. If you have someone at church who is dying to hold a cute, sleeping baby, let it happen!

Conclusion
I know church gets hard some days and the sleep disruption seems unbearable, but you can survive it! Put in the effort and give it a go. It will be worth it.

 Handling Church--the weekly disruption

Going to Church with a Babywise Baby {Guest Post}

I am so happy to have Claire here today talking about her church tips. We can all use good church tips! I am over at Claire's today talking about Solving Nap Troubles, which is another topic we all need. So go check that out. 


by Claire

Getting to church can be kind of a mess with a baby.  I was/am much more flexible on Sundays with my second baby, but that's just because she's my second.  I think it's hard to balance all of that with baby #1.  I wanted to write out what we do with our kids when it comes to church.  Maybe this will help some of you out there who feel like Sundays are just absolute chaos.

With Duke, we were back at church when he was 6 weeks old.  I was nursing and he was still so young, so I obviously just kept him with me.  He would fall asleep on the way to church, stay asleep in the service for a bit, and then wake to eat.  With Nova, we brought her to church around 4 weeks and did the same thing.

This system worked for awhile, but then things got tricky.  If the car ride didn't get them to sleep or if they couldn't stay asleep, that basically meant they'd miss an entire morning nap, which is rough on babies (especially Babywise babies who love their sleep)!

We needed a new plan.  So, here's what worked for us from around 3-9 months of age:

7:30 a.m.  Wake baby early and feed (8:00 a.m. is usually the start of our day)
9:00-9:15 a.m.  Put baby down for nap (Obviously the waketime before this nap differs depending on age)
10:10 a.m.  Wake baby and head to church (I always have everything in the car and ready to go)
10:25 a.m.  Arrive at church and instruct nursery workers to feed close to the time I prefer

(Side note:  Once you start taking advantage of the nursery, life gets a lot easier.  Duke started going to the nursery at 6 months.  I had a pumped bottle ready for them to feed and I knew that I'd miss that feeding every Sunday.  I honestly can't remember, but I'm sure I occasionally pumped at some point in the day when we got home.  Because I had to stop nursing/pumping with Nova at 2 months, we sent her to the nursery sooner - I think around 3-4 months.  The nursery is a lifesaver.)

With this schedule, both of my babies typically took a bottle around 11-11:30 at church.  There were a few occasions where they would fall asleep after the bottle, but mostly, they were up playing.  After this, we head home, eat lunch, and do afternoon naps.
Eventually, with Duke, we let him wake at normal time on Sunday and he'd do just fine to take a little nap in the nursery cribs during church.  Nova is 8 months now and we have yet to try that out, but I have a feeling the day is coming soon where the timing of the cat nap at home just won't work before church.

In summary, don't skip out on church (or anything really important to you, for that matter) just because it may interrupt your daily routine.  I am firm believer that keeping things scheduled and predicable is the best way to go, but allow yourself a little grace every once and a while.  Kids will get used to the way you do things, and if Sundays are a bit different, they will get the hang of it!

Claire is a SAHM of 2 and blogs at My Devising.

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Surviving Sundays {Guest Post}


Attending church services on a regular basis is very important to my family. However, keeping my children on their schedules is also a top priority to our family! We knew when we decided to follow Babywise techniques that we would have to make some sacrifices but that attending worship wasn't something we would sacrifice.

I now have a four year old and a sixteen month old and thought I'd share some of our tips for handling children at different stages during worship service. We personally try to avoid taking our kids to the nursery (and our church doesn't have a separate worship service specifically for children either) as we feel it's important for them to be in services with us. Their little minds are soaking in more than we even can realize and we want to train them to behave during services and teach them how to participate in services as well!

Infant:
  • Our church services are from 10:30-11:30 so when our babies are little it's usually feeding time. I pump prior to services and bring a bottle to church. I'm just personally not comfortable nursing in public and don't want to leave services to go nurse in a private setting either so pumping a bottle works great. Often it's the only time my baby will get a bottle during the week so it also helps keep them used to bottle feeding. 
  • Since we would have to leave for church during nap time my little ones would often fall asleep in the car seat on the way and we would just bring in the infant car seat to services to let them continue sleeping. 
  • Both of my children were slow drinkers so they would typically eat close to the entire hour. After they finished we'd go change their diaper and then try to keep them quiet for the remainder of services.
Older Infant:
  • Once our kids are on the 4 hour schedule it's a little trickier because we have to leave for church right in the middle of nap-time. We have found that it's best to wake them up earlier on Sunday mornings (we typically wake them up at 7:10 but on Sunday's we wake them up at 6:45). That way we can put them down for their morning nap extra early as well (Rather than them going down at 9 like usual we put them down as early as 8:10). We try to have their awake time that morning very active to help wear them out and make them tired enough to sleep that early for nap. Usually it works out where they get a 45-60 min nap prior to us having to leave for church services so they aren't completely exhausted for the entire time!
  • Since we wake them up early and feed them early for breakfast, it also allows me to push their lunch earlier too and I will do the same pump a bottle thing to feed during church services.
  • Once they are eating solid food it is a little tricky, with our son my husband would take him out of services to go feed him jarred baby food. With my daughter, we didn't stress as much as we did with our son (typical second child, right?). I knew she didn't have to have solids at every mealtime and that solid food was more about learning than it was about nutrition at that age so I just skipped solids for that one feeding time a week.
Toddler:
  • Once I wean my children from nursing I push their lunch time back to noonish rather than right after their morning naps. This means that they no longer have a meal time during church services. I will bring each child a sippy cup (even the 4 year old!) of water and a snack cup with simple, unmessy type foods (raisins, goldfish, cereal, etc). Then we rush home to eat lunch as soon as services let out.
  • Since a toddler no longer has a morning nap, we also no longer have to deal with working around it so Sunday mornings get easier!
  • Keeping a toddler still and quiet during services is a challenge. I try to have them run around a lot before services start. This is a great chance to visit with others in the congregation since we have to rush out right after!
  • Since a toddler cannot yet whisper I work hard at keeping them quiet by keeping them engaged with lots and lots of toys and a variety of things to keep their interest. I try not to be overly concerned with "baby talk." Our preacher has stressed many times that he loves hearing the children during services b/c it means he knows they are there and that's important! I will repeat anything they say in a whisper and put my finger to their lips to remind them to be quiet. Usually around 18 months they are able to whisper and understand the need to be quiet during that time!
  • If the toddler gets too loud one of us will take them out and sit with them in another area of the church where we can hear what's going on but they can't disrupt others. Our church has a "training" area set up just for this purpose!
Older Toddler:
  • Training becomes very important at this stage. Once our children have the ability to whisper and we know for sure that they understand what is expected of them during services, we will begin disciplining for misbehavior.
  • We give a few warnings and bring along our spank stick (a paint stick) from home to use as a rod of correction. If they make a poor choice that requires correction we will take them out of services, discipline, comfort, then bring them back in.
Preschooler:
  • At this stage we expect more out of our children. Our son is four and we still allow him to play with toys, color, eat snacks etc. But we don't allow him to lay down during services and expect him to stop and pray when prayer is taking place, stand and pay attention during the songs, and be respectful during other aspects of worship. He is in charge of giving our tithing in the collection plate and usually sits and listens during the lesson as well. 
I bring both a diaper bag and a book bag to church on Sundays. Our son carries the book bag with his things in it and I keep our daughters things (and the snack stuff) in my diaper bag. Here are the things I typically include:

For the younger child (infant age) I'll bring soft toys and chew toys. Once at the toddler age our daughter pretty much wants everything our son has so I've bought two of most of our church things. I'm big on sharing but during church services is not the time to train in that area! Each of them have a little Bible, as well as multiple "look and find" type books, magnadoodles are awesome with no mess concerns! I also ADORE our quiet book! I found it on Amazon as I'm not craft enough to make it myself :)
Little People wheelie cars are wonderful as their wheels don't make any noises and they are age appropriate even for a toddler. I have also found many great sensory type games (nuts and bolts, people that stack together, and yarn with beads to lace) and even great soft puzzles at our local dollar store! I bring a clipboard and use Bible coloring books (again, a dollar store find) and our son has enjoyed drawing and coloring since he was close to two years old. My favorite church bag item is a soft picture book that I filled with photos of our family. Both of our kids love looking through it!
 For the snack cups I love these by Munchkin!



As a parent with young children church services can sometimes feel like you're in "survival" mode. I recently joked with our preacher that I have no clue what he preaches on most of the time. It can be tough, even with well-behaved children, to get through it. There have been times I have thought "why do we bother?" but then I am reminded that it's all worth it. When our son asks questions during the lesson that make me realize he's paying attention. When the elderly members at our congregation light up with pure joy when seeing our daughter walking down the aisles after services. When we see our children mature in their prayer life and their relationships with the Lord. Every phase in life has it's own struggles and challenges and I know we may not be able to be as active in our church family as we'd like to be during this portion in our lives. However, we always strive to put God first in all things and I'm so thankful that we are instilling that same value into our children from birth! It may be tough at times, but it's always worth it!!!

Reader Church Questions

Church and Eating
  • Emily said...
    I was wondering what you do about solids on Sundays. My 7month DD nurses/eats 7:30(rice, fruit), 11:00, 2:00(veggies, little fruit), 5:00, 7:30(rice,veggies,fruit).We are at church from 1-4 so that falls during a solid feeding. She can eat fingerfoods (baby bisquits, veggie puffs). Should I just let her snack on those at church or should I give her solids at the feeding before or after this one?
    August 17, 2008 3:23 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Emily,I would for sure offer finger foods at church. I would most likely also do solids before church if she will eat them. That way she won't be too hungry at church.
    August 17, 2008 10:58 PM

Reader Questions About Me

  • Krystal said...
    Hey, I have been wondering for awhile now if you are LDS? You said something about 3 hr. church, so that's why I was wondering. We also have 3 hr. church, and that is definently a challenging time! It is guarenteed going to disrupt naptime! :)
    April 7, 2008 12:50 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Krystal,I am! You are right, the three hour schedule always disrupts a baby's schedule. :)
    April 7, 2008 9:47 PM
  • Rachel Stellaaa said...
    Krystal, I was wondering the same thing. Three hours of church is a killer for my little guy (ok, and for me too). Does any one have any tricks to help their kids who still require naps make it through church--whether that be some magical way of getting them to sleep through church,working around a skipped nap, etc?
    May 23, 2008 9:17 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Rachel,I recently did a post on church...here is the link:
    Church: Weekly Disruption : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/church-weekly-disruption.html
    May 26, 2008 9:59 AM
  • Lorri said...
    a side note having nothing to do with babywise but wondering if you were LDS?
    August 22, 2008 2:56 PM

    Plowmanators said...
    Yes, Lorri, I am :)
    August 28, 2008 7:54 AM

Best Toys: Church Toys

Our church is three hours long. Up until 18 months old, children are with the parents for all three hours. When you consider missed naps and missed meals...that makes for a fussy baby/pretoddler and necessitates some great toys. After 18 months, children are with the parents for 1 hour 10 minutes, so even after 18 months, great toys are nice to help keep children quiet during this time.

We have a special bag that is our church bag. In it are our church toys. Those toys and books stay in that bag all week and only come out for Sunday. These toys need to be quiet toys and yet entertaining toys. Here is a list of toys we have in our church bag, as well as some I think would be good additions. There will be toys for all age ranges.


  • Favorites: All children have a favorite toy of the moment. I will often add the favorite toy of the moment to the bag on Sunday (so long as it is a quiet and small toy).
  • Blanket: If you do blanket time, church is a great place to get benefit from it. Remember to training times of non-conflict; church is not the time or place to teach your child about blanket time.
  • Nesting Cups: Nesting cups are a great toy for a child under 18 months. For the child over 18 months, they are often more adept at stacking them on top of each other, which just creates a tall tower that can make a lot of noise coming down. But for the younger child, it offers lots of time for the child to focus on nesting the cups together.

  • Teething Toys: A tired child is a child whose pain from teething will be magnified. Teething toys are great for church: Teething Toys
  • Books: Books are a must for church. We have special books for church that stay in the bag all week and only come out at church. For a baby, you might want to have a favorite book, along with some that he doesn't see all week. I like to have books that are church related (like scripture story books, books with pictures of Jesus, etc.). For younger babies, I also will take some Baby Einstein books--especially the ones that are bath books so the baby can chew on it all he wants to. Touch and Feel Books are great for church, also, as are Lift the Flap books.
  • Quiet Books: Each child has a quiet book made especially for him/her. I like to get a little 6x6 Scrapbooks and make special pages for the child. I have a page with a picture and name of that child. I also do pages of siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, and cousins. I have a page with the ABCs and a page for numbers. I have a page with colors and a page with shapes. I have pictures of Jesus and pictures of prophets. I then have pages that are specialized for the child's interest. Brayden has a page with different types of trucks and a page for sports, while Kaitlyn's has several pages of animals and a miscellaneous page with stickers of favorite things (rubber ducks, Elmo, Winnie the Pooh, snowman, etc.). Brayden's is pages that were laminated and then spiral-bound together. I decided to do a scrapbook format for Kaitlyn so I could update family pictures as new people were added to the family. You can also buy quiet books that have buttons to do up and zippers to zip...they are nice little quiet challenges.
  • Foam Alphabet Letters: We have some small, foam alphabet letters that hook together. They are great toys for church because they require concentration. I can't find any on Amazon, but I have seen them at various stores.

  • Travel Set: We have a Fold and Play Travel Set of Thomas. It has little vinyl stickers (that re-stick) that can be placed on the activity board.
  • Blank Pads of Paper: We have a blank pad of paper for each child so they can draw, scribble, and color. We use this one by Melissa & Doug. Something I like about it is that it is a 6x9--so a smaller size, which is convenient for the church bag (and of course we also have crayons):
  • Travel Size Magna Doodle: We have a travel size Magna Doodle. I love the Magna Doodle because you know there is no danger of your child getting any crayon on the chair or floor as he colors.
  • Cars/Trucks: Both Brayden and Kaitlyn like to drive around trucks. We don't let them zoom around; they drive them in their small little spot. Also, we don't allow "vrooms" :)
  • Dolls/Animals: Kaitlyn will sometimes take a doll or stuffed animal along. When I was kid, my mom got some Cabbage Patch Lil Sprouts and they have been nice small dolls to take to church.
  • Lacing Cards: We have some lacing cards for church. They are really great for prolonged periods of quiet concentration.
  • Finger Puppets: My kids love to play with finger puppets at church. There are a lot of cute Finger Puppets available. My friend got some from IKEA that are very cute and they were a great price.
  • Bead Stringing: While writing this, I thought that perhaps Bead Stringing Sets could be fun. Consider it carefully. I could see beads being spilled all over the place :). There are sets with large beads, so those might be good. You could also do something like Cheerios and yarn.
  • Felt Board: I also thought a small felt board could be fun: Felt Board Set
  • Coloring Book: We have some coloring books that are of things like Noah and such. Religious Coloring Books . As much as possible, I really like to have our activities at church still be geared toward church. You could also Google "Bible coloring page" and get lots of free pages you can print off.
There is my list. Please share your good ideas for quiet activities for church!
Related Posts/Blog Labels:

Index: Church

McKenna Newborn Summary: Week Six


This is a summary for McKenna the ages 5-6 weeks old, the sixth week. This week was wonderful. There were no bumps, though also no strides.

GAS
McKenna's gas seems to be getting better. She has gripe water twice a day: once in the morning and once in the evening. After every other feeding, she has gas drops. The gripe water does just fine. It doesn't seem to be better than gas drops, but it works just as well.

BURPING
Perhaps her gas is getting better because I have found a new burping trick. I burp her after feedings and all goes well. The trick is right before her nap. I swaddle her, then I hold her up in burping position with her head by my shoulder. I then very lightly pat her back. A burp often comes out. For some reason, she burps really easily while swaddled.

NURSING
She is continuing to be more alert for nursings. There are a few she even keeps her eyes open the whole time. It seems what is happening now is 15-20 minutes on side one and 10-15 minutes on side two. So it is about the same length overall, but split differently.

WAKETIME
Waketime is the same this week. I currently shoot for 50 minutes of waketime. If she shows signs of needing to go down sooner, I put her down. Sometimes she doesn't get down until 60 and that has been just fine. But at 50, she is in a quiet alert phase and just drifts off to sleep. She doesn't have trouble at other points, but when I watch her on the video monitor, she will turn her head back and forth instead of just falling asleep.

NAPS
Naps went back on track this week. She slept her full time for naps and went back to needing to be woken to eat for most naps. The first day after her growth spurt was over, she woke early from her morning nap. I could tell she was not hungry at all. I figured she had just gotten in the habit of waking early. I found McKenna does not sleep in the swing at all, so that trick of mine does not work for her (see Waking Early From Naps/Won't Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html). Instead, I held her until she was almost asleep, but still put her in her crib awake. I didn't rock her at all or anything. I just held her. I had to hold her for about 10-20 minutes. Then I put her in her bed and she went back to sleep to finish the nap. I only had to do it for that one nap and she went right back to her old self.

NIGHTTIME SLEEP
Here is where I wanted progression and saw none. This was the first week that I didn't set my alarm to get two feedings out of her during the night. She continued to wake twice each night. I had mixed emotions about it. Of course I would like to go to one feeding a night. But I can also tell that she still needs them. McKenna was tiny at birth, and at 6 weeks she is still smaller than a lot of babies when they are born. She is growing just fine and as she should, but she is small. So I am not sure she can quite make it through the night on one feeding, but I do think she is getting there.

I also wonder if I have created this need for two feedings a night. Since she has always been woken twice, her metabolism has been trained to it. If this is the case, there really isn't much I could have done to prevent it. She doesn't eat well sooner than 3 hours in the day, so to get 8 feedings in her in a 24 hour period, I needed to wake her. Also, I really needed to be sure she didn't wake up while I was in the middle of feeding my older two children breakfast.

So what would I recommend? If this is your only child OR you don't need to have a predictable morning (your older child(ren) is capable of taking care of himself in the morning or you have a spouse home at that time of day to help), I would let the baby sleep longer and see what happens (but I wouldn't go longer than the recommended 5 hours until baby is 5 weeks old).

If you have older children or a need to be sure your baby will not wake up at a certain time, you might want to wake in the night if needed at first.

I could have let her go longer and seen if then she would have taken in an extra feeding during the day. I don't have regrets at all. This has worked fine and frankly I am getting enough sleep. I don't want to continue like this forever, but it is fine for now. It works well for my family to have her eating in the day when she does, so it has all be fine. I am not concerned that this will never end; I know it will. When she is ready, she will either drop it or I will be able to tell she is ready and will help her to drop it (I am not sure how; I will decide if I need to).

OUTINGS/EVENTS
McKenna ate really well from her bottle this week. She ate quickly and didn't seem to mind the bottle in the least. She didn't get the look on her face of "what on earth is this?" She just ate. That was nice.

I went on a Mommy/Daughter date with Kaitlyn on the Saturday of this week. Traffic was really bad because of graduation ceremonies at the university, so we were late in getting home. My husband called and I told him to give McKenna some formula. So, she had her first taste of formula this week also. He only fed her 1.5 ounces before I got home, then I nursed her. She ate it well and quickly. I like to have my children used to the taste of formula in case I never need to give it to them. If I have surgery, need to leave town, lose milk supply, or even die (I just want to be prepare), I don't want to complicate the experience by them refusing nourishment.

We went to a dinner party with friends this week, also. McKenna slept the whole time and showed no sign of disturbance to routine when we returned home.

We also took McKenna to church for the first time. I adjusted her schedule a bit for church. She normally eats at 10:30 AM. Our church starts at 11:00 AM. I let her sleep, got her up at 10:45, we drove to church (about a minute or two away), then I fed her at church in the Mother's Lounge. I didn't want to feed her at home at 10:30 since she takes 30 minutes to eat; I didn't want us to be late. After I fed her, she had some waketime. Then when it was time for a nap, I wrapped her up in her swaddle blanket. I then held her. She wasn't so pleased with this. She didn't cry, but she was squirming around looking quite uncomfortable. I finally just put her on the bench next to me and she went to sleep. When it was time to go to Sunday School, I put her in my new sling to carry her around. That was really nice. One reason is that she was supported and I didn't have my arm go dead. I was able to use my arm to hold scriptures and raise my hand for comments. Another reason is that she was protect from other people :). It is harder for people to touch your baby when she is in a sling. Not to be crazy or anything, but I don't want her getting sick. McKenna usually eats at 1:30, but our church ends at two. I let her continue sleeping until the end of church. Then I put her in her carseat, where she woke up as I was putting her in, and fed her when we got home. No problem.

Another event was dinner at my parent's house to celebrate my sister's birthday. This wasn't particularly disruptive for her. My Mom has a crib, so I put her in the crib to sleep. She slept great. So the nice thing about that even was seeing that she slept just as well in a new bed in a new house.

I also had my 6 week postpartum visit. I wondered how she would do for this because she hates her carseat. I fed her and we left for the doctor. She fell asleep on the way and stayed asleep the entire time we were at the doctor and driving home. Once we got home, I put her carseat in her room but left her in it. I don't find babies transfer well. I then woke her when it was time to eat.

EMOTIONS
Emotions were better this week. Nothing huge to report, but I did want to say that I have written the emotions post and it is in line to be published this coming Friday.

INFECTIONS
I got a yeast infection in my nipples this week. I wanted to mention it because when I first got one with Kaitlyn, I had no idea what it was. It got worse and worse until I was bleeding and split open. It was really painful. I finally did some reading and realized I had a yeast infection. Once I started treatment, the pain subsided and I eventually healed. And yes, I continued nursing through it! I am so stubborn.

So this time I knew immediately. I was able to get some medication for it. McKenna doesn't have any signs of thrush, so I am hoping this is short-lived. Kaitlyn and I passed it back and forth until she was about 7 months old (but I wasn't bleeding the whole time, just until I started treatment). If anyone has any wonderful yeast infection remedies, I am all ears (or eyes I guess).

I also forgot to mention back in week two I think that I had mastitis. This was not big news for me; I got mastitis with both Brayden and Kaitlyn. I know the signs well enough to get it taken care of immediately, so it was only an issue for an evening and night (before antibiotics took care of things).

Just be mindful of things while breastfeeding and on the lookout for infections. While there is discomfort when you are initially breastfeeding, it shouldn't be painful long-term. You might need to build up some callouses, but it shouldn't take forever. Plugged ducts happen, but if you start to feel like you have the flu, see your doctor. Also, with both Kaitlyn and McKenna I had minimal pain when I first started breastfeeding them. The yeast infection with both started around 5 weeks old. That is when the pain started. If you have been breastfeeding successfully for some time and suddenly have tender nipples, consider the possibility of a yeast infection.

HELPFUL BOOKS
Here is the list of helpful books for newborn phase:
RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS

Adjusting for Context

On Becoming Babywise II reminds us of the need to take situations in context. "...you can focus on the right response in the short-term, without compromising your long-term objectives" (page 21). This means that there are times when you will need to change certain "rules" you have in order make a current situation work. This is the same concept as Why vs. How as discussed in Toddlerwise on up.

I wanted to share some times in the lives of my children when context has changed the rules for a situation.

Sleep Training

  • Brayden was about two weeks into sleep training. He was about 10/11 weeks old. By then we had figured out that he could not be interfered with while sleep training, or future naps would suffer for a couple of days. In other words, once we put him in his bed, we couldn't get him out until he had stopped crying, or he would cry longer and harder for a couple of days. It was time to put him down for a nap, and we were having company come over for dinner. Their scheduled arrival time was for after Brayden would typically have fallen asleep, but as we know, sometimes they take longer than usual. We decided rather than risk having to interfere with him, and thus hurt the overall process for a couple of days, we would just put him straight in the swing to sleep. That worked out great. We had no problems with sleep training for the next nap.
  • When Kaitlyn was 8 weeks old, she was done crying before naps. We went to a birthday party for a family member. While there, Kaitlyn was around grandparents that didn't see her as often as they would like. Grandma was holding her, and I let her stay up for her evening nap. She was fine the whole time. We got home, I fed her, and put her to bed for the night. Well, she was overstimulated. She cried. At first I thought, "No, you don't cry anymore, you are fine." I figured within a few minutes of crying, she would be asleep. I don't remember how long passed, I think 10-15 minutes, and I finally adjusted my thinking to the context of the situation and took her out of her crib and put her in the swing. It wasn't fair to expect her to self-soothe when she was so worked up and overly tired. We let her fall asleep in the swing, then my husband moved her to her to her crib. She slept fine.

Traveling

  • When Brayden was about 7 months old, we were at my grandparent's house for Christmas. He was to the point of sleeping through the night. Well, he woke up crying around 3 or 4 AM. This was uncommon for him. We were across the hall from my grandparents. I got up, nursed him, and put him back in bed. I didn't want to disturb the other people in the house. When we got home, things went back to normal.
  • When Brayden was 6 months old, we flew East to visit family. On the flight home, our flight was delayed. This put our flight during Brayden's normal night sleeping time. He has never been one to sleep well anywhere other than his bed. In a car seat, he would sleep at most 40 minutes--long enough for one sleep cycle. Everyone on the plane was trying to sleep. Rather than have Brayden fuss at all, I literally nursed him the entire flight. He didn't eat the whole time. He would suck to fall asleep, then lay on the boppy that I had brought with me, rouse, nurse to sleep, etc. It kept him quiet, passengers weren't disturbed, and I wasn't stressed. He never expected that treatment again (I don't think he particularly enjoyed it).
  • When Kaitlyn was 3 months old, my grandmother passed away. We traveled out of state for the funeral and were staying with my aunt and uncle, along with my parents and sister and their children. Kaitlyn woke up twice that night. Both times, I fed her. No, she wasn't really hungry, but she was in a strange place and it was much colder than she was used to. By nursing her, she went right back to sleep and we didn't disturb anyone else in the house. The last thing we all needed at the time was to be sleep deprived.
  • This past summer, Brayden was three and Kaitlyn was just over one. We went to Yellowstone National Park with some friends. We played each day by ear. Some days, Kaitlyn skipped her morning nap while we went sight seeing. Other days, both kids skipped the afternoon nap while we went sight seeing. Some nights they went to bed late. By the end of the trip, both were really tired. After a couple of days home, they were fine.

Church

  • When Brayden was a baby at church, we put him in his car seat for a nap. He wouldn't just fall asleep, though. We had to rock him, and he fought sleep. He needed the nap, however, to make it through church happily. We never experienced any negative side effects of this.
  • When Kaitlyn was a newborn, at church we gave her a pacifier to fall asleep. We don't normally use pacifiers. For a month or two, this worked great. Then we found that if she had a pacifier at church, she would cry for the rest of the day at home for naps. We decided the pacifier wasn't worth it. She didn't sleep at church after that, but she was completely happy. As soon as we got home, we put her in the swing (since she was over tired) where she took a nap. Following naps that day were in bed as usual, with no crying.

Skipping Naps

  • For most of Brayden's life, he has not been able to skip a nap and be a happy child. He could get by with a power nap, but he needed at least that. He couldn't have two disrupted naps in a row. If he did, he was really upset. For most of his life, we have made sure he has had all naps no matter where we are. That meant taking him from relatives that wanted to see him, but in the end it was better for everyone so that when he was awake, he was happy.
  • Around age two or so, Brayden was able to skip a nap every so often and be okay. At first this could only be once a week. As a two year old, this was done each week for church since church was during his one nap of the day. As he has gotten older, he has been able to handle more than one day in a week, though never two days in a row. Now he can do a couple of days in a row, but that is about it. As a 3.5 year old, we will let him skip a nap if we are at a family party or have some other event to attend. If a doctor appointment must fall in the time slot of his nap, I don't worry about it. We adjust bedtime as needed and are sure other days in the week are not disrupted.
  • When Kaitlyn had more than one nap in a day, she could skip naps and still be happy. For the first 6-7 months of her life, if a nap got skipped I was careful about over stimulation and would put her in the swing for the next nap just to get her "caught up" before returning to sleeping on her own. After that age, she has done fine. Now that she is 21 months old and takes one nap a day, I don't let her skip naps. I will let her go down for a nap late if needed or get up early if needed, but she needs a nap each day.

These are just some examples of when we have had to do things differently for the context of the situation. Hopefully these examples can show you how you can adjust for the situation you are in without stressing you out. You can adjust as needed and go back to normal once the context is back to normal.

Related Posts:



Church Nursery/Daycare/Playcenter

source

I know that many churches have nursery for children starting at young babies. My kids don't go to nursery until 18 months, so I don't know how starting young affects a child's view of nursery. I only have 5 more months to go before Kaitlyn goes to nursery! At our church, it seems like most kids have a difficult time when they first go to nursery. I find this to be completely understandable. They are in a strange room, usually with strange people, and wild children. It seems Babywise babies really don't have a huge struggle with mom leaving them alone in the nursery, though some do.

The first day my son started nursery, I stayed in the room for a while (like 20 minutes). I waited until I was sure he was comfortable there before I left. Then I told him I was leaving and hugged him and told him I would be back in a little while. He was fine for about an hour, then an older kid hit him and he cried and they came to get me. The next week, my husband stayed with him for about 20 minutes again, then he left. My son was fine that day. We haven't had a problem since.

When it comes to how you leave your child in the nursery (or daycare or play center while you work out) you have to do what you think is best for the personality of your child. My son does better if he has someone familiar there with him at first while he gets used to things, but quickly warms up to the situation. With my daughter, I think I will have to just put her in there, say goodbye, and walk out. The longer I would stay, the more likely I believe she will get clingy to me.

Whether you stay for a bit or leave right away, I think it is always good to tell your child you are leaving. I don't think it is good to sneak out. Your child will notice your absence at some point. Just keep the good-bye short, simple, and matter-of-fact. Save your emotion for once you leave the room (I know I got teary-eyed when I knew my son had graduated to nursery age--it is bittersweet).

I have also heard from many nursery workers that they perfer you to just leave. If your child is crying and throwing a fit, it is easier for them to work with your child without you there. Again, you need to know your child's personality. When I stayed with Brayden, he wasn't clinging to me and crying. He was just looking to make sure I was close by in case he had troubles. I could see Kaitlyn crying for a minute when I leave. But she would quickly get over it. I will be sure to keep you all abreast of the situation when it arises. The nursery workers can come get you if your child won't calm.

I have a Babywise friend whose son did great in nursery for 6 months, then suddenly didn't want to stay in there. That lasted for about 3 Sundays. She believes it was simply separation anxiety. They also happened to get a new nursery worker at the same time, and she was mindful of the situation. Unfortunately, we live in an age where you have to be very careful. If your child really doesn't like nursery, or suddenly starts disliking nursery, I would be sure there isn't a serious reason (like abuse from a nursery worker). I know the vast majority of workers out there would never harm your child in any way, but some would. The safety of our children should always come first. I hope I didn't scare us all today :)

As always, please share your tips/experiences with leaving your child with caregivers.

Related Posts:
Reader Comments/Thank Yous/Advice:
  • Dana said...
    Thanks for your thoughts on this! Here's my experience: We started each of our children in nursery at 3 mo. My son (3yr) has loved nursery from day one. The only times he ever had problems were when I was volunteering, and he didn't want me holding other babies. My daughter (11mo)hasn't had any problems in nursery, except a couple times she wouldn't take a bottle from the worker. She even doesn't seem to have any problem when I volunteer w/ me holding other babies. I think starting them early helped, plus the fact that we have consistant nursery workers they are used to being around.
    May 20, 2008 2:11 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Thanks for your thoughts Dana! I think some kids have a more natural tendancy toward "jealousy" than others. It is interesting.
    May 21, 2008 11:06 AM
  • mommytoisabella said...
    I had a very good experience with leaving Isabella in a church nursery. We were visiting the US during the holidays and at first I was hesitant about leaving her in the nursery at 4 months. I was sitting with her in the nursing mothers room or the family room. However with so many kids in there I could not concentrate on the messages. Being when I am at home in Kosovo I am the nursery worker in the church, therefore I am unable to attend the services, I decided while in the US to put her in the nursery and she did well. All of the nursery workers we surprised at what a good baby she was. When I checked her in there was a sheet where I could write down what her needs where i.e. the time to give her a bottle and if she needed a nap etc... The nursery workers were surprised that I knew the times she would be hungry and tired. Thanks to Babywise. I would get comments like "she was the only baby that didn't cry."
    May 22, 2008 1:53 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Thanks for sharing that! It is a nice sucess story :)
    May 23, 2008 4:44 PM
Reader Questions:
  • popuri said...
    Hi, in our church, the nursery room is open to babies & nursing moms as soon as they turn 1 mth old until they start to walk. The only issue is that they expect non-nursing moms to attend the service no matter what age the kids are. Some kids did great and stay with the roomful of strangers without a tear. My kid just won't. He is shy & gentle by nature and needed someone familier to be around. So I had to stay around. However, I noticed as he grows older 12mths, he begins to warm up to strangers a little better, by smiling, still hiding his face. At least he doesnt cry. So i start to spend some time in the nursery with him until he warms up to the surrounding and then tell him I am leaving and will come and get him later.

    I do this progressively and lengthens the time I am away. I also make sure there is a care-giver he will be comfortable with. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it does not. Then I realised he did better in a room with not so many people & when it is not too noisy. We have a different set of care-givers each wk, it is difficult for the child to form relationship with anyone.ps: my son is trained in babywise mtd at home.

    Do u have any suggestions how can parents can work together with the church for kids who won't stay without thier moms? Is there something we can do with the current structure? thanks!
    July 29, 2008 10:05 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Popuri,I don't know if there is really a good solution for you. Does he have independent play at home? If not, that might help. It is hard since he doesn't have consistent people in the nursery. I think what you are doing sounds good. Some kids really don't like other noisy kids, especially when they are the oldest. Otherwise it might just be something you have to continue solowly working ont.
    August 1, 2008 11:14 AM

Handling Church: Weekly Disruption

How to handle the weekly disruption of church without destroying your child's routine.

If there is one place you might be at a disadvantage with a schedule, it is church. But let's face it; church is hard for families of all parenting philosophies. Church is a set time that you can't move around to fit your schedule. It seems to inevitably fall at a time that overlaps a nap, and many Babywise babies won't sleep in mom's arms because he is accustomed to and prefers his bed. Now, I 100% prefer to have a harder time Sunday for a while and have a good napper at home than to have a good napper at church but not home. There are some things you can do to try to make your church experience as beneficial as possible for the whole family.

Also, you are only at a disadvantage when it comes to sleep. When it comes to behavior and helping, you are at a great advantage. The nursery workers love Brayden. They are constantly aghast at his level of knowledge in various subjects. He sits well and has great focusing skills. He pays attention to the lessons. He is the only child in the nursery who helps clean up the toys. He has no problems being left in the nursery without mom and dad.

This nap disadvantage only lasts really a short period. Most younger babies will sleep in moms arms or the car seat. Older babies are more flexible and able to miss a nap more easily. Also, the nap difficulty hits most toddlers if church falls during a toddler nap. Most toddlers won't sleep in mom's arms anymore. Those moms are left with very cranky children if the child isn't coming into the church already being well-rested in general. A Babywise child knows how to soothe himself and how to work through difficult situations.

As Babywise moms, we are used to very content and happy babies. Kaitlyn gets fussy for her at church most days, but everyone at church is constantly commenting on how happy she is and what a good baby she is. And they are right; she is much easier to handle at church than other children around her age.

Okay, so on to the tips. Whatever your method, remember to always evaluate it and be sure what you are doing is best for your baby's current situation. Your church strategy will need to change often over time.

Naps
Naptime is the biggest difficulty for most parents at church.
  • If church starts during a nap, there are a couple of options. When Kaitlyn was a young baby, I could put her down, then transfer her to the car seat and she would stay asleep. That was relatively short-lived though. You can also get your child up early on Sunday in order to get a full or at least longer nap in before church.
  • If normal naptime starts during church, you also have a couple of options. One is to try to put the child to sleep either in the car seat or your arms. This worked for Kaitlyn for a short period (maybe a month). This worked for Brayden right up until he was a year old. It was a struggle though. We would bounce him in the car seat for 20 minutes, then he would sleep 20-30 minutes. It was just enough to get him through church.
  • Another option for naptime that starts during church is to skip it and make up for it later in the day. This is our method with Kaitlyn and was our method with Brayden after he turned a year old. But we didn't lose the nap all together. Once Kaitlyn was at an age where a nap was dropped, I would just give her an extra nap. So she would have an evening nap when she usually didn't. This is a good method when your child still needs to eat every three hours or so.
  • You can also extend a nap after church. So you put your child down for the nap early and let her sleep longer. I also often need to put Kaitlyn down early for bed.
  • Keep over tiredness in mind. For a long time, I put Kaitlyn down for a nap after church in her swing since I knew she was overtired. I didn't want to expect her to go to sleep on her own when she was so tired. As she got older, it was wasn't a problem.
Feeding
  • Feed early if needed. I have found Kaitlyn will handle missing the nap much easier if she is full. So she drinks her lunch milk 30 minutes early. It really makes a huge difference.
  • Snacks. We also bring a lot of snacks for Kaitlyn. This helps keep her happy and preoccupied.
  • I didn't bring baby food for either child if church was over a mealtime. I just brought finger foods and fed lunch as soon as we got home.
Playing
  • We don't let our kids run around and play at church (unless it is in the nursery). They can either sit quietly and play/color/etc. or they can sit still on Daddy's lap out in the hall. There is no playing if we go out in the hall. No walking, no treats, not toys...nothing but sitting still on Daddy's lap. We have never had a problem with behavior at church. This is a policy we put in place before we ever were pregnant with Brayden simply because we observed the results of that vs. playing in the hall with the behavior of children. We have never had to do anything beyond that.
  • It is helpful to have toys that only come out at church. We have a church bag packed with toys and books in it that are only available at church each week. This way they stay fresh and interesting for Sunday.
  • You have to find the right balance between high enough expectations and not too high of expectations. Find the right balance for your children.
Sample Problem Solving
  • Church was from 1-4 PM. Kaitlyn spent months 0-8.5 on that schedule. We had a lot of different Sunday schedules and employed all of the ideas listed above. For a while I got her to sleep in my arms. After that, she took a "4th" nap on Sundays but no other day (it was at the 4th nap time, but not an actual 4th nap since she missed one at church). At the end of the year, she came home from church and went straight down for a nap. She then ate a little later for the next feeding.
  • Church was from 1-4. This was our schedule from 19 months to 2.5. Brayden took only one nap a day, from 1-4:30. He went to bed an hour early each Sunday night. When he was at the younger end, he would take a short nap before church.
  • Church was from 11-2. This was our schedule with Brayden while he was 13-19 months old. This was my favorite schedule. We had to get him up early from a nap and he went down a little late for a nap, but he stayed the happiest because he had shorter naps rather than no naps. He would also go down for the night early if needed.
  • Church is now from 9-12. No problem for Brayden (almost 3 years old). Kaitlyn (12 months) misses her morning nap (9:30-11:30). When we get home from church, she eats lunch then goes straight down, which is usually somewhere around 12:45. Her afternoon nap usually starts around 1:45 these days. She then naps until her normal wake up time (3:45-4:00). We also put her down a little early for bed, perhaps 30 minutes.
  • [Added February 2009] Church is once again from 11-2. This schedule is absolutely no problem for 3.5 year old Brayden. We get home, he eats lunch, and he takes a short rest period. He rarely falls asleep on Sunday. He doesn't need a nap every day of the week anymore, so we have no problem. For 1.5 year old Kaitlyn, it really isn't a problem either. She is really well behaved at church. Monday, she is tired. She has a shorter nap on Sunday and the time of the nap is very different (tending to start at 2:45ish rather than 1:00). So Monday there is fatigue, but she bounces back.

    [Added January 2010]: With church from 11-2, it started off well for McKenna. But by the end of 2009, it was a challenge. She was going down for a nap at 10, but then we had to wake her by 10:45. Then we had to feed her lunch during church. She wasn't quite old enough to just eat finger foods for lunch.
  • [Added January 2010]: We now have church from 1-4. This is totally fine for Brayden at 4.5 years old. Any time would be fine for him. It is rough for 2.5 year old Kaitlyn. She typically naps from 1-4:30. The first two week, she was very tired by the end and was on the floor in the nursery saying, "I want to sleep!" By week three, she had adjusted much better, but we will see what the future holds. I think she will get more flexible as time goes on and she gets older. It is a much better time for McKenna than 11 was. She gets to take a full morning nap. She also gets to eat lunch at home. I don't have to feed her at church at all. She typically naps from 2/2:20ish to 4:30ish, so it does take up her second nap. She doesn't sleep at church. What we do is get home, feed her dinner, then put her down for a nap. She sleeps until about 7:30, then I get her up, feed her, do pjs, story, etc. and put her back to bed. It works really well. She does have a bit shorter than normal waketimes on Monday, but not too bad.
Please share your tips if you have any!
Related Posts:
Reader Comments/Thank Yous/Advice:
  • Nicole Viola said...
    Hi! Our church service is from 9~11ish, which of course, is smack dab during naptime for our 12-mo. old, Gigi. Last week we randomly tried putting her in bed immediately when we got home and she miraculously fell right asleep (I'm the one who previously asked you about a 2-hour pre-nap-crib-hangout girl- we're working on that!) and then just had her lunch a little later and afternoon nap at normal time! We'll see in the future if that works again or if it was a fluke.
    May 6, 2008 5:36 PM
  • LHS Class of 1998 said...
    Thank you so much for this post Val! Megan:-)
    May 6, 2008 8:35 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    You are welcome Megan!
    May 7, 2008 2:11 PM
  • Catherine said...
    What a great article! Thank you!
    May 6, 2008 10:11 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    You are welcome Catherine! Thanks!
    May 7, 2008 2:12 PM
  • Jennifer Brewer said...
    Thanks, this is a great post! I am really blessed that my husband has an office at church! I am able to lay Gabby down for her morning nap before I take her to the nursery. Whew! What a blessing. Her morning nap is her best nap. Glad we don't have to miss it.
    May 7, 2008 7:00 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Jennifer, that sounds wonderful! I am jealous!
    May 7, 2008 2:14 PM
  • Krystal said...
    Our church schedule is from 11-2. My daughter's nap goes from 10-12-so chuch lands right in the middle. (of course). She gets up at 8am every morning, and I just put her down at 9 on sunday's so that she gets about 1 1/2 hrs. of sleep before church. Then when we get home at 2:15ish, she goes down again until about 4-4:30. She does get a little cranky at church, but not too bad. I hope that helps someone!
    May 9, 2008 10:31 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Thanks Krystal!
    May 9, 2008 10:54 AM
  • MarthaStuart said...
    Our church is from 8:15a-11:00a and we live 45 minutes away. Since my son normally eats at 7a & 11a and takes a nap from 8a-11a I feed him right before we leave (7am) and have the nursery worker lay him down for a nap at 8a. I then feed him after Sunday School (11a)before we leave for home. He sometimes will sleep in the crib or other times in someone's arms. Generally Sundays are rough and I end up holding him for part of a nap later in the day, but over all it works alright. Previously he was on a 3 hour schedule and I was able to get him up early (6:30a) and feed him during coffee hour (9:30a), which worked quite well also. He is now 11 weeks old and things on Sunday run a bit smoother than they did at first. :)
    November 15, 2008 3:53 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Thanks for sharing that MarthaStuart!
    November 22, 2008 3:45 PM
Reader Questions:
  • Emily said...
    Thanks for your response on solids on Sundays. I'm going to try that next Sunday. I have another solid question. My DD takes forever to eat solids and occasionaly(rarely) we need to leave and there's no time. Is it okay if on those occasions I give her solids later (maybe 30 minutes later or so)? Also, what and when were the first finger foods you used? Thanks, this whole eating thing is very new to me!
    August 19, 2008 11:35 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Emily, that would be fine. I would keep it the exception rather than the norm, but it would be fine to do that sometimes. See this post on finger foods: Finger Foods: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/finger-foods.html
    August 19, 2008 9:14 PM
  • Mahal said...
    Hi, we are on day 5 of CIO bootcamp (and very late starters with BW) with our 15WO daughter. You recommended in another blog to dedicate 2 weeks for sleep training. We don't want to confuse her progress with church on Sunday. Do you recommend that we stay home this Sunday and the next in order for her sleep training to be more concrete? What did you do? I know you started BW late with your son, so did you sacrifice church for a few weeks? Any suggestions would be very helpful.
    October 17, 2008 11:21 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Mahal, sorry this is late for you for Sunday. I didn't stay home with my son for church. Church is really important to us and I just had faith that in going to church the Lord would bless us :) With my daughter, I started her from birth and we stayed home from church for the first month to recover from birth and to avoid the end of RSV season, so she did have complete consistency. However, if she had started late I still would have gone to church.
    October 20, 2008 4:35 PM
    Mahal said...
    No problem, I understand and I realize you are not getting paid for this awesome service. I'm thankful that you are sharing your experiences online.We did go to church this past Sunday. She did better than I thought! She took a nap in her sling during service and then in her car seat on the way home (our service is during two of her naps). I'm so glad we didn't stay home. Thanks again!
    October 23, 2008 12:32 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Mahal, Thanks for your understanding! I am glad things went well for you!
    November 10, 2008 4:31 PM
  • B. B. said...
    You mentioned that you have your kids sit on daddy's lap in the hallway if they can not sit still in the meeting. Just curious, at what age did you implement this? My son is 9 months and crawling. It just seems at his age like it is too much to ask for him to sit still for 3 hours without being able to crawl around and move a bit. Especially because I feel he doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand "sitting still," etc. Are my expectations just too low?
    November 8, 2008 2:02 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    BB, We don't require them to sit perfectly still. But they can't crawl around or walk around the church or room. We have three different rooms we sit in. The first is the chapel where we sit on a bench and it has bit more room for the kids. The next is sunday school where there is basically enough room for them to sit on the floor or on a chair. The third is similar to sunday school. We are also there for 3 hours. I think you can expect him to pretty much sit "still"--meaning I don't think he needs to crawl around. If you have breaks between things, let him get wiggles out then. It is hard for the little ones, and I would be more lenient if possible the third hour (without allowing things that are "no's"). Before we had children, we were in an area where there were lots of young families. Most had only one child. This area also happend to have most parents who followed BW. There were some who didn't and allowed their kids to run around and play as babies. I watched them grow into toddlers that were quite disruptive and wouldn't stay in classroom but wanted to go into the hall where they would play. If they couldn't play in the hall, they played in the classroom. I saw that starkly contrasted with the BW babies who sat still and played through church. It is really what turned me on to BW in the first place. At 9 months he definitely can understand. Adjust to how you know him, but always be aware that what you allow now will only magnify as he gets older. Crawling seems innocent, but it morphs to walking then running. The child who was allowed to crawl won't be easy to tell 'no, you can't walk around the room at will.'
    November 10, 2008 4:55 PM
 Going to Church Without Ruining Your Baby's Sleep